


Bright Light in the Darkness

by rubberduckz84



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 94,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24286294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubberduckz84/pseuds/rubberduckz84
Summary: For 100 years, Legolas has been separated from his once closest friend - an incident that he blames himself for. And for 100 years, Elanor has blamed herself for what happened the day she left Mirkwood. But Fate has brought them together again. Will it break Elanor for good, or will the impeding darkness covering Middle Earth get in the way of a true reunion
Relationships: Legolas Greenleaf/Original Elf Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The journey into the heart of Lothlorien was a quiet one, for the most part. As the weary fellowship followed the marchwarden, they were each caught up in their own thoughts, most of which were directed towards the one member now missing. The flight from Moria to the borders of the elven lands had not allowed much time for grief or mourning. It was likely that everything would catch up to them once they arrived in the Golden Wood and were able to finally stop and rest.

The lone elf among the fellowship found his thoughts venturing elsewhere, however. While Legolas felt sorrow for the loss of Mithrandir, as they grew ever nearer to where the Lady of the Wood dwelled, he felt nervous energy coursing through him, making it difficult to maintain his normally calm exterior.

Though it had been 100 years, he could clearly see her face in his mind from that day. Bright blue eyes bloodshot and rimmed in red. Her pale cheeks coated in tears that mixed with mud and blood from battle. Blonde hair falling from a long braid. The air of utter and complete brokenness. And he was the one to blame.

She was here in Caras Galadhon, this he knew. However, he did not know what he would do upon seeing her, speaking to her, after so much time had passed. Legolas had dreamed of this, to be sure, though it did not often end well. While he hoped that enough time had passed that Elanor would perhaps forgive him and accept him back into her life, he could not help but think himself undeserving.

But it was better to try than to continue living life as he had for the last century, always wondering. Always worrying. Never knowing if she would return. He felt that part of his soul had departed as well when she left.

Memories of that day flinted through his mind like moths attracted to the light. The shouting. Her tears. The way the life left her eyes and it seemed as though her entire soul splintered apart before him. He had been too harsh, acting out of grief, fear and anger. Pushing her away when he should have been pulling her close. 

And then after it was all said and done, Elanor was gone.

It was not luck that brought the fellowship to Lothlorien, Legolas firmly believed this. But while part of him hoped this was his opportunity to mend the ties that he had so viciously broken that day, he worried that it was too late. 

He glanced around him, noting the marchwarden - Haldir - watching him closely, though his expression betrayed nothing that was going through his mind. Almost without thinking, Legolas wanted to lift his chin slightly, narrow his eyes, assert his dominance as the son of the King of Mirkwood. But he stopped himself, finding it unfair to the marchwarden. Before the prince could think more of it, Haldir returned his attention to leading the fellowship towards where they would meet with Galadriel and Celeborn.

“We are here,” Haldir said, motioning towards a grand staircase that wrapped around the outside of a large, magnificent tree that seemed to glow from within. Aragorn cast a worried glance around their party before wordlessly starting up the stairs, the others falling in step behind him.

~~~

There was a certain odd energy in the air that Elanor could feel strongly. Servants were moving all around at a much faster pace than usual and she overheard one tell another that the marchwarden had returned. This was news as Haldir had told her he would not be returning from the latest patrol until the day after tomorrow.

He never came back early. Though since she arrived in the city, he seemed to linger there a bit longer in between patrols, allowing one of his brothers to lead in his stead. He said it was to rest, but Elanor had her own thoughts on that.

She set out to find him, eager to hear what news he brought from the borders of Lothlorien. Perhaps it was another letter from Imladris. They had been coming at an alarming rate, making it much harder to ignore the coming darkness.

Rounding a corner within the home, she smiled in relief to see Haldir standing in the great foyer unharmed. She quickened her pace as he turned, hearing her approach.

“I do hope that you have news. I can sense that something is amiss, though for the life of me, I cannot seem to locate anyone who can tell me just what,” she said, speaking quickly in her haste.

As Haldir’s brow furrowed, worry began to settle into the pit of Elanor’s stomach. She hoped that something had not befallen Imladris, the Woodland Realm or her father.

Or _him_. Her heart constricted slightly as her thoughts flickered to Legolas, but just as quickly, she forced herself to focus. Now was not the time, though he never seemed far from her thoughts, try as she might to push him out of her head.

“You have heard of the Fellowship, yes?” Haldir asked. 

Elanor nodded as some of the tension began to leave her body, knowing this was not about Mirkwood or her father, though she still could not completely relax. Her aunt had shared with her news that a company had set out from Imladris, intending to travel to Mordor to destroy the Ring of Power. It was a precarious mission that would determine the fate of Middle Earth, so no light matter.

“They have arrived in our lands. They are now speaking with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, though I should see that they have proper accommodations ready,” he said.

Ah, this was not so dire then. Though, perhaps they were hurt and in need of aid. Regardless, they must be tired and in need of food and fresh clothing.

“I can help,” she offered, already starting towards the entrance to the dwelling, though she stopped suddenly. “Or are they badly injured? I can send for Durothil or tend to them myself.” 

“He has already been sent for, but one has fallen - Mithrandir. The rest only suffer from minor ails,” Haldir replied, though he did not move to follow her.

“Mithrandir? How?” Elanor asked, not quite believing that the powerful wizard would be the first casualty on this journey. 

“In Moria. Fighting a balrog,” he said grimly. 

Elanor looked to the ground as sorrow and worry began to rise up within her. She did not know the wizard well, though she knew her aunt and uncle would be greatly saddened by this news. And what this meant for the remainder of the dangerous journey was yet to be seen.

“There is more…” 

“More dire news?” she asked, looking back up at him. Haldir was silent as though weighing his words, a quality very much unlike him when the two were together. It was rare that he hesitated to speak his mind to Elanor, which only caused her worry to grow. 

“Haldir… speak, I beg of you,” she said softly, as she walked back towards him, reaching out to lightly touch his arm. He looked over at her small hand before meeting her blue eyes. 

“You should know, Elanor, that among the Fellowship is… the Prince of Mirkwood,” he finally said. Elanor’s eyes widened as she felt the breath leave her and the world begin to spin slightly. Haldir reached out to steady her.

He was here? In Lothlorien?

For a moment, she felt as though she should fly through the corridors to her room. Lock herself within until the Fellowship left. Already, a deep-seeded ache had started up in her heart; one that she had spent the last 100 years fighting to ignore. But just as suddenly, she knew this was not something she could do. More than her family expecting her to help host the Fellowship, deep inside, part of her knew that she must face Legolas eventually.

But could she bear it?

She had been a broken wretch when she arrived in Lothlorien. It had taken a lot of time and effort on her part - and Haldir’s - for her to climb out of the pit of despair that she had dug for herself. And for the most part, Elanor thought she had healed.

But just the mention of his name had evoked such a strong pain within her, that she wondered if perhaps she had been deluding herself all this time.

“Elanor?”

At the sound of the once familiar voice, Elanor’s eyes widened though she held Haldir’s gaze. This all too soon. She was not prepared. She was sure her eyes looked wild with fear from the concern on Haldir’s face. Her grip tightened on his arm.

_Calm. Control. Breathe._

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, Elanor turned to see Legolas stop just inside the room, hoping that her expression was far more relaxed than she currently felt. Her heart was pounding as her chest tightened.

_Calm. Control. Breathe._

“Legolas,” she finally said, her voice managing not to shake. 

“It has been such a long time,” he murmured, his face calm, though his eyes held a certain desperation. She nodded stiffly as the pain intensified.

This was too much. She was not ready.

“I must go,” she said before spinning on her toes and quickly striding out of the room, her long pale blue skirts fluttering behind her.

All these years she had fought to be rid of her heartache, her guilt, her pain. Attempted to forge a new path.

Legolas would ruin it all.

~~~

Legolas watched as Elanor walked away gracefully, her cold expression seared in his mind. Where was the once bright and lively elleth who could barely contain her laughter and spirit? What he would give to see her smile again.

Of course, he knew why she was this way, but he still had hoped. He remained still, though he longed to follow her. To wrap his arms around her to make sure that she was not a vision or mirage. Before he could come to any decision, Aragorn stepped into the room, stopping at his side.

“Legolas, come,” he said briefly. “There is much to discuss.” Legolas watched Elanor a moment longer before turning to see the ranger giving him a curious look. 

“Of course,” Legolas said, stepping out of the archway quickly and then moving down the stairs. Aragorn nodded towards the marchwaden then followed.

~~~

Haldir turned to look after Elanor, seeing that she had already disappeared into the depths of the home, worry welling up within him. Though slow, she had begun to heal. Smiling more. The life returning to her eyes, though he knew there were still parts of her that remained closed.

But the elleth he first met thousands of years ago during her visits to Lothlorien with her mother was finally, at long last, returning. And now at just seeing him for a moment, she was again retreating into herself.

However, Haldir still had hope.

He had seen the look in the Prince’s eye upon seeing Elanor. It was enough for him to know that rather than tearing her apart, this time he very well could be a healing balm for her soul. 

That is if Elanor would allow it...

~~~

Elanor felt, rather than heard, her aunt’s arrival shortly after she had walked into her rooms. While she wanted nothing more than to be alone right now, she knew that one did not so lightly send away Lady Galadriel.

“Why did you not warn me? You knew he was coming,” Elanor said, staring out over the city from her balcony, a cold edge to her voice. A gentle breeze blew her golden curls back from her face.

Galadriel stepped out onto the balcony, making her way over to stand regally at Elanor’s side. She did not answer at first, just looked over at her, studying her niece’s daughter. 

Elanor looked so very much like her mother Fraeya, who had been a favorite of Galadriel’s. But beyond their hair and eyes and complexion, they had shared the same fire that had once burned in her brother Aegnor’s eyes.

Fraeya had been wise and kind, though displayed a fearsome temper when anger did strike. She was lively and laughed far more often than not. Elanor had inherited many of these attributes from her mother. She had an eagerness for life that Galadriel admired, though some called it rashness. Elanor was always running rather than walking and had continued to do much longer into her life than most elves.

That had changed when Elanor arrived 100 years ago, though Galadriel had faith that she would find her fire again. Held it still, though she was noticeably upset by the arrival of the Prince of Mirkwood.

“Would you have stayed?” Galadriel asked gently. Elanor did not answer, clenching her jaw instead, though she did not need to speak for Galadriel to know the answer. Elanor would have fled. And Galadriel knew just how important it was for her to stay.

To face the prince. To make peace with her past and embrace who she had been and who she was meant to be.

“You are testing me,” Elanor said tensely, still not looking at her aunt. “This is all a test, is it not?”

“It is not,” Galadriel said slowly. Elanor finally looked at her aunt, meeting her eyes. There were still sometimes when she felt as though she were peering into her own, they looked so much alike. “This is no test. But you have long known that someday you would face him. Face your past. You cannot run from it forever, Elanor.”

Elanor swallowed as she looked back over the city, fighting off the tears that had begun stinging her eyes as she gripped the railing tightly. She had thought she finally mastered control over her emotions, though it appeared she had not. Shame began coursing through her.

“I fear I am not ready,” she nearly whispered. Galadriel smiled, gently placing her hand on Elanor’s.

“You came here to heal and forge a new path. But you cannot move forward until you make your peace with the past,” Galadriel said. She squeezed Elanor’s hand as she leaned over and kissed her cheek. She then turned, leaving Elanor alone with her thoughts.

Once her aunt had left, Elanor could no longer stop the tears as they poured down her cheeks. For so long all she could do was to wallow in the pain her memories brought. Then she tried to push them away - the good and the bad. To forget. It had gotten easier to ignore the guilt and heartache when she did not allow herself to think of Legolas or the love she held for him at all. To open herself up to love once again.

But she had been powerless to stop them fully, if she was being honest. And she most certainly was powerless now. Even the happy ones brought pain, for they were reminders of what she could not have and did not deserve.

~~~

_“Legolas!” Elanor called out brightly as she ran to the training grounds, looking around for the prince. She knew she was late. And that he would likely punish her for it dearly. The prince did not like to be kept waiting, even by his best friend._

_“What kept you?” he replied from where he was leaning against a tree on the edges of the grounds. He gracefully pushed off it and started towards her as she came to a stop._

_“Ada,” she replied with a huff and slight roll of her eyes. “He kept me longer than expected.” Legolas raised his eyebrows at her, crossing his arms as though he found the excuse lacking. “I am speaking the truth - you know how he is.”_

_“Another lecture?” he asked, smiling slightly._

_“He does not understand how important this is to me,” she replied bitterly. Legolas chuckled - he was long aware of how Ailmar felt about his daughter’s education in warfare. He preferred that she spend her time on matters more befitting her station as the daughter of a Sindarin elf of Mirkwood, such as music or other more cultured pursuits. Her mother had long been renowned throughout the elves of Middle Earth as a talented singer, as well as for her wisdom._

_But Elanor did not possess the same level of talent as a singer, though she fared well at dancing. And while she was clever and excelled in all subjects of study, she was just as strong in warcraft. No amount of begging, bartering or attempts to keep her otherwise preoccupied would detain her from her training._

_“I thought perhaps after your father had spoken to him, he would finally understand. Goodness knows Amil has yet to convince him,” she said. “Surely if the King has said he wishes for me to train, Ada would understand.” She pulled out her sword and looked towards Legolas expectantly._

_“Not today. You need to work on your archery,” he said, walking towards the long line of targets. Elanor frowned as she sheathed her sword and moved to follow him. She was hoping to spar and work out her frustration over her father’s latest attempt to thwart her ambitions._

_She wanted to join the guard and fight alongside Legolas and the other great soldiers of Mirkwood. Prove that she was more than just a member of the nobility. Her father had his diplomacy, her mother her kindness and artistic talent. Elanor wanted something that was completely hers and felt as though this would be it._

_She pulled her bow from her back and walked up to a target, calmly pulling out an arrow. Though they were still only about 400 years old, Legolas had already become a strong archer and took to training Elanor. Preferring the sword, her archery skills were lacking in comparison, though she still thought herself a decent shot._

_“Move your feet,” Legolas said just as she brought the bow and arrow up. “You’re in the wrong position.” Elanor remained silent, fighting off the urge to roll her eyes. He took his role as tutor much too seriously in her opinion. Especially considering they had been running around together since they were very little. She changed her stance, glancing over at him. He nodded and she then returned her focus to the target in front of her. She slowly inhaled and then exhaled, allowing the arrow to fly free. It flew through the air, landing just right of center. Frowning, she quickly pulled out another arrow and took aim. This one hit a bit farther right. Huffing, she took out one more arrow and took aim._

_“You are allowing your frustration to cloud your focus,” Legolas said calmly._

_“Oh yes, master archer,” Elanor replied dryly._

_“Cheek will get you nowhere,” he said with a slight smile, stepping up behind her. He placed one hand on her bow hand and the other on the hand that held the arrow. Elanor’s eyes widened slightly as she felt tingles run through her body at the contact. The sensation was an odd one - she had never reacted in such a way when near Legolas or when he touched her. She tried not to think of it as she returned her focus forward at the target and not on the prince’s hands._

_Legolas adjusted her arms, then stepped away and studied her a moment before kicking her left foot a bit._

_“There,” he said. Elanor took a deep breath and let loose the arrow, watching as it hit dead center. “Better. But you need more work.”_

_Elanor lowered her bow, scowling at him slightly, though it was tempered by the smile starting to appear on her face._

_“Ever the taskmaster,” she said snarkily. Legolas just stared at her a moment before breaking out into a grin._

_“You need it if you are to join the king’s guard,” he replied. That small phrase was enough to set alight her competitive nature. Elanor turned back to the target and shot three arrows in quick succession - all of them hitting center. She then turned back to him and curtseyed dramatically, a smug look on her face as she took in his shocked expression._

_“Not the only one who can learn archery,” she said lightly as she pulled off her quiver and set it and the bow aside, then unsheathed her sword. “Let’s see if I can beat you at sword…”_

~~~

Elanor jumped as she spun around, furiously wiping her cheeks. She had been so lost in her memories that she did not hear Haldir enter the room. 

“I am fine,” she said quickly as he stopped in front of her, the concern clear in his grey eyes.

He must have gone home, for he was no longer in his armour. Sensing the turmoil hiding just under the surface, he reached out and gently pulled her into his arms. Elanor stiffened at first, but then found herself relaxing, drawing from his strength as she had done many times before.

“You do not need to hide your feelings from me, you know,” he said softly.

“I do not wish to feel at all,” Elanor replied. “How long do they intend to stay?”

“I do not know. Long enough to rest and replenish their supplies. They have had a hard journey. Perhaps a month or so,” he replied, stepping back from her and leading her back into her room. They walked across the sitting room to a settee and chairs before a lit fireplace, with Haldir taking a position upon the settee. Elanor gracefully sat in a nearby chair, her eyes fixed on the flames. 

“I had not known that he was part of the Fellowship, though it does not surprise me,” she said dully. 

“His father sent him to Imladris on his behalf. A creature had escaped their custody… he did not know about the ring at the time,” Haldir said, recalling what information he had gleaned. “He had spent some time there years before, while Lord Aragorn was young, then followed him to the Dunedain.” Elanor looked over at him, perplexed by the news. 

Legolas had not often left their lands before, though it was not surprising that Thranduil had sent his son to represent him elsewhere. It took something rather great for the king to leave his halls. 

“I had not heard this,” she said softly. “Granted I have not heard much of him since I left. Ada avoided it in his letters.”

Haldir continued his study of her, watching as the fire cast shadows across her face. He knew that she would fight him if he pushed her to speak her mind. But he also knew that she needed to speak about it.

“Perhaps the Valar have brought you two together for a reason,” he said. Elanor looked over at him, her eyes narrowing slightly before she returned to staring at the flames. 

“Or perhaps they wish to continue punishing me,” she replied hollowly.

Haldir stood and walked over to her, taking her hands in his as he dropped down to his knee in front of her. Elanor turned to meet his eyes.

“When will you stop punishing yourself?” he asked softly. Elanor did not answer, though he could clearly see from her expression that she felt she still deserved it. “What happened was-”

“Entirely my fault,” she said sharply, cutting him off. “I deserve his anger.” Sighing, Haldir let go of her hands and stood, walking back over to sit down on the settee.

She had been doing so well that he had thought that she was truly starting to feel happy again. And that perhaps this meant she had finally forgiven herself. Less and less they spoke about Mirkwood, the prince and what had happened that day. But now, he was not so sure.

“I shall head back out the day after tomorrow,” he said, quickly moving to a different topic. He would spare her for now. “Lady Galadriel wishes that I stay to help our guests settle before going back to guard our borders. I left Rumil in charge and we both know it is not wise to leave him unchaperoned for too long.” 

Elanor nodded in response, though looked towards the windows at the dark city outside rather than remark on the obvious slight against his brother. This only concerned Haldir more.

“The hour is late and I grow weary,” she said. Haldir stood and walked over, leaving a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I shall call on you tomorrow,” he said with a soft, hopeful smile. Elanor nodded, then quickly looked back into the fire. 

He stopped at the doorway and looked back at her, clinging to the hope that she would be okay at the end of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is the revised Chapter 1! I changed the timeline a bit – Elanor has only been gone 100 years rather than 200. And I made it so that Elanor and Haldir met before her arrival 100 years ago – but I think we get more into that in the next chapter. And I’ve finally managed to make Elanor a mix of the first and second version. She’s still very emotional but closed off in some ways. In version 1, she is super, super quiet and demure – very closed off - but I didn’t want her to change too drastically.
> 
> Anywho, hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_The clang of metal on metal. Grunts. Shouts of pain._

_Everywhere darkness._

_Elanor spun around, her sword out, but she could see nothing no matter how many times she opened and closed her eyes. Terrified, she would move forward and then back, trying to locate the others as she could hear them fighting around her. She then heard the familiar squeal of a spider in pain._

_“ELANOR!”_

_Her heart pounded in her chest as she continued moving around blindly, slashing the air with her sword._

_“Where are you?!” she shouted back. “I… I can’t see!”_

_“ELANOR, LOOK OUT!”_

_Suddenly, a bright light filled the space so overpowering, that Elanor cowered back, throwing her arm over her eyes. When she was finally able to see again, she was standing in an empty clearing save for one body lying at the center. Her lungs began closing as her feet started moving, taking her closer._

_“No… no… NO!”_

~~~

Elanor shot up in her bed, breathing heavily as her hair clung to her face and neck. She began shivering, the night air cooling her as it hit the sweat that had broken out in her sleep.

Still shaking, she threw off her blankets and walked across the room to a pitcher of water, pouring a cup and then gulping it down eagerly. She poured another and repeated, wishing it was wine rather than water. After taking a deep breath, she leaned against the table and closed her eyes, trying to still her mind. But all she saw was Fenris. His face, bloody and bruised. Then Legolas’. Angry and shouting.

Her eyes flew open as she pushed off from the table and walked to the open balcony, leaning against the railing as she looked out at the still and quiet city around her. 

She was no stranger to nightmares. But it had been awhile since she last had one and she had foolishly thought perhaps they had finally left her in peace. 

She should have known they would come back. All because _he_ was here. 

Gripping the railing tightly, Elanor could feel hot tears stream down her cheeks as she looked down to the forest floor. Even now, she could feel the guilt begin to slither into her soul, heavy and unyielding. The piercing pain attacking her heart.

When would she be free of this?

The cracking of a twig thankfully distracted her as she looked over to a clearing nearby basked in the soft glow of the moonlight. She walked over to the far edge of the balcony, watching. Near silently, she saw Legolas step into the clearing, looking around. She stepped back slightly, not wishing for him to see her, but she could not bring herself to look away.

He looked the same, but there was a heaviness about him that had not been there before. She could not help as she wondered and worried what had caused it. Perhaps the journey and the loss of Mithrandir. Or perhaps it was because he was parted from Tauriel. 

Shaking her head, she looked away. It would do no good to dwell on such things. She then walked back into her room and over to her bed, where she crawled in and burrowed beneath the blankets, praying that sleep would claim her and the nightmares would stay at bay. 

~~~

The next morning, Legolas stood once again in the clearing near where the Fellowship was staying far before anyone else had woken. He looked towards the grand tree where Galadriel and Celeborn lived, and he assumed now Elanor. He wished to go there and speak to her, though worried that she would refuse him after her reaction the night before. He could not blame her. Even now, his vicious words rung in his own ears.

“Legolas,” Aragorn said as he approached. Legolas turned to him and bowed slightly. In the wake of Mithrandir’s death, they had all started looking to the former ranger as their new leader.

“How fare the halflings?” Legolas asked.

“Still sleeping. They are rather weary from the journey and their grief,” Aragorn replied. He glanced over at the home and then back at Legolas, studying him closely as the elf directed his gaze back to the dwelling, looking up at the many landings and balconies. 

He had known Legolas since he was a child - felt they were rather close. But yet, Aragorn could only recall a few times when he had heard him mention the name Elanor. Usually it was whispered into the night when Legolas thought himself alone. Or slipped out accidentally and was usually followed by a few hours of brooding silence on the elf’s part.

Considering her dramatic exit the night before, Aragorn only grew more curious about what had transpired between the two.

“How long shall we tarry here?” Legolas asked.

“I do not wish to stay too long, though I feel the hobbits need the rest. Perhaps a month or two. We can regain our strength. Gather new supplies,” Aragorn said. “I do not wish to take advantage of the hospitality we have been shown.”

“They will allow us to stay as long as necessary,” Legolas said, finally looking over at him. Aragorn was silent before taking a deep breath.

“Who is she?” he finally asked. 

Legolas frowned. He had expected Aragorn to eventually bring up Elanor, though he was not eager to divulge all of his memories of her with him.

“She is the daughter of my father’s most trusted advisor,” he stated. “We grew up together, though I have not seen her in 100 years. She came here to dwell among her mother’s family.”

Aragorn looked over at the house.

“So, she is kin to Lady Galadriel,” he said calmly.

“Her mother was the only child of Aegnor and Andreth,” Legolas replied. Aragorn looked back over at him, puzzled by the news.

“I thought that they never married,” he replied.

“They were only married a short time before Aegnor was killed. Fraeya - Elanor’s mother - was born shortly after and then raised here in Lothlorien by Galadriel after Andreth died. Complications from giving birth,” Legolas said, sounding as though he were reciting it from a book. Aragorn said nothing at first, just took in the information. 

“She is part mortal,” he then said. Legolas nodded.

“Mortal, Sindarin and Noldarin. There is none like her,” he replied, though Aragorn sensed there was more to his statement than her heritage. 

“And you were close?”

Legolas did not answer at first, looking to the ground as he furrowed his brow. But finally, he looked back up at his friend.

“Fraeya became like a second mother to me after my own died when I was still very young. I often spent more time with them than my own father,” he said, a sense of loss clear in his eyes. “But then… Fraeya was killed and… Elanor and I felt as though we only had each other to rely on. Our fathers changed greatly when our mothers died…”

The ranger was taken aback slightly by the admission. He knew of Legolas’ history, but he was still rather perplexed as to why he had not mentioned Elanor before if she was such an intricate part. Surely someone with whom he had such a close bond would have sprung up. Their parting must have been truly devastating if Legolas had not spoken of her. 

Aragorn opened his mouth to ask another question but was interrupted by the sound of someone walking up and calling out to them. The two turned, seeing Haldir approach.

“I hope that you are both well this morning,” the marchwarden said. 

“We are, thank you. I find our accommodations more than adequate,” Aragorn said. Haldir studied Legolas a bit longer before flicking his grey eyes to the ranger and nodding. 

“I shall see that food and other provisions are sent to you,” he said. “I am just on my way to the home of the Lord and Lady of the Wood to see about it.” He then bowed and started to turn away.

“How is she?” Legolas asked, unable to help himself. Haldir paused, looking over at him.

“She is… doing as well as she can,” he said, his expression unreadable. 

“Yes, of course,” Legolas replied. Haldir then nodded again and set off towards the home.

“I shall go see to the others,” Legolas said, walking off before Aragorn could say more. 

The ranger just sighed and watched him, his many questions left unanswered.

~~~

Elanor walked through the forest city, looking at the activity around her. It seemed the arrival of their guests had created a level of excitement in Lothlorien. It was not often that they had such odd visitors. She had heard there was even a dwarf - the first allowed into the lands that she could think of. 

Despite everything, even Elanor could not help but be intrigued by the Fellowship.

From her side, Haldir watched her closely. She had not wanted to venture out that morning, but he had all but forced her after speaking with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, saying the fresh air would lift her spirits. Elanor was beginning to think he had arranged some sort of “accidental” meeting between her and the prince, believing that confronting him would ultimately help her. 

Elanor could not decide as two opposing sides warred within her - one longing to be in Legolas’ presence while the other wished to run far away. It was a frustrating predicament, to be sure.

“Where are they staying?” she asked. Though she tried to sound calm, Haldir could no doubt sense the tension in her voice.

“Not far from here,” he replied. “They keep to themselves, for the most part, but I feel as though the hobbits may wish to explore more. They are rather curious fellows.” Elanor stopped and looked over at him, her eyes wide as she was distracted from her earlier annoyance.

“Hobbits? On such a journey?” she asked. Haldir nodded, a small smile on his face.

“They are rather brave and resilient, these hobbits,” he explained. Elanor looked in the direction where she assumed they were staying, now wishing to go see them, for she had never met a hobbit. Though part of her hesitated. Legolas could be there. “Would you care to meet them?”

“I…” Elanor stopped, thinking it over. She then looked up at Haldir and nodded. “I should like that. I have never met a hobbit nor a dwarf.” Haldir then motioned in the direction she had been looking and the two continued walking. 

Before they reached the clearing, they could already hear bright shouting and laughter.

As they approached, Elanor saw two small men no bigger than a child sparring with a man. Nearby the dwarf sat smoking and laughing at their antics while next to him were two other small men. One had darker hair, a weary smile on his face that did not quite reach his eyes. The other sat next to him, a worried expression on his face. 

Thankfully, the Prince was nowhere in sight.

The dwarf saw them first, immediately jumping to his feet and walking over, putting his pipe away in the process. 

“My lady,” he said, bowing to her as his eyes lit up. No doubt he had noticed the similarities between herself and Lady Galadriel. “May I introduce myself, I am Gimli, son of Gloin,” he said grandly. “It is an honor to be welcomed here by you and your kind.”

Elanor blinked slightly, glancing at Haldir, who was barely keeping the smile off his face as he watched the interaction in amusement.

“I am Elanor, of… Lothlorien,” she said in return, quickly covering her stumble.

“Niece to Lady Galadriel,” Haldir added. Elanor shot him a look. 

“I knew I saw the resemblance,” Gimli said, smiling at her. “Please, come meet the rest of our party.” He started leading Elanor across the clearing to the two halflings that had been sparring.

“I’m Merry Brandybuck, my lady,” the first said, grinning as he bowed. “And this is Pippin Took. Of the Shire.”

“It is very nice to meet you,” Elanor replied, finding their enthusiasm refreshing. Perhaps Haldir had been right about getting out of her room.

“And I am Boromir, son of the steward of Gondor,” the man said, bowing towards her. Elanor studied him a moment, feeling there was something lurking within him just under the surface. A hint of something off. But she maintained her polite smile regardless as she nodded towards him.

“And that’s Mr. Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee, also of the Shire,” Pippin said loudly, pointing over at the two remaining hobbits. 

“I hope that you all are getting much needed rest,” Elanor said, offering the two a friendly smile. Sam smiled shyly at her as Frodo mustered a small one. A glint of gold around his neck caught her attention and she immediately wondered if this small creature was bearing the Ring of Power. Immediately her heart went out to him, knowing it was a rather large load to bear.

Elanor knew a thing or two about carrying darkness.

“We are grateful for your hospitality,” Sam said. He looked around at the tall trees. “We certainly don’t have trees like this in the Shire.”

“I suspect you’ll not find trees like this anywhere but Lothlorien,” Elanor replied. 

“Is it true what they say? That the trees turn golden in the autumn?” Pippin asked, stepping closer to Elanor.

“It is,” she said. Pippin’s face lit up as he looked at Merry, the both of them seeming excited about the news. They then turned back to Elanor, practically bouncing on their bare toes. She could see the many questions they had forming in their eyes.

“I must attend to some things, but if you would like, I believe Lady Elanor would be agreeable to giving you a short tour of Caras Galadhon,” Haldir said. The hobbits eagerly looked back at her.

“Of course,” she said, slightly overwhelmed. 

“Come on, Mr. Frodo, Sam! We’re getting a tour,” Pippin shouted happily to the other two hobbits. 

“I shall find you later,” Haldir said, turning to Elanor and bowing, though his eyes lingered on her.

“Yes,” she said before turning back to the hobbits as he walked off. “Now, shall we begin?”

~~~

Legolas heard a familiar laugh as he walked through the trees, which caused him to pause. He had just been to check on some supplies and was now returning to the Fellowship. He and Aragorn had been rather busy that day, speaking to Galadriel’s people about what supplies they would need to continue on. 

He stopped, seeing Elanor walking through the trees, a smile on her face as she looked down at the hobbits surrounding her. Pippin and Merry were talking over each other, both seeming eager to tell her some story that seemed to entertain her.

Legolas had often wondered over the years if he would ever hear her laugh or see her smile again. Being witness to it now, his heart leaped in joy. 

“It seems Lady Elanor has met the hobbits,” Aragorn said, bringing Legolas out of his reverie. The elf had nearly forgotten they were walking together.

“Yes, it has,” he replied, continuing on towards the clearing where Boromir and Gimli were talking amiably as Gimli smoked his pipe. 

“The hobbits are on a tour of the city,” Boromir called out as they neared. “We’ve just met Lady Elanor, Lady Galadriel’s niece.”

“A vision, to be sure. I nearly thought the Lady of the Wood had graced us with her presence yet again,” Gimli said, a bit awestruck. Legolas glanced in the direction the hobbits and Elanor had gone off in.

“You’ll find once you get to know her, she is very much different from Lady Galadriel,” he replied, earning confused looks from both the man and dwarf.

“How would you know?” Boromir asked with a curious smile. Legolas glanced at him and then started towards his lodgings.

“I know a great many things,” he said testily, leaving Boromir and Gimli to look at Aragorn in confusion.

~~~

_Legolas stared up at Elanor from the ground as she grinned down at him, breathing slightly heavily. His heart skipped a beat as she began chuckling while bending down over him._

_“I told you that I would best you,” she said, smirking._

_She then stepped back and held out her hand, helping him up._

_“This is just the once,” he said, beginning to brush dirt and grass off himself as she sheathed her sword and placed it on the ground next to her bow and quiver. He attempted to hide his wounded pride, but it only made her laugh harder._

_“Yes, but now I know how it’s done and shall repeat the act much more easily,” she replied, still seeming rather pleased with herself._

_“Yes, and now I know how to prevent it in the future,” he said, giving her a smug look. Elanor frowned as he began laughing. With a growl, she then quickly pounced on him, the two starting up another sparring match, though this time leaving their weapons abandoned and tussling about much as they had as children. Legolas could not help but continue laughing - in some ways, Elanor was rather predictable. He long ago learned just what to say or do in order to draw her ire._

_He had just pushed her away when she paused a moment, before smirking at him. She started to run as though she was about to pounce on him again, but instead moved just out of his reach at the last second and swung her leg out, once again knocking him off his feet. Just as she shouted in triumph, he reached out and grabbed her ankle, yanking her down on the ground with him._

_“Two can play at that game,” he said, slightly out of breath. Elanor glared at him, but then started chuckling as she looked up at the sky between the branches of the trees._

_“I am ready,” she said finally. “You know this.”_

_“I do,” he said, grimacing slightly. She had been begging to officially join the guard and begin patrols for a while now. And he wanted her there, felt that she was more than ready, but her father had begged him not to let her join or to find some task that would have her remain safely within the hall of the king._

_“Then why won’t you let me?” she asked, looking back over at him, her expression now serious. Legolas looked away, feeling a stirring in his heart that he had felt before, but was coming with more regularity. “If you say my father, I will sock you.”_

_He waited a few moments before looking back over at her, noting the look of impatience that had fallen over her features. It was her biggest flaw in some ways. And while she was able to rein it in when it counted, he worried that it would someday get the best of her._

_Though he figured that someday she would eventually grow out of it. They were both still quite young._

_“Next patrol you may join me,” he said, finally relenting and finding in that moment he might agree to just about anything to make her smile. “We leave the day after tomorrow.” Elanor broke out into a grin as she sat up._

_“Really?” she asked. Legolas pushed up, now sitting next to her._

_“Yes,” he said. “You are ready, and I will be grateful to have you at my side.” Elanor leaned over and hugged him, nearly knocking him back down. She was always prone to showing more affection than others, especially towards him. But he could not help but relish the feel of her in his arms right then._

_But just as quickly, she had let him go and pushed up from the ground as a group of elves had come out to the training grounds._

_“What’s this? Still in need of practice?” a tall, dark-haired elf called out. Elanor smirked at him as Legolas got to his feet. “I hope you were able to finally overpower him.”_

_“I was, Fenris,” she said, dusting herself off. “And I am to go on the next patrol.”_

_“That is good news, indeed,” Fenris replied, now fully grinning as he studied the elleth._

_Legolas could not help as a twinge of jealousy flowed through him. He did not entirely like the way that Fenris was looking at Elanor, though he could not blame him. Ever since she had come of age, it seemed more than one elf had taken notice of her beauty and fiery spirit._

_“If you’ll excuse me, I must go deal with my father,” Elanor said. She looked over at Legolas. “Care to lend your aid?”_

_“Of course,” he said, starting to follow her back into the great hall of Mirkwood. He was sure that this would not be a pleasant conversation, but it was one they needed to have. And if anyone was to convince Ailmar that his only daughter was ready to join the guard, it would be him._

_They quickly made their way through the halls, stopping just outside the doors that led to the grouping of rooms where Elanor dwelled with her family. She stopped for a moment, staring at the doors as she steeled herself. Legolas reached out and gently touched her arm. She jumped slightly, then looked over and smiled briefly at him before turning back to the doors and strode in, her head held high. Her father was seated at a table in the front sitting room, looking over some documents, while her mother was seated in a nearby chair reading._

_He heard their entry and looked up, his eyebrows rising slightly at the sight of his daughter and the prince covered in dust and sweaty. Though this was nothing unusual. Typically, wherever one went, the other was sure to follow. As children, it usually involved the both of them ending up in some sort of mischief. Fraeya put down her book, but did not speak, a look of amusement appearing on her face._

_“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Ailmar asked dryly, returning to looking down at the parchments._

_“I am going on patrol,” Elanor said, a serious look on her face._

_“We have discussed this, Elanor,” her father replied, still not looking up._

_“I am ready. Prince Legolas has said so himself,” she said, her voice rising slightly. Ailmar looked up, studying the pair for a moment before pushing up out of his chair and walking towards them._

_“She speaks truth, my beloved. For 200 years now the Prince has been working with her,” Fraeya said calmly. Ailmar looked to his wife a moment before turning back to Elanor._

_“You think that you are ready? Do you know what you will face out there? This is not merely playing at war. You could be killed, Elanor,” he said sternly. Elanor only matched his scowl._

_“I know, Father. But it is my duty to help protect these lands,” she said._

_“It is your duty to continue your studies so that you can help **lead** these lands,” he replied just as sternly. _

_“And I am sure that facing combat and helping protect the borders will only aid me in providing advice in the future,” she nearly shouted, her frustration breaking through. “The king allows his son to be on the guard. Why cannot I join?!”_

_“I believe this can be resolved calmly,” Fraeya said, stepping in between the two. Elanor continued to glare at her father as her mother looked to Legolas. “Do you feel Elanor is truly prepared to join the guard and take on its duties?”_

_Legolas cleared his throat, attempting to keep his head held high, though part of him wished to run from the look Ailmar was sending him._

_“She is,” Legolas said, knowing Elanor would never forgive him if he did not speak up at some point. “And I will be there with her. Watching over her. Though I suspect that she will spend more time helping protect me. I do need someone of her caliber.”_

_Ailmar quietly studied the two._

_“See, my love? She is ready. It is time to let her make her own decisions and find her own way in this world,” Fraeya said. Ailmar looked at his wife and then sighed heavily shaking his head._

_“I see there is nothing I can say or do to persuade you otherwise,” he said, the defeat clear in his voice. Immediately, Elanor grinned as she shot over and embraced her father._

_“You will not regret this,” she said breathlessly as he looked down at her. A soft smile came over his face as he wrapped his arms around her. There was another twinge of jealousy in Legolas. Though Ailmar was stern and could be controlling, he still showed affection towards his daughter. Legolas was not so lucky with his own father._

_She then stepped over and hugged her mother, causing another, larger twinge of jealousy._

_“Do look after her. Though if she has progressed as you say, she may not need it,” Ailmar said, turning his attention to the prince._

_“I will, my lord,” Legolas said, returning his smile. “She will be safe with me.” Elanor then stepped back from her parents._

_“I should prepare,” she said, starting towards the corridor that led to her room._

_“We have time yet,” Legolas said, starting to follow her._

_“Can’t be too prepared,” she sang over her shoulder as he chuckled. “And I will need your help.”_

_“Of course…"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated Chapter 2! As you can see, definitely tweaked the timeline more. I had one made up but realized that I never really set when Elanor’s mother died. So, I set that and realized that she died after Elanor had begun training and joined the guard, so thought it would be good to include her in the flashbacks. And well, if Legolas was going to think of her as a second mother, I’d need her around a bit longer than I had initially thought. Expect more flashbacks of Legolas and Elanor growing up and with her mother in the next few chapters.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Elanor allowed the peacefulness of the forest to wash over her after depositing the hobbits with the others in the Fellowship following their short walk. She had left them starting into some of the stories she had shared while on their trek, though Pippin had paused from it long enough to ask if they could visit her again. She had obliged before taking her leave, finding she enjoyed their company.

It provided a much-needed break from the normal monotony of her days, though now it was time to return to routine. Sighing, she turned and began heading towards the house of healing. Her mentor Durothil would not like it if she were late or found skiving off.

Shortly after she had arrived, Elanor had taken up studying the healing arts, finding she needed something to fill her days. Haldir had asked if she would join the guard, but she found it difficult to even think about. She kept her sword and bow at the bottom of a chest in her room, hidden beneath clothing and blankets, unwilling to so much as touch them with the memories they conjured.

“I was wondering if I would see you today,” Durothil said, walking out of one of the many storerooms as she entered the house of healing. Elanor stopped and looked around, seeing all the beds empty. She was not surprised. While they always had elves out on patrol around the lands, it was not often that they had any grievous injuries in Lothlorien. Most were slight and the patients would quickly be sent on their way. “I presumed you might be otherwise preoccupied with our visitors.”

“I was just with them now, though felt that I should not let my studies wane,” she replied, walking over to him. He nodded and looked back into the storeroom. 

“I was just taking our provisions in stock. The ranger is skilled in healing and I assume that he will come by at some point to replenish their supplies,” he said. “You can help with that.” Elanor nodded and followed him into the room.

The two settled into a steady pace, Durothil calling out the names of various items from a parchment and Elanor searching to see if they had them and just how much as Durothil noted it down. They continued on like this for about an hour before they heard a throat clear from outside. 

Pausing in their work, Durothil walked out and Elanor followed, coming to a stop when she saw Aragorn and Legolas standing there. Her eyes locked with those of the Prince as Durothil greeted them warmly and began asking Aragorn what it was he needed. 

Elanor tried to pull her eyes from his but found she could not as the memories began rearing up again. For a moment she was not in the house of healing, but rather in a far-off clearing in Mirkwood. Then lurking in the halls of the king. Seeing him with Tauriel. An all-too-familiar pain filled her chest.

“Elanor!” Durothil said loudly. She jumped slightly and looked over at him, once again back in the present. “I was just saying that you could assist Lord Aragorn.” She nodded and turned back to Aragorn, offering a tense smile.

“Yes, of course. What is it you seek?” she asked, finally finding her voice. He stepped forward and held out a small piece of parchment as Durothil moved off to complete some other task. She briefly read over it before turning back into the storeroom, quickly browsing the shelves. 

Neither Legolas nor Aragorn spoke as she deftly located everything on the list and put it into a basket she grabbed from a shelf. She was aware of them watching her and could not help as she felt increasingly more on edge the longer the silence went on. 

“I thank you for this,” Aragorn finally said. Elanor glanced over at him, offering him a small smile.

“It is nothing. We do keep a rather large stock of things. Should we need them,” she replied. “Durothil certainly keeps me busy with gathering herbs when I am not needed to heal.” 

“I was not aware that you were interested in healing,” Legolas said, finally speaking. She did not reply at first, allowing his voice to flow over her. It had been so long. But she did not stop in her work, never meeting his eyes.

“I wanted to make myself useful,” she said, trying to keep the strain out of her voice. From the way she saw Legolas flinch slightly out of the corner of her, she assumed she had failed. She then grabbed the last item and held the basket to Aragorn. “Is there anything else that I can offer my aid with?” The man shook his head.

“I believe that will be enough,” he said, bowing slightly to her. He then turned and walked out of the room, though Legolas made no move to follow, instead remaining to stare at her. Elanor swallowed, noting that he was blocking her only means of escape. Her heart began racing as both fear and longing seemed to collide within her. She needed to get out of the room.

“Are you well?” he asked softly. Elanor busied herself with straightening her dress, still not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I am,” she said shortly.

“I had hoped that I could call on you while we are here,” he continued. Elanor looked up at him, her eyes wide. She should have expected this, but it still managed to take her by surprise. 

“I… I am rather busy,” she started. She then stopped speaking, snapping her mouth shut. Part of her wanted to prove to herself and Haldir that she was fine and could be around him. The other longed to hide at the very bottom of a deep hole. Since the second was not an option, she decided it best to get it out of the way. “I should be free this evening after supper.”

Legolas smiled, happy by the news.

“I will call at that time,” he replied. He took a step towards her, but then stopped, seeming a bit lost as what to do. Finally, he nodded his head before turning and walking out of the room and house of healing.

Elanor took a few more moments to gather herself before walking out, reminding herself that she was not the same elleth as she once was - she was capable of being around the prince and not running, losing control, or blurting out her heart’s deepest desire. She would sit with him for a short time this evening, then he would spend the rest of his time in Lothlorien preparing for the journey. And then he would be gone.

Elanor froze for a moment, her brow furrowing. Once again conflicting feelings of relief and worry swirled through her.

“You are familiar with the prince?” Durothil asked. Elanor turned, seeing him at the far side of the room preparing some mixture. 

“You know that I am from Mirkwood,” she replied, walking over to him. Not many knew the full extent of her relationship with Legolas, but it was a well-known fact that her father was an advisor to King Thranduil. 

“Yes, but like Lothlorien, it is a large place,” he said, a wry smile on his face. Elanor only continued to stare evenly at the older elf. 

“We are familiar,” she said, moving closer to see what he was doing. “Is that a tincture?”

“Yes. If you would grab those over there, you can help,” Durothil replied, sensing she no longer wished to discuss the matter. Elanor gathered the ingredients and soon was busy. He studied her a bit, noting that she seemed more focused than usual on what she was doing. While Elanor had launched herself into healing - and had become rather talented at it - there was something more intense about the way she was grinding the plants down today. 

Sighing, he returned to his own work. Whatever was between those two, it was none of his business, he decided.

~~~

Later that evening, Elanor sat in the great, open day room of the home, staring out into the branches of the trees. It was her favorite place in the house and she was often there when she wasn’t in the house of healing working with Durothil. In the beginning, to find peace and healing. And then Haldir would visit her. Or sometimes she would just sit and stare out, allowing her thoughts to wander. 

Tonight, however, was about remaining calm. She would need to find peace to meet with Legolas this night.

_Control. Breathe._

“My lady.”

Elanor turned, seeing a servant walk in, leading a nervous Legolas. 

“Thank you, Alora,” Elanor said as the servant bowed and then turned, leaving the two alone. 

Legolas stood a few moments, unsure of moving closer. He then finally walked over and sat in the chair next to Elanor.

“I apologize if my presence here upsets you,” he said. Elanor hid her shock as she looked down at the needlework in her hands. She didn’t particularly like the activity, nor was she good at it, but she wanted something to do with her hands.

“I am fine,” she said, surprised at how calm she sounded. Just under the surface, she could feel her nerves coursing through her veins. There was more silence. Part of Elanor mourned the easiness they once had. 

“Are you happy here, Elanor?” Legolas asked suddenly, his gaze unreadable. “Have you been happy here all these years?”

Elanor looked over at him, surprised by the question.

“I am content,” she said. “I have come to see Caras Galadhon as my home. I have been welcomed here.” He nodded, looking out over the city.

“It is beautiful. I can see how it brings you peace,” he said, glancing at her. “Though I had hoped that someday you would return. I know that your father misses you greatly.”

“We converse regularly. Through letters,” she said. “He has been to visit.” Legolas frowned.

“When?” he asked, not remembering when Ailmar had left Mirkwood for any amount of time.

“It must have been while you were away,” Elanor said, looking back out to the forest. “He has come when the King could spare him.”

“I see,” Legolas said. 

He looked over studying her. Today she seemed to be the picture of calm and tranquility, unlike their other meetings when she was tense. Almost scared. Though she was still guarded in her expressions, which was difficult for him to experience. 

“How is your father?” Elanor asked. “It has been a while since I’ve had news from Mirkwood.”

“He is as he usually is,” Legolas said, his brow furrowed, uncomfortable with the topic.

“It would seem there is still tension between you,” Elanor replied, finding it far easier to speak about Thranduil than herself.

“There will always be tension between us,” Legolas said.

“I do think if you would spend more time speaking with him, it would help,” Elanor said with a sigh. Legolas glanced over at her, a wry smile on his face.

“If it has not happened by now, Elanor, I highly doubt that we will ever get along,” he replied. “You are the only person who seems to have garnered any measure of warmth from him. You and your mother.”

“Perhaps because I listen to him more than I yell,” Elanor replied.

“You certainly enjoyed yelling at me, once upon a time,” Legolas said.

“You deserved it,” Elanor replied, found herself starting to smile and wondering just why it was she was so worried about meeting with him. This was surprisingly easy. “I do hope that you have improved your listening skills.”

“I have,” Legolas said. “I have changed in many ways.” Elanor raised an eyebrow.

“Finally realized there is more to life than brandishing a bow and sword?” she asked.

“Unfortunately, that is still a rather large part of my life,” he said with a heavy sigh. Elanor nodded slowly, looking back down to her needlework.

“I nearly forgot,” she said. “Being here within these walls, it is easy to not think of the coming darkness. But your presence has made it all too real.”

“We must all fight,” Legolas said. Though he glanced at her cautiously.

“Perhaps,” Elanor said, though she was now frowning. Something that did not go unnoticed by Legolas. She was suddenly tense again. “But for now, my place is here.”

“You would not return to Mirkwood?” he asked. She glanced at him and then back at her work. Her hands were beginning to shake slightly. 

“I do not see a need for now,” she said. “My family is here. I have companions. My father visits.” Legolas nodded slowly, his mind returning to the first time he saw her, when he had come upon her and Haldir. He had known the two were familiar with each other from her previous visits to Lothlorien. But he could not help as a twinge of pain entered his heart.

“I see you have grown closer with Haldir,” he said without thinking. Elanor glanced at him again, a curious look coming over her face.

“We are rather fond of each other. Always have been,” she said honestly. “He often visits with me.” Legolas nodded, falling silent. The easiness that had settled had now completely dissipated as Elanor shifted in her chair, glancing at him.

“I am happy then… that you have flourished here,” he said, attempting to regain the comfort they previously had.

He looked over at her, studying her profile as she looked down and stabbed at the needlework a few times before putting it aside. She then rose from her chair and glided across the room to the balcony.

“Elanor, I…” Legolas stopped as she turned to look at him over her shoulder.

“Yes?” she asked. He shook his head and looked away, seeming to struggle with his words. Elanor frowned as she turned back to the balcony. 

“I, I feel I must apologize… for that day,” he said, trying to force the words out of his mouth before he lost his nerve. Elanor did not respond, but he saw the tensing of her shoulders. “I-”

“I do not wish to speak of this,” she said tersely, cutting him off. “It is in the past.” Legolas frowned. 

“Why did you not tell me you were leaving?” he asked, standing and taking a few steps towards her. The longer she stood silent, the more he began to think he had said the wrong thing. Again. Why did his tongue develop a mind of its own?

“I am… I am tired,” she said finally, still not looking at him. “It has been a long day. Perhaps you should leave.”

“Of course,” he said. He turned and walked towards the door, stopping just before he crossed the threshold to look back at her once again. Elanor had bent over, her hand gently wiping across her face. With one last sigh, he turned and left.

~~~

Elanor poured more wine into her goblet after arriving in her room. She had just sent a servant for another carafe and knew that word would get back to Haldir, but she did not care at that moment. She needed it to calm her mind.

She felt as though she had spent nearly all day fighting off the memories, but found she had lost the energy to keep fighting...

~~~

_Elanor smiled as she turned a corner and saw Legolas up just a ways, hurrying down the corridor. She had barely seen him all day and hoped that he could finally spare some time with her. He always seemed busy of late, now that his father required him to step up and fulfill more duties as the prince._

_Elanor grinned as she saw him stop, happy she would finally catch up to him. But then the smile faded as she came to a stop, watching as Legolas bent down to whisper something to Tauriel, whom Elanor had not seen until now. She quickly slipped behind a pillar and watched on as they continued to speak, their heads close together._

_A sharp pain entered her chest as she watched them together. She did not have proof of anything - whatever Legolas felt for the elleth, he had not spoken of it to her. But she had noticed him pulling away from her. And Elanor was not sure what to do to bring him back. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She knew of one thing, but just the very thought of telling him the truth was enough to stricken her with fear._

_“Spying are we?” Fenris asked softly from behind Elanor, causing her to jump._

_“No,” she said immediately as he chuckled. He turned his grey eyes towards the couple down the hall._

_“They do seem to be rather friendly these days,” he commented._

_“I haven’t noticed,” Elanor said lightly, turning to watch them as she attempted to hide her expression from the older ellon. Fenris sighed._

_“When will you admit it?” he asked._

_“Admit what?” Elanor said, still not looking at him._

_“That you are in love with the Prince,” he continued. Elanor spun around, her cheeks now tinged in pink and her eyes wide._

_“I do not know what you speak of,” she retorted. Fenris only smiled as he reached out and tugged one of her curls._

_“It’s only obvious whenever you are around him,” he teased. Elanor frowned at him, attempting to keep the shock off her face. Was it really so obvious? She glanced back over at Legolas and Tauriel._

_“It is not as though he’s noticed,” she said glumly._

_“You don’t know that,” Fenris said, his voice softer. “Perhaps he is just as smitten with you and too afraid to mention his feelings as well.”_

_“I’m not afraid,” Elanor replied, looking back at him._

_“Then why have you not said anything to him?” he asked._

_“Because… because… I am not sure,” Elanor said, stuttering slightly. “And he does seem taken with Tauriel…” She did not see Fenris roll his eyes._

_“You want my advice? Just tell him,” he said, starting to walk away. “And stop spying. It’s unbecoming.” Elanor glared at him as he walked away._

_“I am not spying,” she hissed after him. He only smiled and winked at her before disappearing down the hall. Elanor huffed and turned back around, seeing Legolas staring at her, an odd look on his face. She quickly smiled and walked towards him, noting that Tauriel was hurrying off somewhere. “Legolas. I was just looking for you.”_

_“What was that?” he asked, motioning towards where Fenris had disappeared._

_“Nothing,” Elanor said quickly and a bit too brightly. Bother. She never was that good at lying to the prince. Though she could not help but feel as though Fenris’ words had bothered her more than she wanted to admit._

_“You were hiding behind that pillar with Fenris,” he said, looking down at her and a note of judgement in his voice._

_“I was not,” Elanor said, slightly indignant. She may be rash at times, but she did not skulk behind corners or pillars with ellon. “I was looking for you when Fenris surprised me.”_

_“Oh… whatever for?” he asked, suddenly seeming a bit nervous. Elanor thought it strange, though said nothing about it._

_“You have been busy all this day and week, and I miss you,” she said, smiling at him though her heart had begun to race slightly. She slid her arm through his. “I had hoped that we could take a walk through the forest together.” The prince glanced around, as though he were avoiding looking into her eyes._

_“I… I must be off. Father has something he wishes for me to take care of,” he said. He then pulled his arm away and quickly walked off, leaving Elanor alone in the corridor. She frowned as she watched him go._

_“Just the two of us for always, eh?” she murmured._

~~~

Elanor wrapped her dressing robe a bit more tightly around her as she leaned back on the settee on her balcony, sipping at her wine. Since sleep was likely to bring more nightmares, she had decided to instead stay awake. 

She had not stayed up like this in such a long time. Back then she spent nearly every night up with a bottle or more of wine, not willing to close her eyes and face the demons that lurked there in her mind unless she was thoroughly drunk first. It had taken a rather long time before Haldir had talked some sense into her. But at the moment, she felt that she did not have the energy to close her eyes and potentially revisit that horrid day over and over again. Or any of the others.

But still, she found her thoughts edging towards Legolas. He had begun to apologize, but she stopped him, already feeling the pain and guilt begin to overwhelm her. She could stand his presence no longer and sent him away.

She knew that he had been right to say those things to her that day. She had deserved them. But the way he had spoken to her tonight - there was warmth there - she did not deserve that. She did not deserve hope that they could be what they once were. And there most definitely was no hope that they could be more. She had long known this, but it seemed her heart was still fighting against her.

“Control,” she murmured to herself, reminding her heart that it was easier to shut out love than to risk getting hurt.

But yet, so many things left unsaid. She furrowed her brow, considering this. Perhaps that was why he had started to apologize. He needed closure so that he could move forward with a clear conscience. Though she then thought of all the things that she had left unsaid as well.

Fenris had often teased her about her affections for the prince and try as she might, after some time had passed, she could no longer deny them herself. It was yet another reason why his words that day had cut her like a dagger. But at the same time, she had to admit that far too much time had gone by. Even if they could make amends, every time she looked at Legolas, she saw only her own short fallings. Any hope of a love between them had long ago died. 

Sighing, she brought the goblet to her lips. That did seem like him. But after this evening, she wasn’t so sure that she was ready to go down that path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated Chapter 3! I re-wrote the meeting between Elanor and Legolas. It’s primarily what I had originally written in version 1 – which I liked more than version 2 – but obviously had to change some things to make it fit with this version. And again, mentions of the fact that Elanor and Haldir met long before she moves to Lothlorien. Oh, and one more note – I changed the name of her mentor. When I originally called him Cirdan, I forgot there was another elf by that name in the story and didn’t want there to be any confusion. So, his name is now Durothil, though he doesn’t really play all that big a part in the overall story.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next afternoon, Elanor was back in the day room, overseeing the food that the servants were bringing in. While she had a slight headache from the wine and lack of sleep, she had woken up remembering her promise to the hobbits to visit and sent out a servant to invite them to an afternoon meal.

Seeing that everything was in place, she walked out onto the balcony, breathing in the clear air and looking out among the branches. She understood why her mother had loved this place, why it had always held a special place in her heart.

There were so many stories of her mother from here. Of her grandparents and their fabled love. While Mirkwood was her home, Lothlorien had always held a piece of her soul.

“Lady Elanor!”

She turned and walked back into the room, seeing Alora enter with the four hobbits, all of them looking around the room in awe before their eyes fell on the table laden with food.

“Master hobbits,” she said warmly, bending her head towards them. “I hope that you are well this day.”

“Most certainly,” Sam said shyly.

“Though, ehm,” Merry started.

“We’re a bit bored, if I might be honest,” Pippin said, interrupting Merry, who glared at him along with Sam. Frodo only stood silently, studying the large room.

“Don’t offend her,” Merry whispered. Elanor chuckled softly.

“It is quite alright,” she said. “Shall I entertain you, then?” She motioned to the table. “Please… sit.”

The four hobbits quickly descended upon the table and food as Elanor glided over to another table and poured herself a cup of tea.

“Really, thank you, Lady Elanor,” Pippin said, his mouth already full.

“This is amazing,” Merry added. 

“It is my pleasure,” Elanor said, truly believing it. She then walked over and sat at the table, looking around at the hobbits. In just a short time, she could already feel herself developing a fondness for them, which she knew would only make it harder when they left. So, she endeavored to make their stay as enjoyable as possible.

“I find it hard wanting to leave here,” Pippin said, looking around the room and then out the large windows at the trees.

“Yes, my mother found it difficult. She would often come back to visit after she had married my father,” Elanor said. “Entertained me as a child with stories of this place… stories of her parents. Then I too fell in love with it. She would bring me with her to visit.” A soft smile came over her face.

“Are they here?” Merry asked eagerly. “Your grandparents and mother?”

“Unfortunately, they are no longer on this plane,” Elanor said. “My grandparents died when my mother was just a babe. Lady Galadriel took her in and raised her.”

“I am so sorry, my lady,” Pippin said, shooting a look towards Merry.

“It is fine, Master Pippin. I never knew them. But there are many tales of their great love. I have heard them so often I sometimes feel as though I truly knew them,” Elanor said. There was a pinch of pain, but she pushed it aside. “You see… my grandmother was mortal. A wise woman. And my grandfather was the brother of Lady Galadriel.”

All the hobbits stopped eating, their mouths dropping open. They glanced at each and then back at her. Even Frodo seemed to take interest in the story. 

“How did they meet?” Merry asked. “Your grandparents.”

“The story as it was told to me is that one day, my grandfather was traveling when he stopped by the lake Aeulin to cool himself and allow his horse something to drink. As he bent down to look into the lake’s waters, he saw a reflection of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen,” she said, still smiling. “My grandmother had been nearby gathering herbs when she heard him speak to his horse and went to see who it was. She said that it was the most enchanting voice that she had ever heard…”

“And then?” Merry asked eagerly. Elanor chuckled at him.

“As soon as his eyes fell upon my grandmother’s reflection, he fell deeply in love with her and knew that there would be no other for him,” she continued. “And it is said that it was the same for my grandmother.”

“But… she was mortal,” Pippin said.

“Yes… but so in love were they that it did not matter. My grandfather could not marry at the time, but he swore that he would never take an elven bride to my grandmother. They had many happy years together,” she said. “My mother was a result of this love.”

“Tell us about your mother,” Merry asked. All four hobbits held eager looks upon their faces, waiting for her to speak. Elanor chuckled, finding she could deny them nothing.

“If you don’t mind, my lady,” Sam asked, shooting a look towards Merry and Pippin that clearly read to mind their manners.

“My mother’s name was Fraeya and she was known for her wisdom and her beautiful singing voice,” Elanor said. “Sometimes I swear that I saw flowers bloom when she sang. Every night she would sing me to sleep-”

“Do you know any of them? Sing for us!” Merry nearly shouted. Pippin slapped him on the arm. Elanor smiled.

“I fear that I did not inherit my mother’s gift, but I can try,” she replied. She took a deep breath and then began to softly sing one of her favorite songs that her mother would sing to her about the autumn leaves of gold in Lothlorien.

Her eyes slid closed as she lost herself in the memory of her mother. She could almost feel her hand smoothing her hair from her face as she lay in bed, staring up at her. Her soft smile and bright eyes. 

When she finished the song, it took a few moments for her to come back to the room where she was sitting with the hobbits.

“That was beautiful,” Pippin whispered. A faint blush came to Elanor’s cheeks. 

“I thank you,” she said. “Though I wish you could have heard her sing it. She was far more talented than I.”

“How did your parents meet?” Sam asked. “I heard the others… that you are from Mirkwood. How did you end up there?”

“Well, my mother would at times travel to Imladris to speak on Lady Galadriel’s behalf,” Elanor said. “One time, there was a new emissary from the Green Wood-”

“Your father,” Merry said quickly. Elanor chuckled and nodded.

“Yes, my father. Ailmar. It was his first trip on behalf of King Thranduil. He had just been appointed and was eager to make his mark. But as soon as he arrived and laid eyes on my mother, he very quickly forgot just what it was that he was meant to do.”

“She must have been rather beautiful,” Pippin said. Elanor nodded.

“Yes, she was very fair. But he said that it was her laughter and smile that bewitched him,” she said. “And her wit. He told me that he knew not how, but he was determined to find a way to be with her.”

“But how? If he lived in Mirkwood and she was from Lothlorien?” Sam asked. Elanor looked over at him.

“He wrote her letters,” she said. “For years while they dwelled apart, he would write her letters filled with poetry and… just about everything he could think of. My mother told me that she first fell in love with his words. And then realized that she could not stand to spend another day apart. She set off for Mirkwood and they were married.”

“So, you must know Legolas then,” Merry said. “He’s the son of the king, is he not?” 

“Yes, he is. We… grew up together,” she said, her voice fading off. Elanor flinched slightly as she looked down at her cup. Of course, they would ask about him. She closed her eyes briefly, going back...

~~~

_“Legolas! Legolas! Where are you!?” Elanor shouted as she ran into the courtyard. When she did not see her favorite playmate, she stomped her foot and started searching the flowers and bushes._

_From somewhere, she heard a soft giggle. But try as she might, she could not seem to find where the prince was hiding._

_“It’s not funny, Legolas!” she said loudly, starting to get impatient. When they had agreed to sneak out of their lessons to play, this is not what she had in mind._

_There was a rustle from her right and Elanor turned, seeing Legolas’ feet under the bush. Guessing what he was about to do, the small girl waited until he jumped out, but rather than scaring or knocking her over, she leapt forward and tackled him to the ground._

_“I’ve found you!” she shouted with a giggle. The small boy’s face scrunched up into a scowl._

_“I was supposed to scare you,” he retorted, trying to push her off._

_“Then you mustn’t laugh when you’re hiding,” Elanor replied, her voice haughty._

_Soon, the two small elves were rolling on the ground, tussling._

_“But you’re an elleth! You’re supposed to be scared!” Legolas shouted._

_“I scare you more than you scare me!” Elanor retorted._

_“What’s this?”_

_Both of them quickly jumped to their feet, Legolas bowing as Elanor fell into a wobbly curtsy._

_“We were just playing, Ada,” Legolas said, keeping his eyes to the ground. Thranduil walked slowly towards them, his appraising eye catching every smudge of dirt on his son’s clothing, every small tear._

_“Aren’t you supposed to be with your tutors?” Thranduil asked._

_“It’s my fault, my lord,” Elanor said, looking up at him with wide, blue eyes. “I wanted to play, so I suggested we sneak out. Legolas told me that we mustn’t, but I did anyway.”_

_Thranduil’s frown softened slightly as he looked at the young girl, her curls wild and a smudge of dirt on her cheek._

_“As admirable as your confession is, Elanor, Legolas knows better than to sneak out of his lessons,” Thranduil said, his gaze returning to his son. “He knows that as the Prince of Mirkwood, he must take his studies seriously.” Legolas frowned as he kept his eyes down, tears starting to fill his eyes._

_“Oh, but he does, my lord,” Elanor said. “Very seriously.”_

_A small flint of a smile crossed his face, though he attempted to hide it. He stared at the two small children a few moments longer._

_“Well then, I suppose I can allow you to play a bit longer. But then it’s back to the tutors. Both of you,” Thranduil said. Elanor curtseyed again._

_“Yes, of course, my lord,” she said. He then turned and strode out of the courtyard as Elanor turned to Legolas, grinning. “We can play longer!”_

_“Why did you do that?” Legolas said, scowling at her. “You didn’t need to tell him it was your fault.” Elanor stared at him in confusion._

_“I was only trying to help,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes. “And I **was** the one who asked you to sneak out…” _

_“I don’t need help from an elleth!” Legolas shouted. Elanor’s bottom lip began to quiver as a fat tear slid down her cheek._

_“Come now, Legolas. Is that how one speaks to their friend?” a gentle voice said. Both looked over and Elanor then ran across the courtyard, throwing her arms around her mother, who bent down to comfort her. She looked over at Legolas, though her eyes held only warmth and kindness. Legolas stuck his lower lip out._

_“But it’s true!” he said. “Ella only made it worse!”_

_“Surely not. I will speak to the king. He was once an elfling too, you know. I’m sure he understands,” she said, rubbing her hand up and down Elanor’s back. Legolas’ eyes widened._

_“He was?” he asked in awe. Fraeya chuckled and nodded._

_“Oh, yes. He was,” she said, straightening up and then walking over to a bench where she sat. Elanor quickly went with her, crawling up next to her. Fraeya looked over at Legolas expectantly and soon he was seated on the bench on her other side, her arms now around both children. “Do you know how much trouble your Ada used to get into…”_

~~~

“My lady…”

Elanor turned, watching as Haldir walked up to her and bowed slightly then turned to look at the hobbits. After they had finished their meal, Elanor had suggested a walk, finding the day room suddenly too stifling. Sam and Frodo had gone back to their lodgings to rest, but Merry and Pippin were most eager to join her.

“How are you this day, master hobbits?” he asked.

“Rather well, thank you,” Pippin replied. 

“More than well. Have you heard Lady Elanor sing?” Merry asked, his eyes alight with mischief. Haldir glanced at Elanor, a faint smile on his face.

“How very lucky for you if you have. She rarely grants anyone an audience,” he replied. Elanor narrowed her eyes slightly so that only Haldir could notice. She knew that he was teasing her.

“You hear that, Pippin,” Merry said cheerfully. The two then launched into a bright jig, singing a jaunty tune. Elanor could not help but laugh at their antics. She looked over at Haldir, smiling at him as the two shared a look. He stepped over to her and bent down to her ear.

“It seems you have gained two new admirers,” he said softly.

“Please, Haldir,” she replied with a smile. 

The two hobbits stopped dancing and looked up at the couple. Elanor bent down towards them.

“Thank you for that beautiful jig,” she said before placing a kiss on the top of both of their heads. The hobbits grinned brightly up at them.

“I believe that Masters Frodo and Samwise are looking for you,” Haldir said as Elanor straightened.

“Thank you so much for today, Lady Elanor,” Pippin said, bobbing into a quick bow. Merry followed suit and the two scampered off.

“Were they really?” Elanor asked, turning to face him. “Or were you seeking to get me to yourself so that you could tempt me to sing for you.”

“I spoke the truth,” Haldir said lightly. 

“Are you ready to leave?” she asked. 

“We will set out shortly, but plan to return before the fellowship leaves,” he said. He was silent a bit, looking to the ground before meeting her eyes, a look of concern in the grey depths of his own. “Will you be well?”

Elanor reached out and touched his arm, smiling tensely.

“Do not worry for me, dear Haldir,” she said softly. “I shall be well.”

“If I may speak openly… please try to make amends with the prince before they leave,” he said, a solemn look on his face. A flicker of pain came across Elanor’s face, though she settled into a strained smile. 

“I will do my best,” she said softly. Haldir smiled in return and then reached for her hand, lifting to his lips. “Be safe, Haldir.”

“Never fear, Elanor. I shall return to you,” he vowed before releasing her hand and turning away. Elanor straightened her back and turned, heading back to her home. 

She knew that he would expect her to speak more with Legolas, but she had only promised she would try.

~~~

Legolas stepped into the village and stopped, seeing Elanor standing with the hobbits and Haldir, smiling down at them as they showed her some sort of jig. He stood still, watching as the two elves leaned towards each other, sharing a few words and a look. He felt his heart clench in pain watching how they looked at each other.

The hobbits finished their dance and Elanor bent down and kissed them on their heads before they ran off. Haldir then stepped closer to her and Legolas looked away, unable to keep watching. It seemed in the time she had been there, her bond with the marchwarden had only grown. There was an affection between the two that reminded him so much of what he used to have with her. 

An affection that he missed every moment of the last 100 years. When Legolas looked back, Elanor was walking towards her home while Haldir was walking towards him. Legolas straightened up his back and nodded towards him.

“I expect you are prepared to leave,” Legolas said, finding an unexpected antagonism running through him. It both shocked and disappointed him. He had no claim on Elanor. Had never spoken to her of his feelings towards her. What’s more, what friendship they had had ended 100 years ago. He had no right to feel any sort of jealousy.

“We are,” Haldir said. “I trust that your company is well taken care of in the meantime?”

“We are,” Legolas replied. He couldn’t help as he looked over, seeing Elanor’s hair shine through the trees.

“You should speak to her,” Haldir said, gaining Legolas’ attention. The prince looked over at him, showing no emotion, though inside he was a perfect miasma of feelings. The marchwarden appeared calm, but just in his eyes there was a deep concern lying there. “She has… been through so much over the years.”

“I can see that she is much changed,” Legolas managed to say. “And I did try to speak to her, but she does not wish to speak to me.”

Haldir sighed heavily.

“She has changed, yes,” Haldir said, now looking through the trees as though he was attempting to find her. “But I feel that somewhere in her heart, she is still very much the same.” Legolas watched as a wistful look came over his face. Once again, the green tendrils of jealousy wound themselves around his heart.

What did this marchwarden know of Elanor? The light that used to shine brightly in her eyes. The laughter that would bubble out and was so healing that he swore it could cure any ail or injury. The fierce loyalty she held for those that were dear to her. The fire that burned within her.

Legolas looked away, closing his eyes briefly as all that he once felt for her - felt for her still - nearly overwhelmed him. And he once again reminded himself that Haldir had known her for nearly as long as he had.

“She is strong and stubborn,” Haldir continued, drawing Legolas to look back at him. The marchwarden was now staring at him. “It is that strength that got her through very dark days. But I fear that if you two do not make amends, that same darkness may seek to claim her again. And I cannot bear to see her return to those days.” 

He then inclined his head towards the prince and walked off. Legolas stood still a bit longer, not expecting Haldir to speak so openly to him. But it conjured up more guilt for the words that Legolas had said to her all those years ago. He knew that it had been his fault that she had fallen into shadow. Had struggled.

And he would never forgive himself if he allowed her to fall into such darkness again. 

~~~

That night, Elanor found herself walking through the trees, unable to sleep. The rest of the city was quiet, likely having long gone to bed. Haldir and his company and long ago left and she found that she wished he were here. 

While she had enjoyed her day with the hobbits, she could not help but miss her mother and wish that she was still here. Surely, she would know what to say to her in this moment. 

Fate had brought her and Legolas together and yet she still hesitated to seek him out. To speak with him. 

She stopped and dropped down to sit on a log, drawing her shawl around her as she looked up, barely seeing the night sky through the branches of the trees. She closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the forest around her. The rustling of the leaves in the breeze. The movement of nighttime creatures. She breathed deeply, willing the forest to help calm her mind and her soul.

She then heard the soft footfalls of someone else. She opened her eyes and looked around, seeing Legolas as he paused at the edge of the clearing.

“My apologies… I did not realize it was you,” he said softly. Elanor stared at him a few moments before standing and speaking. 

“It is quite fine,” she said, feeling as though her heart would burst out of her chest. The two regarded each other a few more moments before he stepped forward towards her. 

“I wish to apologize if my presence here brings you distress,” he said, his blue eyes brimming with guilt. Elanor regarded him a few moments.

“It is not you, but rather the memories that you bring with you,” she replied softly. “Memories that I had hoped were laid to rest long ago.”

The two stood in silence, watching the other, but neither willing to speak. Legolas did not know where he should start. Part of him wanted to declare his feelings for her. Tell her everything that he had kept hidden for centuries. But then he remembered how she had acted with Haldir in the market. He was not sure that his heart would be able to handle hearing that she had sworn her heart to him.

Elanor found herself stricken by the memories. Though both happy and heartbreaking. She had so very many with Legolas. But it was the dark ones - the ones that had nearly torn her soul to shreds that were taking the forefront of her mind.

Fenris’ face that day. 

She closed her eyes, feeling the tears begin to well up and slide down her cheeks.

“My dear, Elanor. There are no words that can express how deeply agonized I am over what I did,” Legolas breathed. Elanor opened her eyes, gasped slightly when she saw that he was standing just before her. He reached out as though to touch her, but stopped, dropping his arms at his sides. “What I would give to go back to that day. To take back what I said.” 

“I too wish that I could go back to that day. Perhaps then Fenris would still be here,” Elanor whispered. She could not help as all the dark feelings from before rolled over her. She was worthless. Reckless. There was blood on her hands and she would never be rid of it. Every time she looked at Legolas, it was a fresh reminder of the terrible sin that she had committed.

“It was not your fault, Elanor,” Legolas said. 

“It was,” she said. She took a step back from him. “And there is nothing I can do to make amends for what I have done.” 

She quickly turned from him, striding back to her home as she allowed the tears to flow. 

Legolas moved to follow, but then stopped. He had done this. Caused her such pain. All he had wanted was to try and make amends for how he had hurt her and all he had managed was to make it worse. Not to mention, it would seem that she still held affection towards Fenris. Legolas could not help as a small bit of the anger that he had felt that day pulsed through him. But just as suddenly, it was washed away by shame. It was because of his jealousy that he had lashed out at her, when she had not been at fault. And he could not even blame it on the foolishness of youth.

Perhaps Haldir was wrong. Perhaps his presence would only make it worse. Sighing, Legolas turned and made his way back to the Fellowship. 

He had inflicted enough sorrow this night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated Chapter 4! I had fun with that flashback, actually. There is one that I wrote for version 1 that I ended up putting in this one in a later chapter (Chapter 7, which I’m currently writing as it’s an add-in) that made me think I need more from when they’re kids. And yes, I changed the meeting with Merry and Pippin. I realized I had written a lot of run-ins in the woods and wanted to make some of it more intentional. There was a scene in version 1 where Elanor invited all the hobbits over, so I figured I would change this chapter to reflect that. And well, included the story of how her parents met – which was in neither version.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Elanor could not help but smile as Haldir walked into the day room, her spirits lightened as his presence. It had been a long, tense week without his presence to calm her, though the hobbits most certainly helped to keep her distracted. 

And while she had promised that she would try, Elanor had found herself avoiding Legolas the entire time that Haldir had been gone, though it wasn’t as though the Prince had sought her out either.

Forgoing all decorum, Elanor rushed over to meet him, collapsing in his arms as soon as he had crossed the threshold into the large, open room.

“What would your aunt say if she saw you?” Haldir quipped.

“She would likely say that I remind her much of my mother,” Elanor said, burying her face in his tunic and breathing deeply of his warm, familiar scent. He smelled of the forest, which always helped to ease her worries and just about any ail she had suffered from.

“Surely the last week without me has not been so eventful as to warrant this reaction,” he said, smiling slightly. “You act as though you have not seen me in many years.”

“At times it felt as though you would never return,” Elanor lamented, causing the normally stoic elf to stare down at her in suspicion. Elanor was known to be playful from time to time, but hardly ever this dramatic. Though it did not take him long to guess where this was coming from.

“You did not speak to the Prince, did you?” Haldir stated, pushing her away slightly as he looked down into her eyes, the disappointment clear in his voice. Elanor frowned.

“I did,” she said. Haldir continued to stare until she finally crumbled. “Well, once. And not for very long. But I promised I would try, and I did.” Haldir sighed heavily.

“That is not-”

“Oh, save your tongue, Haldir,” Elanor said, turning away from him. He looked around the room, noting the half full carafe of wine on the table and her empty goblet.

“Elanor,” he said softly. She did not respond, only walked over to the balcony and stepped out onto it, wrapping her arms around herself. “You must face this.”

“I thought I had,” she said dryly. 

“We both know that you have not, only pushed it aside under the guise of dealing with it,” he replied, walking over to the wine and looking down at it. “Shall I check with the servants? See just how you have been _handling things_ while I’ve been away?” Elanor turned to look at him, her blue eyes alight with fire. “Finally, a reaction I have sought.”

“Anger? You wish to anger me?” Elanor asked with a derisive snort. “Whatever for, Haldir?”

“I wish to see some sort of feeling in you besides self-pity and self-loathing,” he replied. “It does not suit you, my lady.” 

“You do not wish to see me wallow in self-pity and self-loathing? Then why do you insist that I speak to him for that is all it will conjure?” she hissed, striding up to him as she narrowed her eyes.

Yes, she knew that she needed to speak to Legolas at some point to try and bury the past, but she did not need Haldir pushing her like this. She was over 2,000 years old and could make decisions for herself, could she not?

“We both know that you must speak with him to finally move from your past,” Haldir said calmly.

“I have dealt with my past!” Elanor shouted.

“No, you have not! And I am tired of seeing the cloud of it hang over you!” Haldir replied, finally raising his voice. Elanor’s eyes widened as she took a step back. It was rare that the normally calm and stable marchwarden raised his voice to her. “Yes, you have made great improvement. And I’ve come to believe that you are truly happy here, but just mentioning him takes you back to that dark edge, and I worry that this time you will tumble over!

“What’s more, we both know that there is still a part of you that clings to your guilt. And a part of you that you will not allow to fully open because you do not think that you deserve it,” Haldir continued. “I’ve nearly run out of ways to try and show you that you do, so this is my final resort, Elanor!”

Elanor said nothing, just stared at him in shock as he turned away from her, pacing in a small circle. He then stopped, seeming to have regained control of his emotions.

“I do not wish to lose you to a prison of your own making, Elanor,” he said tenderly. “I only wish for you to allow yourself to be truly, wholly, and completely healed and happy.”

Elanor swallowed, knowing just of which he was talking. She looked away a moment, feeling the familiar pain starting up in her heart. More guilt. Haldir believed that she deserved to be whole again someday, but she did not. Why should she move forward in life and love when Fenris could not? 

“You have not lost me,” she finally said, her voice shaking slightly. “Nor will you. But do not push me to face things that I am not yet ready to face, or you might.”

“But you must, Elanor,” Haldir insisted. “You may not see it, but you do deserve to be happy again.”

The two silently regarded each other. Elanor’s eyes held a distant pain while Haldir’s were full of determination. He took a tentative step towards her.

“You are strong enough, but you must forgive yourself,” he said. “This is not about strength, it is about fear. You no longer have to be afraid… of the past, of pain, of…” He stopped speaking, not saying the words, though Elanor knew what he meant. She stared at him, unblinking, before finally tearing her eyes away.

Once again, she was back to that day. Could hear his voice in her head.

_How could you be so reckless!?_

_It is because of you that Fenris is dead!_

She opened her eyes, a tear sliding down her cheek. She breathed heavily, feeling as though her heart would collapse upon itself. She reached up and gripped the front of her gown, struggling to get air into her lungs. 

Immediately, Haldir was at her side, pulling her towards him.

“I cannot,” she whispered. “I cannot…”

“You can.”

Elanor pushed him away from her, her eyes much brighter from her tears.

“It nearly killed me before, opening up my heart, Haldir. I refuse to go through it again,” she said. She looked down at her hands. “Besides, I do not deserve it. These hands have his blood on them.” Haldir took her hands and shook her, causing her to look up at him.

“They do not. You must move past these demons,” he said. “Face the Prince and speak your mind. Make your peace.”

“He is the one conjuring the demons!”

“No, that is you! And you will not defeat them until you’ve made your peace with him!” Haldir urged desperately. “Make your peace, my lady. Finally, _be_ at peace.”

She shook her head, trying to pull her hands from his, but Haldir held her tightly. 

“You know that I speak truth-”

“It sounds far closer to folly to me,” she retorted.

“Why must you be so childish, Elanor?” Haldir chided. She looked up at him, her pain so clear in her eyes. “I know what this does to you, but you must-”

“If you know what it does to me, then why must you continue to do this?” she asked, finally yanking herself out of his grasp. “I was doing well. And now… if I am teetering on the edge of the precipice, then you are the one who brought me there!” 

Haldir did not speak for a few moments. He knew that he was pushing her far too close than he was comfortable with. But he also knew that it was the only way for Elanor to truly be free. And he was unsure if this opportunity to face Legolas would come again, considering the task he had taken up.

But she most certainly was stubborn, choosing to continue to ignore and avoid rather than confront - something that very much was unlike the old Elanor. And currently was speaking from a place of pain. Lashing out. One of the things that had always transfixed Haldir about Elanor was her inability to fully hide her feelings. And how deeply she felt things.

Regardless, it was evident that only Elanor could make the decision to confront the prince for herself. Haldir could push her all he wanted, but she was headstrong. For now, there was no more he could say or do, that was clear, unless he wished to upset her further.

“I can see that I’ve distressed you. I will take my leave,” he said formally, bowing to her before turning to leave.

“Haldir.”

He stopped, turning to look at her once again. In that moment, she completely transformed. Gone was the anger and frustration. In its place was once again the broken elleth who had arrived at Lothlorien 100 years, a lost look in her blue eyes. Elanor tried to speak a few times, but then stopped, looking away from him as her hand came to her mouth. He knew that she needed to learn to face her fears on her own. That he should leave her. But found he could not. 

Instead, he walked over and pulled her back into his arms once again. He had long made peace with the fact that he would never gain her affection - not in the way that he truly wished. But he decided that regardless, he would stay by her side. For to be parted from Elanor was far more painful than the knowledge that she would never love him in the way he loved her.

“You can do this, Elanor,” he whispered into her hair. “You have strength enough.”

She did not reply, just continued to hold onto him as though her life depended on it. 

“You have strength enough…”

~~~

_Haldir sighed as he continued walking, eager to get to his home so that he could wash up and then eat his fill. It had been a rather long patrol this time, though if he were to progress quickly through the ranks he would need to put in the work. All he wanted in that moment was his mother’s cooking - even if it came along with ribbing from his brothers._

_Suddenly, he stopped, his keen ears hearing the sounds of someone running, then grunting as they hit something hard. He turned and looked into the trees, immediately on alert. They were well into the lands of Lothlorien but still a far way from the city, so one could never be too sure. He quickly pulled out an arrow and loaded it into his bow, walking slowly and quietly in the direction of the noise. After some time, he came upon a clearing and lowered his bow, a smile filling his face._

_“What has that tree done to earn such ire,” he called out._

_Elanor stopped, her eyes wide and cheeks reddening slightly at being caught. He always found it entertaining how easy it was to rile up the elleth. Though standing here now, seeing her curly hair falling from her braid and her sleeves rolled up, breathing heavily from exertion, he couldn’t help but find her enchanting. He was almost regretting that he had stopped her from training, for Elanor fighting was a thing to behold._

_“Nothing,” she said, quickly sheathing her sword and walking over to where she had put down her bow and quiver. Haldir frowned slightly, sensing that she was upset._

_“Is something the matter?” he asked._

_“Nothing that concerns you,” Elanor retorted. His frown deepened. Something most definitely had happened, and he had one clear guess as to whom it involved._

_“What has the Prince done this time?” he asked with a sigh. Elanor froze, her eyebrows raised in shock._

_“Nothing,” she said again. Haldir only stared at her. Finally, Elanor sighed and walked over to him, the two starting to make their way back to the trail together. “He made Tauriel the captain of the guard. Well, technically she was named so by King Thranduil, but we both know who put her name in his ear.”_

_Haldir could not help but chuckle._

_“This is no laughing matter! I’ve been training since I was 300! On the guard for over 200 years now. I’m far older and more experienced. I was the obvious choice outside Legolas himself,” she continued to grumble._

_“I thought you were convinced it would be Fenris,” Haldir said lightheartedly._

_“Well, yes, I suppose. If only it were. That I could stomach. But no, it’s Tauriel,” she said._

_“Pray tell, why are you so sour about Tauriel?” Haldir asked. Elanor’s cheeks reddened further. Haldir just shook his head. He had long known that Elanor held feelings for the prince, even if she loathed to admit it out loud._

_Haldir stopped, looking down at her. Elanor stopped as well, still glaring in front of her. She had always been lively, something that didn’t seem to fade even as she aged. But since her mother died a bit over 700 years ago, there was an underlying anger that had not been there before. Perhaps not anger, more like frustration. And it had only intensified the last few centuries._

_“He’s pulling away from me, Haldir. I can feel it. Over the last 100 years or so. And he swore that it would always be the two of us together,” she said, turning to look at him, her eyes bright with tears. “He swore to me! That day that Amil died…”_

_Haldir reached out and gently brushed away one of the tears falling down her cheek. Though she was only 500 years younger than him, at times he felt she was much younger. He blamed it on the fact that her family had always kept her rather sheltered within the walls of the King’s halls while he had traveled as much as he could across Middle Earth with his brothers. Elanor only knew Mirkwood and Lothlorien._

_But developing romantic feelings for someone who clearly did not have them for you was something he could relate to._

_“You do not know this to be true, Elanor. Have you spoken to him?” he asked. She looked away, her frown deepening. The expression told him all he needed to know. “I have told you this before. You should speak to him.”_

_“How can I when he spends all his time doing tasks for his father or with, with… her,” Elanor spat. “I… sometimes I feel as though he is ripping my heart out with his own two hands.” She took a shuddery breath and the tears only increased._

_Haldir reached out and pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her as she began to softly sob against his chest._

_“Speak to him, Elanor. It’s the only way you will find the truth,” he said. “You must fight your fear.”_

_“But what if he says…” she didn’t finish the sentence. Haldir stepped back and lifted her chin gently so that she was looking into his eyes._

_“You will always have Lothlorien,” he said softly. He wanted to add, “and me,” but felt it best not to. Elanor sniffed slightly, nodding her head as she wiped away her tears._

_“Yes, of course,” she said, turning and starting down the path again. “Will you join me for dinner?”_

_“How about you join my family this evening?” he asked. Elanor stopped and looked back at him, grinning._

_“Sounds wonderful.”_

~~~

It had been a week since their encounter in the woods and Legolas had yet to see Elanor. It seemed that she had taken to remaining in her home, only venturing out to the house of healing, though he dared not disturb her there while she worked.

He should not have been surprised; this he knew. Considering their last interaction. It would seem that Elanor was just as affected by what happened that day as he was. He had spent every day of the last 100 years regretting every word. Every action. 

He had wanted to tell her the truth. That he had fallen for her. Had even spent years talking to Tauriel, asking her the best ways to woo. But yet, everything he had tried failed. He should have been honest. Just told her. In all the years they knew each other - and they had grown up together - Elanor had been nothing but open and honest with him. And he with her. Except for this. 

Even now, as he sat in the woods, looking around at the quiet, peaceful night, he could not cast aside the memories of that day. It was seared in his mind and heart.

~~~

_“How could you be so foolish!” he shouted, his eyes alight with anger. He knew that he should temper himself, but at that moment it was as though he had lost control. Anger, grief, fear all tumbled and fought for dominance._

_He could have lost her that day. He knew that there would come a time when Elanor’s rashness would cause her to stumble. And for a moment, he thought today would be that day. If it had not been for Fenris, it would have been her dead body lying on the ground. Frustration then welled up - he had vowed to protect her and he had not._

_Even now, he could not look at her for fear he would break down. So instead, he continued to pace as she stood silently a few feet away._

_“A good warrior follows orders!” he continued shouting, not considering his words before they poured out of his mouth. For a moment, he could not help but wonder why he was saying these things to her - he should be shouting them at himself. “How can I trust you when you will not follow me!”_

_“If you would let me speak-”_

_“It is because of you that Fenris is dead!” Legolas shouted, finally turning to face her._

_Though as soon as he did, he wished he could take everything back - that he had never uttered a single word - for he could see fully the damage he had done. The fire that usually lit up her eyes when they argued had grown dim. Her skin had grown deathly pale beneath the remnants of the battle that coated her cheeks._

_“Elanor... I…”_

_She backed away from him, deep sorrow etched in her face as she shook her head quickly. She began to gasp softly as tears rapidly filled her eyes. Shame flooded through Legolas as he watched her shatter apart before him._

_“I know what I have done,” Elanor said softly, turning on her heels and starting towards the door._

_“Elanor-”_

_“No,” she said, coming to a stop and looking at him over her shoulder, a glimmer of her former self. “Do not follow me. My heart and soul can handle no more.” He could see the hurt, the grief, the pain in the blue depths of her eyes._

_“I-”_

_But she was already gone. Legolas sighed and shook his head. He had to make this right. He had not truly been angry with her, more so with himself. He had been leading the patrol. More than that, Elanor was more dear to him than his own life and when the time came, he had been unable to act. If anything, today was his fault, not hers. It was because of his actions that Fenris was dead and Elanor very well could have been killed as well._

_He quickly moved to follow her but was stopped by one of his father’s advisors as soon as he stepped into the corridor._

_“The king requests your presence,” he said formally after bowing._

_“There is something I must do first,” he said, already starting down the hall._

_“The king requests your presence now,” the advisor said sternly. Legolas stopped, and turned to him. It was clear that word of today’s events had already reached King Thranduil and now he was being summoned to answer for it. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out._

_“Very well…”_

_~~~_

_Legolas strode into his rooms later, already thinking over what he should say to Elanor. He knew that he had to speak to her. Apologize. The entire time he was he stood before his father, listening to him berate him for the loss of one of the strongest fighters in their guard, all he could think about was the look on her face. Her shattered soul in her eyes._

_He had to make things right._

_But what to say to her? Were there any words that would undo the pain that he had caused? Surely there were. He began to pace, already formulating a plan._

_He then stopped mid-pace, seeing a letter on a table. He walked over, frowning as he picked it up. He knew that handwriting better than his own. It was decorated by tear stains and smeared inkblots._

_But it was its short contents that broke his heart._

**_My father has made arrangements and I will go to Lothlorien to be among my mother’s kin for a time to atone for my mistakes. Please do not follow me. I cannot bear it._ **

**_Elanor_ **

~~~

Sighing, Legolas wondered if the time he had left in Lothlorien would be enough to say everything. For there was no guarantee that he would return and he did not want to once again leave without saying what was truly on his heart and mind. 

But at the same time, while he longed to tell her why he was truly upset that day, he worried it would only push her farther from him. He must tread carefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update Chapter 5! Thought it might help build up the relationship between Elanor and Haldir if I included his own flashback. And well, it shows further how frustrated Elanor was. Seriously, I’m the one writing this story and even I’m shouting at the computer for both of them to just TALK TO EACH OTHER, YOU IDIOTS! But yea, I felt that Elanor and Haldir’s relationship makes more sense if they had been friends a lot longer than a 100 years. And well, makes some things that happen in later chapters make more sense… And, I wasn’t sure if I had made it clear enough in the other version that Legolas was only talking to Tauriel because he wasn’t sure how to tell Elanor that he’s in love with her.
> 
> Anywho, thanks for reading and following!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Legolas sat silently watching as the other members of the Fellowship ate and laughed. Occasionally he would smile at something said, but for the most part he was stuck in his thoughts and memories, pushing his food around on his plate. 

He had not sought out Elanor, finding he was not yet sure what to say to her. At times she would appear so strong, but at others he was reminded just how fragile she could be. He did not wish to further hurt her. 

No, it was best to wait for her to seek him out.

“What ails you?” Aragorn asked softly, leaning closer to him. Legolas glanced at him and then reached for his goblet of wine.

“I am fine,” he replied before taking a drink. He looked around the table, meeting Boromir’s eyes. The Gondorian smirked at him and it left the elf unsettled, though he was not sure just why. “Just a bit tired is all.”

Aragorn nearly gave him an incredulous look, though stopped. He knew enough of Legolas to know that right now, something weighed heavy on his mind, though he would not speak of it unless he chose to. And certainly not in front of the full company. 

“Just where have you been spending your days, Elf?” Gimli asked boisterously, obviously having partaken of more than a few goblets of wine. Legolas looked over at the dwarf, whose eyes were twinkling. 

“Training. Fetching supplies,” Legolas replied.

“Sure it’s not with the lovely Elanor?” Boromir asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. Legolas kept his face calm, though he felt a jolt of annoyance run through him.

“I have not seen her, no,” he said evenly. _Stay calm,_ he urged himself.

“Oh, we spent some time with her today,” Merry pitched in. “Didn’t we Mr. Frodo?” Legolas’ eyes flicked to the ringbearer who nodded. He looked better rested, which he considered a blessing. The hobbit would need all his strength if he were to survive the rest of the journey.

“She’s been very welcoming,” Frodo said. 

“Today she told us about growing up in Mirkwood,” Pippin said brightly. 

“She did, did she?” Gimli said, though he shot an amused look towards Legolas. “And what did the lass say?”

“Oh, all about how she would run off into the forest every chance she got,” Pippin said. “And then there was one time…”

The hobbit’s voice faded into the background as Legolas’ thoughts wandered across the land and back in time to when he and Elanor would sneak out from their lessons to run amok around the halls or the forests just out of the doors. 

They would get in trouble every time, though usually not so much before his mother died. Afterwards, his father had grown harsher, though Fraeya had managed to temper him. Once she had died, there was no one left to try and curb his tongue, though Elanor somehow managed to be a buffer between father and son more often than not.

As children, she had been a close playmate, but then she had become so much more. She had become someone he could bare his soul to. Save for the true depth of his affections, he had told her everything. And it all started the day his mother died.

~~~

_Legolas sat in his room on the floor, staring at the floor as his toys surrounded him. He did not understand what was going on, only that his father had sent him away and there was much yelling. He could hear things being tossed about from behind the closed door. Wailing._

_And no one would tell him where his mother was._

_“Legolas?” a small voice said from the door. He turned, seeing Elanor standing there, barely visible behind the large door. Her long blonde hair was pulled into two plaits as she peered at him through wide blue eyes._

_She stepped into the room, her rosy cheeks wet. Legolas looked down at the floor again, frowning._

_“What’s wrong?” she asked softly, walking up to his side._

_“No one will tell me what is happening,” he said glumly. “Ada won’t see me. And I want Amil.”_

_Elanor sat on the floor next to him on her knees, watching him closely. He looked at her._

_“Why won’t they tell me anything? Why can’t I see Amil?” he asked, his eyes wide. “Did something happen to her?”_

_“I don’t know,” Elanor replied. “Amil and Ada would not say anything to me either…”_

_“Ella, I am afraid,” he said. “What if she isn’t coming back?” Legolas sniffed as tears filled his eyes. “What if I never see her again?” Tears began pouring down his cheeks. Elanor reached out and wrapped her arms around him, unsure what to say. She did not understand what had the hall in such a frenzy either. Her own mother held her tightly as she told her that the young prince would need them now more than ever. She had used the confusion of whatever was happening to sneak out of her family’s rooms and seek out her best friend._

_“You’ll always have me, Legolas,” she replied. It was the only thing that she could think to say. He pushed her away from him, a serious look coming over the small child’s face._

_“Do you swear it?” he asked. “That you will never leave me?” Elanor nodded._

_“I swear it… I will never leave your side,” she said solemnly. “It is you and me - for always.” Legolas then nodded and threw his arms around her again, starting to cry. They stayed that way for a few hours, both eventually falling asleep as the tears tired them out. It was like this that Elanor’s mother found them._

_“Ailmar, my king, they are here,” she called out, stepping over to the children as relief filled her face. Just behind her the king and her husband walked into the room, taking in the sight of the two sleeping children. “It would seem that she came to comfort him.”_

_Thranduil walked over and bent down, gently picking up his young son and holding him close. The movement caused the young elf to stir slightly, opening his eyes as his father held him and then turned to walk towards his bed. He watched as Fraeya picked up her young daughter and looked at him, her eyes full of warmth and worry._

_Legolas quickly shut his eyes as he felt his father bend over, putting him in bed and then tucking him in. He felt slight pressure on his forehead as his father kissed him and then straightened his hair._

_“Sleep well, my prince,” he murmured. “You are all I have left…”_

_The little boy pondered the words long after the others had left._

~~~

Legolas left the others early, finding himself not in the mood for frivolity. He had not missed the look of concern that Aragorn gave him and figured it was only a matter of time before he followed him into the woods.

He found himself looking towards the home where Elanor lived, wondering what she was doing. How she was faring. From the hobbits, she seemed in good spirits, but he was not sure if they would notice her being upset. It seemed that she had finally learned to hide what she was feeling.

“What is really the matter?” Aragorn asked, stepping up to Legolas from the trees. The elf glanced at him and then back at Elanor’s home.

“Just… lost in memory,” he said softly. “She was the first to comfort me… when my mother died.” 

Aragorn was silent, unsure of how to respond. But he could also sense that Legolas had more to say. 

“I made her promise that she would never leave me,” he continued. “That day. And made the vow myself the day her mother died… but… it seems that we have both broken our vows.”

“Things change. People change,” Aragorn said.

“The elves do not change. Not so easily,” Legolas replied, his eyes still trained on the home. “Though… I must say that she has. Very much. She was more… alive back then. Always smiling and laughing. But then if you crossed her, she did not hold back her anger.”

“And did you cross her often?” Aragorn asked. Legolas chuckled softly.

“I learned very quickly not to,” he said. “Though at times I could not help myself. We were young. Foolish. Though I do not have the excuse of youth for how I hurt her in the end.” Aragorn frowned, looking towards the home as well and wondering just how the two had fallen out. “I pushed her too far and she left me.”

The two were silent. Aragorn wished to ask what happened, but he could tell from Legolas’ stiff posture that it would not do to push him to speak of it if he did not wish to. It was best to let the elf set the pace of this conversation.

“I wish to make amends with her before we leave, but I am not sure if she will see me,” he said. “The last we spoke, I… I upset her again. All I seem to do is upset her.” 

Aragorn stepped over and placed his hand on Legolas’ shoulder, causing the elf to look over at him.

“I suppose all we can do is to let Fate take control,” Aragorn said, though as he uttered the words, he felt them inadequate. Legolas nodded and looked back at the home. “Surely there is a reason that you were brought here to her.” 

“Yes, surely there is a reason,” Legolas murmured. “If you’ll excuse me… I wish to be alone with my thoughts.”

“Of course,” Aragorn said, dropping his hand to his side. He then turned and walked away thought paused a moment, looking back. Legolas had not moved. Was still standing and staring at the home.

Sighing, Aragorn turned and continued on his way, hoping that Legolas and Elanor would find a way to make peace before they left.

~~~

Elanor stood on her balcony that evening, looking up at the starry sky between the tree branches, a goblet of wine in her hand. Now with Haldir back, she had made sure to stay true to the promise she made years ago. That she would face her problems rather than attempt to bury them at the bottom of a bottle. 

But this night, she allowed herself just a bit of comfort that it brought. 

She could not help but think that the sky here looked so very different from the sky in Mirkwood, though it was essentially the same. Here, she was so high up in the branches, she could actually see the sky. Whereas in the forest around the King’s hall, the leaves would often blot it out. And it had turned so very dark with the spiders only multiplying. The wood there was sick, she couldn’t help but think. Whereas here it was alive and flourishing.

But yet, she had still loved being out among the trees in Mirkwood. Just around the hall, it was not so bad. There was still life and joy there. She would often seek refuge there when her father got to be too much. Or when she was angered by something else. Or hurt. She had spent a lot of time in the trees as she watched Legolas grow closer to Tauriel, unsure of what to do or say. She could not speak of such things to her father - how could he understand? It did not help that she had overheard him and King Thranduil on more than one occasion discussing how it would be beneficial if their two houses were joined through marriage.

No, her mother was perhaps the only person Elanor could discuss this with. And she was gone.

But what they all wanted had not mattered. Legolas had obviously given his heart to another. And Elanor knew that meant there was no chance for love between them. It was yet another reason she had left Mirkwood that day. 

But there had been a time when she had hope. Hope that perhaps he felt the same. That they might possibly have something more than their friendship. For they did have a deep bond.

Elanor took a deep breath, closing her eyes and allowing memory to take her back. 

~~~

_Elanor sat in the clearing, her skirt splayed around her and likely getting dirty from the forest floor. But she did not care. Nor did she care that her father might scold her for it later. Nothing mattered in that moment save one thing - her mother was gone._

_There was no other sound, save that of the waterfall cascading into the small spring nearby. The tiny haven was hidden amongst the trees, though not too far off from the King’s Hall that she worried about her safety. It was the only place she could find right now where she could truly be alone._

_Once again, the tears welled up in her eyes though she had thought it wasn’t possible. She had been sitting here crying for what felt like hours. Felt there was no liquid left in her body. Part of her was surprised that no one had come seeking her yet, though at the same time, it wasn’t as though anyone knew where she was. This had long been her own special spot in the woods. Her mother had brought her here as a child, sharing her haven with her. They would often come together when Elanor did not seek its comfort on her own._

_And here is where she came now, the grief coursing through her body as she thought to every memory she had of her mother. Her gentle smile. Bright laughter. How she would scold Elanor, but then hold her close. Singing her to sleep every night as a child._

_But never again would she hold Elanor or sing to her. Or give her sage advice. She was gone. Waylaid by orcs on her way back from Lothlorien. A deep hatred then coursed through her. If she had gone with her, she could have protected her. Saved her from this fate. But she had stayed behind this time, saying she needed to get more training in before her next mission out with the guard._

_Elanor vowed then that she would never let another die. Even if it meant going out and killing every orc in the land, she would have her revenge._

_“I will avenge you, Amil,” she whispered, looking up at the small patch of sky that was visible through the trees._

_“Ella!? Ella! Where are you?”_

_Elanor looked in the direction of the voice, quickly wiping her cheeks. Before she could stand, Legolas stepped through the trees into the clearing. His look of worry faded into relief as he made his way to her, dropping down to sit at her side. Without a word, he reached out and pulled her to him. The tears began pouring yet again, but he did not say a word, only allowed her to cling to him as she sobbed._

_“Why her?” Elanor finally said, resting her head on his shoulder. “Why was it her caravan they attacked?”_

_“I do not know,” Legolas said. Elanor pushed away and looked into his eyes, seeing her own pain and grief reflected there. “I wish that I had been there…”_

_“As do I. I cannot help but think it would have been different… that I could have saved her,” she whispered. Legolas only pulled her close as she began to sob again. “I will not rest until I’ve killed them all.”_

_“Hush, Elanor. Now is not the time for revenge,” he said calmly._

_“But they killed her,” Elanor sobbed._

_“Yes, but you are grieving. We must not think of such things right now,” he said, though Elanor could tell he was restraining his own fury. His own mother had been killed by orcs. It was yet one more thing the two friends now had in common._

_“Do you carry this anger with you always?” she asked. He did not speak for a few moments._

_“At times, yes,” he said. “But you must not let it consume you.”_

_“All I can think about is tracking them down… killing every last one of them,” she said, her voice full of venom. Legolas only pulled her closer to her._

_“You must think rationally, Elanor. If you went out now, you would be blinded by your grief. Could make a mistake. And I could not bear it if I lost you too,” he said softly._

_Elanor felt her anger abate slightly as she pondered his words. She buried her face in his tunic, deciding he was right. For now, she needed to let go of her anger. Perhaps a time would come when she could return the favor to the orcs that had killed her mother._

_But for now, she only wished to sit and cry._

_“She may be gone, Elanor… but you will always have me,” Legolas then said. “I promise that I will never leave you.”_

_Despite her pain, Elanor could not help but take comfort in his words. For she knew they were true. Legolas began to stroke her hair as she continued to hold on to him and cry. Finally, her sobs quieted and she pulled away again, looking deep into his eyes._

_“You swear it?” she asked softly, remembering that day long ago when they were children. When she had made the same vow to him. A faint smile came across his face as he nodded._

_“I swear it. I will always be here with you,” he said. “It is you and I from henceforth. Always.”_

_“Good, for I will surely need your strength in the coming days,” she replied, wiping her cheeks again. Legolas reached out, stopping her, then wiping them away with his thumb. She could not help as a shiver of something ran through her at the gentle touch._

_“My strength, my comfort. It is all yours to take,” he said solemnly. Though he hesitated, as though there was more he wanted to say, but something stopped him. Elanor felt her cheeks heat up as she looked away, down to her dress that was now dirty from her trek into the woods._

_“I must look a fright,” she said, quickly trying to brush off twigs and dirt._

_“I had not noticed,” Legolas said. “You look the same as always to me.” Elanor stopped and looked up at him. “Always twigs and such in your hair.” He reached out and pulled one from her long curls and tossed it to the ground. Elanor was sure her cheeks were a bright red then. “Do you wish to go back or stay here longer? Your father is looking for you.”_

_“I should go back, but… I feel if I stay here, I can pretend that it is not true. That she may yet be waiting for me,” Elanor said, looking down at her hands in her lap._

_“Then we shall stay longer,” Legolas said, getting more comfortable at her side. Elanor continued staring at her hands before looking up at the sky, the stars twinkling down at her. “How did you come to find this place?”_

_“Amil brought me here,” Elanor said quietly. “It is one of the few places where you can fully see the stars and sky. She said that it reminded her of home. It was… our special place.”_

_“Then whenever you wish to feel close to her, you need only come here,” he said. Elanor looked over at him, finding him smiling sadly at her. “She will always be here. And within your heart.” Elanor nodded, looking back up at the sky, feeling more tears fall down her cheeks._

_“I can still feel her presence,” she said softly. “I think that you are right.”_

_“I know that I am… I can still feel my Amil,” he replied softly. Elanor looked over at him, finding him staring up at the sky. “They never really leave us, you know. They are still here. Looking out for us.”_

_“Is that what you truly believe?” she said. He nodded, glancing at her._

_“With all my heart,” he said._

_“Then I believe it too,” Elanor said, looking back up at the sky._

_They sat there in silence a few more moments before Elanor felt Legolas put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. Sighing, she laid her head on his shoulder._

_It was getting later and she knew that they should go back. Soon both of their fathers would likely send out a search party. But for now, she only wished to stay here. Just like this._

~~~

Elanor wiped away the tear that had slid down her cheek. She stood from her chair and walked over to the edge of the balcony, looking down into the now quiet clearing where the Fellowship had taken their meal. It was empty, save for one soul. 

Sorrow welled up in her as she watched Legolas sit still in the clearing, looking up at the sky as well. She was not sure if he knew she was watching, but she could not make herself look away. 

They had shared so much - good and bad. But there was so much more good there than bad. Yes, that last day in Mirkwood had been painful and shattered her. But standing here, watching him, she could not help but wonder if it was worth it to give up all the good just because of that day.

True, she did not think herself worthy of his forgiveness. But he appeared willing and eager to give it. 

_Do you swear it? That you will never leave me?_

_I swear it… I will never leave your side. It is you and me - for always._

_Do you swear it?_

_I swear it. I will always be here for you. It is you and I from henceforth. Always._

Elanor continued to watch him, finding that something she had not felt in so very long begin to creep its way into her heart. 

Hope.

Perhaps… perhaps she could speak to him. Put aside all that kept her away from Mirkwood the last 100 years. Not right away, of course, but maybe it was still yet possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are finally to a brand-new chapter. I’m still writing Chapter 7 and then I’ve got a lot more to rewrite (which two more all new chapters to add in) so I’m not sure how soon I’ll post the next one. But wanted to give you guys something all new.
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading and following!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Elanor found her feet leading her towards where the Fellowship was staying the next morning almost of their own accord. Though the closer she got, the more anxious she felt. She still was not so sure what she would say to Legolas.

“Lady Elanor!” Merry said brightly as she stepped into the clearing. It seemed the Fellowship was just finishing its breakfast as all members were present, though they quickly stood at her arrival. She could feel her cheeks flush slightly.

“What brings you to our humble corner today?” Gimli asked. 

“I only wished to see that you were taken care of,” she said, feeling slightly overwhelmed. She had not expected all of them to be here.

“We are well, thank you,” Aragorn said, though he glanced over at Legolas. Elanor nodded and then quickly turned, heading towards her home as she softly cursed herself

“Elanor.”

She stopped walking and turned, seeing that Legolas had followed her. Instantly, her heart began pounding in her chest.

“I was wondering if you would like to perhaps… walk with me a bit?” he asked hopefully. Still unable to speak, Elanor nodded. 

The two set out through the city at a leisurely pace, neither saying anything at first. Elanor could feel him looking at her, though she fought from returning the gaze.

_Calm. Control._

“How fares the Fellowship?” she asked, finding it a safe place to begin.

“Well,” Legolas said. “We want for nothing and each day grow stronger and more rested. Especially the hobbits.”

“That is good to hear,” Elanor replied. “I gather it must not be easy to be so far from home and loved ones. Especially for those who do not travel so much.”

“They seem eager for the adventure,” Legolas replied. Elanor glanced at him and then took a deep breath.

“And how are you faring? I do not recall you venturing too far from Mirkwood all that often before,” she continued. Legolas chuckled slightly.

“True, though I have become better traveled in the last century,” he said. 

“Ah yes, I heard. You spent time in Imladris and with the Dunedain,” Elanor said, finding her heart was beginning to pick up speed the closer their conversation edged towards the reason he would leave. “But I assumed the guard is in capable hands.”

“It is. Oren has more than proven himself,” Legolas said. Elanor stopped, turning to him. That made no sense. Since when was Oren captain of the guard?

“I thought Tauriel was captain,” she said, forgetting herself for a moment. Legolas studied her a moment.

“Tauriel left some 70 years ago,” he said. Elanor blinked a few times, but then continued on walking, a bit astonished by the news. And that Legolas did not seem to be all that bothered by the fact the object of his affections had left.

“What happened?” Elanor asked. 

“Well, a company of dwarves passed through our lands on their way to retake Erebor. We took them into custody and Tauriel… fell for one,” he said amiably. Elanor once again stopped and turned to him, her mouth falling open.

“A dwarf?!” she nearly shouted. Legolas stared at her a moment, his eyebrows rising. A grin then spread across his face as he chuckled. Elanor’s face then turned slightly pink as she remembered herself. Glancing around, she was glad that Gimli was not nearby. “I mean, I hold no ill will, but… it is rather unheard of.”

Legolas began walking again as Elanor followed him.

“It is. She followed them and a pack of orcs hunting them to Lake Town after they escaped. Saved him from certain death. But then… unfortunately he was mortally wounded in the Battle of the Five Armies,” Legolas said. Elanor frowned slightly.

Of course, she had heard of the battle, knew that even King Thranduil had gone to fight. But being in Lothlorien and in a haze of depression, she hadn’t really given it much thought. She looked over at Legolas, taking in his easy demeanor. Had he gone to fight as well? Followed Tauriel?

“Afterwards, my father suggested I go to Imladris while Tauriel left for the Grey Havens and then onward to the Undying Lands,” he said. Elanor could sense no sadness in his voice or expression. Shouldn’t he be more upset that Tauriel had left?

Shaking her head, Elanor returned her focus forward.

“I am sure that it was a trying time,” she said softly. Legolas stopped yet again, turning to her. As she looked up into his eyes, she noticed the sorrow creeping in.

“Not nearly as trying as the day you left,” he said, his voice growing soft as well. Elanor swallowed and willed herself to look away but found that she could not. Her heart began pounding faster and she felt as though she would jump out of her skin. But at the same time, she took a deep breath, reminding herself that she could not run from Legolas forever. “Ella, I-”

“Elanor! Legolas!”

Elanor gasped softly as she started, turning to see Haldir approach them. A part of her felt grateful for the distraction - while she was determined to speak to Legolas, she was not yet sure that she was ready to discuss that day with him. And that was surely where this was heading.

“How do you fare this morning?” Elanor asked, smiling at the marchwarden.

“Well. And you?” Haldir looked from Elanor to Legolas, clearly happy to see the two.

“If you’ll excuse me, I must get back to the others,” Legolas said stiffly before turning and walking away. Elanor watched his retreating back in shock, not understanding just what had upset him. Only moments ago, everything seemed fine. She looked back at Haldir in confusion.

“What has gotten into him?” she asked. Haldir frowned slightly and shook his head.

“I am not so sure,” he murmured.

“Well… certainly would not be the first he’s left me baffled and upset…”

~~~

_Elanor stood nervously in her chambers as her maid laid out the various parts of an elaborate gown. There was to be a feast that night and for the first time, her mother had insisted she wear something more mature than her usual gowns. She was now 60 and nearly of age. In just 40 more years, she would be considered a grown elleth._

_“Would you stop fretting. You will look magnificent,” her maid said, grinning at her. Elanor smiled nervously and nodded, too anxious to speak. “Dare say you will grab more than one eligible elf’s eye.”_

_“Phelorna, please,” Elanor said, huffing. Catching the eye of anyone was far from her mind. She wanted to learn how to fight first. Courting could come later. Unless it was Oren. Elanor decided that she would not mind so much if the handsome elf asked her to dance._

_“Ella!” Legolas shouted as he bounded into her rooms. Elanor gave a shriek as she rushed behind a screen, suddenly feeling rather vulnerable and practically naked in just her shift._

_“Legolas!” she shouted. “I am undressed! You cannot just barge in unannounced!”_

_“You have never complained before,” Legolas replied, seeming confused as to why he could not just waltz into Elanor’s room whenever he pleased._

_“I am in nothing but a shift!” she exclaimed, peering around the edge of the screen, seeing him seated in a chair, his legs propped up on a table._

_“She has a point, Prince Legolas,” Phelorna said, giving Legolas a stern look, though it was tempered by a chuckle._

_“I am not yet ready,” Elanor added, feeling her cheeks heat up._

_“Since when did you care about decorum?” Legolas asked._

_“We are not children anymore, Legolas!” Elanor replied._

_“But you’ve only just reached your full height,” Legolas replied. Elanor rolled her eyes._

_“I am nearly the same height as you, you cad,” she retorted._

_“I am bored,” Legolas said with a sigh, ignoring her comment. “Entertain me.”_

_“Such a selfish prince, you are,” Elanor shouted, her hands on her hips even though she knew he could not see her. “I am getting ready for the feast!”_

_“You can still talk to me,” Legolas said. Phelorna chuckled again as she picked up the gown and moved behind the screen._

_“I am not some sort of toy that you can demand speak to you whenever you wish,” Elanor retorted as Phelorna began to dress her._

_“But you always talk to me,” Legolas said, a hint of pouting in his voice._

_“Because I’m the only friend you’ve got,” Elanor said. “Everyone else thinks you are too annoying.”_

_“I have other friends,” Legolas said._

_“Then go bother them,” Elanor replied._

_“Ah, but why would I when I have you. You are my **best** friend, Ella,” he said sweetly. Elanor huffed as she lifted her arms for Phelorna to pull the gown over her head._

_“Fine,” she said, relenting. “You can stay.”_

_“You missed a good sparring match today,” Legolas said._

_“Trust me, I would have rather been at the training grounds than here,” Elanor said as Phelorna yanked her in various directions as she did up the laces of her gown. “OW! THAT’S TOO TIGHT!”_

_“It is the fashion, my lady,” Phelorna said._

_“How does anyone breathe in these things?” Elanor retorted, feeling as though she wouldn’t be able to eat a bite at the feast that night._

_“Does it really take so long to get ready for a feast?” Legolas asked. “I’ve been ready for ages.”._

_“Be glad you’re not an elleth,” Elanor said as Phelorna yanked her again. “And I thought it was bad when she was fixing my hair.”_

_“Oh hush. You will look every bit a grown lady when I’m done with you,” Phelorna replied._

_“What happened today?” Elanor asked. “It is your turn to talk. Distract me from the pain.”_

_“Don’t be so dramatic. I’m sure it is not that bad,” Legolas scoffed. Elanor winced._

_“Let’s put you in a gown and see how you feel,” she said through gritted teeth._

_“Orist got bested by Mryddin,” Legolas said, the smile on his face clear through his voice._

_“Finally, someone wipes the constant smirk off,” Elanor replied. “Someday that will be me.” Legolas snorted slightly. “What? Think I can’t best Orist in a sparring match?”_

_“Oh, yes. Of course, you will,” Legolas replied cautiously, hearing the note of warning in her voice and deciding it was better to back away than to get boxed by Elanor. Again._

_“There! The young lady is finished!” Phelorna said gleefully. “Now go look at yourself!”_

_Elanor stepped out from behind the screen, feeling very much restricted in the dress. The sleeves were long and she was sure she’d trip on them. She was so busy trying to hold her arms out as she walked that a sudden “thunk” caused her to jump. She looked over, seeing Legolas sprawled on the floor, the chair he was sitting in having fallen over backwards._

_Nimbly, he got to his feet and righted the chair, being careful not to look at Elanor._

_“Seems the young prince has taken quite a shock,” Phelorna said, grinning, as Elanor continued to stare at him, perplexed._

_“Just not used to seeing Elanor look… so… exposed,” he said, glancing up at her. Elanor looked down at the dress which sat off her shoulders. Other than that, she was still very much covered. She looked up at him, still confused._

_“I am not exposed,” she said, her cheeks heating up. To be honest after glimpsing at herself in the mirror in the forest green dress, she thought it looked rather beautiful. Even if she couldn’t breathe._

_“You look lovely, Lady Elanor,” Phelorna said. “You will gain attention tonight, I believe.” Elanor looked over at her. “Likely that handsome Oren will turn an eye towards you.” Elanor blushed slightly. Oren was not much older and Elanor did find him rather handsome._

_“Oren is insufferable. You shan’t wish him to look at you in favor,” Legolas said, causing Elanor to look over at him._

_“Well, what if I should?” she said haughtily, sticking her nose in the air._

_“Doesn’t matter. He won’t notice you. Your arms are too spindly, and the dress makes you look like a twig,” Legolas said. Elanor glared at him a moment, feeling tears prick at her eyes._

_“My Prince,” Phelorna admonished. “That is no way to speak to a lady.”_

_“It’s true,” he said, sticking his chin out._

_“Get out!” Elanor shouted, pointing her finger towards the door. “Get out or so help me I will box you!”_

_“Fine. Getting rather insufferable in here anyway,” he said before turning on his heels and marching out._

_“Pay him no mind, my lady. He is young and foolish,” Phelorna said soothingly. “And likely embarrassed from falling out of his chair at the sight of you.” Elanor nodded as she walked over to the mirror to get a better look at herself. She tried to tell herself that she looked beautiful but could not help but see the twig Legolas had mentioned._

_“I am not a twig,” she muttered to herself before turning and striding out of the room._

~~~

Legolas sighed and grumbled to himself as he made his way back to his lodgings. He was over 2,000 years old and yet, just the idea that Elanor could have a suitor and he resorted to acting as though he were no more than 50 or 60. 

But at the same time, he could not help it as a wave of jealousy flowed through him when Haldir approached and Elanor looked overly pleased to see him.

“You have no claim,” Legolas said softly to himself as he stepped into his room. “She is not yours. Never was.”

He had been about to tell her everything. Just how much he had missed her for the last 100 years. That he wished he had never said those things. That he longed not only for their renewed friendship, but for her. 

And then Haldir had arrived.

Legolas shook his head and walked towards a large window, looking out at the city below as he thought to the look of confusion and disappointment on Elanor’s face as he turned away from her.

He had done it yet again, it seemed. He was always creating a mess when it came to Elanor...

~~~

_Elanor giggled as she leaned closer to Oren, her hair down in a cascade of curls. Legolas stopped and frowned, finding it curious. She never wore her hair down. Nor did she giggle in that fashion. He remembered the day of the feast years ago when the maid had teased her about Oren and the same bout of jealousy reared up._

_This was his Elanor. No one else’s. **His** best friend. _

_He then strode up to the pair as Oren reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, causing Elanor to blush._

_“What’s this?” he asked loudly as he approached them. Elanor’s eyes widened as she jumped away from Oren and turned to face the elf prince._

_“Just talking,” she said as her cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink._

_“As she said,” Oren replied, though he smiled down at her. Legolas frowned as he sized up the elf._

_“You would do well to remember your place… Silvan,” he said coldly as he stared at him. Oren frowned slightly as a flash of anger came across Elanor’s face._

_“Yes, of course, my prince,” Oren said as he bowed and then started walking away, though he glanced back at Elanor._

_“Just what was that?” she spat after he had left, her hands planted on her hips._

_“Reminding him that you are above him,” Legolas said lightly as he took Oren’s place at her side. “You are Sindarin and Noldorian.” Elanor rolled her eyes._

_“You know that means nothing to me or my family,” she said. “You scared him off!”_

_“With good reason! Oren is not good enough for you,” Legolas said, looking over at her._

_“He is a good elf,” she insisted._

_“Please, you are only paying him interest because you find him handsome,” Legolas said._

_“So?” she asked. “He is handsome and so much more.”_

_“Trust me. I am saving you,” Legolas said._

_“More like trying to keep me all to yourself,” Elanor huffed._

_“So, what if I am? You are my best friend,” Legolas said._

_“Exactly. Your best friend,” she retorted. “Not your, your… lover.” Legolas eyes widened at the word as he blushed slightly. He had never thought of Elanor in that way, though he did feel protective of her._

_“I should think not,” he replied indignantly._

_“Then why do you care if I speak with Oren?” she asked._

_“Because you are my friend first,” he said, unable to think of a better response._

_“Sometimes you are insufferable,” Elanor said, starting to turn away. Legolas reached out for her arm, wishing to try and make things right. He didn’t like it when Elanor was angry with him._

_“I am sorry,” he said. She stopped and glared at him. “You are right… it was not my place.” She yanked her arm out of his grasp, though her anger had abated slightly._

_“Just so long as you remember that,” she said. He nodded fervently. “Come on then. Father’s returned from Imladris and I believe he has presents for us.” Legolas smiled with relief as he moved to her side and they began walking through the halls towards her father’s rooms. Elanor continued to glance at him as they walked, studying the prince._

_She hoped this would be the last of such actions._

~~~

Legolas found himself wandering through the forest yet again, unsure of where he was going, but not really caring. He had to get away from the others. He was still far too embarrassed at his actions that day and unsure just how to approach Elanor and best explain.

Legolas stepped into a clearing and stopped, looking up at the branches of the trees, drinking in the serenity of the wood. 

He then looked to his right, hearing someone approach. He waited patiently, then froze when Elanor stepped out from the trees. She stopped as soon as she saw him, her eyes widening slightly as though she did not expect to find him there.

“Legolas,” she said softly, though her voice was like music to his ears. He did not move towards her. They both stood a bit awkwardly for a few moments. “Are you well? You left rather abruptly.”

“Oh, yes, I…,” he faltered a bit unsure of what to say. “I should… take my leave. You probably wish to be alone with your thoughts.” He started to turn and walk away, once again silently cursing himself.

“Don’t,” she said suddenly, surprising the both of them. He turned to her, seeing the clear turmoil in her eyes. She seemed to be agonizing over some decision, but finally sighed heavily. “I… many things have transpired between us, but I feel that it was fate that brought us here to this moment and it should not be wasted.”

“I truly regret everything that I said that day,” he said. She was silent, looking to the ground. “I know that you do not wish to hear such things, but I should have never said what I did - I did not truly mean it. And I truly regret the pain I have caused you.”

The agony etched in her face was more than he could bear. Legolas searched his mind for any other words that could possibly wipe it away, but he could find none. For a moment, he contemplated telling her the full truth of that day. 

As Legolas searched for the words, Elanor struggled to hold herself together. Though it was not the first time he had said such things to her, her mind would not allow her to grasp onto them. Deep down, she still felt as though it was all her fault. That because of her Fenris had died and nothing could change that.

But the longer she stared at him, the more she saw the remorse in his eyes, the more she clung to Haldir’s words. She knew that Haldir spoke the truth. That she would forever be tormented by her past until she learned to let go. And to do that, she would need to make amends with him.

More than that, Elanor could not help but think that now she had a small taste of Legolas in her life, she was not yet ready to part ways again.

“I… I wish for there to be peace between us,” she said softly, her gaze not leaving his. “I fear I am not sure just how to accomplish that, but… I can no longer run from you.”

He cautiously reached out as he neared her, gently taking her hands into his own. It was as though a million memories and sensations ran through him all at once. Happiness. Relief. Worry. But above all, hope. 

Hope that he had not lost her forever. 

“I will do whatever is in my power to make amends for that day,” he said. “To repair the damage that I have inflicted.” Elanor nodded, though her eyes dropped to the ground as she stepped back from him, pulling her hands out of his. Perhaps it had been too much too soon, he thought as he watched her wrap her arms around herself. But she did not completely draw away from him. And soon she looked up, once again meeting his eyes. There was a quiet determination within their depths, as though once she had made the decision not to run, she was set on fulfilling it.

“I only ask that you allow me time,” she said. He nodded eagerly. 

“I hope that we can someday speak freely with each other as we once did,” he said. “There has long been a void in Mirkwood since you left,” he said. Elanor stared at him in surprise. “The halls are not so bright without your presence.”

“I should like to return some day, though not just yet,” Elanor found herself saying. Something inside her shifted and she felt as though a bit of the weight she had carried within her all these years, a weight she had long grown accustomed to, had lifted. Though not all. Perhaps it was the way that the prince - her once closest companion - was now smiling at her in relief. 

He held his hand out, silently asking if she would walk with him. Elanor hesitated, then nodded and stepped to his side, the two moving quietly and slowly through the woods. 

“Have you fared well in your studies of healing?” he asked.

“I hope that I have, but some days I fear I will never learn all there is to know,” she said, frowning slightly. “Durothil is a good teacher, yet his patience draws thin rather easily.”

“If I know you, you will easily master the art in time,” Legolas said. “You never were one to give up.” Elanor smiled softly as she glanced at him.

“I do not like to be proven wrong,” she replied. “Something you are well aware of.”

“It would seem that some things have not changed,” he said. 

As they walked and spoke, for a moment Elanor forgot that they were in the Golden Wood, thinking that perhaps they were back to the days when they would stroll through the forest surrounding the King’s Hall in Mirkwood. 

But at the same time, it was altogether different. 

“We must leave soon,” Legolas said, coming to a stop near Elanor’s home. She frowned slightly at this news, remembering just what had brought Legolas and the Fellowship to Lothlorien.

There was no guarantee that she would see him again, for it was a dangerous journey that he was on.

“So soon?” she asked, slightly breathlessly. Legolas nodded.

“Though I would like to come back to visit… if you would allow,” he said earnestly. Elanor immediately nodded her head.

“Of course, I shall eagerly await your return,” she said, keeping her voice even. Legolas dipped his head slightly, then looked up, meeting her gaze once again. For a moment, he had flashes of the last time they parted, though he attempted to push them aside.

How he wished they had more time, for now that he had found her again, he was not eager to let her go. Words he had longed hoped to say to her were bubbling just beneath his calm facade, but he knew that he could not. 

“I will do my best to ensure that I do return,” he said, finding it was the only promise he could give. 

Elanor swallowed, fear once again seizing her heart. She knew the dangers he would face and there was every chance that he would not survive. Any of them. For a moment she considered saying more. But she did not, finding that she could not even form the words. Perhaps before he left, she would find a way.

“I will take my leave,” Legolas then said. Elanor nodded quickly.

“Yes, it is quite late,” she replied. She then turned and strode into her home, leaving the prince standing there watching as she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly but surely making my way through edits. Working on Chapter 11 at the moment and then I have to write a new Chapter 12 and continue on with edits from there to Chapter 19! Hope you enjoy. The flashbacks are actually from the original version – as I mentioned, I wanted to incorporate more of them into this story to help show more of Legolas and Elanor’s past together.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Elanor looked down into the basket, double checking yet again that she had everything she needed. As part of her tasks for Durothil that day, she was to deliver a collection of salves and tonics to Haldir before the next patrol set out to the borders. Murmuring a few greetings to others as she walked through the city, Elanor could not help but find the world a bit brighter. It was a bit easier to breathe.

True, things were not completely as they once were. Guilt would still rise up within her without a moment’s notice. One word or glance would have her heart seizing in pain yet again. It would take much longer than a few days for her to heal, truly move forward on this path (whatever path it was that she was currently on), but she could not help but feel as though she were heading in the right direction. 

She and Legolas had been gradually spending more time together. Slowly getting to know one another again. They always kept to safe topics - the weather, Legolas’ travels, Elanor’s healing, their fathers and so on. Each time they spoke, she could not help but think that a bit more of the wall she had built around herself crumbled away.

But at the same time, each day that passed was another step closer to when the Fellowship would depart for the remainder of their journey. Soon they would be gone. 

Elanor stopped a moment, her hand coming to rest on her chest as she struggled under the sudden weight of the thought. Just when she was finally beginning to make amends with Legolas, nearly ready to speak to him about that day, he would be gone. And there was no guarantee that she would ever see him again, for it was a dangerous path he was taking. 

Though elves usually had quite possibly all the time in the world, she now felt as though it was slipping through her fingers. 

Shaking her head, Elanor continued on down the path, pushing aside such thoughts for now. It would not do if she slacked off in her tasks and at the moment, Haldir needed the supplies. She could ponder upon Legolas and other such thoughts later. 

Elanor came upon the home where Haldir lived with his family in due course and made her way to the large door. Knocking, she then took a step back and waited. 

“Well then, what is it that has brought the lovely Elanor to my doorstep this day?” Orophin, Haldir’s second-youngest brother said with a wide grin. Elanor could not help but to smile in return. While he and Rumil were far more puckish than their older brother, she found them entertaining more than annoying. “Have the Valar sought to bless me? Will you finally accept my hand in marriage?”

Elanor stood with an amused smile, watching as the tall elf dropped to one knee before her, his hands resting over his heart. 

“Oh, is this that blessed day?” he asked. 

“Unfortunately, it is not,” Elanor replied as Orophin jumped to his feet, his long blonde hair swinging around his shoulders. 

“I thought perhaps this time you would finally give in,” he said with a disappointed sigh.

“I am only here to deliver these to Haldir,” she replied, holding out the basket. “Is he in?”

Orophin looked down into the basket and then back up at Elanor.

“You’ll find him on the training grounds at this hour,” he said, winking at her as he started to shut the door. Elanor’s eyes widened as she moved to stop him, knowing exactly what he was trying to do.

“Can’t you just-”

_SLAM!_

She hopped back from the door as it shut in her face, Orophin’s laughter coming from the other side. Huffing, Elanor turned and looked in the direction of the training grounds towards the edge of the city, then back to the door. For a moment, she contemplated just leaving the basket on the doorstep, but knew that Durothil would ream her out for doing such a thing.

Looking back towards the grounds, her heart began to race slightly as her hands grew clammy. She never went to the training grounds - had never even seen them in her 100 years in Lothlorien, though only Haldir knew the true reason why. Which is why she could not fault Orophin for tricking her to going there. But still, just the idea of walking amongst the others as they sparred and fought - though it was not real combat - was already sending her back in time. 

Looking back at the door, Elanor frowned and raised her hand to knock, this time intending to shove the basket into Orophin’s hands before he could slam the door in her face again. But then she stopped, looking back towards the grounds. 

It had been so long ago. She felt better than she had in ever so long. Perhaps it was time to take yet another step forward. A determined look came over Elanor’s face as she started down the path. Yes, she decided that she could do this. She was strong. At one point in her life she would have even thought herself brave. 

This was just another step down the right path. The path that her aunt and Haldir had been attempting to get her on all along.

It did not take long for her to reach the grounds, though she stopped while still a ways off, already hearing the clang of metal and various shouts. She reminded herself that this was only training. That no one was really fighting for their life. There was no danger. But she could not help as a cold chill went down her spine. 

“Courage, Elanor,” she whispered to herself. “Calm. Control. _Breathe._ ”

She took a deep breath and willed her feet forward as she gripped the handle of the basket. Tilting her chin up, she continued moving until she came to a large open clearing in the trees, seeing a number of soldiers sparring while others were lined up, taking aim at targets. Still, further on in the trees, she could see others going through a course, leaping from branch to branch and dashing over logs and brush.

She stopped on the edge of the grounds and looked around, hoping to locate Haldir and finish her task quickly. 

The clang of swords hitting caused her to jump slightly. Squeezing her eyes shut, she could not help as Fenris’ face flashed before her and panic and guilt began to well up within her.

_ELANOR! Look out!_

“Elanor?”

Her eyes flew open as she looked over and then smiled in relief. She quickly closed the distance between herself and Haldir, holding out the basket.

“From Durothil,” she said. Haldir looked down at the basket and then up at her as he took it from her.

“I did not expect you to come here,” he said calmly. “You could have left these with Orophin.” Elanor looked around the grounds, wincing slightly as she watched one of the soldiers take a particularly brutal hit. “Are you well?”

Elanor looked over at him, her eyes wide. She nodded quickly, though from the look he was giving her, she could tell that he did not believe her. Once again, her eyes drifted away from him, turning to look around the field. For a moment she started, swearing she saw Fenris among them. Haldir reached out and took her arm, caressing it slightly.

“Look into my eyes, Elanor,” he said calmly. She met his eyes. “Breathe.” She took a deep breath and shakily let it out, not realizing that she had been holding her breath. 

“My apologies,” Elanor said, her eyes starting to drift away yet again.

“Elanor,” he said firmly. She looked back at him. “You are safe here.”

“I know,” she said. “I… I… know, just…”

~~~

“Is that Lady Elanor?”

Legolas turned slightly, hearing the elves standing not far from him begin to speak softly to each other. He saw Elanor standing near the open field, her eyes wide with fear, her skin pale, as she gripped a basket. In an instant, he had started towards her, wishing nothing more than to see what was the matter and comfort her.

But he then stopped, watching as she nearly ran to Haldir, holding the basket out.

“I have never seen her step foot here,” one of the elves said, neither noticing Legolas nearby. 

“She refuses,” the second said. “Though I know that the marchwarden has long hoped that she would join the guard. She was once a fearsome fighter in Mirkwood.”

“She does not seem so fearsome now. More so that she might faint from fright,” the first said dryly. Legolas glared at dark-haired elf, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. What did this elf know of Elanor? 

“You know not of what has occurred in her past,” the second elf admonished. “Haldir has said that he would gladly make her his second in command if she should ever decide to join.”

“And how would you feel, Braen? Losing your position?” the first asked.

“I would gladly step aside for someone more suited for the role,” the second replied immediately.

“Perhaps he wishes to make her more than just his second in command from what I see,” the first said, looking back towards the two. Legolas looked back towards Elanor, noticing that Haldir had taken hold of her arms as she stared up at him. He could not tell what they were speaking of, but the concern was evident on Haldir’s face as Elanor stared up at him intently.

The desire to protect her was nearly overwhelming, as was the guilt. Legolas had failed Elanor when she needed him the most and it was a fitting punishment that he should stand and watch as another stepped in to do what he could not. Though he felt they were growing closer each time that they met, any hopes of telling her the extent of his affections were now lessened.

Elanor offered Haldir a tense smile before turning and hurriedly making her way off the training grounds, her eyes nervously traveling over the many soldiers there. It was so very odd to see her so afraid. Legolas could not think of a time before that dreadful day when she had been anything other than fearless. 

Yet another wave of agony coursed through him. So much of her had changed because of that day. That one patrol. He wished more than anything he could go back in time and change everything.

“There’s the lad!” 

Legolas turned, seeing Gimli and Boromir walk up to him, a grin on the dwarf’s face as Boromir scanned the training grounds. Out of the corner of his eye, Legolas saw looks of shock on the two elves’ faces as they realized he had been standing nearby for nearly their whole conversation. 

“Have you been here this whole day?” Gimli asked.

“Yes,” Legolas said, his eyes then moving back towards Elanor as she made her way farther from them. “Felt it the best way to pass the time.”

“Thought perhaps you would be visiting with Lady Elanor again,” Boromir said.

“She has her duties. I do not wish to completely disrupt her life while we are here,” Legolas said firmly. Even now, despite everything, he could feel his body urging him to follow after her. To calm or comfort, whatever it was she needed.

“I see then. Perhaps you could oblige me with a sparring match then? I’ve been teaching the hobbits all this time and could use a challenge,” Boromir said, already heading out to the field. 

Legolas frowned as he looked at him and then back towards the trail. As he swung his gaze back around to the Gondorian, he caught Haldir watching him closely. 

“I can,” Legolas found himself saying as he moved towards the steward’s son, pulling his sword out. The man grinned, preparing himself. 

“This should be interest-”

Legolas did not give him time to finish his sentence as he launched into an attack. At first, Boromir was taken aback, quickly allowing the elf the upper hand. But as he settled into the match, the steward’s son began to gain ground. For his part, Legolas could not help as he found himself falling into a pattern with which he was familiar. Boromir was not so different from other foes that he had fought. 

And it felt good to work out his frustration in this way. Frustration over the fact he currently felt useless and completely unable to help the woman he loved.

And then his thoughts drifted back… back to when Elanor had been fearless…

~~~

_“Legolas, down!”_

_Without a word, Legolas immediately dropped lower, glancing over to see an orc that had been running towards him suddenly staggering backwards, two arrows protruding from its chest. Moving quickly, he hopped up and started towards another, though once again Elanor seemed to beat him to it. Two arrows landed in the creature before he could even pull out his sword._

_Though there was no time for thanks or orders as more orcs poured into the clearing. Elanor managed a smirk in his direction before she swung her bow over her back and pulled out her sword, sprinting towards the enemy._

_Legolas engaged with his own foe, though he continued to keep an eye on Elanor. Not so much out of protection, but because it was difficult to keep his eyes elsewhere as she almost danced around the orcs, easily avoiding their weapons and strikes while managing to land her own. There was a fierce intensity in her blue eyes as she parried, ducked and struck._

_An intensity that he could not get enough of watching._

_“Fenris!” she shouted, turning while loading an arrow into her bow that she then shot out at another orc that had been battling the elf._

_“Allow me to kill my own, will you?” Fenris shouted back, causing Elanor to chuckle and continue on with her work._

_Only moments later, the elves stood surveying their work as the company of orcs lay dead around them. Legolas frowned, wishing they had been able to take one alive, for it was not often that orcs traveled far into Mirkwood._

_“I know that look,” Elanor said, stepping up to his side. “You are concerned.”_

_“Yes… this is the second time in the last few months that we’ve come across a company this large in our wood,” Legolas said. Elanor nodded as she studied the dead creatures. She then stepped forward and crouched down, her nose wrinkling slightly at the smell._

_“We are near the borders of the forest with the Grey Mountains,” she said, looking up at him. “It’s long been rumoured that they have sought refuge there.”_

_“Yes, but why venture into these parts now?” Legolas asked. Elanor returned to studying the creatures as she gracefully rose to her feet._

_“Desperation?” she suggested as she continued walking through the bodies, stopping every so often to bend down and inspect something. Though nothing must have seemed of note as she continued on. Legolas’ eyes drifted from the orcs up to Elanor, watching as she moved determinedly, a look of concentration once again on her face._

_Suddenly, her head swung over to the left, hearing something that the others could not as she had now moved far from them. Legolas immediately began moving towards her, watching as she easily pulled out her sword and blocked what could have been a devastating blow from an injured, yet still dangerous orc that had been hiding in the trees._

_Hurrying, he shouted for the others, worried there could be other orcs lying in wait._

_With all her might, Elanor kicked the creature in the chest, sending it flying back. It landed hard on the ground, its weapon flying from its hand as Elanor smashed her foot down on its wrist and held her blade to its neck. The orc squealed in pain, struggling on the ground, but stopped as Elanor’s sword pierced its skin._

_“Now, now. We have questions,” she said, peering calmly down at it. The creature spit at her foot, glaring up at the elf._

_“That is no way to treat a lady,” Fenris said, walking up to her side._

_Elanor looked over at Legolas, smirking._

_“Suppose now is our chance to get some answers,” she said as the others on the patrol hurried over, dragging the injured creature to its feet. “You’re welcome.”_

_Legolas chuckled as he shook his head._

_“Who said I was thankful?” he replied. Elanor snorted softly as she sheathed her sword._

_“You would be hopelessly lost without me, Legolas,” she replied, already following the others as they led the orc back towards their camp._

_“I highly doubt that,” the prince said. Elanor shot him a look over her shoulder, though she was clearly smiling at him and a twinkle had entered her eye._

_“I’m still winning, you know,” she sang. Legolas only shook his head in response._

_“Not for long…”_

~~~

Elanor stood yet again on her balcony that evening, a gentle breeze blowing through her hair. Part of her was surprised at how calm she was in that moment considering earlier. She had only managed a short amount of time on the training grounds before the memories threatened to take control and she had to leave. She still spent some time cowering in her rooms, fighting off the dark thoughts that once again sought to take over.

But still, she had managed that much. 

“I spoke with Orophin,” Haldir said, stepping out behind her and holding out a goblet. Elanor took it. “He should not have sent you to the grounds. He now understands the gravity of his actions.”

“He knew not what he was doing,” Elanor said, turning back to look out at the city and taking a sip. “Don’t be so harsh with him.” Haldir stepped to her side, studying her closely. 

Elanor looked over at him, a small smile appearing across her face.

“Surely you do not think that one small trip to the training grounds will do me in,” she quipped. Haldir’s eyes widened slightly as a smile slowly filled his face. He then chuckled.

“I was not sure how it would affect you. I know how you feel about fighting,” he said. Elanor looked over her shoulder into her room, seeing the chest against the wall. She then quickly looked back to the city, taking another drink of wine as a shudder ran through her body.

“Just because I no longer wish to fight does not mean that I shall faint at the sight of a sword,” she said dryly. “I was once a member of the guard.”

“And you can be once again,” Haldir said. Elanor glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “If you wish to.”

“I have not touched a sword or a bow in 100 years, Haldir,” she said.

“Skills never truly leave,” he continued. “A bit of training and you would be-”

“I said no,” Elanor said harshly, cutting him off. “I do not wish to join the guard. What use would I be? I could not protect others when it counted. I would only let you down. No, I can be more useful as a healer… not a soldier.”

Haldir remained silent a few moments before nodding. It was not the first time they had had this conversion, though he had hoped with her trip to the training grounds, perhaps this time would be different. But it seemed her guilt still had a strong hold on her in this regard.

There was only so far he could push her on this subject, this he knew. But Haldir could not help but hope that she would decide to take up her sword again. For with the coming darkness, he would surely need all his best fighters - Elanor included - at his side to defend the borders of Lothlorien. 

While Haldir knew the magic protecting Lothlorien was strong and it would take Sauron himself arriving for it to fall, he could feel in his bones that by the end of this war, they would be drawn far more into the fray. Something would lead them from these lands and beyond their borders. And while part of him wished for Elanor to remain where she would be safe, another wished for her to embrace the warrior that she once was and help lead Lothlorien’s army at his side.

But obviously not today.

“What are you thinking, Haldir?” Elanor asked. 

His eyes flicked up to her eyes, as he realized he had been lost in thought for a rather long time now. 

“Nothing of importance,” he said. 

“Must be if you were silent for so long,” she said. Haldir only continued to stare out at the city, his expression solemn. 

“It is something that you would not wish to hear,” he replied.

“Oh,” Elanor said, turning to look out to the city herself, no longer eager to push him on whatever it was he had been thinking.

The two remained standing in silence a bit longer before Haldir reached out and pulled her closer.

“I am proud of you. Today was a big step,” he said softly. Elanor looked up at him and nodded, before looking away. “Whether you fight again or not, I only hope that this means you will someday be whole again.”

“I as well,” Elanor replied softly, her thoughts immediately turning to Legolas as her brow furrowed. 

Would she truly ever be whole again? 

~~~

Legolas stopped as he neared Elanor’s home, his eyes glued to the balcony up in the tree. The moonlight filtered through the trees, catching the golden hue of Elanor’s hair and the slight shimmer of her gown. His heart skipped a bit, taking in the serenity on her face as she looked out over the city. 

A smile came across his face and he took another step towards the home when he suddenly stopped as he saw Haldir move into sight, closer to her, pulling her towards him. While Elanor kept her arms in front of her, he saw her lean towards the marchwarden. 

Piercing pain filled Legolas heart as he spun around and quickly made his way back to his room. He had only wished to check on her after the scene at the training grounds. He had a fairly decent idea why she did not wish to be there and hoped that she might be in better spirits. Or perhaps she might be willing to finally, fully, speak about that day.

But now all he wished was to be alone and try to unsee the obvious devotion between the two.

“ _You do not deserve her,”_ he thought to himself. _“You failed her. She deserves to be happy. Even if it is with him.”_

_“Elanor deserves all the happiness in the world… even if it’s not you…"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on Chapter 13, which is another new addition. Realized I needed more build up before we go to Helm’s Deep and transitioning for Elanor.
> 
> Another change I made in edits and rewrites was that I took out her vow. Realized that she wouldn’t like put aside something as strong as a vow to never fight again, but it wasn’t meant to be that strong. More so (as you can see in this chapter, which is another additional chapter I wrote) because she feels that she is a failure for not being able to save Fenris or her mother. And she is plagued by memories of the day Fenris died whenever she’s around fighting or weapons. So more a mental thing than a sense of duty thing.
> 
> Suppose with Elanor and Legolas, with the edits and such, I really wanted to dive into just how much they are punishing themselves. And not just because of what happened with Fenris, but because they were both too afraid to be honest with each other. It’s going to get in their way a lot still, but you don’t just get over stuff overnight. So, while they make some great progress, there are still going to be setbacks and things that linger and all. They might be immortal elves and all, but they still struggle with things and all. If that makes sense…
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and following! Hoping once I get through Chapter 13 things will go faster and I can post more often for a bit since it’s just edits and such until Chapter 19. Then I get into writing all new chapters until the end (Chapter 25 at the moment).


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Elanor walked back to the bedside of the young elf, holding a clay jar. She held it out to Durothil, who silently took it and placed it on a nearby table. The young one could not be much older than 10 or so, but bravely fought off tears. Moving to the other side of the bed, she sat and took his hand, causing him to slightly start in surprise.

“My how brave you are,” she said soothingly. Durothil glanced at her but said nothing as he continued in his work preparing a mixture to put on the wound and prevent inflammation. The young one had been playing with his mates and inadvertently took a hit from an ill sharpened wooden sword, leading to the long gash in his arm. While it was not deep enough to need stitching, it was large enough to cause a bit of concern.

“A soldier does not show pain,” the young ellon said, lifting his chin slightly as he pulled his hand from hers, though his lower lip was quivering slightly. “I wish to someday join the guard.” 

Elanor glanced up at Durothil, who wore an amused look, before looking back down at the child.

“What noble aspirations. I am sure that our marchwarden will be honored to have such a brave fighter among his forces,” she said. He did not respond, only grimaced as Durothil began cleaning the wound. “I was once among the king’s guard in Mirkwood.” 

The young ellon looked at her, shock apparent in his eyes.

“You, Lady Elanor?” he nearly whispered. “You fought for King Thranduil?”

While there was pain as was usual whenever Elanor spoke or thought of her past, she found it was not as painful as before. Perhaps her visits with Legolas truly were the balm she needed to heal her soul. They still had not ventured into that territory just yet - that dreadful day - but perhaps soon.

Though she had not seen him in a few days and wondered what kept him away. Hopefully she had not done or said something to offend him.

“Yes,” she said. “I trained for many years under the prince himself. We were… once close friends and he took me under his wing, teaching me all that he knew. I fought at his side in many skirmishes. Spoke many times with the king. My father was an advisor, you see. And our families were rather close.” The young one leaned closer to her, no longer paying heed to Durothil as he continued in his work, the pain seemingly forgotten.

She glanced over at the healer, noting the small smile of appreciation on his face. While the young elfing had attempted to remain stoic, distracting him made Durothil’s work much easier.

“You must have been a great fighter, my lady, to have fought at the prince’s side,” the child then said, now grinning. Elanor blushed slightly as she looked down at her lap. 

“I was…” she stopped speaking, her prior failure once again looming before her. She could feel her chest tighten, and closed her eyes for a moment, breathing deeply. When she opened them, she fixed the young elfling with a firm look.

“I was too sure of myself then. Foolishly rushing into situations, brandishing a sword and thinking I was invincible. And it led to mistakes that held grave consequences. If you wish to serve in the guard, to protect these lands and those who dwell within them, you must always listen to those who lead you. Heed their commands and do not let your own arrogance guide you,” she said seriously. “Only then can you be a great fighter, protector and soldier.”

“I will not, my lady,” the young ellon vowed solemnly. Elanor then smiled and looked over at the healer. 

“It would seem as though Lord Durothil has finished his work,” she said. The ellon looked over, finding his arm now wrapped in a bandage.

“Return tomorrow so that I may check it. But you are free to go,” Durothil said sternly. “And do not attempt to stab your brother with a wooden sword again, I beg you.”

“Yes, my lord,” the ellon said as he quickly got up from the bed. “Thank you.” He then scurried out of the house of healing as Elanor stood and began straightening up the bed.

“That was kind of you… to speak of your experience with him,” Durothil said, drawing her attention. Truthfully, it was the most she had even spoken to him about her previous life, though he knew it all through consultations with Galadriel. He was surprised she had said as much to the young one.

“I knew that he needed something else to focus on,” she replied. “It was merely to distract him.” Durothil nodded, but then looked over, something behind Elanor gaining his attention. She turned, seeing that Legolas had entered, though seemed surprised to see her there. Which was odd - she was here most of the time.

“Lady Elanor, Durothil,” he said, bowing slightly. “Aragorn sent me to check on that mixture.”

“It is not ready yet, but soon. Perhaps before the end of the day. If you wish to wait,” the healer said. 

Legolas did not answer at first, his eyes moving from Durothil to Elanor.

“Of course, perhaps… you might wish to keep me company while I wait,” he said to her, his expression guarded as he waited for her response.

“We are finished,” Durothil said before she could reply. Elanor looked at him over her shoulder, seeing a small smile on his face as he shooed her out. It seemed the healer was either tiring of Elanor or, as she suspected was more likely, was attempting to meddle.

Either way, it would seem that she was now free from her duties.

“Shall we?” she asked, already walking towards him. The two stepped out of the building and started down the path at a leisurely pace. Neither spoke at first, instead enjoying the companionable silence and mild weather.

Still, just under that, Elanor could sense things left unsaid between them. It began to weigh heavy in the air, though just the thought of bringing up that day - thinking of her guilt - was enough to cause her to sputter and struggle for breath.

It was not as before, yes. She could spend time with Legolas without the memories haunting her and taking control. But she still was not to the point where she felt she could let go of her shame. But perhaps with a bit more time, she possibly could.

Glancing over at Legolas, she had to admit that without his arrival, she might not have made it to this point. She might have continued on living half a life. Allowing the shadow of her past to forever taint everything around her and burying it deep within her rather than addressing it. Learning to let go. 

But… he would be leaving. Very soon, in fact. Elanor still had not yet considered how she felt about this. 

“I sense something lays heavy on your mind,” Legolas said.

Elanor stopped, turning to face him as her heart raced slightly. She could not bring herself to talk about that day or the feelings she felt for him. But she could speak of other worries.

“I worry for you… and the others,” she confessed. “Soon you will set out to finish your quest and I know that many dangers lay ahead.” Legolas smiled softly.

“Do not fear for me, Elanor. I will do my best to aid the others in the Fellowship so that we can end the threat to Middle Earth and all survive,” he replied, remembering she had grown fond of the hobbits and was likely worried about them. She nodded in response, though her brow remained furrowed. No amount of telling her not to worry would ease her concerns. “Though I do wish I had my best soldier at my side, watching my back, as you once did.” 

“We both know that I have left that path. Besides… I am needed here,” she said quickly, feeling uncomfortable with the praise. She could not help as her experience at the training grounds from the other day floated back into her mind.

What good was a soldier who was terrified to touch their own weapons? Who could not protect others? 

“Yes, I know,” he said, watching her as though he were judging her response before speaking again. “I will miss our talks once we are gone.” 

Elanor could feel a distant flutter in her stomach at his words. It had been so long since she had experienced such a feeling. But then she saw something in his eyes that gave her pause. A sort of regret. Perhaps he was thinking back to that day. 

“As will I,” she answered honestly, hoping to assuage any guilt he might be feeling. “I have enjoyed these last few days reconnecting.” 

But then Legolas did something she did not expect - he reached out and took her hands, pulling her closer as he frowned at the ground. Elanor could sense there was something more that he wished to say, though she could not fathom what it might be. Especially something that had him frowning so intensely. She could almost see the argument going on in his mind.

Speak or not to speak.

“I know that it is difficult to discuss that day, but… I feel that I owe you an explanation,” he said. “It does not excuse my harshness, but… I was not myself.” He still did not look at her, carefully choosing his next words. Elanor did not speak nor move, though her heart began pounding. “We were all upset, but I… fear I let my emotions take control. I was not truly angry with you, Elanor. I was-”

“Legolas!”

Both elves turned, Elanor pulling her hands from his as annoyance painted Legolas’ features. Gimli rushed up to them, grinning brightly. While Elanor was curious what he meant to say, part of her was relieved for the interruption. She was not sure her heart could handle whatever it was, it was beating so fast.

“I have found you,” the dwarf said triumphantly before bowing towards Elanor. “My lady.”

“Master Gimli,” she replied. 

“Yes, Gimli?” Legolas said, barely hiding his irritation.

“Aragorn asked me to seek you. We must discuss many things before we leave,” Gimli said, turning back to him. “He asks that we hurry.” 

“Yes, of course,” Legolas said. He then turned to Elanor, but when Gimli made no move to leave, rather looking back and forth between the two elves with a grin, Legolas shot him a look. The dwarf chuckled and turned, starting to walk away, yet both knew that he would return if Legolas should not follow. “Could I perhaps visit later today?”

“Yes,” Elanor said. He smiled and then reached for her hand, lifting it to his lips.

“Until then,” he said after leaving a soft kiss on her knuckles. Elanor could feel the flush entering her cheeks again and only managed a nod as he released her hand and turned to follow Gimli. 

She stood and watched as they walked away, her heart still pounding as she wondered just what the elf prince wished to say.

~~~

As it would happen, Legolas did not come that night. When he did not come the next morning, Elanor set out to find him on her own, too anxious to wait any longer, though still slightly terrified of what he would say. She had spent all night going back and forth over whether she wanted to hear it. But eventually Elanor had come to the conclusion that if it was important to Legolas, then she must.

This was making peace with her past, was it not? Airing out everything so that they could both move forward. Even if it might bring pain at first, ultimately it would be good for her. Even as she told herself these things, Elanor could not help as the worry coursed through her.

She made her way to the clearing where the Fellowship would often relax and found it empty, save for the hobbits.

“Lady Elanor!” Merry shouted, being the first to see her approach. She smiled warmly, masking her disappointment at not finding Legolas there.

“Good day,” she said, looking at the four as they made their way to her. “Where are the others in your company?”

“Ah, Strider has them working on preparations for the rest of our journey,” Merry said, obviously happy to be left out of such work. “We haven’t seen much of them ourselves all day and do not know when they will return.”

“Oh,” Elanor said, hoping that she was masking her further disappointment. But as she looked at the happy faces that surrounded her, she decided she would keep the hobbits company. And then perhaps she could speak to Legolas when he returned from whatever tasks Aragorn had set for him.

She walked over and sat on a stump, smoothing her skirts. 

“Just what have you been doing to keep yourselves entertained then?” she asked. 

“Ehm, not much, to be honest,” Pippin said. Elanor looked around the group, noting they all seemed a bit restless. 

“Well… I have shared many stories with you of Lothlorien and Mirkwood, but I am curious to hear more of the Shire. Perhaps you could divulge more stories of your home,” she said, smiling.

Merry and Pippin brightened at this suggestion and soon were in the midst of bickering over who would go first and what story they should tell first. Elanor, though amused, took the time to study Sam and Frodo, who remained quiet and out of the fray. Sam seemed more concerned with speaking softly to Frodo, who was looking wearier than before.

Elanor couldn’t help but be concerned, wondering if he had been eating and sleeping well. Her healer instincts called out for her to tend to him, though she was not sure that he would want that. Of all the hobbits, he seemed the quietest most withdrawn and she still did not have a good sense of him. But after a few moments of further study, she could not help herself.

“Master Frodo, are you well?” she asked as Merry and Pippin continued on, neither hearing her. The dark-haired hobbit looked at her in slight surprise.

“Oh, yes. I just have not been sleeping well,” he said.

“Perhaps I could bring you something to help,” she suggested.

“Lady Elanor is a healer,” Sam added. “She can help.” Frodo frowned as he looked at Sam and then back at Elanor.

“It is no burden to me,” she said. “I would like to help if I can.” Frodo seemed to consider this and then nodded.

“If it is no trouble,” he said. Elanor smiled warmly and stood.

“I shall return shortly. I hope that you two will have determined who will start by then?” she said, directly her gaze to Merry and Pippin, who finally quieted down.

“Yes,” Merry said brightly, though shot another scowl at Pippin. 

Elanor chuckled and then quickly made her way to the house of healing. Durothil was not there, nor were any other healers, which Elanor found odd. But rather than ponder on why, she walked to the storeroom and began browsing through the shelves for a powder that could be taken in one’s tea to help induce a restful sleep.

Once she had located the concoction and put some in a small container, she turned and was about to leave when she heard Durothil’s voice. For whatever reason, she chose to remain in the storeroom rather than make her presence known.

“I will need to seek more ingredients before I can replenish my supply,” Durothil said. “Our guests are taking the last of it with them and I felt it prudent to allow them. They will likely run into more harm where they are going than your guard on our borders. At least for now.”

“Of course,” Haldir said. “I understand. There is no need to rush.”

“You know… you should attempt to sway Elanor to join you. It would be beneficial to have a good healer on your patrols. Not that I doubt Allain’s abilities, but she would be of use,” Durothil said.

“I do not think it fair to ask such a thing of her,” Haldir said. Elanor frowned as she stepped closer to the door, peering out into the room and wondering why her mentor would suggest such a thing. She saw Haldir standing with the healer and his brother Orophin, who chuckled. While Haldir’s back was to her, she could clearly see Orophin and Durothil’s faces.

“You do coddle her, Haldir,” Orophin said lightly. Elanor could tell that the comment displeased the marchwarden from the tensing of his shoulders and stiffening of his body. 

“You think that I have not asked her to join us?” Haldir said briskly. “She refuses and I will not push her further. She will make that decision when she is ready.”

“You know more than most that we will need all our best fighters before this is over,” Orophin said, turning slightly serious. “Or are you trying to protect her? Keep her within the city where it is safe in the hopes she will finally wed you?”

Elanor’s eyes widened slightly as her heart stopped for a moment. Surely it was just another jest between brothers. And surely they were not speaking of a battle here within these lands. Her aunt had seen to it that they were well protected.

“She does not wish to fight, you know this, Orophin,” Haldir said tiredly. “Perhaps someday I could convince her of joining us as a healer, but I will not push her on it, nor to fight.” 

“Ah, but you still wish to wed her,” Orophin said with a laugh. Haldir did not respond. 

“Regardless, Orophin is right. There very well may come a time when we are called upon to aid the kingdoms of men once more. And you will need all of your strongest soldiers,” Durothil said. “And healers. She may not wish to right now, but I feel as though Elanor’s path does not remain here in Lothlorien. Her aunt and I have spoken at length on this.” 

Elanor looked to the ground, beginning to feel lightheaded. Her? Fight? Again? Leave Lothlorien? No, she could not do this. No, her hands were made to heal, not to take life. Even just thinking upon the weapons in her chest made it difficult to breathe, as did the idea of leaving her haven.

She could not even stomach the idea of returning to Mirkwood just yet. How could she go out and lend her aid in a battle in kingdoms that she had never seen?

“I thought the Lady of the Wood, of all people, would understand why she does not wish to fight or leave,” Haldir replied. Durothil sighed heavily.

“We all care for her and wish for her progress to continue, but even you must know that the time will come when we must all do that which strikes fear in our hearts,” Durothil said. “Even Elanor.”

Elanor’s mind began to hum and whirl. What were they speaking of? The Lady of the Wood was known for seeing into the future, but she had never mentioned anything to Elanor about her own future beyond Lothlorien. What had she seen that she was keeping from her and how did it involve the impending war?

But then she thought of Orophin’s comments. Haldir wished to wed her? Surely not. He had said no such thing to her. But even as she grasped onto that thought, centuries of memories fluttered through her mind. Of looks and comments. Tender touches that lingered before he quickly looked or moved away. Things hidden in his eyes.

As much as she tried to tell herself that it was yet another of Orophin’s jests, she found that she could not.

“I believe that above all, Elanor must be allowed to make decisions of her own accord and it is not my place to order her to do anything of which she does not wish to do,” Haldir said. There was tense silence between the elves and Elanor once again peered around the doorway and saw a pained expression on Durothil’s face. He reached out and touched Haldir’s shoulder.

“Yes, of course,” he replied.

“If that is all, there are things I must attend to,” Haldir said. Without waiting for a response, he turned and walked out, Orophin following as he shook his head. 

“You should just tell her…”

Elanor did not hear the rest as the two brothers moved out of earshot. Elanor remained hidden, not wishing to speak to Durothil or anyone at that moment, but she did not wish to remain in the house of healing either. Thankfully, it was not long after that the healer left as well, allowing her the chance to make her escape.

Elanor quickly made her way through the city to her home, not stopping until she was alone in her rooms. She began pacing as her mind ran in various directions, attempting to dissect everything that she had overheard. But above the desire to understand what they were speaking of, the fear managed to slither in. She stopped pacing as she looked over at a chest against the wall.

No, she would not. She could not. She did not possess the strength that she once did.

It grew difficult to breathe as Elanor fell into a nearby chair, her entire body beginning to shake. She closed her eyes as she heard the distant clang of metal and the metallic smell of blood seeped into her nose. 

_“ELANOR!”_

_“FENRIS! NO!”_

Her eyes shot open as she shook her head.

“I cannot,” she murmured over and over. 

It was then that she looked down, seeing that she was still tightly holding onto the small container of powder meant to help Frodo sleep. In her flight, she had forgotten that she promised to return shortly with it. But now, she could not bring herself to leave her rooms. Taking a shaky breath, she stood and walked to the door. 

She would not let the poor hobbit down, deciding to send a servant to deliver it. Though part of her longed to take some herself so that she could fall into a deep, dreamless sleep and not wake up until this entire war was over with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written and rewritten that conversation she overhears a number of times before finally getting something down that I’m happy with. Dialogue, man… so hard. Just finishing Chapter 20 so still good to post once a day for now, I believe. I can FINALLY start working on all-new chapters going forward and I’m sooo happy about this. Only five more chapters left to write and then the story is done.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Hours later, Elanor had found herself leaving her home, intending to walk among the trees and clear her mind. The conversation she had unintentionally overheard played over and over again and left her drained and feeling as though she was walking through fog. 

She was not sure which part was more overwhelming. The idea that she would be drawn into this fight at some point, pulled away from her safe haven for the last 100 years. Or that the ellon she had considered a close friend and savior had been harboring something deeper than friendship for her for years and she had been blind to it all. 

What’s more, he knew everything about her past. How she had been - still was - in love with Legolas. Haldir knew that he would never possess her heart and he still stayed at her side and helped her. But then, what if he had only done such things in the hopes that she might turn away from the Prince? That she might eventually turn to him instead? 

Such thoughts were ridiculous, she then quickly decided. Haldir did not have a selfish bone in his body and would never do such a thing for his own egotistical desires.

It was confusing and had turned her safe, quiet world upside down as she struggled to grasp onto all the various things flying through her mind. While she was still worried about the Fellowship and what it was that Legolas wished to tell her, she could not focus on any one thing. 

Everything ran round and round in her mind without ceasing.

It was then that she stopped in her walk, noticing that her feet had taken her to the training grounds. Gulping, Elanor was not sure why she would end up here. But then again, there had once been a time when she used sparring and training as a way to work through her thoughts and frustrations. Perhaps her mind was grasping to old habits as a way to cope.

She looked down the path through the trees to the grounds, then upon a figure making its way towards her. She froze when she made out Haldir in the growing dark.

“Elanor. What brings you here?” he asked, immediately worried as he took in her state. She must look wretched, Elanor realized. She had been crying for some time, running her fingers through her hair constantly as she paced about her room. Haldir immediately rushed up to her. “What is the matter?”

“How long?” she asked softly, finding they were the first words to spill out her lips. She was not sure why she would ask that or what she would accomplish by learning the answer, but more than anything, Elanor realized that she needed the truth right now. First this, then on other matters.

“How long?” Haldir repeated, confused.

“How long have you been in love with me?” she whispered. Haldir’s eyes widened a moment before he sighed and shook his head.

“If you heard this from Orophin, you must pay no heed. You know how he is,” he said, attempting to cover his surprise with a weak smile.

“I overheard you in the house of healing,” she replied, keeping her gaze steady. “When you spoke with Orophin and Durothil.” Haldir froze once more then looked around the path.

“Follow me,” he said, starting to turn. Elanor did not move at first, but when he stopped to see if she was following, she found her feet moving towards him.

He did not speak until they were deep in the woods along the outskirts of the training grounds, far from the eyes and ears of others. While Elanor came to a stop, Haldir walked a bit further, pacing slightly and unable to meet her eyes.

“How long?” she asked again.

He stopped pacing and looked at her, his face full of agony. It was so strong that she could almost feel it wafting from him. Part of her wished to reach out and comfort him. But she did not, knowing that she was partially to blame for this torture.

“Truthfully… I am not sure,” he replied. “I thought perhaps it was just admiration, but then… I realized shortly before your mother died that… what I felt for you ran much deeper. But I could say nothing, for I knew where your heart truly lay.” 

Elanor nodded, looking away as she began to wring her hands. She had asked. But she was not sure she wanted to know more. And really, what good did it do to know more? It would only inflict more injury to Haldir to force him to speak on it further.

“All this time,” she found herself murmuring. 

“I never wished for you to find out. I had intended to…”

“Suffer in silence,” Elanor completed for him, finally willing herself to meet his eyes. He nodded. “It seems we are far more alike than I thought.” 

“All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, Elanor. Whether it was with me or otherwise, it mattered not,” he said. “When you showed up that day, beyond broken, I felt as though part of me broke as well. I wanted nothing more than to aid you. Heal you. In whatever way I could. To see you smile and flourish again.” 

“Everything you have done… it was out of love,” she said. 

“Yes… but I assure you, I had no aspirations. Orophin and Rumil, you know how they like to tease,” Haldir said. Elanor nodded, once again looking away as it was too difficult to maintain his gaze. “I am so sorry, Elanor.”

“There is no need to apologize. You have done nothing wrong and you are allowed to feel what you feel,” she replied. “It is I who should be apologizing…” 

“But you have done nothing wrong as well,” he said. She glanced over, noticing that he had taken a few steps closer to her. “I knew before I realized my true feelings for you that you belonged to another. Again, I truly did intend to never tell you. I did not wish to ruin the friendship that we have.” 

“But still… you have kept things from me. Things beyond this,” she said, once again willing herself to look at him and feeling more and more discomfort the longer they spoke of love. “You know more about this darkness that threatens to swallow us all.”

“I only know that the time of the elves is ending and that of man draws near,” he said. “That there may come a time when we must honor old allegiances. You know this as well. It was only through men and elves working together that Sauron was defeated before.” 

“I do,” she replied, willing her voice to stay strong, though she could not help as a sliver of fear ran through her. 

She had not been through a war. Had left for Lothlorien before the Battle of the Five Armies. Was not alive during the last great war. But now suddenly, all she could see before her was a large expanse of land covered in dead bodies as Mount Doom erupted in the background. 

This war could likely kill them all.

She gasped slightly, stumbling back. Immediately, Haldir had his arms around her, steadying her.

“I wish that you will not have to see such things,” he murmured. Elanor looked up, meeting his eyes. “You do not have to fight in this war. You have a choice.”

“But… if it will consume everyone, everything, how can I not?” she whispered back. Haldir leaned down, resting his forehead against hers as she held on to him tightly, finding he was the only thing keeping her grounded.

She was still befuddled by his admission, but in her heart, she knew that it did not change anything. Haldir had helped to save her from herself. And would continue to do anything and everything in his power to protect her and keep her from harm.

For a moment, Elanor allowed her thoughts to wander down that path. What if she agreed to bind herself to him? True, she could not love him the way he wished. That he deserved. But they could be happy, could they not? He had been so good to her. Patient. Kind. She would want for nothing. 

But then Legolas’ face appeared in her mind. Despite it all, she was still deeply in love with him and knew that her heart would accept no one but him. And she knew how deeply unfair it would be to Haldir in the end.

Elanor took a deep, shuddery breath, staring up into Haldir’s grey eyes. She then lifted up, pressing her lips gently against his as a tear slipped down her cheek. It was not much - not what Haldir deserved - but it was all she could give. There was understanding in his eyes as she pulled away from him.

“You cannot save me from everything,” she said. Haldir nodded, a sad smile appearing as he brushed her hair back from her face. 

“But that will not stop me from trying,” he said. Elanor rested her head on his shoulder, allowing him to hold her a bit longer. “And… it is not too late for you.” 

Elanor frowned as she backed away from him, unsure of what he meant.

“You can still tell him, Elanor,” Haldir said. She shook her head, her heart seizing in fear. “I have seen the way he looks at you. I do not think all is lost with the Prince. You said yourself that he never bound himself to Tauriel.” 

Elanor blinked rapidly as she shook her head again. She opened her mouth to speak, but found no words came forth. Surely her chance had passed. 

“You do not have much time. Tell him, Elanor. Before he leaves. You will regret it if you do not,” Haldir said. 

“But… what about you?” she asked without thinking. Haldir smiled again.

“I will be where I always am. At your side as a dear friend and nothing more,” he said. “All I ever wanted was your happiness.” 

Elanor swallowed as she thought it over. Did she have the strength to finally tell Legolas? To lay bare her heart in the hopes that he might feel the same? It was true - they did not have much time before the Fellowship left. And it was not certain that she would get this chance again. 

Had the Valar brought them together for _this_ reason?

“I shall think upon it,” she said. Haldir nodded, though she could sense some frustration in his eyes. 

“I beg you, do not wait too long,” he urged. He then stepped away from her but offered his arm. “It is late. Shall I escort you home?”

“Yes… of course…”

~~~

The world had faded to nothingness as Legolas made his way back to his lodgings, neither hearing nor seeing anyone around him. He had sought out Elanor, eager to speak with her. He had been undecided on just how much he would say, still conflicted over what he had seen between her and Haldir. 

But ultimately what mattered was that their friendship was reforged. And that from here she would hopefully learn to truly forgive herself. For it was not her fault that Fenris had died – it was his. 

If the moment arose where he could tell her his true feelings for her, then so be it. But that was not the ultimate goal of this meeting.

He had made his way towards her home, but then stopped, seeing her walking through the city, a troubled look on her face as she wandered aimlessly. He had hurried to catch up to her, but she then had run into the marchwarden upon the path and he quickly led her away, deeper into the woods.

While part of Legolas thought he should make his exit as this matter did not involve him, he could not help as his feet led him down the path behind them. And then, once he had found them, he wished that he had not followed.

Legolas watched as the two stood staring at each other, his heart seizing. He tried to look away, knowing that it would only cause more pain, but he could not. Even though they were speaking so softly that he could not hear, what was happening was clear in Haldir’s eyes and the way he was looking at Elanor. He could not see her face, though imagined the same love was pouring from her eyes.

The marchwarden took her in his arms, holding her close until finally, she kissed him. It was then that Legolas finally looked away, agony coursing through his veins. He felt as though his heart had been ripped from his chest. 

True, he had had his suspicions, but seeing strong evidence of their love for each other, had torn him apart. There was no way to deny it now. And it was what he deserved, after all. A fitting punishment.

He knew now that he could never tell Elanor what was truly on his heart. For she had obviously given hers to Haldir. The last thing he wished to make things more complicated between them.

No, the best thing to do would be to step aside and allow her to be happy with the one she had so clearly chosen.

But still a war waged within him, for he wanted to speak to her before they left, tell her the truth for it very well could be his last chance. 

“Legolas,” Gimli called out, seeing his approach. 

“Not now, Gimli,” he said, not looking to the dwarf as he continued on to his temporary dwelling.

“Legolas,” Aragorn then called out, but still he ignored the Fellowship, not stopping until he was in his room. 

Not since that day had he ever allowed his emotions to slip out of his control. He had learned the hard way just what damage it could do and now he was reaping the bitter seeds that he had sown.

For he knew now that Elanor could never love him.

If only he could go back to the days when he still had hope.

~~~

_Legolas continued to pace around in the courtyard, his brow furrowed as his mind rushed in circles._

_How did one go about telling their closest friend and companion that they were in love with them? No, how did one go about telling Elanor that you were in love with her?_

_Flowers would not do. Nor sonnets or other more traditional acts. They had spent many times laughing over such frivolities. But at the same time, he felt as though he was just on the cusp of it. Shouldn’t he know? He knew her better than anyone. And she him._

_“I sense that something weighs heavy on your mind, my prince.”_

_Legolas stopped pacing and looked over at Tauriel as she stepped in the courtyard. Yes, perhaps she could help. She was an elleth after all, fought on the guard. She might know how best to speak with Elanor._

_“I am in need of help,” he said, rushing up to her. Tauriel stepped back, a look of confusion on her face. “I am in love.”_

_“I am afraid there is no cure for that, Legolas,” she quipped in response._

_“That is not what I mean,” he nearly growled already pacing again. “I do not know how to tell her.”_

_“Perhaps you should approach the elleth in question and simply say… I am in love with you,” Tauriel suggested. Legolas shot her a dark look. “Or… perhaps not.”_

_“Why must this be so difficult?” he moaned. “I cannot stop thinking of her. And it is getting harder to hide my feelings from her.”_

_“Why must you hide them?” Tauriel then asked. Legolas stopped and looked over at her then sighed heavily._

_“I know not if she returns my affections,” he replied. “She is rather friendly… with another ellon.”_

_“Do you know for sure if she loves him?” Tauriel then asked. Legolas shook his head._

_“But sometimes I think I see it,” he said. “But… I am not sure.”_

_“Again, I suggest you come clean to her. Seems to be the obvious solution,” Tauriel said matter-of-factly._

_“But shouldn’t I… woo her?” Legolas asked. Tauriel just blinked in response._

_“I am not sure… I have not really thought of such things,” she said._

_“Wouldn’t you prefer to be wooed?” Legolas asked. “You are an elleth, are you not?” Tauriel snorted and then chuckled._

_“I honestly have not considered such things. Though I suppose were I to fall in love, I would simply want to hear that he loves me as well,” she said. Legolas considered her words._

_They did make sense, in a way. He and Elanor had been nothing but honest with each other. Held no secrets. But at the same time, he could not get the picture of Elanor and Fenris out of his mind. The two of them leaning close to each other, whispering. The way she smiled and laughed at whatever it was he had been saying._

_She had been hiding this from him, he could not help but think._

_“I am not so sure that is the way,” he finally said. He looked over at Tauriel, seeing an exasperated look come over her face._

_“Then I am not so sure that I can aid you in this endeavor,” she said._

_“But you must, please, Tauriel,” he said, walking over to her and taking her hands in his. “Please, help me.” Tauriel stared at him a moment before sighing and shaking her head._

_“Fine…”_

~~~

Legolas was not sure how long he had sat in the clearing deep into the woods by himself. But the moon was high in the sky and he knew that he should get some sleep. But sleep would not come. 

Looking over, he heard steps moving towards him. Soon, Aragorn walked into the clearing. 

“I sense that something ails you,” he said, making his way over to his friend. Legolas looked up at the sky through the trees. 

“I cannot sleep,” he admitted. Aragorn sat on the log next to him.

“Perhaps if you spoke about it. I find I am good at listening,” Aragorn replied. Legolas continued to stare up at the sky, unsure if he wished to tell the man everything. But at the same time, perhaps it would help ease his mind.

“I have spoken to you of Elanor,” Legolas said. Aragorn grunted his affirmative. “What I did not tell you is that there is nothing in this life – this world – that I cherish more than her. She has stolen my heart.”

Aragorn did not speak. He had sensed as much.

“That day she left… it was because of me. My words and my actions,” Legolas said. He paused for a moment before starting into the tale. Aragorn remained silent throughout, allowing the elf to speak.

“I pushed her away. And now… she has given her heart to another,” Legolas said, finally stopping a moment. “It is what I deserve, but yet the pain is great. For now, I realize there is truly no hope for us.”

“You have much history with her. Were once close to her,” Aragorn said.

“Yes. And I still long to be close to her again. But this… this is greater pain than I have felt before. And it is entirely my own doing. I have come to reap the consequences of my actions,” Legolas said. “I had hoped to tell her… before we left. Though I suppose it is good that I have not. I do not wish to distress her more than I already have.”

Aragorn was quiet, pondering over everything that Legolas had said. He knew all too well the pain of not being with the one you loved. There was no hope for him as well and every day he was away from Arwen - knowing that she was going somewhere where he could not follow - only increased the pain. 

Even the importance of the quest they were currently on was at times not enough to fend off the heartache. 

He looked over at Legolas, finding that despite his calm exterior, there was a deep torment in his eyes. One that would likely never fade, for when the elves fell in love, it was on such a deep level that one could fade from the heartbreak alone. 

Legolas was cursed to forever feel this love for Elanor and the ache of her rejection. 

“I am foolish, forgive me, Aragorn,” Legolas said before he could respond. “I should not be so concerned of such things. Not now.” Aragorn sighed as he placed his hand on the elf’s shoulder and squeezed. 

“You are not foolish. The heart is a very complex, sometimes overwhelming thing. It will feel what it chooses, towards whom it chooses,” Aragorn said. Legolas met his eyes and nodded. “But what makes a good man is what you decide to do about such things… make your peace and then… allow her to find her own.”

Legolas nodded again. Aragorn then stood, Legolas following suit.

“Come, it is late and we have much to do tomorrow,” Aragorn said.

“Of course…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I haven’t had much time to write as I’ve been trying to get my magazine ready for print this week. But thought I would go ahead and post another chapter regardless since I’m still a fair way ahead in writing. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Elanor stood in the trees, watching as the rest of the Fellowship ate and made merry. It was the night before they were to leave Lothlorien and she knew it was her final chance to speak with Legolas. But try as she might, whenever she attempted to seek him out, she could not find him.

Sighing, she turned to walk away, thinking perhaps she was wrong and this was a sign that she should keep her thoughts and feelings to herself. But rather than head back home, she decided to take a roundabout way there and allow the nature around her to ease her mind and soul. Elanor walked for some time before she then stopped abruptly as she saw him, sitting in a clearing among the roots of a large tree.

“Legolas,” she said, causing him to look up from the book he was reading. 

A look of slight panic crossed his face, though he quickly hid it as he stood. Elanor found it curious. Had he truly been avoiding her these last few days?

“I was looking for you,” she said as he drew near, though still kept some space between them. “I had hoped we could speak before you left. I feel there are… many things we have left unsaid.” 

Legolas studied her a moment before opening his mouth and then shutting it. Elanor could not fault him. For now that she was standing before him, it seemed words had failed her as well. 

Part of her mind, sounding oddly like Haldir, urged her to tell him. To utter those three words she had longed to say for centuries. The other part of her mind, this one sounding more sinister, hissed that she did not deserve to say such words. 

“I… there is something I must tell you,” she finally managed to say, looking to the ground as she closed her eyes. Her heart was pounding and she felt as though she might be sick, but she knew that she must do this.

“There is no need… I already know.”

Elanor’s eyes flew open as she looked to him. While she was not sure what sort of reaction to expect, sadness was not one. Legolas attempted to smile, but he could not hide the melancholy in his eyes. Perhaps this was because he was leaving tomorrow and she could not go with him.

“How?” she asked. 

“I overheard you and Haldir,” he said. “Though, I had suspected for a time.” Elanor nodded, her worry growing the longer he did not respond to her feelings. The look of anguish in his eyes only grew, causing a lump to form in her throat.

Blinking rapidly, Elanor struggled to control her emotions. Though she felt herself undeserving of Legolas’ affections, part of her did not wish to appear weak before him.

“It is good that this is now in the open,” Legolas continued. “I am… glad that I know before I continue on this journey.” Elanor continued to stare at him in confusion, not so sure where he was going with this. Did he love her or not? He looked to the ground for a few moments before meeting her eyes.

“I wish you all of life’s happiness, Elanor, here in Lothlorien,” he said. Legolas then walked over and kissed her forehead before turning and leaving her in the clearing. The pain increased in Elanor’s chest as she looked after him, watching as he made his way back to the Fellowship. 

She then turned and ran back to her home, not stopping until she was in her rooms. Once alone, she fell to her knees as her heart shattered into a million pieces. She thought she understood pain when she left Mirkwood, but this… this was far more excruciating.

Legolas knew that she loved him. And he had rejected her. While it was only a small hope that she possessed, the knowledge that it had been in vain was nearly too much for her soul to bear.

Elanor dropped her face into her hands as sobs began to wrack her body. Haldir had been wrong. They were all wrong.

~~~

Legolas made quick work of his pack. As they traveled light, there was no need to spend hours preparing to leave in the morning. But being unable to sleep, he found himself unpacking and then repacking, just to have something to occupy his thoughts and hands.

He could not get the look on Elanor’s face out of his mind. He knew that look. That she was about to say something distressing and he wanted to make it easier for her. There was more he had wished to tell her, but in the moment he thought it better for both of them if he walked away.

Left it at that and nothing more.

He could not help as he stepped towards the window and looked out at the silent city. Tomorrow he would leave this place and he knew not if he would survive this journey. 

But at least if he were die, he knew that Elanor would be safe and happy here in Lothlorien. 

~~~

Elanor stood tall on the upper banks of the river, watching as the last of the supplies were loaded into the boats. The Lady of the Wood had granted the Fellowship an audience, bestowing a gift upon each that would aid them on their journey. For a moment, she found herself nearly smiling as a look of awe came over Legolas’ face while he tenderly held his new bow. She had seen that look many times before.

But just as quickly, her smile drifted away. She had been up all night alternating between crying and drinking. She nearly refused to come see off the Fellowship, but knew that she would regret it, even if it felt like a knife plunging into her heart every time she looked at Legolas.

But it was for the hobbits that she had made herself presentable and stood there next to Haldir.

“Will you not speak to the Prince?” Haldir asked softly, leaning towards her.

“We have said everything there is to be said,” she replied dully. She could feel Haldir studying her, but she made no move to look at him.

As the Fellowship moved away from Galadriel and Celeborn, Legolas turned, his eyes meeting hers. For a moment, she was nearly overwhelmed, causing her to look away as she blinked back tears. She felt Haldir’s hand upon her back and looked up at him, seeing his apprehension.

“What is it, Elanor?” he asked.

“Lady Elanor!” she heard Merry shout. 

Pasting a smile on her face, she looked away from Haldir to the four hobbits as they made their way to her.

“You look rather fetching in your new cloaks,” she said. “I shall miss you all tremendously.”

“As shall we,” Pippin said. 

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Merry added.

Elanor studied each hobbit before bending down and kissing each on the cheek. 

“Safe journeys and know that you are always welcomed here,” she said, still smiling though it was getting harder to maintain. 

She did not know what the future held for these four, but she hoped and prayed that at the end of this, they would still be alive. It would be devastating to lose any of them though she only knew them a short time. 

“Now, hurry. Or you’ll be left behind,” she said. The hobbits bowed and then set off for the boats, their cloaks fluttering behind them. Elanor then glided to the shoreline.

“Do you think they will survive this?” she asked Haldir softly. 

“I should hope,” he replied. She nodded, watching as the boats set off down the river. She could not help as her eyes fell upon Legolas and she could not look away. Thankfully, Haldir did not push her on the matter though he sensed that she was upset.

Legolas turned and met her gaze, a lingering sadness in his expression. She dipped her head towards him that he returned before focusing on guiding the boat down the river. 

Elanor did not move nor speak until the four boats were out of sight. 

~~~

Elanor was not sure just how long she had been wandering, but she found that she could not yet return to her home, her soul restless now that Legolas had left. Though he had confessed that he knew of her feelings, had more than clearly shown that he did not return them, she could not help but feel as though she should have spoken more. She could not help as all the things left unsaid crowded her mind.

All the things that might never be said between them.

“Elanor.”

She stopped and turned, seeing Haldir walk up to her. She said nothing, only stepped into his arms and allowed the tears to finally fall. Haldir only held her, knowing how painful it must have been to watch the elf prince leave.

“What if I never see him again?” she whispered.

“You have to believe that you will,” he replied. Elanor stepped back and looked into his grey eyes. “You have made great strides, Elanor. I have to believe that the Valar will bring him back to you.” She nodded silently as she rested her head upon his chest again. She squeezed her eyes shut.

“He does not love me, Haldir,” she whispered, finally admitting to him the truth. “I spoke to him last night and… before I could even form the words, he said that he knew of my affections. Then did not return them.”

He said nothing, only tightened his arms around her, understanding the pain that she was currently feeling all too well. Though he could not help but be confused. He had thought surely the Prince loved her. He had seen the way his eyes followed her whenever the two were near each other. 

Something seemed off about Legolas saying he did not love Elanor, but it was too late now. He was gone. The best thing to do was what he had always done - be there to help put the pieces back together. 

“It may seem to be too much, but eventually… it becomes manageable,” he said. “This trial I am sure that you will overcome.” Elanor could not help as sobs finally broke forth from her lips.

She felt as though her heart was shattering into a thousand pieces all over again. 

“I am not so sure that I will ever overcome this,” she said. 

Haldir pulled away, lifting her chin up to look at him. There was warmth and understanding in his eyes. 

“You will,” he promised. 

Though she was grateful for his words, in that moment she felt as though it was impossible. 

~~~

_Elanor stumbled into her room and nearly collapsed as she gasped desperately for air. She stood, staring down at her dirty and bloody hands, then down at her tunic and armor, also covered in blood and muck. While most of it was the thick sludge that came from the orcs, she could clearly make out the brownish red smears that belonged to Fenris._

**_“How could you be so foolish!”_ **

_She sank to her knees as sobs broke forth, filling the silent room. It was true. Her foolishness had caused his death just as surely as if she had sank her own sword into his heart._

**_“A good soldier follows orders! How can I trust you when you will not follow me!”_ **

_She was no soldier. She had been selfish, wishing only to show off. To prove herself. And because of that, one of their own had paid the price._

_This was her doing._

**_“It is because of you that Fenris is dead!”_ **

_Elanor could barely breathe. All she could do was to cry and wail for the dear friend that was now gone. Perhaps someday she would see him again, but for now all she could think about was the fact that she would not see his playful smirk. Never would he tease her. He was gone and it was because of her mistake._

_“What is this?”_

_Elanor looked up, seeing her father come to the room and stop as he stared at her, a horrified look on his face. She braced herself, prepared for him to berate her. He never wanted her to join the guard in the first place._

_Instead, he rushed over and fell to his knees in front of her, taking her dirty and bruised face gently in his hands._

_“My most beloved daughter,” he said softly. “What is it that has you so broken?”_

_She took several breaths, attempting to regain control of herself, but she was unable to speak for a few moments. Her father did not speak, allowing her time._

_“Fenris,” she finally whispered. “He is gone… and I am to blame.” She met his eyes. “I thought myself a warrior, but I am not… I am… I am…” She broke down into sobs yet again as her father pulled her to him, holding her tightly despite the fact that she was still in her armor and covered in orc. “I did not listen… Legolas ordered me to fall back. To wait. And I did not. He cannot even look at me now.”_

_Ailmar rubbed her back, continuing to hold her close._

_“My dearest star,” he said softly._

_“I have seen death before, father, but this…”_

_“Shh, shh,” he murmured. Elanor leaned back and looked at her father, seeing no judgement in his eyes, only concern for his only child._

_“I cannot bear this shame, this guilt,” she said. “Legolas, he will never trust me again. I dare not trust myself.”_

_Ailmar reached up and gently wiped her tears from her cheek._

_“I do not believe that to be true,” he said. “You are a strong fighter, Elanor. It was only his grief speaking. Just as now you are speaking through yours.”_

_Elanor shook her head quickly, swallowing._

_“He said as much to me,” she said. “He said that it was my fault.” Ailmar stared at her a few moments longer before sighing. He then stood, pulling her up with him._

_“Come, my star,” he said. “Let us clean you up. And then… perhaps…” He stopped speaking, causing Elanor to worry. “It has been sometime since your last visit to Lothlorien. Perhaps it would help heal your soul if you were to stay with your mother’s kin for a time.”_

_Elanor only continued to stare at him. He wished to send her away?_

_“It is for you that I suggest this. You will not find healing here,” Ailmar said solemnly as he reached out and caressed her cheek. “You are so much like your mother… and I will miss you dearly, but perhaps some time away will clear your mind and your heart.”_

_Elanor gulped slightly, pondering on his words. Perhaps he was right. Being away from Mirkwood, being among her mother’s kin. That would help. More than that, she would not have to see the pain and accusations in Legolas’ eyes._

_Finally she nodded._

_“Yes,” she said. “I will go.”_

~~~

Elanor stood on the balcony of her room, the tears still pouring down her cheeks, though she was no longer sobbing. She breathed deeply as she closed her eyes and willed the memories away. But still they flooded her mind. The look in Legolas’ eyes when he said that it was her fault that Fenris died. The look on Fenris’ face as she dropped to her knees beside him, reaching out to touch him. 

_“What’s this, little Elanor? Tears for me? I won’t have that…”_

Even in his final moments, he had teased her. She opened her eyes and took deep breaths of cool clean air. She then thought to last night in the clearing, her heart twisting in pain.

_“I wish you all of life’s happiness, Elanor... here in Lothlorien.”_

How could she ever have thought that Legolas would love her? But it didn’t matter, because he was gone. There was nothing more that she could do or say. The only thing that she could do was to put her feelings aside and focus on the path ahead, wherever it might lead.

Wasn’t that what all this was truly about? Making amends with Legolas. Making peace with her past. Moving forward. It all seemed so impossible in that moment. All Elanor wanted to do was to curl up in her bed and never leave.

Perhaps her father was right and it was time to move to the Undying Lands. There was clearly nothing left here in Middle Earth for her. 

Though there was no sound, Elanor could feel Galadriel’s presence in the room. She turned and watched as her aunt glided towards her. Elanor found herself walking towards her outstretched arms, falling into them.

“Oh my dear, do not allow pain and fear to seize control of your heart,” Galadriel murmured into her hair. Elanor took a deep breath, but found more tears falling. 

“I cannot help it,” Elanor replied. “I feel that I am lost.”

“You are not lost. There is a path before you, you must only take it,” Galadriel said. Elanor stepped back and looked at her. “You are still young in so many ways, but yet you have conquered your own darkness. You will do it again.”

Galadriel reached up and wiped the tears from Elanor’s cheeks. 

“The heart may seem so fragile, but it is also strong. _Yours_ is strong,” Galadriel said. “You will need that strength as you go forward.” Elanor swallowed.

“Have you seen the path that I am to take?” she asked, her eyes searching her aunt’s face for some sort of answer. Was she to remain here in Lothlorien? Or set sail? 

Did she choose a life with Haldir even if it would never be what she truly wanted?

“You know what is coming, Elanor,” Galadriel said. “I cannot make this choice for you, but you must keep your mind - and your heart - open.” Galadriel looked over towards the chest against the wall, Elanor following her gaze. Her eyes widened as she realized what she was referring to and she looked back at Galadriel.

“Surely not,” she said, her voice shaky. 

“I see the fear in your eyes. You must not let it guide you any longer,” Galadriel said. “Have courage. Become the brave elleth that you once were. That you can be yet again.”

Elanor did not respond, only cast another glance towards the chest. 

“You know of what threatens this world, Elanor. You are no fool,” Galadriel continued. “You know the journey that the Fellowship must take. You will not follow that path exactly; this threat will push you down another. But it is a path that will lead you to peace. To forgiveness. To happiness. But only if you are brave enough to follow it.”

Elanor looked back at her aunt as she leaned forward and kissed her forehead. With a soft smile Galadriel let go of her and turned, leaving the room. Elanor stood there a few moments more, staring at the doorway.

Elanor was no stranger to her aunt speaking in riddles. But usually it was not to her. She then looked over to the chest that she had not touched in 100 years. She knew that it was fear that kept her from what lay inside. That had kept her from the training grounds. That kept her from speaking to Legolas openly. That had kept her here in Lothlorien. 

And for the first time 100 years, Elanor realized that she was tired of being afraid. 

A new strength began coursing through her, one that felt all at the same time familiar and strange. Turning, she strode to the chest and dropped to her knees in front of it. She then lifted the heavy lid and peered inside. Pulling out a few blankets, dresses and keepsakes, she sat them gently aside on the floor. She then turned and looked at the bottom, seeing the glint of the hilt. The taunt string of her bow. The worn leather of her quiver. 

Reaching down she wrapped her hand around the hilt and reverently pulled out her sword, holding it up. It had been so long since she last held it in her hand, but it was warm and comfortable. As though she were greeting an old friend. 

Surprisingly, there was no rush of memories. No flashbacks to that day. Only a desire to finally move forward down the path of life without fear holding her back. As Elanor continued to stare at the blade, she could not help as one thought filled her mind.

It was time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many apologies! I hadn’t forgotten about this story, just had to let it sit for a bit. Do some soul-searching with it. And then, I think I’ve decided I’ve got some rewriting to do, but in chapters after this, so thought the least I could do was post another. I’m working on the re-writes, but I can still post a few more chapters before I need to get that finalized. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and following! I promise I won’t wait so long for the next update. I’ve got a lot written on this one, just had to think on it a bit and – as I said – do some re-writing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Haldir stopped as he neared the training grounds early the next morning, hearing the soft rustle of someone running through the forest, followed by soft grunts. It was early and usually he was the only one here at this time, making preparations for the day. This was unusual.

Making his way across the large open space where many would spar and past the line of targets, he continued into the trees on the other side towards the course that every soldier had to complete before they were allowed on the guard. It was notoriously difficult and took some years to finally master it.

Haldir searched the branches of the trees before he finally saw a flash of golden hair and a lithe figure flying from one large branch to another, landing nimbly before taking off to the next part of the course. His eyes widened in shock as he stood there, watching as Elanor made her way through the course.

Her eyes and body were fully focused on the task at hand as she made her way through the course with relative ease. While it was clear that she was not yet what she once was, the skill was still there. All she needed was a bit of time and practice. 

She soared through the next obstacle and Haldir felt as though his own heart was soaring with her. Finding Elanor not only on the training grounds, but actually training, was a welcomed surprise.

Haldir continued to stand quietly, watching and not wanting to interrupt her concentration. But she must have sensed his presence, for she looked over at him suddenly, losing her concentration on the last section of the course and faltering in her footing. But she managed to recover, flipping off the log suspended up in the air between the trees and landing softly on the ground not far from him.

Elanor then stood and made her way towards him, an errant curl having come loose from the long braid down her back. Her blue eyes widened in surprise, but her expression then melted into a warm smile. 

“Haldir,” she said, slightly breathless and wearing the armor that she had arrived in from Mirkwood. He had not seen it since that day he met her on the borders of Lothlorien that day and led her to Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. “What brings you here so early?”

“I planned to prepare the training grounds. I could ask of you the same,” he said.

Elanor stopped just a few feet from him and looked back up at the course, not speaking a few moments. 

“While I may not know just which path I am to take at the moment and my heart is still heavy and broken, I felt it best not to let fear guide me any longer,” she said, looking back at him. “Felt like this was the best place to start.”

Haldir could only stand there and smile, his heart soaring. Elanor had come to these lands broken and weak, seeking healing and peace, but the elleth standing before him exuded a calm strength that he had longed to see again. Her blue eyes were now alight with a fire that he had not seen roaring through her in such a long time.

A fire that he had worried he might never see again.

“It is good to hear you say such things. Even better to see you here,” he said. “You appear to have retained much of your skill. Very few make it through the course on their first try.” Elanor chuckled.

“You flatter me, Haldir. What makes you think that was my first try? I’ve been here since before the sun rose, hoping to get through at least once before the others arrived. I did not wish to fail in front of a crowd,” she replied. She glanced around up in the branches again. “I believe that was my fourth go… Fell the first few times...”

Haldir’s eyes widened slightly before he began chuckling again. Elanor turned back to him, frowning slightly.

“I have been out of this sort of thing for 100 years, may I remind you,” she said. “I am surprised that it did not take me longer.”

“That is not why I laugh, Elanor,” Haldir said. “Even still, it usually does not take one so short a time to get through it.”

“Oh,” Elanor said. She glanced around again and then shrugged. “Suppose since you are here, I could stand to use a bit of help. To get me into shape before the next patrol.” She started back towards the field, passing him as she headed towards where she had put down her weapons. 

Haldir nearly gaped at her as he turned, even more shocked. It was almost as though someone or something had possessed her overnight. Just yesterday, Elanor could barely keep herself together, her soul nearly destroyed by Legolas’ rejection. For years she had refused to train, look at or even touch a weapon. And now she seemed at ease as she reached down and picked up her sword, quickly fastening it on.

“Haldir?” she called out, interrupting his thoughts. 

“Are you sure that you are well, Elanor?” he asked, walking up to her.

“Perfectly fine, though I fear I am slightly sore,” she confessed. He only continued to study her. “I told you. I do not wish to allow fear to control me anymore. I will fight against it with all my strength.”

“And you wish to join the guard,” he stated. For a brief moment, there was a flicker of fear in her eyes, but just as quickly, resolve filled her eyes.

“I do,” she said. “I am still shattered, but I feel as though this is the best way to put the pieces back together. To find my purpose in all this. And despite it all, I am still grateful that I had the opportunity to make amends with Legolas while he was here.”

Haldir remained silent a bit longer before nodding and smiling slightly at her.

“Very well. Let’s get started, shall we,” Haldir said, walking out into the middle of the field and pulling his own sword out. “I’ll not take it easy on you.” He flashed her a smile as Elanor walked over to him, unsheathing her sword.

“Good. I should not wish you to,” she replied.

~~~

Elanor could think of nothing but getting back to her room and sinking into a warm bath. The last few days of training had been rather brutal. Haldir spoke truth when he said that he would not take it easy on her, but Elanor was grateful. 

She needed to push herself if she wished to get back into form. And it was a good distraction from everything else. She paused from looking over her sword, her gaze turning towards the direction of the river. She could not help the prick of pain in her heart as she thought of the Fellowship and ultimately Legolas. 

How far had they gotten? Were they safe? 

For a moment, Elanor forgot herself as she felt a sense of foreboding slide through her veins. She did not have the gift of foresight, but there was something that made her think that something very big, very bad was coming. And she had no idea what it could be.

“Good work, Elanor.”

She turned, seeing an elf with long, light brown hair walk up to her, a comfortable smile on his face. She nodded in return, smiling slightly as she sheathed her sword. 

“Thank you, Braen,” she replied. While she did not know him too well, they were familiar as he was often Haldir’s second-in-command. When she was not training with Haldir, she had worked with him and the two had struck up an easy camaraderie. 

“Haldir says that you are to join us on the next patrol,” he continued. Elanor glanced around, noticing that they were garnering more than a few looks. She had hoped the novelty would wear off after her first day, but she still seemed to be generating more than a bit of interest from the others on the guard.

“I am,” she replied, once again swallowing the anxiety that threatened to well up when she thought too much about going out into the woods with the others. “Though I wonder if I am truly ready.”

“You are,” Braen said, a friendly smile filling his face. “More than ready, I should think.” 

“You are too kind,” she said, reaching down for her bow and quiver, then pulling them on her back. 

“I only speak the truth,” Braen said. “I would inform you if I found you lacking in any way.” Elanor chuckled as the two fell into a leisurely pace, leaving the training grounds and making their way into the city. Elanor glanced over, sensing there was more Braen wished to say to her. 

“You may speak openly with me,” she said. He glanced at her and then back to the path ahead of them.

“You know that Haldir cares greatly for you,” he stated. Elanor’s eyebrows rose. She had not expected him to speak of this. Had Haldir spoken about her often? She could not help as she felt heat pool in her cheeks. “He is a good leader. Strong. But he still worries. Doubts himself. He does not think himself worthy enough at times.”

“Worthy enough?” Elanor questioned, feeling slightly lightheaded. Braen stopped, turning to face her, causing her to stop as well.

“For you,” he said simply. Elanor’s eyes widened. How could that be? Haldir was a far better person than she was. Infinitely patient and kind. He had helped her in so many ways without any regard for himself. “Have you never considered him?”

“I… I have considered no one,” Elanor said, frowning slightly. She did not wish to discuss this with Braen, though she respected him. And she was not sure just how much he knew about her. 

“I only ask this because I know that he will not ask it of you himself, but consider him. He deserves happiness, as do you,” Braen said. “I see you together and it is clear there is fondness there. A connection. Be open to it.” 

Without another word, Braen bowed to her and then walked off down the path, leaving Elanor alone with her thoughts.

What had just happened?

~~~

A few days later, Elanor stood in the flet, looking out towards the large plain just beyond the edge of the forest surrounding Lothlorien. Standing there in the peaceful quiet, she could not help but wonder why she had allowed herself to wallow in darkness and fear for so long. So far, guarding the borders of Lothlorien seemed to be far calmer than it had in Mirkwood. Though that could possibly be because the area it occupied was far smaller. The past few days had been uneventful, thought they gave Elanor a chance to get to know the others on the guard.

Though part of that was because she felt a bit of awkwardness with Haldir after Braen spoke to her. She had not brought it up with Haldir, nor had Braen said anything more to her on the topic. But despite her attempts to hide her thoughts, she knew that Haldir could sense something was off.

But beyond that, ever the taskmaster, Haldir took every opportunity he could to work with Elanor, the two often sparring when they were not on watch up in the trees. And when she was not doing that, Orophin or Rumil would goad her into some sort of contest. At first they beat her every time, but Elanor’s competitive streak seemed to have roared back to life and the last few times she had beaten both brothers soundly. Enough that they had backed off for the time being, though Haldir had sent them off with their own patrols to guard sections of the borders. Elanor wasn’t sure if it was so that all of them would focus on their job or if it was to give her respite.

Glancing down the ladder, she noticed Haldir climbing up, then slowly walked back over to the edge of the flet and dropped to sit on the edge. She figured it was about time he sought her out when they were alone.

“How fare the others?” she asked, hearing him climb onto the platform.

“Well,” he said, moving to sit on the edge next to her. “All is quiet along this stretch. And I have not heard from Rumil or Orophin, which usually means they have seen nothing in their sections either.”

The two sat in silence a few moments, Elanor glancing over at him. Haldir appeared calm, though he finally took a deep breath.

“Have I done something to offend you?” he asked. 

“No,” Elanor said quickly.

“Then what is it that has had you avoiding being alone with me the last few days?” he asked. Elanor frowned, wondering if she should say anything. Of course, she knew that she needed to answer his question, but she was not sure if she should tell him the truth.

The last few days had been rather confusing as she pondered Braen’s words. Of course she was not in love with Haldir and he knew this. Knew that her heart was with Legolas and always would be. But more and more she wondered if perhaps her path forward was with Haldir.

“Braen spoke with me. He asked that I consider… a life with you,” she finally said, deciding it was best not to hide things from him. Haldir was silent for so long that she finally looked over at him.

His brow was furrowed as he looked down into the branches of the trees. 

“He had no right to speak to you of that,” he said.

“Do not blame him. He is a good and loyal friend to you. He only sought your happiness,” she said. Haldir looked up at her, his expression unreadable. “Mine as well.” 

“But it distressed you,” he said. Elanor sighed and looked back out to the forest.

“It… confused me,” she said. “I already knew of your affections, but… I was not so sure what to make of it. And I wondered if perhaps it were possible… that I could put aside what I feel for Legolas and attempt to make something new.” 

“We both know it is not as easy as that,” he said. Elanor looked back over as a pained expression passed over his face. “And I could not ask that of you.” He met her eyes. “I would never ask that of you. I am content to be nothing more than a friend and companion.” Elanor smiled slightly and nodded, looking away.

Most of the easiness between them came back in that moment. She was not angry with Braen and now she felt better knowing that she had regained her closeness with Haldir. For she sorely needed a friend right now. 

Sighing, she scanned the landscape around them again.

“Is it always so…” Elanor trailed off, unsure of how to finish her statement. She didn’t want to sound ungrateful to Haldir, who surely showed favor on her by allowing her out on patrol so soon. While she joined with a fair amount of experience from Mirkwood, there were likely some who would not be happy that she was so quickly promoted within the ranks. 

But she could not help but feel slightly underwhelmed. When she was on patrol in Mirkwood, they were constantly on the move. Constantly on guard. There was no telling what dark foe they would come across in the wood. But here, it seemed as though no one dared tempt to cross into the lands of Lorien.

“Boring?” Haldir finished for her, smiling slightly. Elanor glanced at him and then chuckled. “Some days are more lively than others.” Elanor nodded and turned her gaze back out to the plain. “I fear we may be facing darker days on the horizon. I can feel it in my bones.”

Elanor furrowed her brow, her thoughts flying over the plain and down the river to the small party that was currently making its way to the borders of Morder. Her heart clenched slightly in fear. Though she was still licking her wounds so to speak, she could not help but worry for Legolas.

Would she see him again? When it was all over and done with, would he survive?

“You are thinking of him again,” Haldir stated. Elanor nodded, not bothering to hide her thoughts.

“I cannot help it,” she said softly. “I feel as though we are still connected in a way.” Haldir sighed heavily, causing her to look over at him, his expression now guarded. “I worry not only for him but for them all.”

Haldir looked over at her, his expression softening.

“We must have faith that they will complete their task,” he said. Elanor smiled weakly and turned back to look out at the land. 

She felt different, yet somehow the same. While the patrol had been rather quiet hence far, she knew that it could all change in a moment’s notice. In a blink, they could be thrown into combat. Elanor could not help but worry when it came to a fight. Would she freeze? Or leap into the fray without any fear. She looked down at her sword. 

Oh, to go back to the days when her bravery was natural and not something she had to intentionally focus on. But then again, so had her rashness.

~~~

_“Elanor!” Legolas shouted as Elanor bounded over a tree root, her sword out. She gave a shout as she raised it and charged towards the large spider. She began hacking at it, flecks of blood flying into her face._

_She moved around, easily missing its pinchers and legs as she struck it over and over again. It was tougher than she was expecting, though she continued to fight._

_“Elanor!” Legolas shouted again as he bounded next to her and lifted his sword in time to block her from being impaled by a leg. She glanced at him and then hopped over him and running up to the spider’s back, sinking her sword into it. The spider gave a squeal of pain before sinking to the ground. Its legs curled up and with one last shudder, it died._

_Elanor wiped the grime from her face as she hopped back down to the ground._

_“I told you to wait,” Legolas said, frowning at her._

_“I know what I’m doing,” she retorted, returning the frown._

_“You could have been killed,” he said._

_“I would not have,” she scoffed, starting back towards the others that were taking care of another spider. She could hear the dying shrieks of the creature and moved more quickly should they need aid. Legolas reached out and grabbed her arm, spinning her around._

_“Must you be so rash?” he asked._

_“I am not rash,” Elanor replied, pulling her arm from his grasp. “Perhaps if you would trust me more, you would see.”_

_“I do trust you, I just…” he stopped, seeming to fight with his words. “I do not wish to lose you.” Elanor stopped, her eyebrows rising. She swallowed as she felt her heart begin to beat faster. Did he know? “You are my closest friend, Elanor.”_

_She nodded and quickly looked away, trying to calm herself. Now was not the time to be making confessions. Not when they could meet certain danger around each corner. She needed to remain focused._

_“I shall be more careful in the future,” she said, starting towards the others._

_“Good,” he said._

~~~

“Where did you go?” Haldir asked, drawing her from the memory. She looked over at him and then back out at the land. 

“I worry that when the time comes if I will be enough,” she said. “Fenris died because of my arrogance… my mother was killed by orcs when I was not there to protect her. I do not wish to lose anyone else.”

Elanor could not help as the old fear settled upon her chest like stone. It had been a war to fight it off as she trained and sparred, knowing this was only preparing her for something more dangerous to come. Before she had willingly jumped into the fight and now she worried by doing so, she could hurt another. But at the same time, Elanor knew that when the time came, she could not stand by and watch someone else die. She felt a weight on her hand and looked down, seeing that Haldir had slid his over and covered hers. 

“You are enough,” he said. 

“It has been a long time. Training is one thing,” she said, not meeting his eyes. 

“I am confident in your abilities,” he replied.

“I cannot lose another,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “Not because of myself. Not because I am too much or not enough.”

“You are not the same as you were, Elanor,” Haldir said, his voice forcing her to look up into his eyes. “You are stronger than you give yourself credit. I would trust no one more with my life. Have faith in yourself.” He offered her a smile before standing. “I must check on the others.”

Elanor nodded and then looked back out at the land, hearing him walk over to the ladder. 

“I shall come check on you before you sleep,” he said. Elanor hummed slightly, her eyes already scanning the horizon.

As Haldir left her, she could not help as tension tightened her body. She was not sure what was to come, but she could not help as the apprehension threatened to take over again. She only hoped they were all strong enough to survive the coming storm.

~~~

“Who goes there?” Haldir called out, his bow already out as he scanned the dark forest around him. An elf stepped out from the trees. Haldir lowered his bow as the elf stepped over to him, holding out an envelope.

“From Lady Galadriel,” he said urgently. 

An uneasiness settled into his stomach as he accepted the envelope and ripped open the seal. Quickly, his eyes scanned over the contents, a deep furrow settling into his brow. 

It was happening all too soon. He thought they would have more time. But it seemed the elves of Lothlorien were being drawn into this fight far more quickly that he had hoped.

“When are they to arrive?” Haldir asked, glancing up at the elf.

“Soon,” he replied. “Lady Galadriel wishes that you return as soon as possible to begin preparations. You are needed there quickly.” Haldir looked up into the trees, his eyes finding the flet where Elanor was currently sleeping. He worried how she might react to the news, but he knew without a doubt that she needed to go with him. 

He needed her at his side as his second-in-command. In just the short amount of time that she had been back, she had already garnered the respect of the others and he knew already that they would all gladly follow the two of them into war.

More than that, he felt that she needed to be there. He knew that the Fellowship would be there and that she needed to face Legolas once more. While Elanor may have so easily accepted his words as rejection, Haldir was not so sure. There was more there and for both their sakes’, they needed to have it out. While this was not the most opportune moment, it was an opportunity all the same. 

It would all come to a head at Helm’s Deep in more ways than one.

Haldir then turned back to the messenger. 

“Get some rest,” he said. “We leave at dawn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought the best way to say “sorry for not posting” was to post two chapters. Forgive me!
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Elanor quickly made her way down to the forest floor the next morning, feeling as though the company was up and around far earlier than expected. Pausing, she looked around in an attempt to find Haldir. She then found him speaking to Braen.

She could not help as the closer she got to them, the more she felt on edge. One look at their expressions told her that something very serious was happening. She had not seen Haldir look this strained in all the years she had known him.

“What is it?” she asked as she reached the two. Haldir glanced at Braen and then turned to her.

“We’ve received word in the night. Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel wish for us to ride to Helm’s Deep to aid the Kingdom of Rohan,” he said solemnly. “A great battle is to take place there against thousands of Uruk Hai from Isengard. Troops will be arriving from Imladris. We must return to Caras Galadhon right away to prepare.”

Elanor did not speak a few moments, though she could hear the elves around them preparing to quickly leave, nothing registered as her thoughts focused on what he had just said.

The war had arrived far sooner than she expected. Haldir was to ride for Helm’s Deep.

Elanor looked around, wondering how many of their own soldiers would ride with him. How many would return. What would they face once they arrived? Haldir had spoken to her of what was happening in Isengard, the large, deadly orcs that Saruman had bred and sent out to do his bidding. Fear once again seized her heart. 

“Elanor,” he said urgently. Elanor met his eyes. “We must hurry.”

“I am ready to leave,” she said immediately. He nodded and started to walk off, but then stopped. He met Braen’s eyes and the other elf offered a quick nod before walking off. Haldir turned to her and immediately, Elanor felt anxiety course through her. 

“Elanor… come with me to Helm’s Deep,” he said. She had assumed he would ask as much. She did not answer at first, unsure of her answer. “I want you to be my deputy commander.” 

Elanor’s eyes widened as she took a step back from him. Surely, he was jesting. She then chuckled as she shook her head.

“You have spent too much time with Rumil and Orophin,” she said. “For I nearly believed you.” Her laughter then died on her lips as she saw the expression on Haldir’s face. “No… you cannot be serious.”

“I am,” he said. “You are most equipped for the role.” She shook her head quickly.

“I am not,” she replied, her fear spiking suddenly. “This is folly. You cannot be serious. What about Braen?” Haldir sighed heavily.

“I do not have time for this right now - we must return. But I assure you, I am serious. You can give me your answer upon our return,” he said urgently before turning and walking off, shouting out orders. Elanor stood in the center of the clearing, her heart pounding. 

He wanted her to go to war with him at his side. They were going to war.

A shudder ran through Elanor’s body, though she quickly tried to shake it off. Looking around, she straightened her back and began walking towards the others, a calm mask sliding in place. Regardless of whatever she decided, she did not wish to show weakness.

~~~

Elanor quickly made her way through the halls of her home to her room, her thoughts whirling. As soon as they had arrived back in the city, Haldir had set off to the armory right away, though told Elanor to inform Lady Galadriel that he would be there to brief her and Celeborn. 

She knew that he wanted her to be there as well, but for the moment she needed to be alone with her thoughts.

The troops from Imladris would arrive by morning. They would rest shortly and then the full host would set out for Helm’s Deep. The entire city was in motion as she had walked through, with soldiers making their way to the armory and running about in preparation.

All the while, her mind was in turmoil. She had thought herself ready to fight when she began training. Even ready enough to go on patrol. But this was more than she could handle at the moment.

Going to war.

As she entered her room and began pulling off her weapons, Elanor noticed her hands were beginning to shake. She stopped, looking down at them. For a moment, she swore that she saw blood coating them, but she blinked and it was gone.

“You have returned.”

Elanor turned, watching as Galadriel walked into the room, a sudden calm coming over her. She was sure that her aunt had more to do with it than herself, as she could still feel the whirl of thoughts and worries at the back of her mind.

“Was this the path that you saw? The path that I must take?” Elanor asked. “Going to war?” 

Her aunt did not speak for a while, just studied her. 

“You are so much like your mother,” she finally said. 

“Everyone says that, but sometimes I do not see it,” Elanor said. Galadriel smiled softly.

“She too had her doubts. Her worries,” Galadriel said stepping closer to her.

“But she was infinitely patient and wise. I do not see how I am like her,” Elanor said. Galadriel closed the distance and took Elanor’s face in her hands. 

“Some days when I look at you, it is almost as though she has come back to me. But at the same time, you are your own person,” Galadriel said. Elanor’s frown melted as she felt tears well up again.

“I miss her,” she whispered. “I often wish she were here to tell me what to do.” Galadriel smiled softly, tears pricking at her own eyes.

“I as well,” she murmured. While Elanor lost a mother, she suddenly remembered that Galadriel had raised her mother. To her, she had lost a daughter that day. “She left us far too soon. And I’ve no doubt that she would be proud of you, Elanor. You have come so far.”

Elanor blinked rapidly as the tears threatened to fall. She did not think her mother would be so proud. Not of what she had done or how far she had fallen. 

“You have pulled yourself out of a dark abyss. You picked up your sword again, though you feared to. You vowed to no longer let fear dictate your life.”

“I was lying to myself. I cannot do this. What he asks of me,” Elanor said. “What I know that you will ask of me.”

“I do not ask you to do anything but to follow your heart,” Galadriel said.

“And what if my heart does not lead me to war?” Elanor said. 

“Then that is what you have decided,” Galadriel said. Elanor stared at her, stunned for a few moments. She was so sure that her aunt had come to her to encourage her to leave with the army to Helm’s Deep. To fight. “I just ask that you really think on what it is you wish to do without fear. Without guilt or shame.” She then pressed a kiss to her forehead and stepped back from Elanor. “I must meet with Haldir and Celeborn.” 

Elanor swallowed and nodded. She was unsure if she should go with her or stay. She knew that Haldir wished for her to hear the plans, in case she did decide to ride out with him and the army. But her mind was still in such turmoil, she was not sure that she could handle it.

Her aunt left silently, leaving Elanor alone with her thoughts. 

~~~

_Elanor stood at Legolas’ side, Fenris on her other, her hand twitching as it hovered over the hilt of her sword. She was longing to dive into the fray though they were nearly outnumbered. She glanced around, seeing the others in their company up in the trees raining arrows down on the group._

_“We must go in,” she said urgently, her eyes returning to the orc horde as they moved closer._

_“There are too many,” Legolas said. “We must wait for the opportune moment. Allow the archers to do their work.”_

_She glanced at him, feeling her frustration rear up, but his jaw was set and his eyes forward through the trees. Elanor looked back, seeing the group had gotten closer. If they continued to stand here, they would soon be upon them._

_She did not wish to give them that lead._

_Her eyes moved around the group. Were one of these orcs a part of the group that had waylaid and killed her mother? Either way, she could see the murder in their eyes and she did not wish to allow them another foothold._

_With a shout, Elanor unsheathed her sword and began running through the trees._

_“ELANOR!”_

_Blotting out the shout from her mind, she continued moving until she dove into the thick of the group. Elanor could not help the wicked smile on her face as she pivoted and moved, fighting off two orcs at once. From somewhere off, she heard more shouting, but she pushed it aside, too focused on her task._

_This was for her mother._

_“ELANOR!”_

_She turned slightly, the voice much closer than before. She saw Fenris running towards her, though could not understand why. He quickly shoved her aside, bringing his sword up to block an attack from behind her that she did not see coming._

_Scrambling to regain her bearings, she started towards him, but was cut off by another orc. While she had previously thought they had the upper hand, it was clear the tables were starting to turn and for a moment, she was overwhelmed._

_There had been far more than she thought previously, though the ground was still littered with bodies that held protruding arrows._

_“Just couldn’t wait to jump in, could you?” Fenris shouted._

_“And let you get all the glory? I think not,” she quipped in return. But despite the strength in her voice, she was beginning to falter. Where were the others? Why were they staying back?_

_She had just rounded on another orc, but was caught off guard, another tripping her up. She fell to the ground, unable to move as she watched the foul beast approach her in slow horror. Grasping around, she tried to reach her sword, but found it just out of her reach._

_“ELANOR!”_

_The orc lifted its sword, intending to make quick work of her, when suddenly, Fenris lept into her sight just as the sword came down, managing to stop it with his own. He pushed off the beast, allowing Elanor time to finally reach her sword. But just as she jumped back to her feet, he was surrounded._

_It all happened too quickly._

_One pierced him from behind as he was distracted by the one in front. Elanor’s eyes widened in horror and without thinking, she launched upon them, fighting off the attackers with brutal fury._

_It was suddenly much quieter._

_While she had been distracted by fighting off the orcs attacking Fenris, the others in the company had finally joined the fight._

_She turned back to Fenris, who had dropped to one knee as the others in their company made quick work of the remaining orcs. She could see the blood stains growing across his torso, though he held his hand over the worst of the injuries. He flashed her his usual smile, though his face had turned all too pale all too quickly._

_“Tis’ but a flesh wound,” he joked as she dropped to her knees beside him. He toppled over, now lying on his back. Elanor shakingly took stock of his wounds, noting that they were far graver than mere flesh wounds. She suddenly wished she had taken the opportunity to learn healing for there was no way they would return to the King’s Halls in time._

_“Ah, are these tears for me? Do not cry for me, Elanor,” Fenris said as she met his eyes._

_“We just… we should stop the bleeding,” she said, pressing her hands against the wound. He grimaced in pain as a deep-seeded guilt began to overwhelm her. This was her fault, she knew. Because she had rushed in before Legolas gave the order._

_She had tripped and fallen. Fenris had stepped in to save her and now would lose his life. Because of her._

_“I am done, Elanor,” Fenris said, his voice strained, though he still wore a strained smile. She shook her head, tears already falling from her cheeks onto his armour._

_“No, we just… we need to get you back to the Halls. The healers will fix you up in no time,” she replied, her voice quivering. He reached up and patted her cheek._

_“I cannot be fixed,” he said, struggling to breath. “Just… stay with me?” She nodded, gripping his hand, her own now slick with his blood. “You should tell him.” Elanor frowned, wondering why, of all things, Fenris would bring this topic up as he was taking his final breaths. “Tell him. Promise me you will.”_

_“I will,” she whispered. He smiled one last time before taking one long, deep breath. As he exhaled, his head fell back to the ground as his body went slack and the light left his eyes. “Fenris? Fenris!”_

_She could not help as her grief overwhelmed her in that moment. She shook him, attempting to rouse him, but she knew that he would not._

_“No,” she wailed, throwing herself over his body as she sobbed._

_He was gone._

~~~

Elanor gasped as she shot up in her bed, her heart pounding in her chest. She was familiar with this nightmare - had had it many times. And she was not surprised that of all nights, tonight it would revisit her. On shaky legs, she managed to crawl out of her bed and make her way to her balcony as the tears continued to pour down her cheeks.

The last time she had been in combat, someone dear to her had died. And they wanted her to go to war. How many more would die because of her? Even her mother had died because she was not there to protect her. She was meant to join her on that trip, but had not, feeling she should stay behind and get more training in. 

It was because of her selfishness that so many she cared for were dead.

Joining the guard had been a mistake. Taking up her weapons again - all mistakes. Shakily, she pulled her hair back from her face as she looked out at the peaceful night. 

She had listened to Haldir’s plans with her aunt and uncle, staying out of the way and saying nothing as she was still unsure if she would join. She had not missed the many pointed looks Haldir had sent her, though he had sensed her turmoil and not spoken to her before he left. But even Braen had given her a sympathetic look as he followed Haldir out.

They were all wrong. She could not do this. It was foolish. None of them should be riding out to Helm’s Deep. The odds were not in their favor and they would all be slaughtered. And for what? Protecting a world that they would all leave behind anyway?

A gentle breeze picked up, blowing her hair back slightly and caressing her skin.

_Because it is the right thing to do…_

Elanor looked around, wondering if her aunt was nearby, but there was no one else in the room. She was alone.

“It is folly,” she whispered into the night.

_If we do not go, they will fall. There will be no hope for man. Or elf._

“But we can leave,” she replied, part of her wondering if she had finally lost her senses, arguing with the wind.

_You do not wish to leave, you know this… not yet… there is so much here left for you to do…_

Elanor frowned at the night. She would not go to war or fight. 

“I cannot lose anyone else,” she stated.

_Precisely. How many will fall if you do not go?_

Her eyes widened slightly. She had not thought of that. But she was just one elf. One warrior. Surely her presence did not have that much meaning. Not in this battle. 

_You know that he will be there…_

Elanor swallowed, her thoughts turning to Legolas. Though no one had told her the current whereabouts of the Fellowship, she could not help but feel it in her bones that he would be there. They were heading straight into Rohan and Aragorn would not continue on when the kingdom was facing such a great foe. No, he would stop and lend his aid. And Legolas would follow.

Beyond that, she knew that Haldir would be there as well. Was riding out as soon as the forces from Imladris arrived. 

What would she do if she lost either of them? If she stayed here and did nothing while they fought and died. A quick and sharp pain entered her heart as she doubled over and gripped her nightdress just over her heart. If either died, she knew that she would never forgive herself. 

If the pit she had once been in was dark and deep, this would be the abyss from which she would never rise from.

Looking up, Elanor felt the pain begin to retreat as new resolve filled her. Her mother and Fenris had died at the hands of orcs. Perhaps there was more she could have done to save them, but that was in the past and she could change nothing. But right now, she knew that if she stayed, there really was nothing she could do to save Haldir or Legolas. 

And Elanor did not wish to lose anyone else because of her failure to act.

Standing straighter, she looked out at the city, seeing the sun just beginning to kiss the horizon. The troops would soon be arriving. Turning, she strode into her room and set about to getting ready

There was much to be done before they left. And she would be going with them.

~~~

Haldir spoke with the captain from Imladris as he looked out at their numbers. While many when combined with his own from Lothlorien, he still worried that it would not be enough. He could not spare all of his men, knowing they would be needed here. Already news was spreading of skirmishes with orcs in Mirkwood. Though Galadriel’s power protected them, he did not wish to leave Lothlorien unguarded.

“You are sure you do not wish for us to join you?” Orophin asked as he and Rumil walked up to their older brother. He turned to look at them and shook his head.

“You are needed here to continue protecting our borders. Lothlorien will be drawn into its own battles before long,” he said. “I trust no one more than you and Elanor while I am gone.”

The two nodded, though Orophin glanced over his shoulder and smiled slightly.

“It would seem that you will have to rely on only Rumil and myself,” he said. 

Haldir’s eyes widened as he spun around. Making her way through the crowd was Elanor, frowning slightly as she adjusted the armour she had donned. It was not what she was used to, but he could not help but think she looked born to wear it. 

He had not expected her to join him. In fact, he was certain that she would send word that morning that she would stay. But something must have changed her mind in the night. He did not say anything as she walked up to him.

“Figured you could use some help,” she said, smiling slightly, though it did not completely reach her eyes. In their blue depths, he could still see fear there. However, he could also see determination. 

“That I could,” he replied. Elanor nodded and looked to the troops. “Come. We must speak with the other captains before we leave.” Elanor looked back to him, her eyes wide. “I stand by my word. I want you at my side in this fight.” She swallowed and looked to the ground, her courage faltering slightly. 

But when she looked back up at him, it had fully returned.

“Very well. Let us go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, turns out I didn’t have to do as much re-writing as I thought, though I did change a slightly major plot point. But am now caught up to where I left off with writing and ready to dive back into the story. Turns out I only have about 4-5 chapters left to write. Hooray!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and following!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Legolas glanced over at Aragorn as they continued to inspect the weapons. Though his friend had forgiven him for his outburst earlier, he couldn’t help the sting of shame that remained. He had once again let his emotions overwhelm him but was determined to keep them under control from hence forth. They were facing a most impossible battle with little chance they could triumph.

Perhaps it was for the best. He would die here on the battleground and no longer have to think upon the memories of Elanor and live with the pain that she had chosen to love another. That he had driven her away.

He found he saw her often in his dreams. Always some happy memory from their many years together. But they would always twist into that day in the woods. When she stood embracing Haldir. He would then wake up, a mixture of pain and jealousy coursing through him. He knew that he had no right or claim to her. And he was happy that she somehow seemed to have found peace during their short respite in Lothlorien. It is all that she deserved after 100 years of blaming herself for Fenris’ death.

But he had hoped that it would have been with him.

Shaking off the memories, yet again, Legolas returned to the task at hand. Preparing for battle. They had been through so much in the last fortnight - losing the hobbits, thinking them dead. Then discovering they were fine, and Gandalf had returned. 

Now they were here, facing an army of 10,000 Uruk Hai with maybe 1,000 men and no guarantee that Gandalf would return in time with the Rohirrim. He knew the plan was to hold off the enemy until reinforcements arrived, but even with the keep’s impressive structure, Legolas still had his doubts as to if they would last or for how long.

“Well then, who do you think will win?” Gimli asked, gaining Legolas’ attention. The elf turned to him, wondering how it was the dwarf could seem so jovial at a time such as this. And to be jesting about the battle they were about to fight. 

The dwarf chuckled at his expression. 

“I’m certain I can best you,” he continued. Legolas’ eyes widened slightly, but then he could not help as a smirk broke forth. He was in need of distraction in this moment and though he was unlikely to say so to Gimli, he was grateful to the dwarf for it.

“We shall see, dwarf,” Legolas said, though there was a twinge of pain as the small bet brought on another flood of memories.

But they were cut short at the sound of a horn.

The three stopped their actions, looking towards the door. Legolas’ eyes widened as he recognized it.

“That is no orc horn,” he said, already starting towards the doors and hearing Aragorn take off after him. 

Legolas paid no heed to anyone around him as he ran through the halls, pushing men out of his way. He did not stop until he was standing at the top of the stairs to the Hornburg, Aragorn at his side. 

Before them stood an army of elves, wearing the armour of Lothlorien. There were hundreds. Hope began to fill his heart. Surely this would provide the aid they needed to win this fight.

At the front, one elf stepped forward, his long, golden hair cascading down his back. Aragorn was already bounding down the stairs to him, though Legolas stayed frozen in his spot. He could not help as his eyes scanned the faces of the other elven soldiers, though part of him thought it in vain. She would not come here. She should not come here. She would only be safe in Lothlorien. Besides, he had seen what just being on the training grounds had done to her. There was no way that she would come to fight.

He did not listen as Haldir spoke loudly, looking to King Theoden. 

After Aragorn had embraced him, Haldir looked back over his shoulder and nodded. Another, smaller elf stepped up to his side, her blue eyes betraying her anxiety, though she wore a determined expression. It was then that Legolas felt his heart stop.

Elanor had come.

~~~

“Lady Elanor,” Aragorn said in shock as he stared at her. Elanor smiled tensely and nodded to him, though she glanced at Haldir at her side.

“She is my second in command,” Haldir said. “A great fighter and I could wish for no other at my side in battle.”

She felt his words were too generous. She had not seen combat in a very long time. Though she had advanced quickly in the short time since the Fellowship had left Lothlorien, she felt undeserving of the rank he had bestowed upon her. 

Though Haldir was not one to give ranks so lightly, this she knew.

“It is good to see you well, Lord Aragorn. Though I had hoped we might meet again under better circumstances,” she said. Aragorn looked from her to Haldir, a delirious smile still on his face. 

“Circumstances aside, it is good to see you here,” he said. “Come, we must quickly inform you of our plans. The enemy is nearly on our doorstep.” 

He turned and started up the stairs, Haldir and Elanor following, Braen trailing not far behind. She could not help as her eyes drifted over and met those of Legolas. His expression was a mixture of shock and awe. But just as quickly he looked away, turning to walk into the Hornburg. She felt her heart seize a moment but chose to ignore the sensation.

She had learned since his departure that there were far more important things to focus on now than her broken heart. She would find a way to mend it once the danger had passed.

There was a small pressure on her hand and Elanor looked over, seeing Haldir giving her a small, encouraging smile before quickly letting go. The small touch helped her to re-center herself, reminding her that she wasn’t alone.

Yes, she must focus on surviving. There were easily 10,000 Uruk Hai breathing down their necks. She needed to remain focused on getting through this battle as well as looking out for those she cared about.

That is, after all, the main reason she was here. To make sure that neither Haldir, nor Legolas died.

They walked into the structure and stood silently as King Theoden explained the plan of attack, Aragorn at his side. She could not help as she looked around the building, taking in its construction, and then at the men that stood in the room around them. These must be members of Theoden’s guard, for they looked more equipped to fight than the others they had passed as they walked in.

She could not help but think it a poor selection for battle. But these were desperate times and one would need to accept all the able bodies they could, even if many had seen too few or too many summers. There was strength in numbers and from the looks of those around them, they knew they were fighting not just for their own survival, but for the survival of Middle Earth as they knew it.

If they were to lose, Sauron and his evil would lay waste to their land, then move on to the next city and kingdom. While the elves could seek refuge in the Undying Lands, these men could not. They would either be killed or made into slaves. That could create much bravery where there had previously been none.

Theoden finished his explanation by telling them that all the women and children had been moved into the caves beneath the keep and Elanor looked to Haldir. He studied the king a few moments, then looked over to her. 

“What is on your mind?” he asked softly so that the others could not hear, though they were conversing in their tongue and the men likely could not understand them anyway. Elanor’s eyebrows rose, but she quickly regained her composure, finding it surprisingly easy to slip back into the role she had not played in so very long.

“He seems overly confident in the fortress,” she replied just as softly. “But it is the best that can be done. We should position our archers on the outer wall. They will no doubt have better aim. It would be prudent to fell as much of the enemy as we can before they attempt to breach the walls.”

For a moment she had a sense of deja vu, though pushed it aside.

“I agree,” Haldir replied. He then turned back to the king and nodded. “A sound plan. I believe that we should…”

Elanor could not help as her eyes roamed around the room while Haldir spoke to Aragorn and Theoden about battle positions. They stopped when they fell upon Legolas. He stood still, his eyes fixed upon her as well.

Though his face was emotionless, she could sense something in his eyes. It perplexed her. Was that sadness? Regret? It was baffling. He was the one who rejected her. Did he perhaps have a change of heart? A small bubble of hope formed inside her. But then he turned away, disappearing into the group of men around him and the bubble burst. 

Sighing, she returned her focus to where it should be. On the battle to save the kingdom of Rohan and the fight to ultimately save Middle Earth.

~~~

Elanor stood alone on the wall, looking out into the dark field beyond as thunder rolled through the dark sky above her. It was not pristine fighting conditions. Fighting at night in a storm. But perhaps they could find a way to use it to their advantage. 

She shifted slightly, still uncomfortable in the armour of Lothlorien. Though it would better protect her, she longed for her old armour from Mirkwood. For if she were to die tonight, she wanted to die cloaked in something familiar. 

There was a flash of lightning overhead, and for a moment it stunned her as she did not see the field before her, but rather a forest clearing.

“No,” she murmured, feeling her heart begin to pound. She had been fighting off the memories since Haldir first announced that they would ride to aid Rohan. But it seemed they had finally caught up to her.

~~~

_“Elanor! Stay back!”_

_But the adrenaline was coursing through her body so much that she did not hear him. A wicked grin filled her face as she charged into the clearing, right into the thick of the orcs, her sword slashing through their putrid flesh._

_She vaguely registered Legolas ordering the archers to watch their mark, but that too was faint in her mind as all she could see were the vile creatures surrounding her. She should be afraid, but fear was nowhere in sight as she continued to fight, felling yet another creature._

_“ELANOR!”_

~~~

“Elanor.”

She jumped slightly, now seeing the field before her as she struggled to breath. She turned, seeing that Haldir had stepped up to her side, a look of concern on his face.

“You looked as though you were somewhere far away,” he said, reaching out and gently taking her arm, his thumb caressing her in the hopes of easing her mind.

“I was,” she said, struggling to push her fear aside. “I was in Mirkwood… 100 years ago…” 

Haldir stared at her a moment and then pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her. 

“Elanor, you do not need to dwell on such things,” he said softly.

“But… what if I…”

“You are a strong fighter,” he said firmly, stepping back and looking down into her eyes, though he kept tight hold of her arms. He had expected this much - that she would still struggle with the memories and doubt now that they were here. “I would not have asked you to be here with me, to fight with me, if you were not.” Elanor just blinked, unable to speak. “There is no other that I would trust to be at my side in battle.” 

“Those are pretty words, Haldir. But they are just that. Words,” she finally replied. Haldir stared at her a few moments, his expression unreadable, before he tightened his grip and shook her slightly.

“Elanor, if ever there was a time for you to put aside your fears, it is now,” he said sternly. “I need you strong and focused, otherwise we will both meet our ends tonight.”

She swallowed as she allowed his words to sink into her mind. While she may have no regard for herself, the last thing she wanted was for another to die because of her. He was speaking the truth - it was her main focus for being here, after all. Once again, Elanor vowed to herself that she would not let Haldir or anyone else die. This was the reason she took up her weapons again. Had been training and working to get back into form. Because she knew ultimately this day was coming whether she wanted it or not.

It was time for her to become the warrior that she once was.

“Yes,” she said, determination slowly beginning to course through her again. “I understand.” 

Immediately, his stern look melted away as he smiled down at her, letting go of her.

“I have all my faith in you,” he said. He then looked over his shoulder and then back at her. “I must go see to our troops. I will find you again before this starts. Though… a word of advice… I find it easier to go into battle with a clear conscience.” 

He then walked off, leaving Elanor watching him a moment in confusion over his words, before starting to turn back to the field. But it was the approach of another that had her heart stopping and the breath leaving her yet again. It was then that she understood what Haldir was speaking of.

“Legolas,” she said.

“I did not expect to see you among the army from Lothlorien,” he said, his expression unreadable. He stopped a few feet away from her, as though he was afraid to come any closer. 

“Haldir asked me to come,” she replied. “I had been training again, joined the guard. He said that he would want no other at his side.” Legolas looked to the ground, a flint of pain coming across his face. 

“I can think of no other more suited,” he said finally, before looking back up at her, the pain now much clearer in his eyes. It confused her. It was he who made clear he had no feelings for her. So why now would he appear in anguish. Was this, perhaps, because he regretted breaking her heart? Elanor looked over to the field, deciding that if this truly might be the last they spoke, she would not allow it to pass without assuring him that he had no need to worry for her any longer.

She knew that she was strong enough. And that it had been herself - her fear - that had been holding her back. If ever there was a time to let it go, now would be it.

“Legolas,” she said, turning back to him. “I know that our history has been… difficult. But you were once my dearest, closest friend. I… I hope that you know that I still hold you close in my heart even now.” 

He did not speak as his eyes locked with hers. 

“You have always held that place in my heart. Even through the darkness, I never lost my affection for you,” she continued. It was as though a long-held pressure within her released and she could breathe easier. She had finally said some of the words she had longed to say to him and she found that whatever he said next, she could face it.

Legolas took a step closer to her.

“Elanor… I… that day,” he started. “I did not finish telling you about that day. I was not angry with you. I was angry with myself. For when you plunged into the fray, I could do nothing. I only stood and watched and when that orc had… Even then I still could not move. I have punished myself for years for doing nothing. For allowing my fear and guilt to get in the way and say things that were not true. For causing you such pain and pushing you away. I only hope that you can forgive me.”

Elanor stared at him in shock as he paused, once again considering his words.

“I have held you in my heart all these years as well,” he finally said. “And it gives me strength knowing that our friendship has been made anew.”

Elanor nodded, a small smile on her face. 

“Yes, it has,” she said, feeling as though she might cry yet again. She took a step towards him, though stopped for a moment. But then she tossed all fear aside and closed the space between then, pulling Legolas towards her into a fierce embrace. For if this truly would be the end, then she wanted at least to take this last warm memory of him with her into the next life.

He was still for half a moment, before his arms wrapped around her. 

“We should not focus on such darkness,” she found herself saying. For she knew that he would need strength to get through this battle. “There is still hope.”

Legolas stepped away from her, peering down into her face as a faint smile appeared.

“I have not seen that look in such a long time,” he said. “That fire.” Elanor chuckled as she stepped back from him.

“I recently realized that 100 years was long enough to close myself off from the world,” she said. “Though there were those that aided me.” Once again, a brief look of pain came over his face.

“Yes, Haldir,” he said. 

“He was one, yes,” she replied. “But I believe that it was your reappearance in my life that lit the spark.” His eyes traveled from her face down to her hands. A puzzled look then appeared as he looked back up at her eyes. 

Elanor looked down at her armour, curious as to what would have conjured such a look, before meeting his gaze again.

“We will survive this, Legolas,” she continued. “We must, for I feel there is much more left for us to discuss.” 

A sudden strength seemed to fill his face as he nodded.

“I agree,” he replied. He then bowed. “If you will excuse me, I must see to some things.” He then turned and walked away, and for the first time that day, Elanor felt true hope coursing through her. She felt relief that she had at least regained her old friend. Whatever came after this, she would deal with it when it happened

“Elanor, it is time to take our positions.”

She turned, seeing that Haldir had returned. 

“Understood.”

~~~

Legolas glanced over his shoulder, seeing Elanor as she began speaking with Haldir. He then turned back, searching for Aragorn. The battle was upon them, but he was determined that they would survive - that Elanor would survive.

Though he still had some reservations, when he saw no silver ring on her hand, he understood that Elanor and Haldir were not promised. There was still time. He thought back to that day in the woods with fresh eyes. Perhaps he had not witnessed two lovers confessing. How could he have been so foolish as to jump to conclusions yet again? 

For hadn’t he once misread her intentions towards Fenris? It wasn’t until after she left, after he had spoken to her father, that he had understood there was nothing but friendship between the two. That her tears were of guilt over his death as he had sacrificed himself for her. Not those of one who had lost their love.

Yes, they would survive this night. And then he would fully lay bare his heart to Elanor, finally and once and for all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thinking I might post a few more chapters today… Just because I’m in the mood for it and I’ve been sitting on these chapters for a long time already. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Elanor stood at Haldir’s side on the wall, her bow ready and every muscle in her body tense as the rain began to pour upon them. The orc masses had approached the keep and were now creating a rather large raucous just outside the Deeping Wall, though none yet approached. Even without the flashing lightning she could clearly see their numbers and it did strike certain fear in her heart. 

How were they to overcome this? 

She glanced to her side, seeing Haldir standing strong, his face a picture of calm resolution as he loosely gripped his bow at his side. She took a deep breath, turning to look forward, allowing his quiet strength to flow through her. They had to survive this battle. The plan was fairly simple - they only needed to hold the keep through the night. Hold through until the newly resurrected Gandalf returned with the Rohirrim. 

The Uruk Hai continued their crude battle chant and she could sense the fear building up in the men around them. The elven soldiers were silent as they waited for the command. Never had Elanor faced such a large and ominous foe. She could not help it as she looked down the line, searching for Legolas and finding a small amount of comfort when her eyes found him. He was standing not far off with Gimli, the two having forged an unlikely friendship of sorts.

Elanor began shaking as the cold from the rain pierced through her armour and fear threatened to take hold of her again. Though just as suddenly as it started, she felt it abate as there was a strong pressure on her wrist. Elanor looked over, seeing that Haldir had taken it and was now looking down at her. He offered the briefest of smiles as he squeezed her wrist again, reminding her that he was there at her side. She nodded as she then turned back to the orc army, redirecting her thoughts. 

Now was the time to focus on survival. And finally getting revenge for the deaths of Fenris and her mother.

She kept watching, seeing one of the king’s men let loose an arrow in anxious anticipation. The Uruk Hai fell silent as it found its mark and one of theirs fell to the ground. Immediately, Aragorn shouted the order and long lines of elves raised their bows in the air as the orcs began running forward.

For a short moment that felt like forever, all Elanor could hear was her own slow, haggard breathing. But then the next order was given and all hell broke loose.

~~~

“Elanor!” Haldir shouted as he pulled her aside and blocked what could have been a devastating blow just over her head. She quickly sank her sword into the offending foe’s gut and pushed it back off the top of the wall.

Very quickly the disarray of battle had taken over with the enemy climbing giant ladders and mounting the Deeping Wall where most of the archers had been stationed. Fighting in such close quarters, there was no time to use her bow and more often than not, she fought back to back with Haldir. Not far off, she could hear Gimli and Legolas shouting out numbers back and forth to each other and assumed they must have made some wager. She wished that she could take such a battle so lightly. But with the threat of death so close that the stench filled her nose, she knew she had to focus solely on the fight, even though hints of an old memory floated through her mind.

~~~

_“TEN!” Elanor shouted, a grin on her face. She glanced over, seeing Legolas frown in frustration as he shot two arrows in quick succession._

_“TWELVE!” he shouted back, glancing over at her as he smirked. Elanor rolled her eyes and quickly pulled out her sword, rushing to meet the enemy with a primitive shout on her lips. Legolas often made fun of her for it, but she did not care. It gave her strength._

_She quickly took out three more orcs and spun around, her eyes searching for more enemies. A shout went up among the elves that the skirmish was won. All had been taken care of._

_Taking a deep breath, Elanor pulled out a cloth and quickly cleaned off her blade, taking the clearing in stock. They had lost none in their company, though some had sported mild injuries. She could already feel a bit of soreness from where she had taken a hit to her shoulder._

_“What’s your final count?” she asked, her eyes falling on Legolas as he went around and collected arrows._

_“You heard me. Twelve,” he replied. Elanor grinned._

_“I win. Thirteen,” she said haughtily. Sighing, Legolas shook his head._

_“I must concede defeat to you once again, Elanor,” he said. She could not help as she grinned, and Legolas quickly returned it. “But next time, I think you’ll find I might best you.”_

_“I’d like to see you try… your highness…”_

~~~

As the battle raged on, Elanor allowed her instincts to take over, focusing only on the enemy that surrounded her. She was surprised to find just how easy it was to fall back into her old ways. 

Her back bumped into Haldir and she took small solace in his presence, which was sorely needed as it was beginning to feel as though the flow of Uruk Hai over the wall would never end. She wasn’t so confident that they would last through the night at this rate. While they were doing a fair job at dispensing whatever came over, there were still many more beyond waiting to breach the walls. Another group had taken a battering ram to the main gate of the fortress where a number of soldiers were now redirecting.

From somewhere off, she heard Aragorn shouting. She finished felling another Uruk Hai and turned to look, seeing him pointing down below. Hopping up on the wall, she looked down, seeing a large Uruk Hai with a torch running towards the wall. Arrows flew through the air, piercing it, but it did not stop.

“Elanor!” Haldir shouted as he grabbed her wrist and yanked her down from the wall.

Heart pounding, she ran for a set of stairs, making for a battalion of elves waiting in the deep. She and Haldir had just cleared them when the explosion went off and many who had been up on the wall or around it were thrown to the ground, herself and Haldir included.

For a moment, it was as though time had stopped as Elanor coughed and looked around, the only sound coming to her ears was that of her own haggard breathing. All around her, others were starting to pull themselves up from the ground. 

For a moment, it felt as though she were underwater. All noise was muffled, though there was a ringing in her ears. She coughed and blinked, attempting to gauge her bearings.

“Elanor!” someone shouted, though it sounded like it was coming from far away. She blinked as she looked over, seeing Haldir already on his feet at her side. He leaned down, grabbing her arm and lifting her up. “GET UP, ELANOR!”

Everything came rushing back to life as she pushed up and quickly ran the rest of the way to the battalion, Haldir at her side, though it was difficult with the mud. She turned just in time to hear Aragorn shout for them to shoot. Her eyes widening, Elanor felt her blood rush through her head as she gripped her sword, gulping as hundreds of Uruk Hai poured in through the hole left in the explosion’s wake.

Shouting, she then charged with the rest of her kin, eagerly meeting the enemy as she ducked, swung, parried and stabbed. She would be damned if she went down without a fight.

This battle was not yet lost. Not while she still had breath.

~~~

Legolas jumped from the wall and continued shooting, only putting aside his bow to pull out his swords as the enemy drew too near. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of golden hair and turned slightly, seeing Elanor quickly take down two foes. She was already covered in mud and blood, a wildfire in her eyes as she gracefully spun and lunged, Haldir not far from her side. 

He had forgotten what it was like to watch her fight.

“Do not get distracted, Legolas!” Aragorn shouted at him. He wasn’t sure where he was, but Legolas returned his attention to the fight. He wouldn’t do the men of Rohan any good if he were dead.

Besides, he still had a wager to win and his love to confess.

~~

Elanor let out a shout of pain, feeling one of the orc’s blades slice her arm. It was only a nick, but she quickly pushed the pain aside, stabbing the offender and then kicking it away. 

“Fall back! Fall back to the Keep!” 

Breathing heavily, she glanced around, seeing many already heading in that direction. Frantically, she looked around, her eyes searching for Haldir. He had been at her side nearly the entire fight and now she could not find him.

When had they been separated?

Finally, she saw him near the wall, fighting off two orcs at once. She started for him, running at full speed. 

“HALDIR! FALL BACK!” she shouted, stopping a moment to duck under an orc blade before hitting said orc in the middle with her sword. She looked back over, meeting his eyes for a moment as he nodded towards her. Pushing away from the orc, she started towards him again. 

She wasn’t quite sure just where they had come from, but suddenly there were two more orcs at his back. Two that Haldir did not see as he was too focused on those in front of him. She tried to run faster, but it felt as though her feet had suddenly turned to stone, slowing her down in the slippery mud. 

“HALDIR! BEHIND YOU!” she shrieked, an orc jumping in her way. With another shout, she turned her eyes from him for a moment to take care of the enemy already in front of her. Once done, she turned back towards him, running at top speed.

Try as she might, she could not get there. She nearly slid to a stop when she saw one had sunk his blade into Haldir’s back. She froze in shock for a moment, thinking perhaps this was some sort of nightmare that she was stuck in. But then she realized it was no dream.

It was real.

“NO!!!” 

He kept fighting, even as he was likely mortally injured. Pulling out her bow, she quickly shot the two of them down as Haldir killed the others before sinking to one knee. Elanor barely reached him in time to stop him from completely falling over. She slid under his arm, using her body to prop him up.

For a moment, she did not care that the battle raged around them or that she was opening herself up to attack. Shaking, she ran her fingers over his face as he looked down at her, the light quickly fading in his grey eyes. She shook her head as her eyes roved over his injuries.

“We can fix this! I can fix this!” she shouted, meeting his eyes again as she struggled to try and lift him up. He smiled gently as he lifted his hand to her cheek, his thumb streaking more grime across her cheek as he caressed it.

“You cannot fix this, Elanor,” he said, his voice weak.

“I just… we need to get you inside!” she shouted, starting to try and stand again, though slipped in the mud and fell back down to her knees. He shook his head. 

“You must keep fighting. Leave me. You are not safe here,” he said before coughing.

“I cannot,” Elanor replied. She could not leave him alone. He had helped save her and what sort of friend would she be if she abandoned him now? 

She swore to herself that she would not let another die.

“You must,” he said. “I cannot be saved. You must save yourself… Lead them...”

“Stop talking like that,” Elanor snapped, tears pouring down her cheeks. “You are not dying. I won’t let you die.” He smiled briefly before he looked at someone just behind Elanor.

“Keep her safe,” he said before returning his gaze to Elanor.

“No! No!” she shouted again, watching as his hand dropped and his eyes close. “NOOO!!”

She nearly fell over, now supporting his full weight, but still she continued until she was finally standing, dragging Haldir up and attempting to make her way to the keep.

“Elanor! Leave him! You’ll never make it!” Legolas shouted, quickly putting up his sword to block an incoming Uruk Hai before killing it. He turned back to her fear in his eyes.

“I cannot leave him!” she shouted back. “Help me!” Legolas looked around quickly, as though he was contemplating what to do. “I beg of you! I cannot leave him here!” 

Legolas finally nodded and slid Haldir’s other arm over his shoulder, the two of them more easily lifting and then dragging him across the muddy ground towards the Keep. As they neared the structure, Elanor saw Braen, who immediately shouted out orders. They were then surrounded by elven warriors who cleared the way for them.

Elanor glanced down at Haldir’s face as she slipped in the mud. Yes, she knew that it had been foolish to insist on taking him with them - it slowed them down, making them a target - but she could not stomach leaving Haldir in the cold mud. If this was the final thing she did for him, then she would see it through.

Her heart was on the verge of breaking, but she was not about to leave Haldir out in the muck to be stampeded by orcs.

For a moment, Elanor looked around, allowing herself to feel overwhelmed. All around bodies littered the ground. The Uruk Hai pouring through the hole in the wall or over it. She was not sure where to go or what to do. A sharp pain filled her chest as she sputtered slightly and nearly bent over, her hand grasping at her armor. Legolas stopped as well, looking over at her in concern.

_“You must fight back, Elanor… do not lose hope just yet…”_

Shaking her head, Elanor pushed her pain aside and forced herself to focus on the here and now. She readjusted Haldir and continued on, Legolas beginning to walk as well.

There was still much to do before this battle would be over. She could not lose herself just yet.

~~~

“Elanor, you are injured,” Legolas said. 

Elanor barely registered the statement as she fought to control the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. Haldir was gone. She had tried to rescue him but, in the end, had failed. A deep pain ached in her heart, though she attempted to push it aside. While she wanted nothing more than to wallow in her grief, Elanor knew that she needed to keep fighting. The battle was far from over and she could not waste time mourning. Not right now.

The need to fight was the bond holding her splintered soul together. If she stopped for too long, it would catch up to her and it would swallow her whole. But currently, Legolas was blocking her path to the door. 

“I am fine,” she said, moving to walk past him. 

“You need a healer!” he shouted, reaching out and grabbing her arms, once again stopping her from going anywhere.

“When this is over, then I will seek help,” she shouted back, finally pushing him aside as her frustration built. 

Everything had descended into chaos and she could not find where it was she should go to help. Men were running to barricade the front gate, while others were fighting to guard the keep. Perhaps she could stand on top of the gate and help from there. All she knew is that she could not stop. She had to keep moving. If she stopped then her pain would consume her.

“ELANOR!” Legolas shouted, grabbing her arm again. Elanor spun around to look at him, her eyes wide in anger. “They need more help guarding the keep.” She nodded and started off in the other direction, pulling her sword out as she went, focusing solely on the task at hand.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a group of elven soldiers, Braen among them. She was happy to see that others had made it through the retreat. 

“Come with me! We must guard the keep!” she ordered, knowing that with Haldir gone, she was now in charge. Without hesitation, they nodded and followed her. 

“We will not allow them to win while we still live and breathe!”

~~~

“Ride out with me!” Aragorn shouted at the king, turning from the door. Elanor stepped away, breathing heavily as she stared at it, starting to feel various aches spread through her body. The assault had gone on through the night and she was not sure how much longer the men could keep it up, herself included. If she were growing weary, she could only assume that the men had long ago lost their own strength but had somehow managed to keep going. 

She watched on as the King of Rohan stood in contemplation. It was frustrating. Ride out. Do not ride out. It mattered not. He just needed to make a decision. She started towards him, intending to throttle the man - king or not - until he said something.

For the longer they were still, the longer they did nothing, the closer she edged to the pit of despair that she knew she would never return from. And she could not plunge into its depths just yet - she had promised to fight. Not to mention, there was still Legolas and the other elves. She could not lose anyone else.

Just before she reached the king, he nodded, and orders went out for horses. Looking back at the door, she sheathed her sword, and then took off towards the man going for the horses, asking for one of her own. 

“You cannot ride with us, my lady,” the king said, seeming perplexed that she would join them.

“Why not?” she asked, her eyes blazing. He did not answer at first. “Haldir has fallen. That makes me in command of the elven forces. As such, I will ride with you. It is my place and my duty.” The king only stared at her a moment before nodding and making eye contact with the man, motioning for him to do her bidding. He then walked off.

While she waited, Elanor took stock of herself. Her armor had long been covered in mud and orc blood, some of her own mixed in, though all her wounds were superficial as best as she could see. Nothing that needed immediate attention. She would be able to make it through this last, final assault. Whether it ended in defeat or victory mattered not at this point. She would either die out there or she would seek help afterwards.

“Why?” Legolas asked, walking up to her. Elanor paused for a moment and glanced at him before pulling her quiver off to check how many arrows she had left. There wasn’t much, but she had managed to regain a few. It would have to do.

“Because it is what I must do,” she said, her voice surprisingly calm. She knew that she was functioning off pure nerves and it would not be long before everything caught up to her. 

For a moment, Haldir flashed before her eyes. The way that he looked that day in the wood when she had asked him how long he had been in love with her. All the times he had talked sense into her. His kind smile. Then seeing the Uruk Hai sink its sword into him. She shook her head. Now was not the time to be thinking of such things.

She slung her quiver back over her shoulder and finally allowed herself to meet Legolas’ eyes. Blinking the tears back, she took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“I will ride out whether you think it sane or not,” she said firmly. “It is my decision. My place.” Legolas stared at her a moment, his expression unreadable. Finally, he then nodded.

“Fine. And then you must see a healer,” he said, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Elanor took solace from the touch, then looked over to see men leading in horses. 

“It is time,” she said. Without another look she walked over, grabbing the reins of a horse and inspecting it closely. She could still feel Legolas watching her but made no move towards him

Instead, she hopped up on the horse and looked around, waiting for the order as the sun began shining through the windows. Around her, the king and his men mounted their own horses. Gripping her reins in one hand, she pulled out her sword and waited.

This would be their final stand. And she would do her best to make it a good one. 

For Haldir. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how many times I’ve rewritten this chapter, but finally got something I like. It’s disjointed a bit, yes, but that’s battle for you.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following! And I’ll try to get the next chapter up tonight…


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Elanor stood listening as Braen informed her of the state of their forces, though it was growing more difficult to concentrate. They were left with so few after the battle, though one look at the battlefield could have told her that. While the force of men had mostly stayed within the fortress, her kin had ventured out when the wall had been overtaken. 

A small bitterness settled in her for a moment. This had not originally been their battle and yet they had sustained the most losses. But just as quickly she heard Haldir’s voice in her mind, telling her that it was every bit their battle to fight. The bitterness slowly subsided. Though what did it matter?

Haldir was dead.

Once Braen had finished, she nodded, a numbness settling on her as she felt all of her energy quickly draining from her now that the battle was won. Around her, others celebrated their survival, but all she could do was think about those they had lost.

“Make sure the wounded are taken care of. As soon as we are able, we shall ride for Lothlorien,” she said stoically, desperate to keep her calm mask until she was alone and could grieve in private. Braen nodded and walked away.

In that moment, Elanor’s limbs felt far too heavy. She had seen a healer, but yet could still feel every single injury she had incurred during the battle. And just under all that, the dull ache in her heart was beginning to grow. 

Sighing, Elanor looked around her, but upon seeing no one that would wish to speak to her, she started for the keep. There was the matter of Haldir to take care of, though she did not think herself yet strong enough to see his body. She had asked the healer to put him in a room away from the others and keep him there until one of their kind could tend to his body. 

Passing through the main hall of the keep, she noticed a bottle of ale left untended on a table. She stopped, considering it for a moment before looking around. No one had noticed her, nor would they likely notice the missing bottle. For a moment, she could hear him again. Telling her not to do it.

As she continued staring at it, contemplating the drink, there was a rush of footsteps. She turned her head, seeing the healer from before rushing up to her, looking just as tired as she felt in that moment.

“My lady,” he said, slightly out of breath. “I have been searching for you.”

“What is it?” she asked. He took a deep breath and met her eyes.

“My lady, he is alive,” he said. 

Elanor’s heart stopped for a moment. Surely this was but a trick. She had watched Haldier die with her own eyes. Saw the light leave his eyes. This was a cruel joke.

“What?” she asked, still not believing him, though her heart began pounding. Her mind felt as though it were made of sludge as she struggled to grasp at what he was saying. 

The healer sighed in mild frustration as he stepped closer to her, raising his voice.

“The elf warrior you brought to me… he is still alive.”

“He’s… he’s alive?” she whispered, tears springing into her eyes as her hand flew to her mouth and she felt her legs buckle. She reached out, steadying herself on the table, closing her eyes for a moment.

Haldir was alive.

She then straightened up, turning to the healer.

“Take me to him. Now.”

~~~

Legolas leaned against the wall, listening as Aragorn and the others spoke with King Theoden. He was surprised not to see Elanor among them, though the elf he knew to be just under her in command was there. He supposed she was within her room, mourning the passing of Haldir in private.

Even after all these years, he knew her well enough to remember that she still struggled with hiding her true feelings. It was part of who she was - a vestige of her mortal background. Now that she was leading the elven company, she would not wish to show what she perceived as weakness in front of them or the men, though Legolas had always thought it one of her more endearing traits.

“We shall ride for Edoras as soon as the injured are able to be moved,” Theoden said, drawing Legolas’ attention again. His eyes then slid over to the elf as Theoden looked at him expectantly.

“Lady Elanor wishes that we return to Lothlorien as soon as we are able,” he said. “We will ride out as soon as we have prepared our fallen captain’s body for transport.” A look of disappointment fell over Theoden’s face, though the king quickly hid it. 

There would be more fighting, more battles, ahead and it was clear the mortal king had hoped the elves would remain, offering more aid. But so few were left after the battle that even Legolas questioned how much help it would be.

“I understand,” Theoden said. The elf nodded. “I believe that is all for now.” 

Legolas moved to Aragorn’s side as the king walked over to speak to his own captain. Aragorn spoke to the elf in their tongue, offering his own condolences to the loss of his kin and leader. The elf bowed slightly and then walked off. 

“So, they will not stay,” Legolas breathed, looking around the room.

“Did you think that they would?” Aragorn asked.

“I had hoped, but it would make more sense for them to return. Their own borders need guarding and they lost a large amount of soldiers in this battle,” Legolas said, finally meeting Aragorn’s eyes.

“You had hoped that _she_ would stay,” Aragorn said.

“Yes,” Legolas said, beyond hiding his thoughts around his friend. “But… I can see why she will not.” Legolas then cast another worried look around the room, his thoughts going to Elanor. It was likely she was taking the loss hard. He remembered how she had been that day on patrol. The day they lost Fenris. There was no doubt in his mind that she would find some way to blame this on herself as well.

“I should… I should find her. To offer what help I can as they make preparations,” Legolas said. Aragorn nodded, giving his consent for Legolas to see after his old friend. 

~~~

Elanor stood against the wall, staring at the body that lay on the bed. She could not take her eyes from Haldir but at the same time, she could not bring herself to move closer. For a moment, she thought perhaps he had passed on, he was lying so still and his pallor far too pale.

But then she saw the slight rise of his chest and she knew. He was still alive, though just barely. She could not help as guilt flowed through her. She had left him alone when she should have been the one to heal him as she had failed to protect him on the battleground as well. 

Slowly, Elanor stepped forward, dropping down onto a stool at the bedside, her eyes scanning up and down his body, her healer’s eye looking for anything more that she could do.

They had taken off his armor and cleaned the mud and blood from his face and hair, though his pale skin was painted in bruises. A bandage was wrapped tightly around his chest, the pristine white stained slightly where the sword had run him through. 

She had quickly informed the mortal healer that she would take over his care from here out when he brought her to Haldir’s room, then sent him off with a list of supplies that she would need to see after him. She had then methodically assessed his wounds. 

While elves could survive a great many things than men could not, it would take nothing short of a miracle to keep him alive from this. 

Elanor shakily reached out, taking his hand into her own as tears began to prick at her eyes. She was still in her armor, coated in mud and orc blood, but she did not wish to leave his side for a second, worried he might die while she was away.

Haldir did not deserve this. She was supposed to protect him, and she hadn’t. 

“Why did we come here?” she whispered.

 _“Because it was the right thing to do,”_ she could hear him say.

“I know…” she muttered. 

She had thought she was ready for this. That it was her duty. It was time to pick the weapons of war once again to help protect those she loved and held dear; help protect Middle Earth. Now all she felt was pain - because of her yet another person she cared for was injured and she did not know if he would survive. 

She closed her eyes as tears silently poured down her cheeks. 

~~~

_“Who goes there?” a voice called out. Elanor stopped and looked around, her hands up. She knew as soon as she passed through the borders and entered the woods of Lothlorien, the guard would find her. She hoped that Haldir would be among them. With everything that had happened, she desperately wanted to see a friendly face right now._

_“Elanor, daughter of Ailmar of Mirkwood and Fraeya of Lothlorien,” she shouted. Her ears picked up the sound of feet moving through the forest - about ten elves by her count. Her eyes flashed over to see one figure, a tall ellon with long blonde hair, step out. He was followed by others who surrounded her, their bows at the ready. “Has it been so long that you’ve already forgotten me, Haldir?”_

_Haldir could not help but smile as the others lowered their bows._

_“It has been a rather long time, Elanor, though I assure you, no one would so easily forget you,” he replied. Though as she pulled her hood down, his expression quickly changed into one of worry._

_“I know that I have sent no word, but surely my aunt and uncle will welcome me,” she said, willing her voice to be strong. “I was in a bit of a hurry to get away.”_

_“Welcome back to Lothlorien,” he said, bowing slightly. “Allow me to escort you to the city.”_

_He motioned for her to follow him and Elanor moved, falling into step with him. She could feel him watching her as the others in the patrol moved back to whatever positions they had been in prior to her arrival._

_Elanor’s thoughts went back to Mirkwood and the ever constant guards at its gates. Guarding the forest surrounding the great hall. She sucked in a quick breath, shaking her head. She would not let her thoughts fly through the halls of Mirkwood to their ultimate destination._

_“What distresses you?” Haldir asked._

_“Nothing,” she lied quickly. “I am just tired. I barely stopped as I traveled here.”_

_Haldir did not say anything more, though continued to watch her as they walked. Elanor blinked rapidly, willing the tears to stay at bay. She did not want to seem weak in front of him, though they had long been friends. It was her biggest flaw, in her mind, that despite her age, she still could not suppress her emotions and feelings the way that others could._

_And she was not yet ready to share with him her real reason for being here._

_“Where is your warrior spirit,” she thought to herself. Quickly rearranging her face into a more neutral expression, she held her head a bit higher as they made their way towards the city of Caras Galadhon._

_“How long do you intend to stay this time?” Haldir asked._

_“I am not sure,” she admitted. “For a time, I should think. I do not wish to return soon.”_

_“What is it that brings you here?” he then asked. Elanor shot him a look, praying that he would stop asking questions she was not ready to answer. Though she was surprised that he had not attempted to shake it out of her yet._

_“Do I need a reason? Perhaps I missed seeing you,” she replied, though it sounded much harsher that she intended. If Haldir had noticed, he did not say so._

_“I shall be sure to mention it to Orophin and Rumil,” he said easily. “Then perhaps they will put aside their foolish wager over who will wed you.” Elanor tried to smile at the quip, but from the look on Haldir’s face, she knew that it must have come across more a grimace._

_But thankfully he did not push her further, the two falling into silence as they continued on through the wood._

_They finally entered the edges of the city, with more elves appearing, going to and fro. Some bowed their heads towards Haldir and herself. She must look rough from the journey, wearing her traveling clothes, a bow and quiver on her back while a sword was sheathed at her side. Elanor could not help but to glance down self-consciously at her dirty and rumpled clothing. Her father would likely have something to say if she were to meet with Galadriel and Celeborn as such. But he was in Mirkwood, not here. So Elanor would do as she pleased._

_“I hope that your journey was uneventful,” Haldir ventured to say as they neared the large home where Galadriel and Celeborn dwelled._

_“It was,” she replied shortly, making it clear that she did not wish to discuss anything remotely related to why she was here. They continued forward, starting up the tall, long staircase. Once they neared the top, Haldir stopped suddenly._

_“Here is where I leave you, Elanor,” he said as Elanor turned to face him. He bowed, a soft smile on his face. “I must return to my post, but I hope to see you again very soon.” She smiled briefly._

_“Thank you,” she said, nodding her head towards him. Before she could turn to go up the rest of the stairs, he reached out and took her hand, pulling her to him and hugging her fiercely. More tears filled her eyes, but she fought them off, realizing that in that moment, she needed the strength the embrace gave her. He then let go of her, offering a smile before stepping back._

_Elanor turned and took a deep breath before ascending the rest of the stairs._

_“My dearest niece, Elanor,” Galadriel said, a bright smile on her face as Elanor stepped up and bowed._

_“Lady Galadriel…”_

~~~

Elanor opened her eyes, still tightly gripping Haldir’s hand as she gulped and attempted to stop the flow of the tears down her cheeks.

“You must survive, Haldir,” she whispered, her brow furrowed as she looked down at him. “You cannot leave the world in this way...”

She knew in that moment that she would do everything in her power to save him, even if it meant staying by his side day and night. He had given so much to her, it was only fair that she now give everything of herself to save him.

~~~

_“You must stop this!” Haldir shouted as he stood in the middle of her room. Elanor turned in her chair and blearily looked over at him, an empty goblet in her hand._

_“Stop what?” she asked, her speech a bit slurred. Haldir charged across the room and grabbed the goblet from her._

_“This!” he shouted, holding it in front of her face. He then walked over and took the bottle and started for the balcony. Elanor was immediately on her feet, trying to follow him._

_“What are you doing!” she bellowed, though her legs got caught in her dress and she stumbled and nearly fell. She caught hold of a table and looked over in time to see Haldir pouring the contents of the bottle out over the balcony’s edge._

_“I am helping you, Elanor,” he said, not looking at her. Elanor began breathing heavily as she felt the anxiety build. Without the wine she wouldn’t fall into a dreamless sleep. The nightmares would come. Perhaps she should speak to Durothil and ask for some tonic instead._

_“You do not know what you are doing,” she said, as she stared at the table. “You are condemning me to pain.” She nearly collapsed, but suddenly strong arms were around her, holding her up. She looked up, seeing Haldir’s eyes in the midst of the swirling, their grey depths holding so much concern. For her. “Why?”_

_Haldir did not answer, but instead pulled her close to him. She rested her head on his chest, feeling the tears fall from her eyes._

_“I cannot do this,” she whispered._

_“Yes, you can. You have the strength within you,” he replied._

_“It has left me,” she said._

_“It is there still,” he said. “I know you, Elanor. You are far stronger than this. Far stronger than you currently think.” Elanor tightened her hold on him, feeling that if she let go, she would break into a million pieces._

_“I do not deserve this,” she muttered. He pulled back and looked down at her, gently grabbing her chin and guiding her to look up at him._

_“You deserve more than you think you do,” he replied. “And you have me… I am here to do anything that you ask of me.” Elanor just blinked before leaning her head against his chest again._

_While the pain was more overwhelming, a small part of her began to think that perhaps he could be right._

~~~

Legolas quietly stood in the doorway, watching Elanor as she sat next to the bed, tears still falling down her cheeks, her lips moving as she murmured under her breath - whether it was for healing or she was speaking to Haldir, he was not sure. When he had heard the news that the marchwarden was indeed still alive, he nearly could not believe it and needed to see it with his own eyes. But here was his proof.

The marchwarden had somehow survived the battle. And he had told Elanor to leave him on the battleground. Guilt roared through him. Even if Haldir had appeared dead at the time and even used his last wakeful words to tell him to protect Elanor and for to leave him.

Legolas knew that Elanor would no doubt be blaming herself for his injury; had likely done so already when she thought him dead. As soon as the battle had ended, he saw the fire go out in her eyes as she turned back to the Hornburg, knowing that Haldir’s body would be here.

She had not noticed his arrival, sitting with Haldir’s hand in her own and for a moment, Legolas thought that perhaps he should leave them be. But he could not force his legs to move, feeling as though his feet had sunk into the ground as he felt the familiar pain in his chest begin.

It mattered not if they were promised, Elanor’s feelings for Haldir were clear. She had nearly lost him this day and her anguish was written on her face. Though he was alive, he was still grievously injured, and it was not yet known if he would live through this.

Legolas started to slowly back away, but Elanor turned to look at him, hearing his light steps. Her eyes were rimmed in red, making them appear much bluer than usual.

“I only wished to see how you were faring,” he said softly, stepping back towards the room.

“He did not deserve this,” she whispered, turning back to look at Haldir. She reached out and gently touched his cheek. “He is a great fighter… if only I could have gotten there faster…”

Legolas remained silent, unsure of what to say to her. He wanted to tell her that she had done everything she could for Haldir - shouting to warn him of the danger, taking out two of the Uruk Hai on her own. And now, using her healing skills. But he knew that she wouldn’t listen. 

Additionally, the last time they had lost someone on the battlefield, Legolas had said the wrong thing and pushed her away. He did not wish to make the same mistake twice. But he could see that she was in pain and he desperately wanted to do what he could to help ease her plight.

“But he has survived,” Legolas said. “And with your hands, he will soon be fully healed.” Elanor sniffed slightly, reaching out to smooth Haldir’s hair.

“I hope that I can heal him,” she said, her brow furrowed. “I worry this is beyond me. We need to move him back to Lothlorien quickly… Durothil can heal him far better than I…”

“Do no doubt yourself, Elanor. It is not what he would want,” Legolas said. Elanor looked over at him, her expression unreadable. She then looked back at Haldir. The corner of her mouth twitched, as though she were nearly going to smile. But then the look of worry settled over her features once again. 

“We are to leave in the morning,” she said. “Beyond Haldir, there are a few others in our company that are hurt and in need of more serious healing that cannot be offered here.”

“I have heard,” Legolas said, his heart aching. She had come back into his life a second time and now she was going to leave again.

His heart began to pound slightly as he felt the words rising up in his throat, dancing on his tongue. But rather than say anything, he swallowed his words.

“Do not forget to rest, I beg of you, Elanor,” he said, his voice cracking. “You have been through so much today.”

“My main concern is Haldir,” she replied curtly, her eyes not leaving the marchwarden.

“Of course,” Legolas said. He then turned to leave.

“I am sorry.”

He stopped and looked back, seeing her looking at him again. 

“I should not treat you so… you are only looking out for my well-being,” she said softly.

“I understand and take no offense, Elanor,” he said, offering her a reassuring smile. “I am here if you should need me. I can watch over Haldir while you sleep.” 

Elanor looked back at Haldir, frowning slightly. She then sighed and nodded.

“Yes, I suppose I could do that,” she murmured.

“Very well, stay here and I shall see about another cot and perhaps a basin of water so that you may wash,” Legolas said. Again, he started towards the door.

“Legolas.”

He stopped once more just as he was to walk out. She was looking at him, tears sliding down her cheeks again.

“Thank you,” she said. He smiled and bowed.

“Anything for you, Elanor,” he said, hoping that she could see the depth of his devotion and hear it in his voice. For a moment, his heart soared as her eyes widened slightly. But then she shook her head and turned back to Haldir. 

Sighing, Legolas turned, off in search of a servant or someone who could help. Regardless, his sole focus right now was on helping Elanor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t want to torture you guys, so figured I’d get this one up tonight as well. Full honesty – Haldir was supposed to die. I actually wrote the last chapter up through the ones I had finished previously (Ch. 19 or 20, I think) with Haldir dead. But when I was doing my soul-searching, I realized… I didn’t want him to die. Hence the recent re-writing I talked about. And actually… that fit better into the chapters and story I already had written than his death and there was very little I had to change. So, you’re welcome to everyone who didn’t want him to die.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Elanor stood back, watching as the two elves lifted the pallet carrying Haldir onto their shoulders, her hand going out slightly as they jostled him. He still had not woken, but at least there was no fever or burning. She had cleaned the wound and redressed it just before the elves arrived to carry him out, eager to return to Lothlorien.

It was a solemn march through the keep to the wagons that Theoden had graciously provided them. Most of their kin would be laid to rest in Edoras and the thought pained Elanor. She wanted to take them all back, but there were far too many dead for her now small company. And her priority at this moment was Haldir and the other wounded.

Stopping at the top of the stairs, she turned to Theoden, though it was hard to tear her eyes from Haldir, and bowed to him.

“Rohan thanks you greatly for coming to our aid,” he said softly. “And for the sacrifices your kind have made.” 

“We will always come to your aid,” Elanor said, willing her voice not to waver. She then turned to Aragorn. “I wish you strength on the rest of your journey,” she murmured.

“Safe travels,” Aragorn replied as she bowed slightly to him. Legolas stood at his side. She glanced at him, finding a deep sadness in his eyes, though she could not understand why. He had to have known that she would leave with the others.

She was now captain of the elven army with Haldir injured.

She then turned to Braen, who was now her second-in-command.

“It is time,” she said. He nodded and started down the stairs as she slowly followed.

Deftly, she mounted her horse in front of the wagon, her back straight and eyes trained forward. All around her, the remaining elves waited for her command. Behind her there was a group of about 10 wounded elves with various injuries. But just as she opened her mouth to give the order, she felt a small push in her mind. She frowned at the intrusion.

_“Elanor…”_

Immediately, she recognized the soft cadence of Galadriel. It was coming at a most inopportune moment, but one did not ignore the Lady of the Wood.

_“Yes, my lady?”_

_“You have fought bravely, my child. Our losses have not been made in vain…”_

Elanor swallowed, her thoughts going to the hundreds of fallen elves that had filled the battleground. Who would never return to Lothlorien or Imladris.

_“But your journey does not end here. You must stay.”_

_“But… I cannot. We have lost so many. How will one small company of elves make any difference?”_ she could not help but ask. 

_“How can one small halfing save all of Middle Earth? All it takes is one pebble tossed into the water to create widespread ripples. Your path leads you not back to Lothlorien, but to Edoras and beyond,”_ Galadriel replied. Elanor swallowed the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. She knew they were all staring at her, waiting, but she did not chance looking around.

_“I do not know if I possess enough strength to stay,”_ she replied. 

_“You do. Your story does not end in this way. You must stay and fight,”_ Galadriel continued.

_“But… Haldir… I cannot leave his side,”_ Elanor continued to fight. _“And the other injured. Someone must lead them home.”_

_“Others can take on that task. And there is one who needs you more,”_ came the response. Elanor’s eyes widened. _“It is your decision to make, but are you willing to go against your destiny?”_

Elanor did not respond, instead sitting silently on the horse as she considered the various paths that now lay before her. She could continue on to Lothlorien or stay and join the others in Edoras. Continue to fight.

She knew that if her aunt believed she was meant to stay, then she should. But part of her longed to return to home. To the land she knew well.

To take care of Haldir and nurse him back to health.

_“We have enough to defend our borders and heal those who are wounded. But you must help men rise up to their potential,”_ her aunt continued, as though she sensed her hesitation. _“Haldir will reach our lands safely, I assure you.”_

Elanor looked down a moment before nodding. It seemed as though fate yet again had other plans for her in mind.

 _“Very well,”_ she said before feeling the intrusion into her mind disappear. She then climbed down from her horse, turning to face the small company, for a moment wondering what to say to them.

“The Lady Galadriel wishes that I stay and continue to offer aid,” she said to the elves. “I give you a choice. You may stay or you may ride for home. You will not be judged for either.” She looked around at the faces surrounding her. Some she knew, others she did not. But she was responsible for all of them regardless and would need to be a strong leader. The leader that Haldir thought she could be. They looked to each other, then to Braen, who stepped forward.

“I will stay, my lady, and follow your command,” he said with a bow. Shortly after, a few dozen others said the same.

“Very well,” Elanor replied, though she felt relief that some would follow her. As well as worry. She turned to Haldir, bending over him to leave a kiss on his forehead. “Be well, my dearest friend,” she whispered, her eyes closed.

“Do not cry for me, for I am not dead yet,” came the response. Elanor’s eyes widened as she looked down, seeing Haldir’s grey eyes meeting hers. She gasped in shock.

“Haldir,” she breathed. He smiled as he brought his hand up to her cheek. There was so much to say to him, but yet again she could not speak.

“Stay. Lead in my stead,” he said. “I will try to join you when I can.” She nodded, blinking rapidly to stay the tears. “And promise me…”

“Anything,” she vowed.

“Tell him your mind - all of it,” he said softly. Elanor frowned as she looked over, catching Legolas watching them closely, though as she caught his eye, he quickly looked away. “Do this, Elanor. Make your peace with him, for we both know that you will have none until you tell him what is on your heart.” 

She looked back to Haldir as a lone tear streaked down her cheek. She finally nodded. Though she did not know how or when, she would try. That she could at least promise.

“Safe travels, Haldir,” she said. He smiled and caressed her cheek and then Elanor stepped back, nodding to the elf that was driving the wagon. He whistled and snapped the reins, the horses taking off. 

Elanor stood still and watched the procession continue on until she could no longer see it before turning and striding up the stairs, noting the look of confusion on King Theoden’s face, though Aragorn looked pleased. 

“We will remain with Rohan to further lend our aid,” Elanor said formally to King Theoden.

“I am happy to hear such news,” he replied, though he still appeared baffled by the sudden change of heart. “We will set out for Edoras once the people are ready.”

“Very well, I will be waiting in my rooms,” Elanor said. She turned, striding back through the keep. The elves were already prepared to leave, so there were no such preparations for her to take part in.

All around her, people bustled about, the noise of happy chatter filling her ears. She found it grated on her nerves. They had just lost hundreds and these people could smile and laugh? Though she knew that it was unfair to pass judgement - death was a much larger part of a human’s world than her own. They were likely happy about the fact that they were still alive.

Suddenly feeling rather closed in, Elanor changed her direction, instead heading towards a small door that she knew led to a small, secluded walkway that went around the keep. Stepping outside, she stopped and closed her eyes, taking in slow, deep breaths of the cool air and grateful for the solitude. 

Opening her eyes, she looked out at the mountains, finding they looked rather beautiful despite their recent gruesome history. She stood still, calming herself. She would stay with the men of Rohan. There would be other battles in this war. It was far from over. For just a moment, Elanor allowed the enormity of what was to come wash over her. She found her heart going out to the halfings - Sam and Frodo still on their way to Mordor. Merry and Pippin, she knew not where they were, but hoped that they were safe. 

Hopelessness snuck into her heart. Wherever they were, there was nothing she could do to aid them.

Her thoughts then turned to Haldir as she closed her eyes, his face swimming in the darkness before her. She knew she had promised, but Elanor did not know how she could do what he asked.

But she did owe him so much...

~~~

_Elanor could not help as her eyes remained wide while she took in the grandeur of Lothlorien. Since she was a small elfing, her mother told her stories of where she had grown up, but now she was finally seeing it for herself. As a present for her coming of age, her mother brought her here to visit, though her father had remained behind in Mirkwood, far too valuable to King Thrandiul to leave right now._

_It was all wonderful, she decided, walking through the forest city, though making sure not to venture too far from her aunt and uncle’s home. Onward she continued until she found herself at the edge of the city, not realizing just how far she had walked. She knew that she should return, but she heard the sounds of combat and could not help herself as she continued down a path._

_Her eyes widened further as she came upon what must be the training grounds. A smile spread across her face as she watched the many warriors and soldiers continue through their drills. Her eyes then stopped as they fell upon two tall elves with long blonde hair locked in a fierce sparring match._

_She felt herself inching closer to them. She had always been fascinated by watching the guard train at Mirkwood. Wanted to join in, though her father had put his foot down and said she was too young. But now she was of age and he was not here with her and her mother in Lothlorien. Perhaps she could start._

_“I would be careful. If either saw the look on your face, they would have bigger heads than they already possess.”_

_Elanor jumped and turned, seeing another elf at her side who looked remarkably like the two currently in the sparring match. She glanced back at them and then over to him. He looked as though he weren’t that much older than her, but held himself in a way that said he was far more mature._

_“I am Haldir,” he said with a warm smile, sensing he had startled her._

_“Elanor… I am here visiting from Mirkwood with my mother,” she said. His eyebrows rose._

_“Fraeya’s daughter,” he said. Elanor turned back to the match, her cheeks painted slightly pink. Of course everyone in Lothlorien knew of her mother. She was raised by Galadriel. Renowned for her beauty and voice. Everyone expected her to be just like her mother. At 100, Elanor was already growing tired of it._

_“I am,” she said, lifting her chin slightly, her tone slightly cold. She heard a chuckle from next to her. Turning, she frowned at this Haldir._

_“Forgive me, I should not laugh,” he said. “For a moment I thought that I was speaking to Lady Galadriel.” Her frown deepened. “You do look remarkably like her and your mother.” Elanor only rolled her eyes and looked back to the match._

_“I am nothing like Lady Galadriel or my mother,” she stated._

_“I can clearly see that,” Haldir replied. Elanor could not help but glance at him out of the corner of her eye. “You wish to fight, do you not?”_

_Her eyes widened as she turned to him, curious as to how he could know such a thing. They had just met and he knew nothing about her._

_“I can see it in your eyes, Elanor,” he said, a smile still on his lips. She sighed, and turned back to the fight._

_“My father finds it unbecoming of someone of my stature,” she said. “Sindarin are meant to lead.”_

_“But the King fights, does he not?” Haldir asked._

_“Of course he has, but Ada will not listen to reason when it comes to me,” she said. “I have to sneak in the occasional lesson with Legolas if I wish to learn.”_

_“The prince?” Haldir asked. Elanor nodded, though she could not help the longing that coursed through her. She wished to learn how to move as the two elves were now doing across the field. “Perhaps while you are here, my brothers and I can show you a few things.” Elanor turned to him, her eyes wide. He motioned to the two elves sparring. “Orophin and Rumil.” A brilliant smile lit up her face._

_“You would do that?” she asked eagerly. He smiled and nodded. “I feel we are meant to be great friends, Haldir…”_

~~~

Further forward the memories continued. Through all the times he talked sense into her. Was gentle with her. Patient. Kind. He never pushed her more than she could handle. Never pushed her to speak about things that troubled her until she was ready, though there were times when he understood that she needed to speak of such things though she thought she had not the strength. 

Throughout everything, he had been her rock and her strength. How could she possibly make it through these times without him? Without his calm presence? While she knew that he needed to go to Lothlorien to heal, she still wished he were here to help guide her.

How could she lead anyone, even as small a force as they currently had? She needed Haldir.

~~~

_Elanor stood on the balcony, pulling her shawl around her. It had been days since Haldir had poured out her wine and ordered the servants to not bring her more. She had been tempted to sneak down to the wine cellar to retrieve it herself, but knew that Haldir would find out in some way._

_Even though he did not speak, she could sense his presence behind her._

_“I do not wish to speak on it,” she said, her voice clipped._

_“But you should,” he replied softly, stepping out onto the balcony behind her. She turned to face him, noticing that he was unable to mask his shock at her appearance. For the last few days she could not sleep, lost in the throws of nightmares. She had refused to see anyone, to eat properly. Haldir sighed and shook his head. “How long since you have slept?”_

_“Days,” she replied dully._

_“Why will you not tell me?” he asked softly._

_“I do not wish to speak of it with anyone,” Elanor replied, turning back to look across the city._

_“I assure you, you can trust me,” he continued. Elanor closed her eyes, feeling the tears welling up._

_“The shame is too much to bear,” she whispered._

_Haldir did not speak nor move. She could feel him still behind her, so knew that he had not left. It seemed that he would stand and wait until she finally spoke to him. Perhaps if she finally did, he would leave her in peace._

_“It was my fault,” she said. “I was too rash. I did not follow my leader’s commands.” She winced, Legolas’ face appearing before her in her mind. The anger blazing in his eyes. “And because of that, a friend lost his life.”_

_“That is the way of life when you are on the guard. At times, you lose-”_

_“Save me the platitudes,” she said, her body stiffening. Haldir was silent a few moments. She then heard him take a few steps towards her._

_“You cannot blame yourself for what happens in the heat of battle,” he said. Elanor whirled around, her blue eyes alight with a fire he knew all too well._

_“You were not there. You know nothing!” she hissed._

_“But I have been marchwarden for many-”_

_“YOU KNOW NOTHING!” she shrieked, stepping to him and beginning to pound her small hands against his chest as her anger overtook her. “YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM FEELING!”_

_Haldir did not move to deflect her blows, instead allowing her to continue hitting him, until finally her energy was spent and instead she leaned her forehead against his chest, sobbing as exhaustion overtook her. Only then did Haldir reach up and wrap his arms around her, allowing her to continue crying. After some time, he felt her legs begin to buckle and held her up, leading her to a chair and sitting her down._

_She immediately covered her face with her hands, unwilling to look at him. She was sure that she was a wreck at the moment, and she did not wish for him to see her like this. But yet, she could not stop the tears as they flowed._

_“Elanor… please… look at me.”_

_Taking a deep breath, she finally looked up, meeting his grey eyes and nearly gasping at the depth of emotion there. She could not understand why he was here. True, they had long been friends and she had long confided in him, almost as much as Legolas. But she could not understand why he would do such a thing when she was being so wretched to him._

_“Why?” she asked. It was the only word that she could manage to get passed her lips. Was this her great-aunt’s doing? Had Galadriel tasked him with this?_

_“You know this, Elanor. It pains me to see you in such distress. Not if there is something I can do to help,” he said softly, his eyes not leaving hers. “You carry a darkness in you and I do not wish to see it consume you.”_

_Elanor could not speak, only stare at him. She could clearly see the sincerity in his eyes. That Haldir did not wish to see her fall into the dark pit of her own doing. And she knew that even if she fought it, he would not so easily let her go._

_Something inside her finally gave just a little. She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands._

_“His name… his name was Fenris… it was to be just like any other patrol, but… it was not…”_

~~~

“Oh, my apologies. I did not know this space was occupied.”

Elanor looked over, seeing a human woman with long, blonde hair already turning to leave. Elanor recognized her from just after the battle. When the women and children had emerged from the cave, she had embraced Aragorn. Seemed to be familiar with him.

“It is fine,” she called out, as she wiped her cheeks, unsure of why she should say such a thing. She had been seeking refuge from the others, but there was something in her that wanted company - company other than Legolas or the other elves. Perhaps the company of another woman. The woman turned slowly, facing her. 

“You are the captain of the elves,” she said, her voice full of awe. “I heard there was a woman now leading them.” Elanor nodded and looked back out to the landscape. 

“Yes, now that our previous captain has been gravely injured,” she said. “He will continue on to Lothlorien while I will remain here to lead our company.” She winced slightly, her concern building for Haldir.

“I am so sorry. You must be so worried,” the woman replied softly. Elanor looked over at her, finding she was sincere. “I am Eowyn, niece of the king.”

“Elanor of Mirkwood and Lothlorien.” 

The two fell into silence as Elanor looked back over the land. Eowyn kept her distance, though after some time, Elanor noticed she had taken a few steps towards her.

“Is it true that the elves allow their women to fight alongside their men?” she asked cautiously. Elanor raised her eyebrows at the question, finding it slightly odd. But she nodded.

“As you can see,” she replied, motioning to her sword on her hip and her bow and quiver on her back. Eowyn nodded and looked away.

“My apologies if I interrupted your thoughts,” she said, appearing as though she would leave again. For whatever reason, Elanor found comfort in her presence. Perhaps it was speaking to another woman, or what have you, but she wanted to speak more. She could sense something in Eowyn, a strength and fire much like her own.

“I welcome the company,” she said, causing Eowyn to stop as she turned away. “It helps to quiet the turmoil in my mind.” Eowyn nodded.

“Are you close? You and your captain? I assume that is for whom you are shedding tears,” she said softly.

“We are,” Elanor confessed, her brow furrowed.

“Is he your intended?” Eowyn then asked. Elanor felt a flush enter her cheeks.

“No, he is not. But he is a very dear friend and I worry for his safety as he returns to our homeland,” she said. The two women fell silent a few moments.

“It must be comforting to have one of your own here with you. There is another here from the Greenwood, is there not? Are you familiar?” Eowyn continued. Elanor stiffened slightly, remembering the promise she had made to Haldir. 

“Yes, we are. And… it is… in some ways,” she said carefully. Eowyn stared at her and for a moment, Elanor felt as though the woman could see straight to her soul. “We were once close, the prince and I. However, our friendship is… tenuous… complicated.” 

“Whatever wrongs have been committed, I find that it is helpful to reach out to others in times of strife,” Eowyn then said with a wisdom far beyond her age. “To find strength in others when our own wanes.” 

Elanor looked away, blinking back tears. 

“Perhaps,” she said softly, thinking back through years.

When she had comforted Legolas when he lost his mother. Then when he had returned the favor when her own died. Perhaps it would help to ease her soul if she leaned on him now.

“For what it is worth, I am happy that you chose to stay,” Eowyn said, breaking through her thoughts. Elanor looked at her, smiling slightly. 

“It is the right thing to do,” she found herself saying. Eowyn returned the smile. 

“If you’ll excuse me, there are tasks I must take care of before we ride out,” Eowyn said. She bowed slightly before leaving Elanor once again alone with her thoughts. She looked back out on the mountains a few more moments, before looking down at the armour of Lothlorien that she was still wearing. 

She would need strength to get through the next few days – to lead the company and face whatever was coming next. Perhaps she would start with changing into attire more comforting. Her mind made up, Elanor returned inside of the keep, heading in search of Braen, who would know the location of the pack she had brought with her. 

While she was of Lothlorien through her mother, she was also an elf of Mirkwood. Perhaps it was time she finally - fully - embraced who she once was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Meant to get this up yesterday…  
> Thanks for reading and following!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Elanor had just settled down on a bench to rest her legs when suddenly, two small bodies had rushed up to her. She nearly toppled backwards at the force of their arrival, though her frown quickly turned into a grin when she saw it was Merry and Pippin.

“My lady! No one said that you were here!” Merry exclaimed. 

“We’ve just arrived from Isengard,” Pippin added.

“I see. What adventures you must have had since the last we saw each other,” she replied, truly happy to see them again. She had not accompanied the small party that set for the home of Saruman the White, choosing to remain with Eowyn and get her small company of elves settled at Edoras instead. The woman proved to be a good companion on the journey from Helm’s Deep, telling her all manner of stories of Rohan. 

For that, Elanor was grateful. As was the small respite she got from Legolas’ ever constant gaze. While he had not approached her, she could feel him watching her. But she could not help as her eyes moved from the hobbits around the great room until they found his. 

Quickly looking away, she returned her attention to the hobbits, who were still in the midst of informing her of just all that had transpired since they left Lothlorien. Her heart stopped a moment as they told the tale of being taken by the orcs, finding it terrifying. But they seemed to have moved past the trauma rather quickly. Hobbits truly were resilient.

“And then we went to a gathering of Ents,” Merry said, speaking over Pippin. Elanor’s eyes widened. She had long ago thought such creatures no longer existed. “They didn’t want to fight, but Pippin concocted the most brilliant plan.” She looked at the other hobbit, who wore an almost bashful expression.

“Wasn’t so much a plan as an idea. I was not sure if it would work, but I could feel if Treebeard saw the destruction of Isengard, perhaps he would be moved to act,” Pippin said.

“How very gallant of you,” she replied. 

“So, then the Ents sacked Isengard and now stand guard there over the wizard and his minion,” Merry said. “But what of you? How did you come to fight at Helm’s Deep?”

“Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel asked it of us,” she said, her smile fading slightly as her thoughts inevitably turned to Haldir. 

In their excitement at being reunited, the two hobbits did not notice this, instead looking around the hall.

“Where are the others?” Pippin asked. “Is the marchwarden here as well?”

“Yea, we haven’t seen many other elves. You must have brought a great army with you,” Merry added. They both then noticed the grim look on her face. “Oh…”

“We came with 500, but lost many in the battle,” she said softly. “Haldir was gravely injured and sent back to Lothlorien with 10 others also injured. I am now in command of what’s left… only about 30 of us.”

“We’re so terribly sorry,” Pippin said, reaching out to squeeze her hand as Merry patted her knee. She looked up, smiling slightly at the looks of concern on their faces, touched by it. Though she struggled to keep herself in check. 

In the time it had taken to get back to Edoras, she had not allowed herself to ponder too much on Haldir and his current state or the many other elves they had lost. It was up to her to look out for the few that remained with her, and she had welcomed that distraction. But now as she sat in the hall, there were no tasks to preoccupy her mind and it was getting more difficult not to think of Haldir and worry for him. He was still alive, yes, but there was no telling if he would survive the journey home. She had done the best she could, but she worried it would not be enough, even with her aunt’s reassurances.

She then stood abruptly.

“I thank you for your kind words, but I fear I must see after the others,” she said, blinking rapidly.

“Yes, of course,” Pippin said.

“We will see you at the feast, won’t we?” Merry asked. Elanor looked from one hobbit to the other, considering it. She had hoped to spend the evening in her room, but she did not wish to let them down.

“Yes, you will,” she said. The two smiled and stepped aside, allowing her to walk passed. 

Truthfully, there wasn’t anything for her to do at the moment. The horses they used had been stabled and the others were set up with their own accommodations. She had just been briefed by Braen of everyone’s condition and knew there would be no council that day with the king, as they were all to rest after their journey before the feast that night to honor the fallen. 

But she could no longer stand to be out in full view of everyone, struggling to control her thoughts and emotions.

“Lady Elanor!”

She paused as she was about to leave the hall, turning to see Eowyn rush up to her with a warm smile.

“I have had servants prepare a bath for you. And provided one of my dresses, if you should desire it for the feast tonight,” she said quickly. “I know it is not like what you are used to in Lothlorien but thought you might care for something other than armour.” 

Elanor mustered a smile for the woman, touched by her thoughtfulness. 

“Thank you,” she replied, truly grateful for her help.

“They are in your room,” Eowyn continued. “If there is anything else that you need, feel free to ask.” 

“I will,” Elanor said, already turning towards the exit of the hall that would lead her to her accommodations.

Perhaps a warm bath and clean clothing would help ease her mind as well as her body.

~~~

Legolas watched as Elanor spoke with Eowyn, noting that the two must have formed a bond on the journey from Helm’s Deep. He had hoped to speak with her, but she seemed to anticipate when he would come near and always seemed to step away or busy herself with something just before he could reach her.

He had been shocked, yet happy, to see her changed into the garb of Mirkwood just before they set out on the journey, quickly recognizing the uniform she had always worn while they were out on patrol. It was far less clunky than the ornate armour she had worn along with the other elves from Lothlorien and she appeared more at ease in it. 

But yet, she still would not speak with him, often looking away should their eyes meet. 

Had he said something to offend her yet again? Or perhaps she worried about Haldir? That seemed more likely the case as he recalled their exchange before he had left her in his room. 

He could not help as his heart reached out to her, wishing to provide her comfort in this time. She had remained stoic nearly the entire journey that he had been part of, only speaking to either Eowyn or one of her soldiers, her blue eyes somehow masking the pain that she was undoubtedly feeling.

They had lost many in the battle. Many elves that she had known and likely had been friends with.

But for the time being, it would appear that she did not wish to speak to him. So Legolas would be patient and wait. If she wished to speak to him, she would seek him when she was ready.

~~~

Elanor sat stiffly at the table, situated between the two hobbits and surrounded by the rest of her company. While the others in the room were laughing and making merry in celebration of their victory at Helm’s Deep, the elves were noticeably withdrawn. It was not as though they were not grateful for their survival or the moving tribute that Theoden had paid to them and their fallen comrades. But as their numbers had taken the largest hit in the battle, it was more difficult to find mood for celebration when so many of their own were now laid to rest in the mounds outside Edoras. 

Elanor found herself looking towards the open doors, her mind flying through the dark streets of the city and across the land and plains to Haldir, praying that he was alright. But she was then drawn back to the feast, looking down at the food that filled her plate which she left untouched, finding her appetite long gone. Though she forced herself to smile at Merry and Pippin, this time their laughter and happiness was not so contagious. 

Finally getting to a point where she could stand no more, Elanor gracefully rose from the table, causing the elves to do the same.

“Is something wrong?” Merry asked, his happy smile fading slightly.

“I am fine… I just need some air,” she said, attempting to keep her smile on her lips. She then picked up her goblet and quickly made her way outside, looking out over the city and breathing in the crisp, cool air. While the sun had long ago set, it appeared that others in the village were celebrating the victory, with many bonfires going and cheerful laughter and singing drifting towards the hall, mixing with that which was pouring from the opened doors.

Taking a deep breath, Elanor closed her eyes, but all she could see was Haldir before her. His smile and warm grey eyes. All the sage advice he had given her throughout their years of friendship flowing through her mind. 

“It should not have been you,” she murmured, her eyes opening. Tears sprung forth over the unfairness of life. Of all the people to be injured and sit at death’s door at the hands of the Uruk Hai, it should not have been Haldir. He had been a strong leader and fighter. The fact that she was now leading what was left of his army was a cruel joke. What had he been thinking, making her his second in command?

She did not deserve such an honor.

~~~

Legolas watched from Aragorn’s side as Elanor stood, spoke to the others, and then glided out of the hall, her head held high as she clutched a goblet in one hand and held up the skirt of the heavy mauve dress with the other. Her golden hair was down, cascading down her back in curls.

Though she remained composed, he could clearly see that she was on the brink of breaking down into tears, blinking rapidly as she walked out through the door of the hall. 

He debated whether he should follow her or leave her in peace. She was still struggling but seemed to have pushed it aside all day as she took care of the other elves and then sat through the noisy feast. He had to admit that the event was even grating his nerves, though he could understand the desire to celebrate. They had triumphed over considerable odds and many were happy to be alive when so many others did not survive.

After a few more moments of going back and forth, Legolas found himself standing from his table and starting towards the door.

“Now, where are you going!?” Gimli shouted boisterously. “I thought you had agreed to a drinking match!” Legolas smirked briefly as he looked down at the dwarf, who had already partaken of a large amount of ale as it was.

“Never fear, Master Dwarf. I shall return to drink you under the table in due time,” he said before walking away. 

“Likely to check on the lass. They knew each other in Mirkwood, did you know?” he heard Gimli say to the man sitting next to him. It was all he could do to refrain from rolling his eyes. The dwarf was a gossip if ever he knew one. But now was not the time to worry about such things.

He stepped out of the door and stopped, for a moment thinking she had returned to her room. But then he saw her at the edge of the platform, still as stone as she stared out into the darkness. The only thing moving was her hair as a breeze blew it back from her face.

Turning, he made his way towards her, watching as she moved not, though she had to have noticed his arrival.

“I am fine, Legolas,” she said as he stopped next to her, his hands behind his back. “I only needed some air. I am not so used to such festivities.”

“I remember a time when you could not sit to eat, you were such a favored dance partner,” he replied. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, then returned her gaze out to the city.

“Forgive me if I do not feel in the mood to dance this evening,” she said dryly. Legolas looked to the ground, unsure of just what to say to her. His frustration only grew. He had known Elanor for far too long to be at such a loss for words. How could he have let things happen as they did so that they would stand in this place at this moment? Unable to comfort her when she was so clearly upset.

“I imagine that it is not easy… to be parted from one you hold so dear,” he finally said, looking up at her. Elanor said nothing, only brought the goblet to her lips.

“It does weigh heavy on my mind. I do not know if he will survive the journey,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “He is very dear to me.” 

“I am grateful that you were to find someone like him,” Legolas said. “One who could be there for you in a way that I was unable to be.” He watched as her eyes flicked over to him again. Perhaps he should not have said that. “I am sure his presence is missed.”

“During a time when I needed strength, he lent me his own,” Elanor said, her eyes moving back to the city as tears glistened in her eyes. She then sighed heavily. “I often wonder how I can survive without him. He talked me out of the darkness that threatened to take over my soul. It is almost as though I have not lost a dear friend and brother, but rather a limb or part of myself. I pray to the Valar that he will survive this.” 

Legolas fought from reacting to the words she had used to describe Haldir as she dropped her head, her hand rising up to wipe away the tears now falling. Had he truly gotten it wrong all this time? Were these not tears that she had potentially lost a life partner, but rather someone as close as brother? But just as quickly, he pushed those thoughts aside, knowing that the only thing that truly mattered in this moment was that he was there for Elanor in the way she needed.

Support, strength and comfort in this time of trial. His wants and desires mattered not.

“I feel as though I do not even deserve to lead his soldiers,” she said, her voice breaking even more. 

“He entrusted you to lead in his stead. He knew that you were strong enough, that the others would respect you and follow you. Otherwise, he would not have made such a decision,” Legolas said, stepping closer to her. He longed to reach out to her, pull her into his arms as he had before. But he did no such thing. “We both know that Haldir is not one to make such decisions lightly.”

Elanor looked over at him, her expression indecipherable. 

“I know that I am not him, but… I am here if you wish to lay bare your soul,” Legolas said gently. “I owe you that much… for all that you have done for me. For all that we once shared.” She continued to stare at him, causing him to feel more anxious. But he knew what he should say. “You may feel weak without Haldir at your side, but if you feel that you cannot stand on your own, all you need do is to find me. I will gladly lend whatever strength I have.”

She blinked a few times before she stepped towards him and did the one thing he had dreamed about since their reunion in Lothlorien. 

She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes as she clung to him. He could only follow her actions, wrapping his own around her. It had been so very long since the last he held her like this. This was far different from the brief embrace on the walls of Helm’s Deep. That had been quick and out of the thought that they would not survive. This was tender and said so much more. Legolas found that he did not wish to let her go.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“As long as I live and breathe, Elanor, you will never have to feel like you are alone,” he vowed, repeating the words she had once said to him many, many years ago. 

The two remained silent as they held each other a few moments, before Elanor finally stepped back out of his embrace and looked up at him. For a moment, he was transfixed by how the moonlight fell across her face. But before he could allow his thoughts to venture too far in that direction, he glanced over his shoulder towards the doors where light and laughter still spilled out.

“Do you wish to return?” he asked, turning to look at her again.

“I think that I will retire for the night,” she replied. 

“Do you wish for me to escort you?” he asked. She smiled briefly, shaking her head.

“I shall be fine to get there on my own. But could you please tell the others and give them my apologies?” she asked. He nodded. She then walked past him and continued down to another door that would lead back into the bowels of the great hall without having to go through the many revelers.

Legolas stood outside a few moments longer, gaining his bearing before he too turned and returned to the feast.

~~~

Elanor sat in a chair before a roaring fire, staring at the flames as she pulled the blanket tighter around her. It was far courser than what she was used to, but she welcomed the warmth it provided. 

Her thoughts turned to Legolas’ words. They were so similar to what he had said all those years ago when her mother had died. He held her through most of the night in the sitting room of her family’s chambers as she cried, often smoothing her hair back and shedding his own tears for the elleth he had come to see as a mother after his own passed on when he was still an elfling. And even then, he had said that she would never truly be alone as long as he was there. She had told him the very same thing when his mother had died.

She could not help as a few more tears slipped out and coursed down her cheeks. Now alone, she did not bother to wipe them away as she continued to stare into the flames. 

_“All these tears for me?”_ she could almost hear Haldir say. _“Why must you waste tears and breath over me? I am not yet dead. There is still breath in my body. We are only parted for now… not forever.”_

“Because I miss you, you toad,” she muttered softly with a short laugh. 

_“I am a soldier, Elanor. I always knew that I might face my end on a battlefield,”_ she then heard him say. _“But I have not yet met it. And the best, most healing gift you can give is to continue to live.”_

She was not sure if it was wishful thinking or if perhaps Haldir had spoken to her from wherever he was, but she could not help but continue to ponder on the words. It was something he would say to her were he standing in the room before her. And deep inside, she knew that it was true. 

All Haldir had ever wanted was for her to put the darkness behind her and live. 

“How am I to continue without your strength beside me?” she whispered to the still, quiet room.

_“By your own strength, which we both know you possess…”_

“By the Valar, you know me all too well, Haldir,” she replied, a small smirk appearing on her face. “Fine, I shall do so. Though it will not be easy.”

_“You are not alone, Elanor… you know this…”_

Her thoughts once again returned to Legolas and his vow to her. In the wake of nearly losing Haldir, her previous heartache seemed to pale in comparison. And she had found herself much comforted after speaking with the prince. It was true - she was not alone. She had her old friend once again in her life. Not only that, she had the other elves who had remained with her. She then thought to Haldir’s final request before they parted. That she would tell Legolas the truth of her feelings. For the first time, she thought perhaps it was possible, though not just yet.

Sitting up in her chair, she looked around the room, as though she were searching for Haldir in the corners and shadows. 

“I will live,” she vowed, not knowing if he could hear her. “This I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just two more chapters left to write! And I’m getting into some good stuff, so I’m hoping to finish this weekend. So much motivation for this story. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

The next day, Elanor stood calmly in the throne room, listening as the wizard updated them on what had happened during the night. Her blue eyes moved over to the two halflings, with Pippin looking rather ashamed. Her heart went out to him. While he had potentially put them all in danger, she understood how strong a hold such magical objects would have on someone.

Braen stood at her side, also listening in as Gandalf informed the king that he and Pippin would be leaving for Gondor. He then urged the king to ride to Gondor’s aid when the call came. A back and forth between the king and Aragorn had ensued, though she calmly stayed out of it, deciding the politics of men were best left to men. She was only there to offer aid in battle - whether Rohan chose to join that battle or not. 

“They should leave now. Go and fight,” Braen said softly to her, his eyes still fixed on the men.

“It is not our place to step in,” she replied, glancing over at him. 

“But should we not say something in aid of the future king?” he asked softly, looking over at her. Elanor looked towards Aragorn, but said nothing. 

They continued for a time before the exchange ended, nothing being settled. She heaved a heavy sigh at the king’s indecision, noting that the battle to end all battles would go much better with the army of Rohan there as well. Regardless of what King Theoden felt about Gondor, this war affected them all. Even if they did not go to Gondor, they would still be drawn into it further.

All hope for a final victory rested on the tiny shoulders of a hobbit miles away from them. Elanor once again hoped that Sam and Frodo were safe and still on their journey, for it would be one fraught with danger.

“It seems King Theoden is undecided,” she replied as Aragorn turned his attention to them, walking over. She bowed her head to him. “Regardless, we will be ready to ride out with you when the time comes.”

“Thank you, my lady,” he replied, a slight look of relief on his face. 

“If you’ll excuse us, we should see to our soldiers and make sure that they will be ready,” she said. He nodded again as she and Braen strode off. “We need to replenish our arrows and see that our blades have been properly cleaned and sharpened.”

“Yes, my lady,” Braen said. 

“And also mend our armour,” Elanor continued. 

“Very well, my lady,” he said in response. 

“We must also make sure we have provisions ready,” she said. Braen stopped and grabbed Elanor’s arm gently, turning her to look at him.

“Everything is under control, my lady,” he said soothingly, a reassuring smile on his face. Elanor met his eyes and nodded, turning to look out across the sprawling village. “There are not many of us left so there is not much left to do to make sure we are ready to leave at a moment’s notice.” 

“I want to ensure that we do not lose anymore,” she replied, not looking at him. “The time of the elves is coming to an end and I want to make sure that those who remain are able to cross the seas when this is all over.” 

“You are a strong leader, Lady Elanor,” Braen said firmly, causing her to meet his eyes. “We trust that you will not lead us astray. You only need to trust yourself.” She nodded slightly. “You look as though you did not get much sleep. Perhaps you should get some rest. I can see to our soldiers.”

“No, I am fine,” she said, stepping away from him and continuing on, lifting her chin slightly. If she were truly to be a strong leader then now was as good a time as ever to show it.

~~~

Legolas could feel Aragorn’s eyes on him, but he did not say anything. Instead, Aragorn turned his attention to Eomer, speaking to him on numbers and how large an army he would be able to gather in a short amount of time, going over more details now that they had time to discuss such things, should it come to pass. Legolas took the time to follow Elanor’s progress as she stepped out of the hall, no doubt to inform her men of the latest news. 

“She seems different,” Gimli commented. Legolas glanced at him but did not answer. It had appeared as though she was calmer, making peace with everything. Perhaps their conversation the night before had helped. But at the same time, he did not want to assume that he had anything to do with this.

But his heart had warmed at the fire in her eyes. Before they had been dull, empty. At least now she did not appear to be moving through the motions. 

Perhaps this was a good sign, he could not help but think.

“Legolas,” Aragorn said, getting his attention. He turned to his friend, now focusing on him. He noticed that both Eomer and Aragorn were watching him closely. How long had he been thinking about Elanor while they were speaking?

After the two men shared a look, Aragorn began asking about strategies again, now that Legolas was paying attention. But still, he could not help as his thoughts followed Elanor, wherever she was at the moment.

~~~

“We will be ready,” Braen said as they stood before their remaining soldiers. She could not help as both of them looked to the horizon, though they both knew that it was at least a three-day ride to the city. There was no chance that Mithrandir would have arrived yet - he had left only a few hours ago.

She then looked back at the 30 soldiers now staring at her expectedly. Were they expecting her to give some sort of speech? She quickly gathered her thoughts, keeping her head held high as she met each elf’s eyes.

“I know this is not what we expected when we set out from Lothlorien. But I much appreciate that you all have decided to stay with me. Whatever comes, we will face this together,” she said, feeling her words rather inadequate.

Braen looked to the others before clearing his throat. 

“As said before, as we followed Haldir, we will now follow you,” he said. Elanor smiled gratefully at him, then looked at the others, noticing that they too held the same conviction in their eyes. All at once, she felt comforted. For she knew that she had their loyalty and support.

“Thank you,” she said. “In the meantime, keep sharp and ready. It will take three days for Mithandir to arrive at Minas Tirith, but we should be prepared for when the beacons are lit.” They all nodded solemnly and set out elsewhere, though Braen remained.

“It is true. Do not doubt yourself, my lady,” he said, stepping to her side.

“This was meant to be your position,” she said. “You were his second before me.”

“And I long knew that he was hoping you would take up the sword again so that he could give it to you,” Braen replied. Elanor’s eyes widened slightly. “We knew of your work with the guard in Mirkwood.” 

“But… I was still untested in Lothlorien,” she replied. Braen smiled slightly.

“Of course, Haldir knew from the training he had given you, but he had received word,” he said. “From the captain of the guard and the prince himself.” Elanor was speechless. “Extolling your talent. So, we decided we would wait and hope that someday you would join.”

Elanor looked back towards the main hall, her thoughts going to Tauriel and Legolas. After everything, they had spoken up for her. She was not so sure how to process this news. She then looked at Braen. 

“I… I am honored that you are my second,” she said, finding no other words coming to her in that moment. Braen smiled as though he understood and bowed.

“As always, I am here to serve,” he replied. He then turned and walked away. Elanor took a deep breath and looked around, wondering just what it was she was to do with herself. She decided it was best to find Merry and hopefully cheer up the now morose hobbit.

She found him in a corner of the great hall alone and looking a bit lost. He kept gazing around as though he were looking for someone, but then would look down at his hands, the loneliness creeping into his eyes. Sighing, Elanor looked around, wondering where the others in the Fellowship were. But not seeing them anywhere, she made her way over and sat next to him.

“Lady Elanor,” he said, perking up slightly.

“My apologies. I did not mean to be away so long,” she said. “Have you eaten?”

“Lady Eowyn went to see about some food, but I’m not so hungry,” he replied, once again appearing morose. Elanor reached out and took his hand, squeezing it affectionately.

“I too understand the pain of being parted from those you hold dear. But have faith, Merry. We shall all be reunited again,” she said, smiling at him. Merry’s eyes widened slightly as he looked away from her, his cheeks coloring.

“Yes, how could I forget. You lost many of your army at Helm’s Deep,” he replied. “And Haldir is so far away.”

Elanor’s heart clenched slightly as she thought of Haldir, potentially at death’s door

“It is not easy,” she said. “But I have to believe that Haldir and the others… they would not wish for us to give up. Sam and Frodo as well. We must keep our strength. Keep our hope. In them and in ourselves.”

“What made you decide to come?” Merry asked. Elanor smiled slightly.

“Haldir, I suppose… and my aunt, Galadriel,” she said. “I initially came to protect him, but in a way, I came to see it was the right thing to do. To help fight for Middle Earth. We are a part of it as well, are we not? I now see this is the path I was meant to take.”

Merry nodded and looked down at his hands. 

“Before when we were with the Ents, Pippin tried to convince me that we were too small to fight in this war. That we should go back to the Shire. And then in the end, he was the one that convinced Treebeard to lay siege to Isengard. Or well, he came up with the idea to show him the destruction in the hopes it would sway him to our side,” Merry said. “I had tried and failed, but Pippin managed to succeed.”

“I believe it was you who likely convinced Pippin you should fight, was it not?” she said. Merry stared at her a few moments and then nodded, looking away again, his legs swinging under the bench. “You are strong together, but you, Meridoc Brandybuck, are strong on your own. And nor are you too small to make a difference.”

“Sometimes doesn’t feel that way,” he admitted. 

“I can understand that,” she said, causing him to look up at her again, though now it was her time to look away. “There were many days when I did not think myself strong enough.” She frowned slightly. “Even now, I know that I must continue on. Continue to fight. But I struggle.”

“You’ve got me, my lady,” Merry said earnestly, causing her to look down at him. His blue eyes peered up at her with such earnest, she could not help but smile slightly. “And the others - Aragorn, Gimli. Legolas. The other elves, I’m sure as well.”

“I thank you for that,” Elanor replied. She then looked up, seeing Legolas step into the hall. Almost as though he could sense her presence, he looked over, meeting her eyes. He then quickly made his way to the two.

“Legolas,” Merry said, sounding a bit happier than before. The prince nodded to him, though his eyes lingered on Elanor. 

“I believe Lady Eowyn is searching for you. She asked that I send you to the kitchens,” he said, turning to look at the hobbit fully. Merry nodded and hopped up off the bench, already setting off out of the hall. Elanor rose smoothly, finding herself suddenly a bit uncertain now that they were alone together.

“He was feeling a bit down with Pippin leaving,” she said, watching as Merry walked out. 

“I am sure he is reeling. They have not been parted once on this journey,” he said. Elanor finally met his eyes, finding they took her breath away slightly. “How do you fare?”

“I am… better,” she said. “I have my company to look after. That gives me purpose.” He nodded and moved closer to her.

“I am happy to hear that,” he said. She continued to stare at him a moment before speaking.

“Braen… he told me that you had written to Haldir… spoke of my time on the guard of Mirkwood,” she said. Legolas’ eyes widened a bit before he smiled slightly and looked away. 

“I felt it was the least I could do… to atone for what I had done when you left,” he replied. “I did not know if you would choose to join the Lothlorien guard, but I wanted to help if you did.”

“Thank you,” she said. Legolas looked at her, offering a small smile that sent her aflutter.

“As I said, if you should need me, I am here for you, Elanor,” he said. “I truly meant that.” Elanor nodded and looked away, feeling slightly flustered. In that moment, she felt as though he were standing all too close, looking at her all too intensely. 

She felt as though she needed to step away if she wanted to keep her wits about her.

“If you’ll excuse me,” she said, turning and walking away. 

What was happening to her?

~~~

Elanor tightened her blanket around her as she sat in the chair before the fire again that night. She pulled her legs up into her chair, resting her chin on her knees as she stared into the flames. While she had done this the night before as she pondered Haldir, tonight, her thoughts were turning to Legolas.

She remembered the way she had felt when she learned that he had spoken up for her. When he had smiled at her. A soft smile filled her face as she remembered the flutter of her heart. Even now, she could feel it begin to pick up pace.

But just as suddenly, she felt guilt slide in. Here Haldir could very well be on the verge of death, and she was already thinking of her feelings towards Legolas. Shaking her head, she tried to push the thoughts of him away. She needed to be focused. This war was not over. Sam and Frodo were still somewhere out there on their own, taking a much more dangerous road. Pippin was somewhere on the road with Mithrandir, hoping to convince the steward of Gondor into lighting the beacons.

And then they would need to ride for Minas Tirith. 

The last thing that she needed to be thinking about was the Prince of Mirkwood. Even if she was still in love with him. She knew that she had promised Haldir, but the time was not yet right, she felt.

Elanor sat up at that thought, her legs falling to the floor. Of course, this was not the first time she had come to this realization. She had long known that she was in love with Legolas. Had gone through all the stages - the excitement and then worry. Then despair when she thought perhaps, he was in love with Tauriel. Hope again. Then none as she was sure he had rejected her. And now, there was hope again. But still, she did not think she could say anything to him.

They were in the midst of a war for Middle Earth. And despite his words, they could very easily be taken as the words of a friend concerned for another. They did have a long history together; had grown up together. Not to mention, he was likely attempting to further make amends for their century rift. 

Elanor looked towards the door, going as far as to rise from her chair and take a step towards it. But then she stopped, unsure of just where she thought she was going. It was late at night. Surely all the others would be asleep by now. Even if she did find him, what would she say?

_“The truth…”_

Elanor looked around the room, frowning. Of course, Haldir’s memory would choose now to come forth. 

“I cannot,” she said softly, almost feeling foolish for continuing to speak to her captain and friend as though he were still here when he was far away. What would the others say to her if they knew? They would likely think she had lost her sense. 

_“Yes, you can… There is still time…”_

“I will not speak to him this night,” she said, slightly indignant. 

_“Do not wait too long, Elanor…”_

Huffing slightly, she walked over and sat back down, staring into the flames of the fire. After all this time, could she possibly tell Legolas what was on her heart and mind? That she had fallen in love with him centuries before and even still, harbored such feelings for him? Because despite everything, she did still love him. It had not waned or faded. It would not, for their kind did not fall in and out of love on a whim. 

But did she have it in her to come clean to him? Did she deserve to find happiness with him after everything? She looked up at the ceiling, still feeling Haldir’s presence and knew that he would have something to say of that thought.

“Yes, yes, I know,” she grumbled, before her mind could conjure a response. “I will live, just… allow me to live in my own timing.” As if to make a point, she glared up at the ceiling. It seemed as though her mind had taken pity on her finally, as no response came.

Sighing, she made her way to her bed, hoping that perhaps sleep would help calm her mind. At least before she had to face Legolas tomorrow. Breathing a prayer to the Valar, she settled in and closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post another chapter as I’m halfway finished with the final one. I have to admit – the last two chapters veered in a direction I hadn’t intended to take but decided to go with it. While it’s not *exactly* kosher with elf culture, it kind of works and makes for a more entertaining reunion with certain people… but that’s all I’ll say for now. I’ll comment more when I get there.
> 
> And I’m thinking of posting what I had written for the first version, for anyone interested in it. While I did reuse a lot of that story for this one, it’s still fairly different. There are a lot more flashbacks – and different flashbacks. And well, as I said before, Elanor ends up marrying Haldir shortly after the Fellowship leaves Lothlorien. And yea, Legolas really was crushing on Tauriel. But then I realized none of that would fall in line with the lore created around the elves (and I couldn’t figure out an ending), so ditched it and started over.
> 
> But yea, thanks for reading and following!


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

A few days later, Elanor ducked under a sword and kicked out, landing a strong blow to Eomer’s chest and causing him to stumble back. Before he could recover, she spun around and landed another kick, knocking his sword out of his hand, holding her own out to his chest. He held his hands up in defeat, smirking slightly at her as there was a smattering of claps and cheers. She couldn’t help but smile as she lowered her sword and then walked over, picking his up from the ground and then held it out to him hilt first.

The man smiled and accepted it.

“I must admit, you are most formidable,” he said, seeming impressed. “Though I would expect nothing less from an elven soldier.”

“One does not become captain without the ability to fight,” she said lightly, sheathing her sword. She couldn’t help as a small, smug smile came across her face. 

She enjoyed sparring with the Lord of the Mark, finding his demeanor and dry humor amusing. And he, too, was a formidable fighter. As far as ways to pass the time, sparring with him and others was a decent way to do so as they waited.

And she had to admit that it pleased her to earn the respect of Eomer and the men that fought for him.

“That is true,” he admitted, looking around at his men. His eyes then turned to the horizon, with Elanor following. They had all been searching it more often than not lately as a nervous energy settled on the city. They were all waiting for any sign that Mithrandir had broken through to the steward and grew more anxious as each day passed with no word.

And the beacons still had not been lit.

Elanor never left her room without her pack made ready so that she could grab it in a moment’s notice. She had already spoken at length with Eomer, who situated her company with horses. But with all those preparations made, they had nothing to do but wait. Elanor had taken to spending much of her time on the training grounds, working with Eomer or other soldiers of Rohan and her company to keep ready and in form.

And if she were being truly honest with herself, to avoid speaking at length with Legolas.

She worried that one look in his eyes would have everything tumbling from her lips and she was not yet ready to have that conversation with him. Even now, she tensed as she could see him step up to the grounds with Gimli, the two now seemingly inseparable, out of the corner of her eye. 

She then returned her attention to Eomer, intending to ask for another round.

“Perhaps we should see how you fare against one of your own,” a voice called out. Elanor looked over, seeing Legolas smiling at her as he walked up. For a moment, her voice left her. 

It had been so long since she had seen that playful side of him. Even Gimli seemed amused by his disposition.

“Ah, but doesn’t the lassie know all your tells?” Gimli shouted boisterously, his grin apparent under his beard. “And you hers? This might not be as entertaining as you think!”

“Perhaps, but it has been a rather long time since we sparred,” Legolas said, already swinging his sword around. “Or, perhaps the lady is too tired.”

In an instant, it was as though she were back thousands of years - to when it was only the two of them on the training grounds. Her competitive spark roared into a fire as she narrowed her eyes at him and a smirk appeared on her face. All of her previous worry and concern fled from her as all she thought about was wiping the smug smile from his face. 

Much as she had when they were younger.

“Careful of your words, _your highness_ ,” she said snarkily as she pulled her sword out, matching his own relaxed poise as they began to circle each other, Eomer quickly stepping out of the way. “They could very well be your last.”

“I am most eager to see you try,” Legolas quipped in return. “Last I remember, we stood at 20 to 25.”

“Your mind must be addled with age. It’s 21 to 21,” she said quickly. Legolas only raised an eyebrow in reply, neither correcting her nor accepting her words as truth.

She heard Gimli chuckling in the background as he began placing bets with nearby soldiers, but pushed it aside, not wanting to be distracted. It was true they had spent many years fighting together or sparring against each other. He had trained with her. Trained her on his own as well. But it had been a century since they fought together.

However, now was not the time to allow her concerns to overwhelm her. She decided to wait and watch, allowing him to make the first move. It had been a long time and she needed to assess his movement first. Wait for him to reveal his weaknesses and not assume they would be the same. Legolas stopped moving and Elanor fixed her eyes on him. He stood still for so long, she wondered if he would move or if he was waiting for her to move, taunting her with his casual smile. But then suddenly, she saw it. The slight twitch of his finger that would be imperceptible to the human eye and she knew he was about to lunge towards her. 

In an instant, they were in motion, both constantly moving with Elanor blocking his blows more than she was striking out. She knew that she could only keep up this approach for so long. She needed to go on the offense. But the prince wasn’t making it easy for her. At this moment, she felt as though she spent more time pivoting just out of his reach than she did attempting to land blows.

After some time, she worried that she was not going to be able to land an attack and she could see that Legolas was beginning to think this as well. It was clear in the way he was beginning to smile. But just as he had always done, he started to get too confident. 

That was always his downfall when they sparred before and it seemed it had not changed. Elanor fought off a smirk as she waited for her opening. It would be any time now, she could sense.

There.

Elanor spun around, bringing her sword down. Legolas blocked it, but in the split second before he moved, she brought her leg up and kicked him hard in the chest. Taken by surprise, he stumbled back slightly and before he could regain his footing, Elanor launched her assault. The smile faded from his face as Legolas gritted his teeth and doubled-down on his efforts to block her while searching for an opening, but she knew that she had rattled him. 

And that was all she needed. 

Soon enough, she was standing over him as she kicked his sword away from his outstretched hand, pointing her own at his chest. A brilliant grin filled her face as she caught her breath.

“It seems you have learned some things,” he said, his eyes widened slightly, though he, too, was smiling. Elanor could not help as a warmth settled in her stomach at the sight.

“Perhaps,” she said, sheathing her sword and holding her hand out to him. Legolas accepted it and for a moment, she felt a spark of something rush through her. It startled her and all Elanor could do was stare dumbly at her hand in his.

Sensing her distraction, Legolas jumped to his feet and swung her around, holding her close to his chest in a tight hold. All reasonable thought left Elanor’s mind as all she could focus on was his lean body pressed against hers. 

“What did I always tell you? Never let your guard down,” he said in her ear, causing shivers to run down her spine. But now was not the time, she suddenly realized. The match was not yet over. She narrowed her eyes as she immediately went back on guard, managing to use her weight and momentum to flip him over her back. Shouts started up as the two elves engaged once more. 

It appeared the others were entertained that the match was continuing.

For a few tense minutes, the two forgot there was a crowd as they went back and forth. In one moment, Elanor had gained the upper hand, but he quickly hopped to his feet and began to circle her again. Then he once again had her in a hold, but Elanor tripped him up, causing him to tumble to the ground again. Legolas then reached out and pulled her to the ground, rolling on top of her before she could react. Elanor struggled against him, but found he would not budge.

“A tie, perhaps?” he said, his face close to hers. Elanor then froze, finally understanding just how compromising the position they were in was. Her sight zeroed in on his lips and she felt the heat pool in her cheeks as for a moment, all she could think about was kissing him. She then moved her eyes back up to his eyes, which were full of mirth.

She was certain that he had not missed her look and that only made her more embarrassed and frustrated, snapping her fully out of her daze. She was instantly all too aware of the many eyes that were still on them, including those of her company. 

Her pride was slightly bruised at being beaten in the match, but now lying under him on the ground only made her embarrassment multiply. 

“Yes… a tie. Let me up, Legolas,” she nearly growled. The prince took his time getting up then offered his hand, which she ignored as she got to her feet and brushed herself off. She looked around, her eyes falling on Braen, who had just walked up to the training grounds. Without a word to Legolas, she walked over to him. “What news?”

“We are in need of arrows,” he said, his eyes flinting over to Legolas and then back to her. Whatever he was thinking, she was grateful that he didn’t voice or express it in any way. She did not think that she could handle anymore embarrassment at the moment.

“I shall head to the armory to see to it,” she said quickly before walking off. She needed to get away from Legolas, though she could hear various chortles and amused comments from the Rohorrim.

Once she was deep into the armory and alone, Elanor leaned her forehead against a wall, allowing the cool stone to soothe her. She had let herself get away there for a moment and the fact that it had happened in full view of others only made it worse. 

For not the first time in the last few days, she wished she had someone there to give her advice or just listen to her. Her mother or Haldir. Even her father would likely have something to say that she would appreciate. These things running through her mind were not of a nature that she felt comfortable discussing with Braen. Nor did she wish to divulge her secrets to Lady Eowyn - it would take far too long to explain everything about their history for her to fully understand regardless.

So, here Elanor stood, alone in the armoury with nothing but her thoughts, which were many and vexing.

“Pull yourself together, Elanor,” she murmured to herself. She then stepped back from the wall, turned and then leaned against it, sliding down to sit on the ground as she took in the emptiness and silence of the room. It was a welcome respite with all the noise her thoughts were creating in her mind.

For a moment, she considered sneaking into the kitchens and retrieving wine to help calm her nerves, but she knew now was not the time with the beacons possibly being lit at any moment. So instead, she leaned her head back against the wall, allowing her thoughts to take her over. 

~~~

_“Again!”_

_Elanor grunted as she ran through the drills, her frustration spiking. They had been training for hours and she was growing weary both physically and out of boredom of repetition. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she could see Legolas slowly walking around her, his eyes catching her every movement._

_“Perhaps more good would come from sparring,” she said, not stopping._

_“Again,” Legolas said, ignoring her. “You must increase your speed.”_

_Elanor grunted, swinging her sword harder than intended, embedding it deep in the wooden dummy. She took a few steps back, glaring at it._

_“You are allowing your frustration to cloud your movement,” he said calmly. She continued to glare at the weapon. She had heard the statement so many times before that she wanted to smack Legolas across the face. But that would get her nowhere save more drills, so, instead she pushed her hair out of her face and walked over, grabbing hold of the hilt and yanking._

_“You must be focused,” he continued._

_“I know!” she said sternly, yanking harder._

_“You cannot-”_

_“I KNOW!” she roared, finally dislodging the sword and stumbling back a few steps._

_She was not sure why, but she could feel hot tears welling up in her eyes. Perhaps she was tired from training. Perhaps it was the argument she had had with her father that morning. Or perhaps it was because everytime Legolas stepped near her, her heart began to pound so violently, she was sure that he could hear it. Every time he looked upon her, she was sure that her thoughts and affections for him were clearly written across her face._

_Yet, every day he was spending more and more time with Tauriel and it hurt. Painfully. Much like her pride hurt when he was harsh during these private training sessions. She didn’t really need them, but it was the only time of late that she could be alone with him. While it had begun in much the same way as all their other sessions, for whatever reason he was was starting to grate on her already frayed nerves._

_She turned to glare at him, fighting to control her tears. She would never become a great fighter if she could not control herself. As always, it was her emotions that frustrated her in the end. Lifting her chin slightly, she swallowed whatever tears were threatening to fall._

_“Again,” Legolas said, his face betraying nothing. Elanor nodded, turning back and lifting her sword again. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to calm down. To focus. She started through the various movements that she knew by heart, trying to push aside everything in her mind but the task at hand. No Legolas. No feelings._

_“Faster.”_

_Elanor picked up her pace, ignoring the fact that her arms were tiring and starting to ache._

_“Good. Smoother.”_

_Gritting her teeth, she attempted to smooth out her movements. Now her legs were beginning to hurt._

_“Do not stop.”_

_Giving a loud shout, she swung and completely missed the dummy, her legs tangling up as she then fell to the ground. As the air was knocked from her lungs, she closed her eyes a moment, before glaring up at the branches above her. Legolas’ face then appeared in her line of sight._

_“Give me a moment,” she hissed._

_Rather than a stern look, his face softened. His face disappeared and Elanor glanced over a few times as he laid down on the ground next to her, staring up at the branches. Rather than stare, she too, turned her attention back to the sky above._

_“Sometimes I miss the days when we spent most of our time running in the woods, sneaking off from our lessons,” he said suddenly, surprising her. Elanor frowned as she looked over at him, but the prince’s eyes were still fixed above. “Not preparing to fight or… learning diplomacy.”_

_“Your father is not so bad,” Elanor said. Legolas turned to look at her, an incredulous look on his face. “Well… not with me.”_

_“He actually likes you,” Legolas replied. “Sometimes I feel he prefers you to me.”_

_“That is not true. He loves you. You’re his son,” she replied immediately. “Perhaps he does not always show it… or well, he’s just…”_

_“Cold? Indifferent?” Legolas said._

_“Complicated,” she replied._

_“At least yours still shows warmth to you,” Legolas said, looking back up at the branches. Elanor did not reply at first, instead studying his face - his lashes that fanned out against his perfect skin, the curve of his lips. For a moment, she wondered how they would feel against hers._

_Elanor’s head snapped back up to the branches, her cheeks flushing. Why would she allow herself to think such a thing right now? She must save these thoughts for when she was alone, or at least when she was not in Legolas’ presence._

_“It would seem as though we both have difficult fathers,” she replied, keeping her voice calm._

_“At least we will always have each other,” Legolas said. Elanor turned her head again, meeting his eyes as she felt her heart skip a beat, seeing his soft smile. He had not uttered such words in a long time. She could not speak for a few moments, taken aback. Finally, she nodded._

_“Yes… we will always have each other…”_

~~~

Elanor opened her eyes and looked around the room, hearing that someone had entered. She quickly stood and wiped her cheeks, unsure of how long she had been there, lost in her memories. 

She had just straightened herself when Legolas rounded a corner, a look of concern on his face. It was the opposite of the mirth she had seen before, and he appeared truly distressed over her.

“I worried when you did not return,” he said, stepping up to her.

“I am fine,” she said quickly, her heart starting to beat slightly faster. 

“You were crying,” he replied, taking in her face as he furrowed his brow.

“It is not of your doing,” she said, not wanting to tell him what she was really thinking about. “I am afraid I allowed my memories to get away from me.” 

“Haldir,” he said softly. She looked over at him, momentarily stunned by the emotion she saw there. And that he would automatically assume that Haldir was who she had been thinking of.

She had not seen him this open to her in such a long time. There had been many times in their past when he could hide nothing from her. But the last few hundred years before she left Mirkwood, she had felt him slowly close off, holding things back from her. It still took her aback to see him open to her yet again.

“He truly is a light in the darkness,” she replied, deciding it was safer to allow Legolas to continue assuming that was whom she had been thinking of for now. Better that than to tell him that she had been reminiscing of him. She hesitated a moment before speaking further. “But I am grateful that I have you here with me.” 

A look of hope came over his face. He looked to the ground a few moments before taking a deep breath and seeming to steel himself. He then looked up, meeting her eyes.

“I’ve told you before, but truly, there was never a time when I did not think of you while you were away,” he said earnestly. “I often wished to reach out to you…”

“Why did you not?” Elanor asked without thinking. Her heart began to flutter. Shame suddenly flooded Legolas’ features.

“With the way that you left, I thought that you would not wish to hear from me,” he said. “I did not wish to cause you more strife. But ever since that day, all I wished was to make things right between us. To regain the relationship we once had and to possibly… grow closer still...” 

Elanor took a deep breath, feeling everything coming to the surface as she studied him. There was so much more to that statement than what he was saying; it was clear in his eyes. And it both terrified and excited her. 

Was this perhaps the moment? Was this the opportunity for her to finally tell him everything? She fought with herself a few moments, but found the words coming out of their own accord.

“I… I thought of you often as well. Near constantly, I should think,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She paused, still unsure, but there was something in his eyes, urging her to continue. She could not help as she stepped closer to him, starting to reach out for him. “Despite how I left, I…”

“LADY ELANOR!”

As soon as she heard her name and the pounding of feet, she jumped back from Legolas, her eyes wide as her heart pounded at the sudden interruption. Braen rounded the corner, stopping as he saw her standing with Legolas. He then quickly recovered from his shock and strode towards her purposely.

“What is it, Braen?” Elanor asked. 

“The beacons have been lit. We ride for Minas Tirith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, war… biggest cock block there is. But I decided to let Elanor and Legolas have a bit of fun before things get serious again. Really had fun with the whole fighting/flirting scene. And I promise, there are more lighthearted scenes coming… we’re getting there… And I’m so close to finishing up the writing. Spent time today mostly editing everything up until the last chapter, but I’m *this* close to finishing it. Maybe tonight…
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Elanor stood at the edge of the mountain cliff, looking down at the large number of tents and campfires spread out in the valley, marveling at how quickly they had been able to muster such a force. They were still waiting on others, but tomorrow the final ride to Minas Tirith would begin. 

Where they very well could be expected to fight as soon as they arrived. Truthfully, no one really knew just what lay ahead for them in Minas Tirith or when Sauron’s forces would choose to attack. Or if they had already laid siege to the city. Scouts had been sent out, yes, but it was a long ride to Minas Tirith. They would be on the road by the time they returned with news.

A frown came over Elanor’s face as she looked over the rows and rows of tents, the fires dotting the darkened camp site. Though there were many, she could not help but question whether it would be enough, thinking over the briefing they had just after they had set up camp, where Theoden and Eomer had gone over the various forces they would muster - roughly 6,000. That did not bode well for their chances against Sauron’s forces, which appeared limitless at times, but it would have to do.

For a moment, Elanor wished they had had more time to recuperate after the battle at Helm’s Deep, to ride farther to send for more aid, more soldiers. But they had run out of time. They would need to do what they could with what they had.

Turning, she started back towards the rows of tents, her eyes roaming the camp as she searched for Legolas. After their interruption, there had been no time to continue their conversation. Though part of her wasn’t entirely sure she wanted Legolas to know the full depth of her affections right now - the other wanted desperately to take advantage of this moment. For who knew what they would find in Minas Tirith.

“My lady,” Braen said as he approached her, bowing. 

“At this point, I think Elanor will suffice,” she said, a small smile on her face. “We have spent much of the last few days in each other’s constant company and I do consider you a friend.” He considered this, then smiled in return.

“Well then… Elanor, the others are now resting for the night, but they are prepared and ready to fight,” he said. 

“Good. You should get something to eat and rest as well. It will be a hard few days coming,” she said. “I will stop by later to speak with them all before I retire for the night.” 

Braen nodded and then turned, walking off to join the others. Sighing, Elanor glanced around, anticipations thrumming through her body in such a way that she worried she would get any rest that night. Of course, this was often how she was before combat. Each and every patrol she had taken part in, she had spent most of the night before up, pacing. 

Perhaps she should keep her hands busy? See to her weapons. No, she had already taken care of that. And she was not hungry. Perhaps she should speak with her troops and then perhaps find Merry and Eowyn. Even Gimli. Anyone to keep her entertained and distracted.

With luck, perhaps she would find Legolas and the courage to finish what they had started. 

So, onward she walked through the camp, not particularly watching where she was going. Elanor’s feet carried her to a tent where Eowyn was staying not far off from her own. She had seen the human woman and hobbit together earlier and felt that perhaps Merry might still be with her. 

Sure enough, as she walked closer, she saw Merry step out of the tent in the armour of Rohan, Eowyn chuckling behind him. She quickly shooed him off to the smith.

“I do not doubt his heart, just the reach of his arm,” Elanor heard Eomer say as she reached them. The other men seated around him chuckled as they continued with their dinner.

“He has just as much reason to go to war as you do. Why can he not fight for those he loves,” Eowyn shot back, a scowl on her face. Eomer turned to respond, an amused smile stretching across his lips.

“May I remind you that one’s size is certainly no indication of their ability in a fight,” Elanor said, stepping up to Eowyn’s side. The woman smiled at her in appreciation before turning back to frown at her brother. “As I recall, I am smaller in stature but have bested you several times, Lord of the Mark.”

Eomer frowned as the men began laughing loudly around him. Elanor smirked slightly.

“You would allow him to ride into battle?” Eomer questioned, turning his frown to her. Elanor shrugged.

“I would prefer he not, as he has very little combat experience, but it is not my choice to make. If he wishes to fight, then he should fight,” Elanor said. “I believe anyone with the passion and desire to protect those they love should be able to do so.” She glanced at Eowyn out of the corner of her eye, seeing her stare defiantly down at her brother. “Be they hobbit, man… or woman.”

Eomer studied her closely a few moments before smiling slightly. 

“I must admit, I find you most interesting, my lady,” he finally said. 

“I only speak what is on my mind,” Elanor replied breezily, her eyes already scanning around the camp again, searching for _him_.

She would find no peace this night until she spoke to him, this she knew.

“Tell me, Lady Elanor, just how long does an elf train before they are allowed to see combat?” one of the others around the campfire asked. Elanor turned her attention back to them, tucking a strand of her hair that hung loose around her shoulders behind her ear.

“Depends. Some it is but a few hundred years - some more, some less,” she replied. “I, myself, trained around 200 years, though I likely would have made the guard sooner if it weren’t for… certain obstacles.” She frowned slightly, thinking back to the many arguments she had had with her father about learning to fight.

“She trained with none other than the Prince of Mirkwood,” Eowyn contributed, her nose slightly up in the air. Elanor glanced at her, tempted to chuckle. She did not expect the men of Rohan to give two wits about the elven prince, though they did hold his skills at fighting in high regard.

Most likely did not even realize he was the son of King Thranduil.

“Prince, you said?” Eomer said, studying her closely again, an odd look in his eye. No doubt thinking of their sparring match.

“We grew up together. My father is an advisor to his. My family has done so for many centuries,” Elanor said, suddenly feeling far too exposed. Though she was unsure just how much they understood about the politics of the elves, it was a subject that she would rather not get into at the moment. She might be stuck explaining it for the entire night. “If you’ll excuse me, there are things I must attend to.”

Elanor inclined her head slightly, then spun on her toes and strode away. 

“Does that make her some sort of nobility?” she overheard one of the men ask, causing her to chuckle. Though rather than continue to listen in, she picked up her pace.

Where was Legolas?

~~~

Legolas felt a bit on edge as he made his way through camp. He knew that he should be resting as they had a rather arduous journey ahead of them, but he would find no peace until he spoke with Elanor.

The memory of that moment in the armory was still all too fresh in his mind and he could not help but feel as though they had been on the cusp of something. That she had been ready to tell him something important. He did not wish to allow himself for a moment to consider that she could possibly harbor more for him than fondness and friendship, but his heart seemed to have already run away from him, bathed in hope.

In his mind, he could clearly see the expression on her face, the depth of her feelings in her blue eyes. He had wanted to reach out and touch her cheek. To press his lips against hers. To tell her that it was she he had always loved and loved still. That the feeling of her body under his during their sparring match had excited him in ways he could not fully explain.

And then the mood had been broken.

Since they received news that the beacons had been lit and that Theoden and Rohan would ride to Gondor’s aid, it had been never ceasing action. Elanor had been busy overseeing the elven company with Braen as he had been with Aragorn and Gimli. He had barely seen her since the armoury. 

The longer he was away from her presence, the more restless Legolas grew. And with them once again on the cusp of battle, he knew that he must grasp this last opportunity to finally tell her the truth once and for all. 

From afar, his sharp eyes fell on her figure standing with Eowyn and Eomer. Legolas stopped, his heart beginning to beat rapidly as there was a fluttering in his stomach. Despite all the hecticness, she appeared calm, an easy smile on her face. Her golden hair was down, shining brightly despite the dark. It had been so long since he had seen her like this that for a moment, Legolas did not wish to intrude. But then his feet began moving again, as though his heart had now taken control of his body and was urging him forward. 

But then something else out of the corner of his eye stopped him. He turned, seeing Aragorn slinking through the tents, glancing around to make sure that he moved unnoticed. He was fully dressed, with a pack thrown over his shoulder. Legolas found the movements odd.

Legolas frowned as he changed course and made to follow his friend, deciding it more prudent to check on him first. For if he were leaving now, it would surely mean he was to take on some sort of serious task. One that he would need help with. 

On Aragorn continued moving until he found his horse hidden among the tents, quickly making ready his saddle. A trail of smoke rose up into the air and Legolas looked over, seeing that Gimli was seated next to one of the tents, but Aragorn had not noticed, so intent on his task. The dwarf looked to Legolas, his bushy eyebrows raised in question.

“Just where do you think you’re going?” Gimli called out as Legolas quickly made his way to his side. The man stopped and looked over at the elf and dwarf, then sighed. 

“I must do this,” he said. 

“We were not about to say that you should not - whatever it may be,” Legolas replied. “Only that perhaps you should not do it alone.” 

“No, it is too dangerous,” Aragorn said immediately.

“Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves?” Legolas asked, smirking slightly Aragorn stopped his preparations, looking back to the two again. 

“I must take the Dimholt Road and summon the Army of the Dead,” he said, his voice low as he glanced around again. “We are greatly outnumbered and if we wish to find victory at Minas Tirith, we will need them.” 

Legolas frowned. The cursed army would listen to no one but the King of Gondor. While Aragorn was Isildur’s heir, he had yet to take the throne. How would they get the army of traitors to listen and follow him?

As if sensing his reservations, Aragorn reached down to the hilt of the sword at his side, pulling it out of its sheath in one swift movement. Legolas stepped back, momentarily stunned.

“The blade that was broken,” he murmured. 

“From the shards of Narsil has been forged Anduril. And this is how I must summon the dead,” Aragorn said, quickly putting his sword away and turning back to his horse. “But I must leave now. There is a ways to go and I must make haste if I am to make it to Minas Tirith in time.”

“And you will not go alone,” Legolas said firmly. Aragorn stopped, turning to look at him and Gimli, his mouth already opening as though he would protest.

“We’re going with you, laddie,” Gimli echoed. “No use in arguing.” 

Aragorn was silent a few moments, looking back and forth between the two. He finally nodded, glancing around the camp again. Legolas swore he saw a brief flicker of relief in his eyes. 

“Hurry and gather your things. We must make haste,” Aragorn said. Legolas nodded and turned, striding towards his tent. He then stopped suddenly, his eyes flinting around the camp as he searched for her once more. He could not see Elanor and did not know where she went.

Sighing, he continued on, focused on the task at hand. They did not have much time, but he prayed it was enough to say good-bye.

~~~

Elanor quickly made her way through the tents, still in search of Legolas, but then stopped abruptly, sensing someone who should not be there. Her eyes scanned her surroundings until she fell upon a figure in a dark cloak on the outskirts, preparing to mount a horse. 

Silently, she made her way towards the figure, noting that it could not be one of the men from his clothing. But just as she reached the man, a dagger drawn, the figure whirled around, pulling down its hood.

“Lord Elrond,” she said, her eyes wide as she dipped into a hasty bow. “What brings you forth to this place?”

The older elf studied her closely a few moments before answering. 

“I could ask of you the same. I had assumed that you returned to Lothlorien with the others,” he replied. Elanor’s eyes widened as she stepped closer.

“You have word of Haldir?” she asked breathlessly. “How does he fare?”

“He is alive. Healing. Durothil has consulted with me and we believe that he will survive,” Elrond said. Elanor felt as though a weight had been lifted from her chest.

Haldir would live. She had not lost him. 

“But again, just why is it that you did not return to Lothlorien? Your task is done,” Elrond said. 

“Lady Galadriel,” Elanor said. “She told me that this is where my path led, that my task was not fulfilled. I am leading a small company of elves who survived Helm’s Deep. And you? You have yet to say just why you would venture from Imladris to meet with the King of Rohan.”

“It was not Theoden I came to see. I was here to deliver a gift to Isildur’s Heir. One that he will need to complete the next part of his journey,” he said solemnly. Elanor frowned slightly, not understanding. “Aragorn must take a different road - a dark road - to Minas Tirith. Only he can accomplish this next undertaking.”

Elanor continued to stare at him in confusion, unsure of what Elrond was speaking of. A brisk breeze blew, carrying with it a sense of foreboding. She turned towards the mountain, her eyes settling on the direction of the pass leading to the Dimholt Road. Of course, she knew the stories of what lurked there. Being so near kept the horses - and many men - on edge. Even Elanor herself felt a sense of unease whenever she stepped too close.

It was then that she realized what Elrond had been speaking about, the task that Aragorn must take on. She turned back to him, her eyes widening.

“This is a dangerous path,” she said. Elrond nodded slowly.

“He knows. But as Isildur’s Heir, only Aragorn can accomplish this,” he replied. 

“Yes, I see,” Elanor said, her brow furrowed slightly. She then whipped her head back to the pass, in her heart knowing that contrary to what Elrond had said, Aragorn would not be taking this path alone. 

Not if Legolas and Gimli had any say in it.

“I’m so sorry, I fear I must take my leave. There is something urgent I must attend to. Safe journeys, Lord Elrond,” Elanor said, turning back to him. Elrond inclined his head towards her, but Elanor did not see as she turned and began running towards the pass, praying that she was not too late and had not already missed them. Surely they were still here.

She bound in and around soldiers, ignoring whatever looks of contempt that she might have gotten as she ran usually haphazardly through the camp. She had to see Legolas before he left. Though she avoided him partially out of embarrassment, now that she knew he would be leaving on a dangerous road, it was time to put that and her fear aside.

She slid to a halt, watching as Legolas stood finishing up the last of the straps on the saddle bag of his horse. His slender fingers stopped and he turned to her, almost as though he had sensed her presence. Elanor then took the last few steps towards him.

“Is it true?” she asked, speaking in their tongue. He nodded.

“I could not allow him to take this journey alone,” he said, his voice and expression solemn. Elanor nodded, looking to the ground as she sorted through her thoughts. She did not have long, this she knew, which only made it more difficult to settle on just what words to say. 

“Elanor…”

She looked up, seeing that he had closed more of the distance between them. He reached out and took her hands in his, his blue eyes blazing down at her in conviction. The same spark as before spread throughout her body at the touch.

“I will meet you on the battle ground in Minas Tirith,” he said softly. “Though the way may be dangerous, nothing will stop me from returning to you.” 

Elanor swallowed, seeing the determination in the depths of his eyes. It was enough for her to believe. And yet, still she could not make her tongue to work the way that she wished. So, instead she let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close in a fierce embrace. If her words would not work, at least she could show her feelings in this way.

She could feel the steady beat of his heart in his chest as she closed her eyes and fought off the thought that this could be the last time she held him.

“You must come back to me,” she whispered. “You must, because I… I…” The words stopped as Elanor cursed her tongue yet again.

She felt a slight pressure on her head and knew immediately that he had likely placed a kiss there. She then stepped back at him, struggling to keep her tears away.

“I understand... I will return to you. Do not shed tears for me, Ella,” he said, smiling softly as he reached out and gently wiped a tear away. He then stepped away from her and walked to the horse where Gimli was now waiting. 

The dwarf nodded towards her before Legolas helped him up and then mounted, settling on the horse just in front of him. He looked at Elanor one last time and she swore she saw a fire burning there. They quickly fell in line behind Aragon, the three headed through the camp towards the pass.

Elanor watched until she could no longer see them, then turned and began making her way through the sea of tents to her own, wanting nothing more than to be alone with her thoughts and tears. She knew in her heart that he would do everything he could to return, but she also knew that life could always get in the way. 

“Did you hear? Lord Aragorn has left the camp.”

“He has no faith in us. He knows we will lose.”

“He is a coward.”

Elanor stopped, her head snapping over to glare at the group of three soldiers huddled together. 

“They all are - the dwarf and the elf went as well. At least the other elves have stayed.

Without a word, Elanor bounded over to them, her fury clear on her face.

“Hold your tongue and do not speak of such things that you do not understand,” she hissed, causing them to jump in surprise. “They do not leave because they are cowards or have lost faith - they leave because it is their duty to seek out help. They are far braver than you will ever be, for the road they take is far more dangerous.” 

She glowered at the men a bit longer, watching as they squirmed, before she spun around and strode towards her tent.

“Elanor, is it true?” Braen asked, rushing up to her just outside her tent. She sighed and looked back towards the mountain.

“They go to seek out the army of the dead,” she said finally, looking back to him. “But they have promised to meet us at Minas Tirith.” He contemplated this a moment before nodding.

“Very well,” he said.

“Please, get some rest. Dawn will be upon us all too soon,” Elanor said, her expression softening.

“You as well, Elanor,” Braen said. He bowed his head and then turned, leaving.

Sighing, Elanor finally made her way into her tent. She was unsure if she would ever find sleep that night, beginning to pace around. But she then stopped, her eyes going to the front flap

“Come back to me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Great news! I have finished writing the last chapter! Still needs a fair bit of editing – I’m not completely happy with it – but at least its done and editing will be far faster/easier than getting it down on in the first place.
> 
> As you can see, we’re getting into spots where I decided to pull from the books a bit more, while including some of the actual dialogue from the movie. The next few chapters have a bit more of that, but honestly, it was done well the first time around, so I didn’t want to change it much. But I do try to focus on what’s going on outside the scenes we all know from the books/movies so that it’s not a word-for-word retelling (cause that could get tedious and boring).
> 
> TBH, I might end up taking a break from fanfiction after this story, just because I don’t really have anything calling to me at the moment. Granted, I’ve said that before and it ended up becoming famous last words because I got ideas for 3 more stories shortly after I said it and never ended up taking that break… Anywho…
> 
> As always, thanks everyone for reading and following!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

For a moment, fear attempted to seize Elanor’s heart as she looked out at Pelennor Fields. Pandemonium reigned supreme and it was clear that the army of Gondor was losing energy as they fought valiantly against Sauron’s hordes. She gripped her reins tightly, waiting for the King of Rohan to give the order, part of her eager to join the fight though the other wished to turn and ride in the opposite direction. It was folly to think that they could win this - they barely won a Helm’s Deep.

She then shook her head as she straightened up in her saddle looking to the elves around her with fierce determination in her eyes. 

“Strength and courage, my friends,” she said calmly. “If we die today, then we die with honor doing what is right and just.” She then swallowed her last bit of fear. “And if I die today, I am grateful that I die with such noble elves and strong fighters at my side.” 

“Strength and courage,” Braen shouted, the others following suit.

She fixed her eyes ahead, already assessing the battle as she heard Theoden run his sword along the line of spears. 

“Arise, arise, Riders of Theoden! Spear shall be shaken, shield shall be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now, ride now, ride! Ride for ruin and the world’s ending! Death! Death! Death! Forth Eorlingas!”

Elanor felt strength surge through her as the many soldiers all shouted in one voice. She pulled out her sword, lifting it high as she glanced at Braen next to her. He nodded, towards her, silently reassuring her that he would be at her side. 

She then turned her focus forward. With one word, the entire company surged forward across the field. A fierce battle cry left her lips as all thoughts of Haldir or Legolas left her and the only thing in her mind was the desire to save Middle Earth.

~~~

Elanor grunted as she landed her blade into the belly of a Southron man and then kicked him away, pain shooting up her leg, though she ignored it. She had been thrown from her horse in the early throes of the fight but had pushed through the pain like any good soldier would. 

She glanced around, noting that the elven warriors were sticking close to each other, working together to down as many of the enemy as possible. Their arrival had the desired element of surprise, thanks to the Wild Men’s secret road, and they were quickly gaining on them, cutting off one course of retreat. 

Renewed vigor pulsed through her as she continued on, pushing her way forward towards the city walls. Though they were facing good odds at the moment, Elanor could not help but wish for Legolas and Aragorn to arrive. They would need them and the Army of the Dead if they were to have a decisive victory. 

And it certainly was of no help that the longer they were separated, the more she worried about his fate. He had promised he would be here, but there truly was no predicting just what they would face on the Road Under the Mountain.

But it would not do to dwell on such thoughts while Elanor needed to focus on the battle and keep her people safe. They had lost far too many at Helm’s Deep and she was unsure if she could bear losing anymore.

Without warning, the ground shook beneath her feet and an unworldly shriek pierced the air, striking fear into her heart. Elanor ducked under another sword, swiftly killed its owner and then looked to the sky, her blood starting to run cold.

“The Witch King of Angmar,” she heard Braen shout. She looked over at him, the both of them wearing equally concerned looks. This did not bode well for anyone. Elanor looked over, seeing the beast flying lower to the ground, as though it had selected its first victim. The desire to protect overwhelmed her, though she could not see who was being attacked.

“Come! They will need help!” she shouted, as she started to run across the field, praying the whole time that she would not be too late.

~~~

Elanor shouted when she felt the sting in her side. She did not need to look down to know that the man currently grinning wickedly at her had landed what could be a serious blow. Though what he did not know was that it would take far more than that to kill her.

With a cry, she charged towards him, quickly dispatching of him before turning to look for others. For a moment, the blood pounded through her head as she took in the state of the battle. Earlier she had been so sure. They were fighting the enemy back. But with the arrival of the Witch-King, everything had changed, though he now lay dead on the other side of the field, killed by a soldier that Elanor could not recognize as she stood too far off. They had been unable to reach where he had landed.

The sounds of battle faded as she watched soldiers of Rohan and Gondor fall. The only thing she could hear was her own haggard breathing as she desperately prayed for a miracle. She was not sure how long any of them would be able to continue like this. She was injured and in pain and others were far worse than she.

Elanor then shook her head, coming out of her trance and once again on the move. While they may be losing ground, this was not over yet, and she still had strength to fight. Lifting her sword, she charged back into the fray, killing another Haradrim soldier just before he could take out one of her soldiers. She pushed all thoughts of defeat and even victory aside as she settled into instinct. It was kill or be killed on the battlefield. Elanor was not yet ready to die.

“Elanor!”

She looked over at Braen, who raised his bow and shot three arrows in rapid fire as the ground shook beneath her. She turned and rolled out of the way just before a Mumakil stomped her flat. Just next to her, the dead body of a Haradrim hit the ground, obviously falling from the large creatures’ back thanks to Braen’s quick shooting. 

Braen helped her up and the two continued moving, killing as many as they could, though it felt as though where two fell, five more appeared. In the distance, Elanor could see Eomer shouting orders as he charged through on horseback, his men following. 

She could feel her energy starting to ebb, but pushed forward, maintaining her form and strength as she fought side by side with the other elves. 

“My lady! Look!”

Elanor paused a moment, looking towards the river, her eyes widening as her heart began sinking and nearly stopped. 

“The Corsairs of Umbar!”

“We are lost!” a Gondor soldier shouted. 

Elanor looked at him, disgust filling her face before turning back to the boats, determination blazing through her.

“We are not lost yet,” she spat. “Elves of Lothlorien! Follow me!”

The group moved quickly through the fight, making their way to the shore where she hoped they could at least slow the new arrivals down and give Eomer time to notice their arrival and redirect. 

She was about to charge when a figure jumped to the dock that had her freezing, her eyes wide. Hope began to fill her heart and course through her veins.

“Wait!” she shouted, putting her hand up.

“What is it, my lady?” 

A wild grin filled Elanor’s face as her eyes remained focused on the ships. Almost instantly, it was as though her pain and aches had faded away as new strength filled her.

“It is not the enemy,” she said. “It is our saving grace.”

The elves watched as more men leapt from the ships, beginning to engage with the enemy forces had been on the docks. She recognized the cloaks and some of the faces, wondering just how the Grey Company knew to come here. 

Suddenly, there was a rush of wind. With a quiet roar, hundreds and hundreds of ghostly apparitions poured forth from the ships, gliding over Elanor and her band of soldiers. They turned watching as they attacked the field, laying waste to Sauron’s forces in mere seconds. Elanor’s eyes widened in shock. She turned back to the boats, one last time, this time her eyes falling on a lithe figure with golden hair. 

Her feet started to pull her towards him.

“Lady Elanor?” 

Her head whipped over and up as she saw two identical grins aimed at her, the owners of such grins rushing towards her small company. 

“It is good to see you still here,” Elladan shouted as they neared, his brother Elrohir keeping stride. “And that we have not missed the fight.”

“Come, there is no time to waste,” she said, already turning and running towards the battle. 

“Yes, we are rather late,” Elladan shouted. 

“Thought it best to make a grand entrance,” Elrohir added, winking at her. Elanor rolled her eyes, but then grinned. 

Once again hope had returned to her heart. This was not yet over.

~~~

Legolas shouted out numbers as he fought his way across the battlefield, though he was not quite sure if Gimli was close enough to hear him. But still, it was the principle of it.

They had arrived just in the nick of time, it seemed. When they arrived at the docks, for a moment, Legolas’ heart sank, seeing the mess that Sauron’s troops were making of Gondor, Rohan and all those who fought with them. He worried for Elanor and her small company, knowing that they would throw themselves into the thickest of it if it meant saving others. 

But then he had seen a glimpse of her. Her blue eyes wide in awe and filling with renewed purpose. However, just as quickly as she had appeared, she then disappeared, bounding back towards the battle with Elladan and Elrohir at her side and the rest of her company following. 

He was determined to fight his way to her, but the field was large and the soldiers many. While no one looked like Elanor, twice now he had started towards a figure only to discover that it was not her. 

Frustration was beginning to build inside him, nearly distracting him. But as he ducked at the last minute to miss an arrow to the shoulder, he re-focused. He could not find Elanor if he was dead.

He heard shouts in Sindarin coming from the other side of a large mumakil and quickly dodged through its legs, careful to zig-zag so that its riders could not hit their mark with their arrows. Upon arriving on the other side, he found Elladan and Elrohir.

“Where is she!?” he shouted, as he engaged with an orc that had been attempting to sneak up on the two brothers. “Where is Elanor?!”

Elladan looked over at him a moment before blocking a blow and then taking the orc’s head off. 

“We lost track of her and her company some time ago,” he admitted. He glanced over at the mumakil. “I think that would be the best way to find her.”

Legolas looked over at the massive creature that towered far above the field, assessing the best way to get up on top. He then smiled gratefully at Elladan and took off at a sprint. Upon reaching the creature’s hide quarters, he leapt into the air, grabbing hold of a loose rope and then climbing up. He was lucky in that neither the driver nor the marksmen noticed him until it was too late. He silently took out the three closest to him on the back with his bow, then hopped onto the platform and quickly took out the rest. Running to the front to attempt and steer the animal, he frantically looked around, searching the field for her. 

Finally, his eyes caught sight of a golden braid. She stood tall, taking aim at another mumakil with the rest of her company. Her mouth opened and dozens of arrows flew through the air, landing either in the animal or in its passengers. They quickly fired again and again, until the animal collapsed. 

Legolas wanted nothing more than to get to her, so pulled out three arrows, firing them simultaneously into the mumakil’s head, then slid down its body as it collapsed. He landed on the ground and immediately looked in the direction he had last seen Elanor in.

“That only counts as one!” Gimli shouted. Legolas looked over, his eyebrows raised, wondering just where the dwarf had come from. He then smiled and nodded, before turning and sprinting away.

He needed to get to her. And quickly. 

~~~

Elanor breathed heavily, surprised that she was still able to stand as her eyes scanned the large battlefield around her. Bodies littered the ground, though there were pockets of green where the army of the dead chased down the last stragglers of Sauron’s army.

It was over.

It took far more strength than usual for her to lift her sword and slide it into her sheath, but a small buzz of energy sparked as her eyes then continued to scan the field, looking for Legolas. She couldn’t remember just where it was she had last seen him - it was only a glimpse as she attempted to take down a mumakil with the others - but started walking in that general direction, stumbling through the corpses and praying that he was not one of them.

“Elanor!” 

She stopped for a moment as Braen and several other Lothlorien elves made their way to her. They all looked around, their faces expressionless, but Elanor could see the pain in their eyes. Now that the battle had been won, it was time to take care of their injured and their dead. For a moment, Elanor did not wish to consider that any of theirs had died, but it was necessary.

“Our numbers?” she asked, still dragging ragged breaths into her lungs, forcing herself to focus on Braen though her eyes wished to roam the battlefield. She also ignored the sting of various cuts and the piercing pain in her side.

Where was Legolas?

“I am not yet sure,” Braen said. “It will take some time yet to find them all.” He looked around the bodies, a pained expression upon his face. “I do know that Ceris has fallen.” 

Elanor stepped towards him, placing her hand on his shoulder, knowing the two were as close as brothers. Braen looked up, meeting her eyes.

“He fought bravely and died honorably,” she said, squeezing his shoulder. He nodded towards her. She then looked at the others. “See to the wounded. We will attempt to locate our dead in due time.” 

She then turned away, her eyes scanning the landscape again as she took a deep breath, grimacing at the pain, though attempted to hide it from the others. 

“You are injured, Elanor. Allow me to help you to the House of Healing. Allain is already there,” Braen said. 

“I am fine,” she said, though she winced again as the sharp pain ran through her side. She pushed herself to start walking away.

“You are not.”

“I cannot go just yet,” she said firmly. 

“Elanor,” Braen said.

“I cannot rest until I’ve found him!” she shouted, whirling around to face him, her eyes alight with fire. “Once I have found him, then I will rest.” 

She then turned and strode away, her head looking from right to left, her eyes roaming over those still standing, not wanting to look to those on the ground to see if one was him. Legolas had to survive. There was no way he could have died in this. 

She continued to think the words over and over as she desperately made her way through the field, hearing shouts and wails of pain. The armies of Gondor and Rohan were quickly going through the field, locating those still alive and carting them off within the walls of the city.

Why could she not find him?

Desperation began to fill her as she stopped and pushed her hair from her face and a strangled sob broke forth from her lips. Hot tears stung her eyes, blurring her vision. 

“It cannot be,” she murmured over and over. She had not yet told him that she loved him. He could not be dead.

Then, in the chaos, there was a clear, familiar chuckle. Elanor’s eyes flew open as she whirled around, seeing Gimli standing not so far off with Lord Aragorn and the twins, with another’s back to her. Hope bloomed in her chest as her eyes fell on his form. Even after the chaos of battle, not a tress was out of place and his back was straight. Though covered in the dust and dirt of battle, he did not appear hurt or injured.

Elanor began stumbling in his direction, her heart pounding as she moved faster, her feet suddenly finding sure footing. 

He was alive. 

“Legolas!” 

He turned, his eyes lighting up as relief filled his face. In a moment, he too was in motion, leaping over dead bodies and running across the field until the two collided. His arms were strong as stone as they enclosed her, pulling her close to his body. Elanor could not help the tears now streaming down her face as she held onto him for dear life.

“I told you that I would meet you at Minas Tirith,” he whispered in her ear. “I have been searching for you since we arrived… Thank the Valar you are safe.” Elanor stepped back from him, though did not let go of him. 

For a moment she only stared at him, her mind far too addled with the onslaught of emotions coursing through her. He was alive. She was alive. The battle was over and they had won. She could not seem to form words. 

But then, she realized that she did not need them. 

Elanor’s hands went around the back of Legolas’ neck and she yanked him down to her, capturing his lips in a searing kiss. She could feel his surprise as he did nothing for half a moment, but then his grip on her waist tightened as his lips moved against hers and one hand came up to rest on her cheek. Though it should have hurt, Elanor found the pain was far from her mind.

Despite her fatigue and the pain, Elanor felt as though she was soaring and could go on kissing him for the rest of her days. But it was a sharp whistle from Gimli that brought her back down to Middle Earth as their lips parted, the both of them struggling to catch their breath. 

A wide grin had spread across Legolas’ face as he caressed her dirty cheek. Elanor was sure that she wore a smile just as delirious. 

“I love you. I’ve always loved you,” she said, the words now easily tumbling from her lips. “Since we were young, if I am being truly honest.”

“It has always been you for me,” Legolas whispered. “Never any other. I love you, too, Elanor.” 

Elanor leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes briefly as happy tears fell down her cheeks. But the joy and peace only lasted a moment before the pain was back in her side, reminding her that they had just been in battle. Her knees buckled, but Legolas’ strong arms held her up, pulling her closer to him.

“You are injured,” he said, his brow furrowed. He then lifted his hand up from her waist, finding it stained with her blood.

Without another word, Legolas lifted her up into his arms, turning towards the gates of the great city. 

“Allain is in… the city… with the others,” Elanor said, finding it difficult to breathe and keep her eyes open. All strength seemed to have left her body as her head fell against his chest and the pain increased.

She looked up, meeting Legolas’ eyes as he continued to run.

“Do not die on me, Ella,” he begged. She offered him a lopsided smile.

“Not today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter has a little bit of everything. Book references, movie references (you honestly didn’t think I wasn’t going to include the “kill the giant elephant” scene, did you??), a bit of suspense, and then FINALLY a confession of love. And a cliffhanger-ish…
> 
> Only a few more chapters to post! But feel free to pop over and check out “Bright Light in the Darkness – Original Version” if you want. Been posting a couple chapters a day or so.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following!


	23. Chapter 23

Elanor opened her eyes, seeing the sun was sinking below the horizon through the window in her room. She took a deep breath and slowly pushed herself up into a seated position, her entire body aching slightly, though not nearly as bd as it had been just after the battle. She looked down, seeing her torso was wrapped tightly in bandages, though she was in comfortable leggings. She then took the rest of her body into stock, noting she had been cleaned and her hair was down and clear of the grime of the battle.

She heard a noise and looked over, seeing Legolas blinking his eyes and stretching in a chair near her bed. Realizing that she was practically unclothed, she pulled the blankets up to her chest, sure that her cheeks were flaming.

"How long have you been here?" she asked softly as he met her eyes.

"I have not left since the healer finished," he replied just as softly.

Gracefully, he stood and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge next to her and taking her face gently in his hands, his eyes roaming over its planes. She had not looked in a mirror but was sure it was full of cuts and bruises just as the rest of her body. She still ached, but the gentle touch seemed to ease the pain slightly.

Joy flooded through her. He had said he loved her. That it had always been her. Elanor then frowned, thinking to all the years they wasted.

"What's this?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

"How long?" she asked. He needed no other hints to know what she was asking. Legolas looked away.

"Truthfully… I believe my affections began changing when we were around 500 years," he said, his hand falling to his sides. Elanor reached out and took his hand in hers, squeezing. He looked back at her. "I am so sorry, Elanor… I could have saved you so much grief if I had…"

"I am just to blame," Elanor replied. "I said nothing either…" They stared at each other before Elanor leaned forward and gently kissed him. "But I suppose it is good that we finally confessed…"

A soft smile filled his face as he nodded. Elanor then took in his state. Though he had changed and cleaned up, she could see the fatigue in his eyes.

"You should rest," Elanor said.

"I do not wish to leave you," he replied, instantly. Elanor smiled.

"I will be fine," she said. She then looked around the room, frowning slightly. "This does not look like the House of Healing."

"You are in the palace," Legolas said. "I thought you would prefer the quiet and solitude. Allain had finished with the others. I can send for him again." Elanor shook her head.

"I am sure he needs rest as well," she replied. "Do you know… how many?" Legolas frowned slightly and took a deep breath.

"From Lothlorien… 10 have fallen," he said. Elanor nodded, her face expressionless, though she blinked rapidly. Legolas reached out and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. "It is just me… allow your tears to fall…"

She took a deep shuddery breath, her eyes closing as the tears began. Legolas said nothing, just continued to hold her as she cried softly. While he knew she was a strong and capable leader, she took each loss hard. These were men who had vowed to fight for her and in return she had vowed to protect them. Even if there was nothing she could have done, she would take each loss personally.

Finally, Elanor pushed back from him, wiping her cheeks. She looked at him and smiled, grateful for his presence.

"Go, I shall be fine. I likely need the rest as well," she said. He nodded and leaned forward, kissing her softly again. Elanor could not help but think she would never tire of his kisses. And then prayed that she would have until the end of time to experience them. She tried not to think of what would come next.

He then stood and walked to the door, stopping for a moment to smile at her once more, then left.

Now, alone, Elanor looked around her room. Her eyes fell on a clean, long tunic and dressing gown laying on a chair. Tenderly getting out of the bed, she made her over and pulled it on, then the dressing gown. Holding her side, she stiffly made her way to a mirror, studying herself. Her pale skin was littered with cuts and bruises. She knew with Allain's healing arts, she would soon not feel so stiff, though it would take longer for all her wounds to heal. She looked down to her side, wishing she knew the extent of the injury. She did not know just how long they would have before the next battle and did not wish to ride out at anything less than full strength.

"My lady?"

Elanor turned, seeing the elf in question stepping into the room with Braen.

"You did not need to waste your energy on me," she said, smiling warmly. "I am fine."

"The Prince said that you had awakened, and I wished to check on your progress," he said, stepping over to her and helping her back to the bed. "You should be resting."

"I am fine," Elanor said, already feeling the pain begin to lessen.

"You lost a lot of blood," Allain said, his expression concerned. Braen hovered just behind him as he began to check her over.

When it came time to check her side, Braen turned his back as Elanor lifted the tunic and Allain quickly undid the wrappings. Elanor wince slightly as Allain looked it over and then applied a salve. She glanced a look at the long, savage cut that ran down her side, noting it did not look as bad as she had been expecting. But it certainly would leave a scar.

Once finished, Allain helped her back into bed and Braen turned to her, his face full of concern.

"I am fine," Elanor said, assuredly. She glanced at Allain. "Or at least I will be?"

"You are healing rather well, all things considering," he said. "You should be in fighting form soon enough." Elanor nodded and looked to Braen. The healer then gathered up his supplies and made a quick exit as her second-in-command sat in the chair previously occupied by Legolas.

"Legolas informed me… we lost 10," she said, turning serious. He nodded.

"Ceris, Agis, Belanor, Darfin, Ehlark, Glarald, Filarion, Horith, Itham, and Jonas," he recited. Elanor looked at her lap, barely keeping her emotions in check.

"They fought well. Bravely," she murmured. She then looked to Braen. "What of the others?"

"The Grey Company sustained some losses, but not many. The Gondorians have had the most losses as well as the Rohirrim," he paused, looking down a moment before meeting her eyes. "King Theoden has fallen. Killed at the hands of the Witch King. Eomer now leads in his stead, though it was Eowyn who killed the Witch King."

Elanor frowned, her heart going out to Eomer and Eowyn. She knew they were both close to their uncle. Theoden had been a strong leader. Though just as quickly, pride soared through her at Eowyn's feat. She knew the woman had a warrior's heart.

"I should speak to them. Offer my condolences," she said.

"You should rest. We will speak tomorrow. Decide on the next course of action," he said, standing. "I have taken care of everyone. There is nothing for you to worry about other than healing." Elanor smiled at him.

"Thank you, Braen," she said. He offered her a small smile and started to leave but stopped. He then turned back to her.

"Haldir was right in choosing you," he said solemnly. He then bowed and left the room.

Elanor leaned back against the pillows, now suddenly alone. While she knew she should rest, she could find none. Sighing, she looked up at the ceiling and waited for sleep to finally claim her.

* * *

Elanor was settled at the table the next morning, feeling much more rested and full of energy. A servant had just put out food before her when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" she called out and watched as the door opened and a hesitant Pippin walked in. A smile broke out across her face as he walked towards her.

"It is good to see you up and about, my lady," he said.

"Please, join me," she said, motioning to the other chair.

Pippin quickly sat in the chair. He started filling his plate then stopped, looking up at her with worry.

"I feared for you. When I saw Legolas carry you in," he said. "You were so pale and covered in blood. I didn't know if it was yours or others." Elanor smiled softly.

"As you can see, I am well," she said, motioning for him to continue eating as she reached for her goblet. "It will take a lot more than a Southron blade to take me down."

"I am grateful for it," he said, smiling slightly before he frowned again.

"What is it, Pippin?" she asked. She then looked around, finally realizing he was alone. She had figured the others would come from camp once the battle had been won.

"It's Merry," he said, a woebegone look on his face. "He secretly rode in with the army of Rohan. He and Lady Eowyn. They fought as well." Elanor felt her heart clench in worry. "It was Lady Eowyn who felled the Witch King. They are in the House of Healing now, but they haven't woken yet."

Elanor reached over and took his hand in hers, squeezing.

"They are strong. They will survive," she said. Pippin mustered a smile.

"They will," he said, though the worry would not leave his eyes.

"Now, no more talk of sad things. Let us eat and then perhaps we can visit them," Elanor said. Pippin's eyes widened.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "You should be resting."

"I am well enough to enjoy a short walk," Elanor replied. "Rather, I welcome it. I am not one to enjoy being cooped up all the day." Pippin nodded and now grinned at her.

"Very well, let us do that, then."

* * *

Elanor frowned slightly as she took in the many bodies in the House of Healing. So many hurt and in pain. But she quickly followed Pippin through the beds, making their way to a small form lying in a bed about halfway down the room.

Elanor felt her heart go out to Merry and Pippin as the small creature plopped down on a stool at his side. The form on the bed stirred and then blinked his eyes open. Relief rushed through Elanor as she stepped closer.

"Pip? Lady Elanor?" he asked, his voice raspy.

"We're here, Merry," Pippin said, obviously relieved that his friend was now awake. The hobbit smiled and sat up, grimacing slightly. "Just what were you thinking? Going to war?"

"Everyone else was going. Why not I?" Merry asked, frowning slightly. "Even you, Pip." Pippin looked down as Elanor stepped up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Just how did you manage to ride out with no one noticing?" she asked. Merry turned his to her, his eyes widening slightly. He then smiled sheepishly.

"Lady Eowyn hid herself as a soldier. Picked me up on the way out," he said. He then looked over to the figure in the next bed, Elanor following him. Eowyn was laid out, beautiful even in slumber. "She has not woken yet."

"But she will," Elanor said, her voice strong. The two hobbits looked over at her as she stepped over to Eowyn and dropped to the stool next to her. Humming softly, she closed her eyes, placing her hands over her. She then began to softly murmur a few words. It was not much and would work better if she had a mixture of herbs that Elanor doubted the mortal healers would have. But it would be enough for now.

When she finished, she opened her eyes and looked down. Eowyn's eyes began to flutter before opening and meeting those of Elanor.

"It is good to see you awake, Eowyn," she said softly. The woman smiled up at her.

"Thank you," she said. Elanor took her hand, grasping it tightly.

"I heard of your great deeds," Elanor said. "Such bravery, Eowyn." The human woman looked down at her lap, her pale cheeks flushed.

"It is what anyone would have done," she replied.

"You are awake."

Both women looked up, seeing a man standing there, awe on his face. He then looked to Elanor and bowed slightly.

"Forgive me, I am Faramir, son of the steward of Gondor," he said.

"Elanor, captain of the elves from Lothlorien," she said. She glanced down at Eowyn, smiling slightly. "And this is Eowyn, niece of King Theoden, may he rest in peace."

"I have been told," he murmured, his eyes back on Eowyn. Elanor glanced down at her, noting the flush seemed to deepen. Smiling to herself, she stood and then stepped away from the bed.

"I should be off," she said, though she stopped when she saw Legolas moving through the room towards her.

A sudden rush of affection ran through her and she could not help but smile. Just being in his presence now held far more healing than anything Allain could do. He reached her side, taking both her hands in his and leaving a chaste kiss on her cheek. She noted the looks of happy surprise on both Pippin and Merry's faces out of the corner of her eye.

"They said that you would be here," he replied. "Come, we have been summoned."

"So soon in the day," Elanor said, frowning slightly.

"It would seem that Aragorn is eager to start planning," he said softly. Elanor nodded.

"Then we should go now," she said. She turned to the others. "I will come visit again."

The hobbits nodded eagerly, as did Eowyn. She then turned, walking out with Legolas.

* * *

Elanor stood in between Braen and Legolas, the latter holding her hand, as Eomer spoke, informing them of the state of their armies. While there were more than enough soldiers to protect Gondor and she still worried how they were to continue fighting against Sauron in this state. Or just how they were to do so.

Elladan and Elrohir stood on the other side of Braen, the two of them silent as they watched Aragorn, though they glanced towards Elanor.

"What do you think?" she heard Elrohir whisper to his brother.

"I am not sure," Elladan admitted.

Everyone looked to Aragorn, silently deferring to him as the next king of Gondor. He remained silent a few moments, looking to the ground, before he finally met Mithrandir's eyes.

"Our hope lies in the hobbits," Mithrandir said. "That they will reach Mt. Doom and destroy the ring."

"But how are we to know their progress? And we cannot go into Mordor to aid them," Eomer said. Aragorn's eyes flicked over to the Lord of the Mark, now King of Rohan. "We will never make it past the Black Gate."

"Perhaps we do not need to go past it," Aragorn replied softly.

The room was silent, taking in his words. Elanor gripped Legolas' hand tighter, understanding just what he was saying. Her heart plummeted, for she knew it would be a most impossible battle. But they had stood at his side thus far and she knew there was no turning back.

Though she knew that they could turn away. Ride for Lothlorien. Be safe. Make for the Grey Havens. But that was not an option. She looked to Legolas, meeting his eyes. She saw the same resolutions in his.

"We make for the Black Gate and turn Sauron's eyes from Frodo and Sam. Give them a chance to complete their task," Aragorn said finally. "Draw out their forces and clear the way."

"You must be mad," Eomer said softly.

"Lord Aragorn is right. There is no other way," Elladan said, coming to the future king's aid.

"But there is no way that we can win this battle," Eomer's captain said from his side, his brow furrowed. "Not with the losses we've sustained. Not to mention, there is no way to know just how large a force Sauron commands within Mordor."

Elanor glanced at Legolas, seeing his brow furrowed before she glanced over at Gimli, wishing she was as relaxed as the dwarf down appeared, puffing on his pipe.

"Certainty of death. Small chance of success," Gimli said. "What are we waiting for?" Elanor looked to Aragorn, seeing the relief on his face to have more support for his campaign. She knew that she did not need to speak with Braen. They had spoken enough that she knew he would follow her lead.

"We will ride with you," she said, her voice clear and strong. Aragorn inclined his head towards her. Just after she spoke, the rest did as well, and they began planning. They would not leave for a few days more, allowing their fighters a chance to rest and recover, but they would need to move soon as it would take a week to reach the Black Gate.

As soon as they finished, Legolas turned to Elanor, his face full of worry.

"You are not yet healed," he said.

"But I will be by the time we leave," she said in reply. "It is the right path to take. You know this." He nodded but squeezed her hands.

"I worry that I will lose you just as I have found you," he murmured. Elanor smiled softly.

"Do not think of that," she said. "We must focus on doing our part." He nodded.

"Lady Elanor."

The two turned, watching as Allain walked up to them, a letter in his hand.

"This just arrived for you," he said, holding it out. She took it and looked down, recognizing Haldir's writing. Her breath caught in her throat a moment as she looked over at Legolas.

"Come, I will escort you back to your room," he said softly, pulling her with him. She was yet again grateful that he knew her so well.

As soon as they arrived, she ripped it open, her eyes devouring his words as relief filled her.

"He is well," she said, her eyes still on the letter. "Sauron's forces have attacked Lothlorien, but they fought them off…" A frown appeared as she continued reading, though it softened as she chuckled. "He, once again, reminds me of my promise." She looked up at Legolas. He quirked an eyebrow at her. "That I would tell you of my affections."

"He knew?" Legolas asked. She nodded as she looked back down at the letter and set it on the table.

"Ever since I discovered I was in love with you. Constantly pushing me to tell you," she said.

"I thought that… that day just before we left Lothlorien… I had seen you together and I thought perhaps you had promised yourself to him. That he was the one who held your heart," he said softly. Elanor looked over at him in confusion, but then, realization flooded through her as she remembered his words that day she had first attempted to tell him.

"You thought that I was to tell you that I was in love with Haldir," she said softly. He looked away from her, embarrassment filling his features as he nodded.

"It was only after he was injured… when you spoke of him as a brother… that I realized how wrong I was," he said.

Elanor walked over to him, taking his face in her hands and guiding him to look at her.

"I thought you were in love with Tauriel," she said. "That _that_ was the reason you pulled away from me." He frowned in confusion.

"I was only asking for her aid in telling you the truth… at that time I thought perhaps you and Fenris…" he looked away again.

Elanor stared at him in shock a few moments before she began laughing softly. Legolas looked at her in confusion.

"We were both wrong," she said. "Though now I understand just how it was we got in each other's way." She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

All those years wasted by assumptions. Assumptions they could have easily explained away if they had just spoken to each other. How foolish they had both been.

"I love you," Legolas said, the emotion pouring through his eyes. "I know not how much time we have left, but I will spend every last moment assuring you of the depth of my affections."

She smiled softly, stepping towards him as she gently pressed her lips against his. She then rested her forehead against his as his arms came around her waist, pulling her closer.

"We must not think of that," she said. "But be grateful for this time. For now."

Legolas stared at her a few moments before a smile came across his face.

"When this is over… Gimli wishes to travel the land, as do I. Perhaps you can join us," he said softly.

"I should like that," she replied. "Though… I feel it has been far too long since I have been home."

Legolas' smile broadened at hearing her call Mirkwood home. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I am sure that your father would be happy to see you. As would my own," he said. "We will go to Mirkwood and then travel. Though… " He lifted an eyebrow to her. "You know that our fathers will expect something more."

Elanor's eyes widened as her breath caught again, heating coursing through her. She then grinned.

"Legolas… are you…"

He nodded, then went down on one knee, holding her hands.

"Will you be my wife, Elanor?" he asked softly. She did not reply at first, her words caught on her tongue.

It was something she had dreamed about many times over the centuries. That someday he would confess his love to her. Ask her to be his wife. Spend the rest of their long eternities at each other's side. But even with the happiness of the moment, it was bittersweet. They were once again coming up to the eve of battle with no guarantee that either of them would survive. She gulped, the tears forming in her eyes as she tried to blink them back.

"Speak, Elanor. What is on your mind?" Legolas said, rising to his feet as he drew her close. "Do you not wish to wed me?"

"It is not that," she said softly, holding onto him as though he might fly away if she let go. "It is just… it is hard to take happiness in this moment when we do not know how much longer we have." Legolas sighed, but did not speak as he held her tightly.

"It is true. We may die in a few days' time at the Black Gate, but we will die at each other's sides. And I will take whatever time it is we have left," he said. He stepped back from her, looking deep into her eyes. "Again, I am forever sorry for all those wasted years, but I will do whatever I can to make up for it."

Elanor stared into his eyes, seeing all his love and devotion for her in their blue depths. It gave her strength. She pressed her lips against his, though this kiss was hungrier, more desperate than before. She poured all her love into it.

"Yes… I will marry you," she said, the two of them gasping for air. He smiled broadly and kissed her again. Elanor felt her body come alive at his touch.

Finally, he stopped, pulling away from her though everything in Elanor begged him to stay. To press his lips to hers again. To continue until they had both given in to the heat of their passion for each other. They were to be wed after all, surely others could not fault them for this one slight.

They did not have long.

But instead, he pressed one last, chaste kiss upon her lips.

"We must focus on the battle. On surviving. And then we can be together… forever," he said softly. Elanor nodded, looking away from him as she wished that he would put his princely chivalry aside.

It was as though a storm was bursting inside her and only he could calm it.

"Look at me," he ordered. Elanor looked back, meeting his eyes. She gasped as she saw the same passion, the same storm, coursing through his expression. "I wish more than anything to stay, but… you need your rest. To heal so that you are full strength when we meet the enemy." Elanor nodded. He then smiled. "Soon, my dear Elanor."

He then lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to it before turning and leaving. As soon as the door closed, Elanor let out the breath she had been holding, bringing her hand to her head, feeling slightly lightheaded.

She then looked over to the letter and walked over, picking it up. She should write back to Haldir. She gathered paper and a quill and set about to informing him of all that had passed. Once she finished, she stared at it a moment, frowning. Looking towards the window, she sighed.

They did not know what would happen. If they would win or fail. She then looked at the other parchments there. With shaking hands, she reached out for another and began to write. Once she had finished, she called for a servant, handing over three letters.

"This, please give to the elf that arrived today from Lothlorien to take back," she explained. "These two… if I do not return, make sure that they are sent to Mirkwood and Lothlorien."

"Yes, my lady," the servant said, ducking into a quick curtsey before leaving.

Elanor walked over to the window, her eyes settling on Mt. Doom in the far distance. She did not know what would come, but she was going to fight for her future. A future that she longed to have with Legolas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies! I meant to post this yesterday, but work was crazy so when I got home, I basically ate and then passed out. But we're about two chapters away from the end! I hope that you've enjoyed this – and the original version, which is now posted in full. At least, everything that I had written on it.
> 
> But yea, I definitely think that I'm going to take a break from fanfiction after this story. I have several others in the pipeline, but I'm not really drawn to writing on any of them at the moment. Not to mention, my original fiction has been sorely neglected and if I want to self-publish another book by the end of this year, I need to get to work.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and following!


	24. Chapter 24

Elanor stood in her tent, going over the plans in her mind. Braen had just left and she knew that she should sleep as they had been riding for so long to get there, but sleep would not find her. So instead she paced around, wringing her hands together.

Tomorrow they would be at the Black Gate. They would draw out Sauron's army in the hopes they could give Frodo and Sam the fighting chance that they needed. But there was no way to know if it would work. It was a fool's hope, she knew this. But it was the path they must take.

It was their last hope if they wanted to win this war and save Middle Earth.

"Elanor."

She stopped and turned, seeing Legolas stepping in through the front flap of the tent. He wore his weapons - they all did when out on the chance they might be attacked being so close to Mordor. But as he walked in, he took them off, leaving them on a table. They regarded each other a few moments before Elanor strode to him, wrapping her arms around him.

She cared not that she was dressed in only breeches and a loose tunic. All she wanted was to feel his arms around her.

She did not wish to think that this could be her last time in his embrace. Their last chance to be alone. That after tomorrow, one or both of them would be gone.

Legolas guided her to look up at him, gently caressing her cheek.

"No tears, Elanor," he whispered. "Not this night."

"But tomorrow-"

"We will face whatever awaits together," he said softly. He then lowered his lips to hers, stealing her breath away with that one kiss. She gripped the front of his tunic, feeling as though she would fall apart if she let go of him. If he let go of her.

When he stepped back, staring deep into her eyes, Elanor saw a fire burning in their depths. A fire that matched her own.

"Stay," she whispered. "Stay with me tonight." He looked away and she could see the fight in his eyes. He wanted to, though wished to follow the traditions of their kind. There was a time when Elanor herself would find the suggestion unseemly, but these were not normal times.

She cared not what they did, only that she could at least go into battle having fallen asleep in his arms at least once. Perhaps they would win and they could spend the rest of their years discovering each other on a completely new plane. Or perhaps they would die and all they would have was this one night.

She could see in his eyes that he felt the same, though he would fight it.

"Elanor," he said, the strain clear in his voice, still not looking at her. She guided him to look at her.

"We do not know if we have more than this night… stay," she asked, her eyes urging him to do her bidding. He sighed and bent down to her, pressing a heated kiss upon her lips.

"I will stay," he murmured. A smile broke across her face as she walked backwards, leading him to her cot.

"For if I do not live through tomorrow, at least I die knowing that I stayed with you this once…"

* * *

Legolas knew not the time, but could tell that the camp around them had long grown quiet. If Gimli had wondered why he was not back to the tent they had been sharing all week, he certainly did not come searching for him. Though knowing the dwarf, he had likely guessed his whereabouts and did not come looking for that very reason.

He stared down at Elanor, now slumbering deeply at his side, her head resting on his shoulder with her long, golden curls splayed out behind her. He knew that it was improper. Coming to her in the night. And that he would not be able to say no if she asked him to stay, which he knew that she would.

But at the same time, he could not help but think that this was right. That he was where he needed to be. And part of him still could not believe that she was currently lying here in his arms.

Sure his father would be put out, but Thranduil had long made it known that he wished for the two to unite their two families in marriage. And the king could deny Elanor, nor her mother Fraeya before her, nothing, so his anger would be tempered that they had not followed tradition.

Reaching out, Legolas tenderly brushed a loose curl out of her face, a content sigh leaving her lips as she snuggled closer. A smile came across his face as he watched her sleep.

_She was finally his._

After years of pining from afar. Of misreading every situation. Of carrying the guilt over the words he had said to her that day, pushing her away from him. Thinking he had lost her forever. She was now here in his arms.

For the moment, he forgot about tomorrow and the battle they faced. He forgot about everything but the elleth in his arms, her body molded to his as though they were created solely for the other.

"You are staring at me," she said sleepily, her eyes still closed.

"You are so beautiful, I cannot look away," he said, leaving a soft kiss on her nose.

She opened her eyes, looking up at him, a small smile on her face.

"You should sleep," she said.

"I will. But for now I am enjoying watching you," he replied.

"And now you have awakened me," she said, shifting slightly.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to," he said softly. Elanor reached up, her thumb gently caressing his cheek.

"Promise me," she said. "That we will survive tomorrow." He frowned slightly, knowing this was not a promise he could make. For he was unsure if he could keep it. But he wanted to give her everything. The stars and sun and moon. Anything to see her happy and smiling.

"I will do my best," he vowed. She smiled sadly, knowing it was the best he could give.

"Then at least promise me that you will sleep," she said. He bent down, his lips brushing against hers.

"I will do my best…"

* * *

Elanor watched stoically as Aragorn spoke with the Mouth of Sauron. Though they were a distance away, she could clearly hear every word. She did not look around, wanting to appear at her strongest before her company.

She had given them a choice. They could ride for Lothlorien and aid in guarding the borders, stay in Minas Tirith, or follow her into battle. They had all - not to her surprise - ridden out with her, determined to fight and potentially die at her side.

So there they stood at the front next to Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf and Aragorn before he rode forward. Merry and Pippin were there as well, though Elanor worried about them. But the two hobbits had insisted they come as well. She had given some of her soldiers orders to watch over them and she would do her best to do so as well.

So there they all stood, waiting to see what would happen. There was no doubt in Elanor's mind that Sauron would not back down or surrender. They would fight this day.

Aragorn then rode back to their army - only 6,000 against who knew how many inside. As soon as he neared them, he launched into a rousing speech that had even Elanor filled with determination.

She looked over at Legolas, meeting his eyes as he reached down for her hand, leading it up to his lips. While normally her cheeks might flush, thinking back to last night. But instead, she felt a fierce determination to win and survive. To get through this battle with her love at her side.

Whatever consequences that might come, they could face later.

She turned back to face Aragorn. Just behind him the large, black gates were slowly swinging open, revealing the terror that lay just behind them. Elanor straightened her back.

"This day we fight! By all you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!" Aragorn shouted.

A roar went up throughout the army as they lifted their weapons. Elanor found herself doing the same. She swallowed her fear and worry, focusing on the fight ahead of her. She did not know what outcome they would face, but she would not go down so easily.

Legolas let loose two arrows, felling an orc that was farther away just before it got close to Gimli.

"Ye blasted elf! I had that!" the dwarf shouted. Legolas smirked, then quickly slung his bow on his back, pulling his swords out just in time to kill another as it neared where he was fighting with Elanor. For a moment, he could not help but watch as she spun and twirled, moving at a rapid pace, a bright presence among the darkness of the orcs. A determined glint was in her eye as she quickly felled two, but did not see the third coming up just behind her.

"Elanor!" he shouted.

Without looking, she ducked, allowing him a clear shot. He sank an arrow in its head, watching as the foul creature fell to the ground. Elanor glanced at him, a smirk on her face, as she quickly moved on, her sights set on the next foe. He moved quickly to follow her.

It was like old times almost. The way they instinctively moved together. Fought together. Words were not needed as she watched his back and he hers. Though a century had passed since the last time they fought together, it felt as though it were just yesterday.

* * *

_Legolas skid to a halt as the spider in front of him squealed and reared up before collapsing on its side. He turned to look behind him, finding Elanor already dashing towards him, her bow still in hand._

" _Your shot has gotten better!" he called to her. She managed a smirk before stopping and loading her bow again. Just as he looked ahead, more spiders poured into the clearing, though the first squealed and fell back, arrows lodged into its head._

_He ran forward, Elanor at his side, now pulling her sword out. Without a word, he slid to a stop just in front of her, putting out his hands. She deftly used them as leverage, launching herself into the air and bringing her sword up and then plunging it into the midsection of the spider as she landed, the creature attempting to buck her off, though she held on tightly for dear life._

_Legolas slid underneath it, plunging his sword up, the two of them felling it together. He jumped out of the way before it collapsed on top of him. Elanor leapt off, landing lightly at his side. Together they moved forward, taking down spider after spider. Together._

_When it was all said and done, Legolas took stock. None of theirs were injured, but they had cleared out another nest. He looked over at Elanor, who was cleaning her sword. She the looked up at him, flashing a smile._

" _Job well done, I should think," she said, sheathing her weapon. Legolas could not speak at first, only watch her. She had stolen his words and his breath momentarily. She then turned her bright blue eyes to him and he had to look away a moment to gather his thoughts._

" _Yes. Father will be pleased," he managed to get out. Elanor laughed, drawing him to look at her._

" _Aren't you pleased with yourself?" she asked lightly._

" _I could not have done it without you," he said, his voice faltering slightly. Elanor only smiled in return, reaching out to grasp his forearm._

" _I will always be at your side. Watching your flank," she vowed. "For you did teach me everything I know." He nodded, a warmth flooding through him._

" _Legolas!"_

_The two turned as Tauriel bounded up to them, the spell broken as the smile faded from Elanor's face at the appearance of the captain of the guard._

" _The nest is empty, but I worry there are more nearby," she said, a pinched look on her face as she surveyed their work._

" _I as well," Legolas replied._

" _Then we should keep going," Elanor interrupted, looking deep into the forest._

" _We must make camp. Rest," Legolas said calmly. Elanor looked at him, a fire flashing in her eyes._

" _We should move now why we have the advantage," she said. She then looked to Tauriel, Legolas following suit. The captain looked uncomfortable, coming between the two friends._

" _We do not know where they are. If we continue now, we may be too tired to fight if we come upon them," she said rationally._

" _Then we make camp," Legolas said. He looked to Elanor, who huffed in impatience._

" _Fine," she said, already walking away. Legolas frowned as he followed her progress, watching as she walked over to Fenris._

" _Will you just tell her?" Tauriel said, her voice strained. Legolas looked at her, slightly angered. "It wears thin on all of us." Legolas returned to watching Elanor, who was now laughing at something Fenris said._

" _I will… not now, of course. But I will," he said. Tauriel sighed and began walking away._

" _Sooner rather than later, please," she muttered. Legolas frowned as he looked to her._

" _I will…"_

* * *

Elanor pulled her sword out of another orc and looked to her side, expecting Legolas to be there. Her heart clenched in fear when she did not see him. She looked around frantically, searching for him.

He had been there only moments ago. Just how had they gotten separated?

"Legolas!" she shouted.

Her heart began pounding in her ears as she turned in circles, trying to find him in the chaos to no avail. She breathed heavily. An orc roared, advancing on her. She made quick work of it before returning to her search.

"LEGOLAS!"

She then found him, through the thick of battle, not far off. For a moment, she was relieved. But then she saw him battling three orcs, with another closing in from behind that he did not see.

Elanor found her limbs frozen as her eyes widened. The blood rushed through her head as she willed herself to move. But she would not. All sound faded away.

_ELANOR!_

_FENRIS!_

Her sight faded in and out. She saw Fenris lying on the forest floor. Then Haldir - the light leaving his eyes.

But just as suddenly, the visions stopped as she forced her left foot forward, then her right.

She was no longer the scared, weak elleth that she was. She was a warrior. And she was not about to watch the love of her life die at the hands of orcs. They killed her mother. They killed Fenris. They nearly killed Haldir.

No more would anyone she loved die at their hands.

A mighty roar left her mouth as she bounded forward. No one stood in her way as she felled one after another and then launched over an orc, her sword up. Legolas stopped for a moment, surprised by her sudden entrance to his fight, but he quickly moved out of the way as she landed on the orc that he did not see coming, her sword sinking deep into his flesh.

She quickly pulled it out and set upon another nearby, Legolas quickly joining her. It was as though something had possessed her as she fought, killing orc after orc, her pale skin and armour now painted in their blood. There was no mercy in her eyes as she continued.

Onward they fought, side by side, never stopping. Never tiring. The only thought going through Elanor's mind was that she needed to protect Legolas. Keep the enemy distracted. Help Frodo and Sam. But part of her couldn't help that with every orc she killed, she felt as though she was finally killing her own demons.

This was for all that she had lost and all that she had nearly lost.

"Elanor!"

She looked over to Legolas as the ground shook beneath their feet. She reached out to him, unsure of what this meant. What new, evil magic Sauron was to unleash upon them. They clung to each other as the fighting began to stop and the enemy started its retreat.

"What is this?" Elanor shouted.

The ground continued to shake around them as the ground started to give way. Elanor stumbled, her eyes wide as she looked around, watching as caverns opened in the ground, swallowing all of the enemy that remained. With a loud roar, they both turned to watch as Barad-dur crumbled and collapsed. Overhead, she could hear the cries of the eagles, who had flown to their aid.

"They did it," Legolas breathed. Elanor turned to him, her eyes wide with unshed tears. She struggled to breathe as shouts of triumph went up. All she could do was lean against him, her head resting against his cheek.

It was over.

Part of her could not imagine that it was over. While she had not been in this since the beginning, it felt as though years had passed since the Fellowship first arrived in Lothlorien, shaking her from the empty shell that she had surrounded herself with. But she knew deep down that she was not the same elleth that she had been. She was not even the same elleth that she had been before everything.

She felt Legolas' hand on her cheek and she looked up at him, smiling. An immense joy filled her.

They had survived.

But just as he was bending down to kiss her, there was another roar and the ground shook yet again. They both turned, seeing Mt. Doom explode, hot ash and lava pouring out. Elanor's heart seized in terror, for she knew that Sam and Frodo were there.

She gripped Legolas tightly, her mouth falling open.

"No," she whispered. "No… no."

She turned, burying her face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Sobs broke forth from her lips. He said nothing, just held her.

"Elanor…" he said gently. She shook her head, burying her face deeper. "Elanor… look."

She finally looked up into his eyes and then her eyes drifted over, looking up to the sky. The pierce of eagle cry flew through the air. Elanor's eyes widened as she saw the large birds quickly making their way to the mountain.

"Have faith, Elanor," he whispered in her ear. "Have faith…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that it took me a bit longer than expected to post this chapter (and the next – last – chapter). Had a busy weekend and honestly, I just couldn't muster up the motivation or inspiration to write or edit. I haven't actually written anything in a week, which is super strange for me. But I'm on vacation this week and finally getting my mojo back. Hoping to make some headway on my original fiction (which I'm now posting on Wattpad – message me if you're interested and I can send you my username) which I have been sorely neglecting lately. Side note – I'm also FINALLY fixing up my home office so I'll have a clean, organized space to write, sew and do other crafty things. I'm so proud of myself for this project…
> 
> Also, I wanted to rework this chapter a bit (and the last chapter a lot). I made it a bit more overt what happened the night before the battle (it wasn't R-rated or anything, just… a bit more obvious but still within the realm of PG) but then I thought about it and didn't really think that was something that would happen – or maybe it could? Eh… I wasn't comfortable making it overt, so I decided to make it more subtle and you guys can decide what happened.
> 
> Thanks for reading and following! One more chapter left!


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Legolas walked through the corridors of the palace at Minas Tirith, nodding here and there to people as he passed, though keeping his pace quick. He knew that this afternoon was likely to be a flurry of activity and wanted a few moments with Elanor before the both of them were caught up in it all. Not to mention he had not had the chance this morning, spending most of it with Aragorn, Gimli and the others going over plans for the coronation.

He knocked at the door and heard her clear, "Come in," though nearly didn't wait before pushing the door open. He stopped for a moment in the doorway, catching sight of her. She saw in front of a vanity, the sun shining in through a window causing her hair to shine like pure gold. She was dressed in a simple blue dress as she brushed her long locks, though to him, she looked as though she were a queen.

She very well could be some day, he could not help but think.

Since they returned victorious from the Black Gate, he had longed to spend every night with her, wrapped in her arms, but had refrained. They both decided it would do neither any good to draw ire from their fathers - as happy as they might ultimately be to discover the two intended to be together.

Though it had not stopped the troublesome Gimli from making comments that drew Legolas' ire. It was good-natured ribbing, to be sure, but the dwarf was still a rather large gossip. Legolas only hoped that he would hold his tongue in front of his father once he arrived.

But for this moment, he just watched her, hearing her hum softly to herself. The bruises from the battle had faded, giving way to her clear complexion and the weeks of rest had boded well for her. He nearly could not believe that they were now bound together.

He was in awe by her regardless.

"Do you intend to stand there all day?" she asked playfully, glancing at him through the mirror's reflection. He could not help but chuckle, amazed at how much she had changed since the moment he saw her in Lothlorien. Her playful side had emerged yet again.

But even though he felt as though he had his old companion back, she was so much more.

"I do not," he replied, walking into the room and shutting the door behind him She watched him with a small smile as he stepped up behind her, leaning down to leave a kiss on her cheek before meeting her gaze in the mirror. "Do you intend to fuss with your hair all day?"

Elanor pushed him away, putting her brush down. She then stood and turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I do not. There is far too much to do this day. I only wished to look presentable. Do you or do you not remember that our fathers are to arrive with the contingency from Mirkwood?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I was hoping not to be reminded," he said with a heavy sigh. Despite everything, the thought of speaking to his father still managed to put a bit of a damper on things. They were cordial to each other, of course, but Legolas could never seem to shake the feeling that the king still found him lacking in some way or another. Elanor chuckled and pressed a chaste kiss against his lips.

"Do not be so worried, Legolas. They will be happy to hear the news," she said.

"You know how my father is," he replied, frowning slightly.

"Yes, but still. We both know he will be pleased," she said, her smile fading slightly as worry crept into her eyes a moment. He did not wish to upset her, but it was difficult to put aside his concerns of his father, no matter how much he favored Elanor.

"And he will insist on a full, betrothal and ceremony fitting of a prince. Forgive me, but I do not wish to wait an entire year before you are my wife before the eyes of Mirkwood and we can begin our lives together," he said. "Not to mention how he will react when he hears of our intentions to travel with Gimli. You know my father's thoughts on dwarves."

Elanor chuckled as she stepped out of his arms, turning to the mirror again as she fussed with her dress. He could tell that she was not completely comfortable in it, but it would have to do until her father arrived with some things from Mirkwood.

"I am sure that I could convince them to hasten things a bit," she said, smirking at him in the mirror. "And help him to accept Gimli."

"And then cause them to wonder just why we wish to be wed so quickly?" he asked, unable to help his pessimistic streak. Elanor rolled her eyes, turning to face him again.

"Since when has your desire for appearances overshadowed your love for me?" she quipped. She then stepped over and kissed him again. "Do not worry, Legolas. All shall be well. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am late for my luncheon with Lady Eowyn."

She started to walk away when he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her back against him.

"And just what shall I do in the meantime?" he asked, his breath warm on her neck.

"I am sure that you will think of something," Elanor quipped. "Perhaps pass the time with Gimli?" She then untangled herself from him and walked to the door, winking at him before she stepped out. Legolas sighed happily, a bright smile on his face.

What had he done to earn such a blessing?

* * *

Elanor paused in the doorway to Eowyn's room, her eyebrows raising as she saw that they were not to be dining alone. The four hobbits were already seated around a table, chatting happily as Eowyn smiled at them. The woman then looked up, rising from her chair.

"Elanor," she said brightly, earning silence and rapt attention from the hobbits.

"Lady Elanor!" Merry called out cheerfully. "Come! Eat!"

She chuckled softly as she made their way to them, sitting in the open chair. She looked around the group, happy to see that everyone was healing well. Her eyes then settled on Frodo and Sam, her concern evident. Though they were mostly healed from their excursion into Mordor, she could not help as Frodo seemed a bit despondent and still looked frail from the journey.

She worried he had not been sleeping well and her healing instincts were to immediately check him over to see if there was anything she could do to ease his discomfort. Even though she had given Allain instructions to look out for him and the elf had informed her that he had done all that he could, and the hobbit would soon be fine physically.

"How do you all fare this day?" she asked, looking around at the four, though her eyes lingered on Frodo longer.

"We are well, my lady," Sam said formally, though his eyes too lingered on Frodo. Elanor looked to Eowyn, who shared a look of concern with her. She then reached out, pushing a plate of food towards Sam and Frodo.

"Please, eat," Eowyn urged.

Elanor filled her plate, happy to hear the excited chatter of the hobbits. They were all eager for the coronation tomorrow, set up with new clothing just for the occasion. And while she was truly eager to hear them talk, she could not help but glance at Eowyn, for she had hoped to question the woman on a certain steward's son that she had been spending a lot of time with of late.

"I'm sure you've been to loads of coronations, haven't you, Lady Elanor," Pippin said, garnering her attention. She looked to the hobbit, smiling.

"I have not. The King of Mirkwood had long been king when I was born," she admitted.

"That's right. You live forever, don't you," Merry chimed in.

"We cannot be taken by disease or old age, no. But we can die in other ways," she replied. "Though I hope that we do not see such days again." The mood darkened slightly. The war had been only a few weeks before and they all carried their own memories of it. Had lost someone.

"But you must be happy, my lady. With Legolas," Merry chimed in, hoping to raise the mood. Elanor blushed slightly, burying her face in her cup and taking a drink before answering.

"I am," she replied.

"And your father is arriving today, is he not?" Merry continued.

"Yes, he is. With King Thranduil," she said.

"We're going to meet an Elf King," Pippin said, his eyes wide in awe, causing Elanor to chuckle.

"You have met Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. As well as Lord Elrond. It is not so different from that," she said. Her eyes then settled on Frodo. "Though it is not the first time he has met one of your kind." Frodo perked up slightly. "Many years ago, he met a hobbit called Bilbo."

Frodo's eyes widened slightly and then it seemed as though he remembered something.

"Yes… I think I might know something of that," he murmured. Elanor smiled at him warmly.

"I am most sure that he would be eager to meet you," she said. Frodo looked to his plate, seeming a bit bashful.

"I am just a hobbit," he mumbled.

"Oh, Frodo," Elanor said, still smiling as he looked up at her. "You must all know that you are far, far more than just that…"

* * *

Elanor stood in the courtyard, turning to Legolas as he fidgeted slightly. It was unlike him to be so unsure. She reached over, smoothing out his tunic and giving him a reassuring smile. They were dressed in borrowed clothing, but it would suffice. She had shared a few letters with her father and knew that they were bringing the both of them clothing fitting for a coronation and the rest of their time in Minas Tirith.

"All will be well," she said warmly. He smiled down at her, placing a hand on her cheek.

"With you at my side, of course it will be," he replied.

They then both turned, watching as a party of elves approached them, holding the banners of Mirkwood. Immediately, Legolas straightened, the smile falling from his face as he adopted a solemn expression. Elanor glanced at him one last time before turning to greet the party.

A smile broke out as she saw her father gliding towards them, a broad grin on his face. Without thinking, she stepped away from Legolas and continued until her arms were around his neck.

"Ada," she breathed.

She stepped back as he took her face gently in his hands, his eyes glistening.

"My star," he said. "I am so happy to see you once again. Alive and well." Elanor grinned as she hugged him again, happy to be reunited. It had been such a long time since the last he had visited Lothlorien. And so much had happened since, she scarcely knew where to start with catching up.

She then stepped back and dropped into a curtsey.

"My King," she said, looking up to meet Thranduil's gaze. He stared down at her, his face expressionless, though there was a certain warmth in his eyes.

"Elanor, it brings me such happiness to see you in good health after all these years," he said. His blue eyes then flicked over as Legolas stepped up to her side. He bowed to his father, his arms held behind his back, though Elanor reached out, taking his arm.

She then turned back to look at their fathers. Ailmar's eyebrows had risen as a smile filled his face. He then turned to Thranduil, who had made no movement. But suddenly there was a twitch at the corner of his mouth.

"It seems you two have become reacquainted," he said smoothly, his eyes drifting to Elanor's arm on Legolas'.

"We have, Father," Legolas said solemnly. He glanced at Elanor, who only nodded her encouragement. "In fact, we…" He frowned slightly as he faltered.

Ailmar turned to Thranduil, the two sharing a look.

"Am I to understand that perhaps young Elanor will at long last be returning to Mirkwood?" King Thranduil asked.

"Please tell us that you wish to be wed," her father added.

Elanor could not help as a bit of laughter bubbled up inside her, though she had known her father and the king would be pleased with the news. She looked to Legolas, who was now gazing down at her.

"We do," he said, a smile filling his face. Elanor blushed slightly as she turned back to her father and the king. There was no need to tell them of that night, but for a moment, she could not help but worry they could clearly read it upon both her and Legolas' faces.

The two older elves stared at them - her father's bright with joy, though the king had a bit more calculated look about him. One that made Elanor wish to squirm slightly. She had never been on the receiving end of King Thranduil's scorn or scolding and she could not help but feel a bit of pity for what Legolas may have endured growing up if this was anything to go by.

But then a smile filled his face as he held his hands out to Elanor. She nearly breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped over to him, accepting his hands.

"Truthfully, I have always seen you as a daughter, Elanor," he said as he smiled down at her. He then bent down and left a kiss on each cheek.

She could not help but grin brightly as she then turned and hugged her father again, seeing happy tears starting to fill his eyes.

"I am pleased with your choice in partner," Thranduil then said to Legolas as Elanor returned to his side and his arm automatically went around her waist again.

"As am I," Ailmar said. "Though we were beginning to wonder when you two would finally realize there was no other for each other."

Elanor could not help as she looked up at Legolas, _her_ Legolas, still smiling brightly. He met her eyes, his own shining with his happiness.

"It would seem we had a few things to learn about ourselves," Elanor said. "Though I agree, this was far too long coming."

"A sentiment I am inclined to agree with," Thranduil replied.

"I trust you cannot fault us for not wishing to wait as long as tradition dictates, then?" Legolas said, looking back to his father. For a moment, Elanor's heartbeat faltered, knowing how it could appear.

Just managing to keep her face composed, she looked back to her father and the king, Ailmar looking over at Thranduil with a quizzical look while Thranduil wore no expression whatsoever.

"Just how long do you intend to wait?" Thranduil asked, neither Legolas nor Elanor missing the quick, but sure glance his ice blue eyes made towards Elanor's abdomen. In an instant, she could not help the blush that had come over her cheeks.

For his earlier nerves, Elanor had to admit that Legolas did not falter now.

"A few months, perhaps? We intend to travel Middle Earth and see all there is to see and should like to set off as soon as we can," he said. "With a companion that we are both eager to introduce you to."

Thranduil stared at his son without speaking, though Elanor could clearly see his mind at work. It was tempting to laugh - she was sure that he would have more than a few thoughts about their so-called companion.

"More than that, as you said, this has been far too long in the making. Why waste more time?" Legolas continued.

"This is true…" Thranduil finally said. "We will discuss this further at a later time, but for now we must freshen up from our journey."

The king was already looking around, no doubt for a servant that would lead them to their rooms.

"I trust that you two will follow decorum for at least the time being?" he then asked as he raised an eyebrow at Elanor and Legolas as though they were no more than 20 years old.

"Of course," Legolas said, bowing towards his father as Elanor did the same, fighting off the blush that was sure to be staining her cheeks. Thranduil then strode passed them, his long robes flowing behind him.

"I will have your trunk sent to your rooms," Ailmar said as Elanor stepped over to hug him again. "And we will expect you both to dine with us tonight."

"Of course, Ada," Elanor said. Father and daughter shared one more smile before Ailmar took off after Thranduil. "Well, that was not so bad."

"I imagine he will summon me for the tongue-lashing he is saving for private soon enough," Legolas said, watching his father's back. He then turned to Elanor, smiling slightly. "But yes… we have survived… for now."

Elanor chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"At long last… the happy couple…"

The two turned, seeing Haldir walk up to them, a smile on his face though Elanor could see a lingering sadness in his eyes. He was with a small group of elves from Lothlorien. She forgot herself for a moment and strode towards him, throwing her arms around his neck as tears filled her eyes.

"I thought I would lose you," she whispered. Haldir chuckled softly and then stepped back from her, holding her at arm's length.

"You forget yourself, Elanor. You are now promised to someone else," he said lightly. He glanced towards Legolas. "At least I should hope so."

"You would be correct," Legolas said, stepping up to her side and putting an arm around her waist. Elanor turned to him, her cheeks pink as her eyes widened. Though she was happy to finally be with Legolas, it was still rather strange to be announcing publicly that they were to wed.

But a warm happiness had settled into her stomach as she thought about it.

"Legolas," she chided. He looked down at her, seeing her playful look of disapproval. A sheepish look came over his face before he turned back to Haldir.

"My apologies," he said. "It is truly good to see you again, Haldir. Especially looking so well." Elanor looked to the marchwarden, relieved to see a look of understanding on his face.

"No doubt thanks to Elanor's healing hands," he said.

Elanor then stepped away from Legolas, looking at him as she slid her arm through Haldir's.

"If you would give us but a few moments. There is much I wish to discuss with Haldir," she said, pleading with her eyes for Legolas to understand. He nodded and bowed slightly, before turning and walking away.

"It would seem the prince has wasted no time," Haldir said as he and Elanor began to walk through the courtyard. She looked up at him in shock, though relaxed slightly when she saw no judgment there.

"Truthfully… it was my doing," she admitted, looking away from him. Haldir chuckled.

"I am not so surprised to hear," he replied. "You always did have a rash side to you." Elanor looked up at him, frowning slightly. "It is what makes you so fascinating, you must know. That passion that drives you forward."

Elanor laughed softly, but then stopped turning to Haldir, her expression suddenly serious. She worried for him and knew that he would put on a brave face. But just because she was now Legolas' betrothed - soon to be his wife - she did not wish to lose her friendship with Haldir. Granted, she could not help but think it selfish of her. All she wanted was for Haldir to find his own happiness. And with her returning to Mirkwood and then traveling with Legolas and Gimli, perhaps he would finally have that chance without her getting in the way.

"Elanor… you do not need-"

"But I do," she said, cutting him off as she reached for his hands and gripping them tightly. "You have given me so much. And you are still one of my dearest friends. You deserve so much more."

He stared down at her a few moments before a soft smile came over his face.

"This is payment enough. Seeing you well. And happy. The elleth that I once knew," he said softly. "The light has returned to your eyes and I sense that you no longer carry the darkness of your past."

Elanor looked away from him, blinking back tears.

"Do not worry for me, Elanor. I will find my own happiness. Whether here or beyond," he said. She looked back at him.

"You wish to go to the Undying Lands?" she asked softly. Haldir pulled his hands from her, folding them behind his back.

"It is where we will all go at some point, is it not?" he asked. "For now, I will stay in Lothlorien, but when the time is right, yes, I will join the others of our kind. The age of the elves is coming to an end, Elanor. But fear not, I know that our paths will cross again."

They regarded each other a few moments before Elanor stepped closer and embraced him.

"Live well, Haldir. I am truly sorry that I could not-"

"Hush now, Elanor," he said, interrupting her. "I will be fine. You have no need to apologize to me."

She stepped back from him, offering him a watery smile.

"You are where you are meant to be. With the one you are meant to be with," he said. Elanor nodded slowly, then turned, taking his arm.

"Come, shall I show you around Minas Tirith?" she asked lightly.

"Of course…"

* * *

Elanor stepped over to the edge of the courtyard, looking out across Pelennor Fields, taking a deep, cleansing breath of the night air. It was a far cry from when she first arrived in the midst of battle. She could hear laughter and music pouring out from the palace and knew the celebrations were likely to continue on well into the night.

While she had thrown herself wholeheartedly into celebrating the coronation, and then unexpectedly the wedding, of Aragorn and Arwen, she needed a few moments to herself.

It felt as though she had been in constant motion the last few months and now that she had a moment to stand still, she nearly did not know just what to do with herself. Of course, she knew what came directly - she, Legolas and Gimli would travel back to Mirkwood with King Thranduil and her father where they would stay a few months while they plotted out their journey. Then they would wed. Then, the three would travel Middle Earth and see all that there was to see.

But still, part of her felt a bit aloof. And unbelieving of where she now stood.

Just months ago, she had been content, if not fulfilled, with her existence in Lothlorien, thinking perhaps she would live out her time on Middle Earth there. But even then, Elanor knew that something was missing and that she wasn't really living. Then Legolas had returned to her life, throwing her quiet life back into chaos.

Granted, even if he had not shown up, the war likely would have done much the same.

Unconsciously, Elanor reached up, lightly touching her side where she still bore her scar. Though she felt the smooth silk of her dress under her fingertips, just under that, she could sense the ridge of the wound that she would have for the rest of her days.

She had left her safe haven of Lothlorien. Fought in three battles - three impossible battles. Had led a small battalion of elves.

She had told Legolas that she loved him. And he returned her affections. She had moved from the darkness that had plagued her for the last 100 years and into the light.

Closing her eyes, Elanor tilted her head back, a soft smile coming across her features as a light breeze blew her hair back.

"Pray tell, love of my life, what takes you away from the festivities. I do hope that I am not already boring you and failing miserably in my duties before we are even wed."

Elanor looked over her shoulder as Legolas walked up to her, a playful smile on his face. He was dressed in the finery of Mirkwood and looked every bit the prince that he was. Turning, she stepped up over to him as he placed his hands on her waist, leaving a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Are you finally ready to tell me just what it was that you discussed with your father before the coronation?" she asked lightly, an elegant eyebrow arched at him.

Legolas smiled as a small chuckle left his lips.

"You need ask? I am sure you know full well how that went," he replied.

"He did not believe you, did he?" Elanor asked, though she still smiled. She found that it mattered not what the king thought now – she would be Legolas' wife soon enough.

"I must admit, I did rather enjoy the look of annoyance on his face," Legolas replied, causing Elanor to laugh softly. "Your father, however, looked as though he could not possibly be any happier. In fact, they wish for us to exchange rings before we journey back to Mirkwood." Both of Elanor's eyebrows rose at that. "It seems my father is willing to expedite the proceedings."

"Likely to maintain appearances," she replied wryly, her hand coming to rest on her stomach. "I have not missed the many canny glances he has bestowed upon us."

Legolas chuckled again, pulling her closer to him.

"Little does he know…" he replied softly before kissing her gently. "Though I assume once we do gift him with a grandchild, all will be forgiven." Elanor could not help as she surely blushed under the heated gaze he was currently giving her.

"We are not yet wed, _your highness_ , there is plenty of time for that later," she replied with a soft laugh. "Besides, I do not wish to travel while with child."

"Very well," Legolas said with a sigh. Elanor only chuckled again as she turned to face the fields, though his arms did not leave her waist. She leaned back against his strong chest, once again staring out into the distance.

"What do you think we will find out there?" she asked. Legolas was silent a few moments.

"Anything," he finally said. Elanor looked at him over her shoulder, a smile on her lips.

"Anything?" she asked. Legolas sighed.

"If I have learned anything from the Fellowship, it is that there are a great many things out there to discover… far beyond anything that you could imagine," he said. "And I am grateful that this time I will be able to discover them with you at my side." He looked down at her.

"And Master Gimli," Elanor reminded him. "Though I wonder if it is such a good thing that I-"

Legolas cut off her words with a kiss.

"He is happy that you are to join us," he said softly. "And he knows that I cannot stand to be parted from you. I spent 100 years far from you. Forgive me if I do not wish to allow another second to pass without you near."

Elanor felt the breath leave her as she looked into his eyes, seeing the depth of his love for her clearly there. She supposed it had always been there, though he had carefully guarded himself at times. And others, she was too caught up in her own thoughts and troubles that she did not see it. Such sweet relief it was to finally be able to see and express it freely.

Elanor turned in his arms, wrapping her own around his neck.

"For the rest of eternity, I will love you, Legolas," she said softly. "And I am eager to start on this new adventure with you."

"As am I," he replied. He bent down, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss that Elanor wished could go on forever. But a bout of laughter reminded her that they were likely soon to be missed, if they were not already.

Though part of her cared not, she knew that it would go a great ways if they did not attempt yet another thing to irk King Thranduil, who no doubt had noticed their absence by now.

Sensing this as well, Legolas stepped back from her, a smile on his face as he started leading her towards the large doors of the palace, his fingers intertwined with her own. Elanor could not help as a soft, happy sigh escaped her lips.

It was true that she did not know what they would face as they went on from here, but that mattered not.

Not as long as she had her love at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end! Had to rewrite this chapter a bit – especially after I altered the chapter of the battle at the Black Gate, though I had planned to work on it after I wrote the draft as I wasn't completely happy with it. Again, tried to play coy with what happened that night before the battle, though I think this one makes it a bit clearer that, well, nothing happened. Though… who knows?
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, following and commenting! I hope you've enjoyed this story! I enjoyed writing it, though… I kind of doubt I'll venture back into LOTR fanfic – save for the promised Haldir story sometime in the future. It's a bit tough to write, to be honest. Anyway, thanks again!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I started writing this A LONG time ago. And this is actually the second reiteration of this story that I’ve worked on, finding the first version too dark and well, wrote myself into a corner. So, I started over, though I kept a good portion of the original plot and even used some of what I had written for the first version - just tweaked it a bit. 
> 
> While it follows the storyline from the movies, it does follow the timeline from the books. And a lot of the lore and background comes from the books.
> 
> It’s my first go at a Lord of the Rings fanfic (or well… I guess technically second), so hoping I got it right. But suppose in the end, all that matters is that I’ve written a story that I’m happy with. Hope you guys enjoy!


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